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Thread: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    I hate Thanksgiving for one reason. My friend committed accidental suicide on the 23rd six years ago. I visited his grave on the way to my Thanksgiving with my family every single year. This year, of course, I cannot go.

    And this year, the 23rd falls on Thanksgiving...just like that time.

    Even though I don't cry anymore, I still remember every single year how, during Thanksgiving dinner with my family, I got a phone call asking if I had read the paper, because Tim was dead.

    I remember running to my neighbours house in frantic tears asking for the paper, saying I'd give it back but they didn't want it.

    I remember being grounded because I was so lost, I aimlessly walked through my apartment complex for what I thought was an hour, but turned out to be four.

    I remember sitting on the swing set with my best friend as we cried over why we wished Tim was back with us. How she admitted to me she was going to ask him out when we got back to school on Monday.

    I am not sad... I am not upset... I just remember.. and I get very quiet and I think. I think a lot.

    And people always wonder what's wrong and look at me and say, "Hey, cheer up, it's Thanksgiving!!!"

    And all I can think of to be thankful for... is that nobody called this year during dinner.


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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.


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    Veteran Member kittykat1971's Avatar
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. What a touching story. Even though you cannot vist your friend's grave, I hope you that you find peace this Thanksgiving.

    I feel your pain. My father passed away 7 years ago, and we buried him almost to this day. It is a very sad time of the year for me as well. However, I do look at everything in my life that I am thankful for...most importantly, my children, my husband, my family, my friends, etc. And that does make me appreciate all that I have in my life.

    I wish you comfort at this time. The holidays are always difficult, even if we do not have sad memories...

    Kat

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    Hehheh... I just remembered something else. Tim was a huge brat and we always said if Tim went to heaven, we bet he was stealing God's halo... so if we ever saw a ring in the clouds, we knew it was Tim stealing god's halo... we'd always say to each other, "I got your halo." when we saw the clouds form like that.

    Thanks, Pooks, that made me smile.


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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    How exactly does one commit suicide accidentally?
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    Some kids in school said "Hey if you choke yourself you get high!!"

    A belt and an hour in a garage later...

    (and no, he wasn't doing it for sexual arousal, I've heard that, but the coroner proved it wasn't so - he was fully dressed)


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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    I tried googling him to see if his news articles were still up... they're not... but I found pages my friend's made that said "In loving memory of Tim B----".... *sigh*

    Edit: CRAP! Now I -am- crying. I just remembered how I left his obituary at his unmarked grave the day he was buried because I refused to let even a day pass by where someone didn't know who was down there. He hadn't even gotten his headstone yet.
    Last edited by Lysondra; 11-19-2006 at 11:57 PM.


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  8. #8
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    someone fully clothed hanging from a belt in a garage sounds an aweful lot like regular suicide to me....

    *hugs*

    ive gone no more then an hour without bawling the past few days too. best mates dying sucks balls.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    Quote Originally Posted by mermaidnz
    someone fully clothed hanging from a belt in a garage sounds an aweful lot like regular suicide to me....

    *hugs*

    ive gone no more then an hour without bawling the past few days too. best mates dying sucks balls.
    He wasn't hanging, he was crumpled up on the floor. No note, no reason to die - he even had plans for the next week he made with people.

    Also, the kids admitted they told him that. *sigh*


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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    Well, I think "accidential" is a bit boarderline if you're going to choke yourself with a belt instead of just wrapping your hands around your throat. Not that Freud wasn't kind of nuts, but he theorized that "there are no accidents". Did he have problems?

    On the bright side, just imagine what the dudes who told him that are going through...
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  11. #11
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    I know I'll be a wreck next February for some of the same reasons you posted. Hang in there.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21
    Well, I think "accidential" is a bit boarderline if you're going to choke yourself with a belt instead of just wrapping your hands around your throat. Not that Freud wasn't kind of nuts, but he theorized that "there are no accidents". Did he have problems?

    On the bright side, just imagine what the dudes who told him that are going through...
    I would -really- appreciate it if you didn't argue the semantics of my friend's death with me. I was there and it was a long time ago. He had been choking himself for months and he thought he could get a better high if he didn't 'chicken out' by using a belt - again, the other kids told him that. Two boys that went to our school.

    If it was suicide, he wouldn't have made plans for the next week. He wouldn't have called his mum twenty minutes before asking what was for dinner. He wouldn't have set the dishes. He wouldn't have left himself at that time for his 7 year old sister to find. He would have left a note.

    Computer says no.


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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    I could see it happen. He got the belt to tight and when he passed out it did not free up, he pushed it to far he was out and could not free it up. Sorry for your loss.
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

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    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    Whatever the circumstances, dead is dead, and I'm really sorry that happened.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    Quote Originally Posted by big_daddy
    I could see it happen. He got the belt to tight and when he passed out it did not free up, he pushed it to far he was out and could not free it up. Sorry for your loss.
    Yup, you got it. Apparently (and this was 2000) only 11 people die a year in the world from this exact thing/reason.

    And thank you, bunny... you're right, dead is dead. :/

    Ahhh... I'm starting to feel better. Another friend mentioned on Myspace how she missed him and it feels better knowing you're not the only one who remembers.


    Look like a woman
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    Senior Member Nightwalk's Avatar
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    Default Re: *sigh* It's that time of the year again.

    Sorry that happened Lil, Days when loved ones die near or on a holiday is always hard. I hope you have a good Thanksgiving at least.

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