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Thread: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

  1. #1
    Kaiyla
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    Default Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    I need some advice but I need people to be pretty objective just because I am afraid of tainting this issue with my own (unescessary) anxiety.
    My guy, who's in his mid 30's and has been pursuing acting for some time now, have moved to L.A. in search of more opportunity. I finally found a job where I feel fully happy nannying for the child of a celeb who is an actress herself. My guy on the other hand is not as happy and is still busting his ass to accomplish his goal to become an actor. He is an amazingly hard-worker and VERY dedicated, he's done crazy amounts of "extra" work in films/tv shows, taken acting classes, networked w/ peers, but is still just hoping for a decent break into the real world of acting. I fear that not accomplishing his life-long dream of acting (or at LEAST earning his Screen Actor's Guild Card and a minor acting part in SOMETHING) and it will eventually secretly devastate him. He's always wanted this so bad.
    He has made a proposition to me that he write a letter to my boss (who he has met before a couple of times), saying that he respects her work and that if there are any avenues she can direct him down to help forward his own acting career, he would definitely appreciate it. He is very personable, very articulate and told me that this letter of "propostion" would be very low-key, low-pressure, just a kind of "if you know anyone/anything that you might be able to recommend" kinda thing.
    I SO want to see him accomplish his goals but am hesitant to take this letter to my boss. I do not feel I am truly at the point where she and I are that close, and I don't want her to feel...I don't know..obligated to help out the nanny's bf when she just might not have the resources that he needs. Am I being overanalytical? Should I just support my guy and get over my own anxiety/fear of inconviencing her or what not? What would you do?

  2. #2
    Kaiyla
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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    Basically, is it in bad taste to ask my boss (indirectly, by letter of my bf) for any sort of recommendation for direction for my guy?

  3. #3
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    I think it is probably a bad idea. If you have to ask, then you obviously arent comfortable enough with her to be asking, and she probably wouldn't be comfortable with you asking.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    I don't think it's a good idea. You're crossing the line between her work and her personal life if you give her that letter.

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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    I agree with the above. She could take it the wrong way, and that would make things weird for you.

  6. #6
    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    If anything, is there a way you could do it implicitly? i agree with the other posters that it's not a good idea to ask your boss for help. however, if there's ever an occasion for your boyfriend to cross paths with her (for example, picking you up from work because you have "car trouble"), you could introduce them to one another quickly. you don't have to mention that he's an aspiring actor, but at least that could set the stage for future contact...who knows.
    "Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days."

    ~Che Guevara, "The Motorcycle Diaries"

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    My mum used to hang out with movie stars in her heyday (back in the day of Milton Berle though)...

    Y'know what they told her their biggest pet peeve was?

    That.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  8. #8
    Kaiyla
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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    bloodydewdrop, they've already met one another a few times already and she likes him a lot which is pretty cool.
    So far these responses aren't looking like their much in favor of this idea though..

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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    slip it in casually. don't give him a letter. just say something like your bf needs some direction in his acting career. what kind of advice could i give him? so it sounds like you are asking for advice which people tend to like to give out. I wouldn't do anything so formal as hand a letter to your boss.

  10. #10
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    Yeah, don't give her the letter! But if the two of them should meet and hit it off, that could be fortuitous. Just don't make it look like you're trying to get them together on purpose. I've worked with a lot of actors and they all REALLY hate that.

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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    Although I think the gesture is quite honorable I think if he has the talent and is proud of his own abilities he would be happier to have made it on his own accord.

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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    No one makes it on their own accord. There are probably over a million people who have the talent and looks to be a movie star yet only a handful of people actually have the connections to make it happen. With few exceptions it is all about who you know.

  13. #13
    Veteran Member wonderkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    Perhaps your boyfriend should talk to your boss himself?

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    I meant that the boyfriend can probably do this on his own especially if he already knows this woman , also this is what agents do for you . And yes I realize the competition is fierce just like sports - you must stand out from the crowd .But anyways I hope he does well and his time comes .


    Quote Originally Posted by SC_dude View Post
    No one makes it on their own accord. There are probably over a million people who have the talent and looks to be a movie star yet only a handful of people actually have the connections to make it happen. With few exceptions it is all about who you know.

  15. #15
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Asking my boss to help out my guy?

    Bad move done do it. My ex works in entertainment here, he plays in a band who were big in their day, still well known and he mixes with alot of Aussie celebs. People do that sort of thing all the time. NO ONE LIKES IT, BAD MOVE!!! Ive seen it happen, Ive heard even more stories and I have never seen it work in anyones favour.
    Your boyfriends best bet is not to push things with her at all. Maybe if he's cool and lucky she will give him some help or advice. I assume she already knows what he does right? And if you value your job, dont do this!!! I highly doubt she will feel obligated to you either, if anything it could disapoint her or piss her off alot. And low pressure? No, it will most likely be annoying to her. I very much doubt that your letter would be the first, or the last.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kaiyla View Post
    Basically, is it in bad taste to ask my boss (indirectly, by letter of my bf) for any sort of recommendation for direction for my guy?

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