im sorry if this thread bores everyone to tears, i am just at a loss as to what to do once again with the same old situation.
my boyfriend of 3 years who i plan to marry (we have discussed it and plan to get engaged next year sometime) has basically given me the choice between him or dancing. first he was OK (never quite cool) with it, then he changed his mind. several times i have come home from work and he has convinced me that i should not go back because it is having a negative impact on our relationship - in his opinion.
so once again i promised i would not go back and i really did mean it when i said it because i do really love him.
but now im thinking it is not fair for him to ask me.
he uses the following reasons:
- he sits at home and cries when i am at work because he can't handle it
- he hates me working really really late like til 4 or 5am
- he has trouble feeling sexual towards me because he thinks of my job (this one i think is bullshit coz there doesnt seem to be any probs in that department with us)
- he is worried someone he knows will see me at work (coz him and i are the only ones who know i dance)
- he is worried about my safety
i can't even think of the other reasons he has given me because there are so many.
i just feel like dancing is something that i want to do at the moment.
i am due to graduate from university mid next year and the money is drawing me back each time.
i dont know why he expects me to struggle with some crap paying job when i can do this for a short amount of time.
number one reason i dance is because of the money and the fact that i take home the money each night but i also love dancing, i love being on stage and doing pole dancing tricks, i like the fact that my work involves major exercise instead of sitting around on my arse at a job.
i just feel like a kid who has been told i am not allowed to do something.
i don't want to loose him over dancing and he keeps saying "would you really choose dancing over me?" but i dont view it that way. if he loved me unconditionally and as much as he said then he could trust me to do this.
he keeps saying it is not about trust, he knows i wont do anything that he would not approve of at the club but what he doesn't understand is that the more i am around the patrons the more i appreciate him coz he is so much nicer and there is nothing to the dancer-customer relationship it is just a business transaction.
what should i do ladies?
i think about it all day everyday and its tearing me apart literally.



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), I can see why your boyfriend is upset but at the same time you know if this is something you really want to do and you have been together for that long, I think you two can talk it out. Thats always the best thing to do is sit down and have a long talk about it and try to find a compromise, I think he just does not want to lose you personally .... Maybe he thinks you will meet someone else dancing or get hurt (physically) like you said..... Just my 2c
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Money Makes Me Horny

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