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Thread: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    When you have a "sugardaddy" sometimes even w/o the "sugar", do any of you have guilty feelings when your sugardaddy starts to expect sex after all of the cash he has dropped on you both ITC and OTC? I would think it would be extremely high maintenance and streesful maintaining this type of agreement for any length of time after the sugardaddy starts expecting sex or will cut you off of the $$$ train. Of course if you both mutually agree on the sex thing there is no issue, but that's often not the case...

  2. #2
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    From what I've heard, if you're not into the sex aspect and the original agreement was no sex, it's time to move on to another SD. Even if you give into the pressure and have sex, the money will start tapering off. The novelty will wear off for him and he might go find another SugarBaby for new experiences.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    if he's spending a lot of money hoping to get sex and doesn't get it, the only thing feel is pity

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    laplover69: you can only ask the same question so many times bro. All your threads have the same answer. Don't Expect Sex.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    actually i did feel guilty about one regular-turned-sugardaddy-minus-sugar. he really thought we were going to date. i mean, i never told him so, but when my ex bf and i broke up, he truly thought he was the next on my list. he had spent SO much money on me and when my foot was broken he was sending me checks made to cash to "pay my rent" eventhough i had more than enough to do so. (it was a great way to get some income while disabled.) And he was paying my phone bill. But then he wanted more of my time, and more, and more, and i felt like i was somehow not being fully honest in allowing him to believe that MAYBE we'd date eventhough i told him that it wouldnt happen now. i think sometimes he made himself believe it was possible. denial is VERY powerful. it ended but not really, i told him hell no would we ever date and to know that. he still comes in to the club when he's in town to spend on me, but not 1000s like he used to, just 100s, which im not complaining about. still paqys the phone bill. i think lesson learned is that honesty is the best policy in the end even if you lose money.

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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    No, I've never felt guilty, esp. since they become a real hassle in the end.
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

    -Sade
    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    The only thing a person hates more than being a sex object, is NOT being a sex object.
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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    I guess Im getting hung up on semantics. But to me a sugardaddy minus the sugar is nothing more than a PL/RIL with too much money and no balls. Other than here in this parallel universe, its pretty much understood that a sugardaddy and his sugarbaby have already done the negotiating up front.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    I believe there is need for a certain amount of honesty in such transactions. As such, deceit is decrepit, IMHO.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    If it's all discussed in advance, what's the problem? Consenting adults can agree to all manner of arrangements, including sex. But dancers by default are not inclined to provide sex to customers just because the customer expects it after dropping bundles of cash on said dancers.

    How friggin' difficult is this to understand?
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    I never slept with my SD's. And I always established that I wasn't going to fuck them. They always said, "Okay fine. I just want your company. Blah, blah." In the end, it's usually the same story, though. They want sex and I'm not with it. So I cut my losses and bounce. May I add these were all older introverts, so I'm sure that has something to do with it.
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

    -Sade
    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    The only thing a person hates more than being a sex object, is NOT being a sex object.
    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten View Post
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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    frances, if you werent sleeping with them then by definition they werent surgardaddys. They were just kindly PL/RIL's that gave you a lot of money in the unrealistic hope of getting something that you had no intention of giving.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    is that the definition of a sugar daddy or a john?

    a sugar daddy's definition only defines his role (provide sugar) but does not explain hers.

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    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    Perhaps a "sugarless" daddy is a more appropriate term here? LOL. Unfortunately many times HONESTY is not MUTUALLY discussed upfront, therefore the end outcome is often a train wreck for both parties. Sure feelings change for some, but decption is not a good way to cultivate any sugar or "sugarless"daddy type of agreement.
    Last edited by laplover69; 11-20-2006 at 05:08 AM.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    is that the definition of a sugar daddy or a john?

    a sugar daddy's definition only defines his role (provide sugar) but does not explain hers.
    I don't know I agree with fbr and so do a lot of sources.

    here

    When I see an older man with a younger chick I almost always think "sugar daddy" and in my head that is defined by the younger woman who looks for older men with financial independence to apply her self to and basically fake a relationship with in exchange for monetary gain during the length of the relationship. He of course gets the benefit of the time and energy of a women he wouldn't otherwise have. Sex doesn't HAVE to happen, but the sugar daddy role implies it.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    Okay, well.
    If - and this would never happen, but if - I had a guy who negotiated (in whatever loosely structured way such things are negotiated) a relationship including sex for money and then didn't deliver - yeah, probably.
    If, the way the scenario described usually plays out, you instead have a guy who tells her that sex doesn't matter as much as her company, that later, if she feels like it they can add sex, etc., etc., essentially counting on a sense of obligation to force her legs open - I mean, that's just taking him at his word. I wouldn't feel guilty over that. I don't really believe in guys that aren't counting on sex occurring at some point unless they are impotent or fetish oriented; but I also think that people in their right minds can appropriately be taken at their words.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    I think that as long as it was clear that you WERE NOT going to have sex with the guy for money, it's okay. It just all depends on your personal level of comfortable boundaries.

    For example, you can provide great GFE (minus the sex) and as long as you are upfront about not meeting them OTC then you can keep a regular/SD both happy and spending for a long, long time.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    I don't know I agree with fbr and so do a lot of sources.

    here
    those don't say just sex. It says friendship or intimacy or sex. Sex is not a given.

    If sex is what a guy wants, I don't get why he's with a girl playing games with him. That makes no sense because there are tons of girls that will give it up.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    agreed there, and paying for it no less...

    I was just saying that the definition of a John is a guy who pays for sexual activity, a sugar daddy is a guy who pays for a girlfriend which may or may not include monogamy and sexual activity.

    All negotiated I'm sure. Games over there though.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR
    frances, if you werent sleeping with them then by definition they werent surgardaddys. They were just kindly PL/RIL's that gave you a lot of money in the unrealistic hope of getting something that you had no intention of giving.

    FBR
    Ahh yes, now I understand...
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

    -Sade
    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    The only thing a person hates more than being a sex object, is NOT being a sex object.
    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
    If you should your way through life you'll be should-ing all over yourself later.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten View Post
    Finger pointing is awesome!! No really, it gets things done.

  20. #20
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    I can't be your sugar daddy fresca,
    but baby, I b yo'r snaaack pack...
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Veteran Member Star Player's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    Unbelievable Chrissy a guy would pay a dancer's rent, phone, etc. and then not be getting sex? He was certainly no player. What, did he think the SC Santa would be coming LOL. I don't give dancers handouts or loans ever.....if they get money from me its for services rendered.....lap dances, extras, etc. If I am gonna be your SD hon, there better be some sugar and I mean premium quality. Artificial sweetener won't float my boat.
    I date strippers, especially if they love to model for me.



    Parker

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    Senior Member lola025's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guilty feelings from having a Sugardaddy

    That's why I don't have sugar daddys...I don't need any drama and I sure would feel guilty just taking someone's money..but then that's just not me. I would feel really guilty and I do believe they have a reason to think they will get some. It truly is like leading them on like or not and although they're foolish I can't help to feel sorry for them. My time is very precious otc and money and shopping sprees to put up w/ spending time w/ some man i'm not attracted to is just not worth it, I have my own money if I want to go shopping. I'm also a big believer of Karma, it just doesn't seem right. Plus, I just can't fake liking someone OTC. I'm a totally different person otc..In the club oh yah...be my sugar daddy.

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