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Thread: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    im sorry if this thread bores everyone to tears, i am just at a loss as to what to do once again with the same old situation.

    my boyfriend of 3 years who i plan to marry (we have discussed it and plan to get engaged next year sometime) has basically given me the choice between him or dancing. first he was OK (never quite cool) with it, then he changed his mind. several times i have come home from work and he has convinced me that i should not go back because it is having a negative impact on our relationship - in his opinion.
    so once again i promised i would not go back and i really did mean it when i said it because i do really love him.
    but now im thinking it is not fair for him to ask me.

    he uses the following reasons:

    - he sits at home and cries when i am at work because he can't handle it
    - he hates me working really really late like til 4 or 5am
    - he has trouble feeling sexual towards me because he thinks of my job (this one i think is bullshit coz there doesnt seem to be any probs in that department with us)
    - he is worried someone he knows will see me at work (coz him and i are the only ones who know i dance)
    - he is worried about my safety

    i can't even think of the other reasons he has given me because there are so many.

    i just feel like dancing is something that i want to do at the moment.
    i am due to graduate from university mid next year and the money is drawing me back each time.

    i dont know why he expects me to struggle with some crap paying job when i can do this for a short amount of time.

    number one reason i dance is because of the money and the fact that i take home the money each night but i also love dancing, i love being on stage and doing pole dancing tricks, i like the fact that my work involves major exercise instead of sitting around on my arse at a job.
    i just feel like a kid who has been told i am not allowed to do something.

    i don't want to loose him over dancing and he keeps saying "would you really choose dancing over me?" but i dont view it that way. if he loved me unconditionally and as much as he said then he could trust me to do this.

    he keeps saying it is not about trust, he knows i wont do anything that he would not approve of at the club but what he doesn't understand is that the more i am around the patrons the more i appreciate him coz he is so much nicer and there is nothing to the dancer-customer relationship it is just a business transaction.

    what should i do ladies?
    i think about it all day everyday and its tearing me apart literally.

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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    I really don't think this is a question someone else can answer for you. Sure everyone on here can give you pointers, sympathize with you and say he is being an ass, or tell you to wise up ... but either way that is someone else's opinion about your own life. When it comes down to it, only you can decide -- and you need to really listen to what's in your heart.

    Even if this weren't dancing, it's not uncommon for career to come in the way of relationship. My boyfriend and I have this problem with my day job b/c he wants to move, and my career makes it difficult to relocate. Ultimately I did have to decide what is more important to me -- relationships are compromise. After really getting in touch with what I wanted for my life, I decided that this relationship fills me more than anything else in my life, so I decided to relocate. Now, 4 years ago, when I was starting grad school, no way would I have quit that for the man I was with -- at that time my career was important and I knew I'd never be satisfied with myself if I didn't finish school. So what's important to you -- and think long term too. Is he really the guy for you? I have trouble understanding people when they say "we're going to get engaged" rather than we are engaged -- it sounds like a commitment fear. But again, I don't know you or your situation, so it's not fair of me to judge.

    If you really love this man, I would consider some of the other things he is saying -- it doesn't just sound like a trust issue. The safety concern is legitimate, and something that my boyfriend brought up when I wanted to dance. We have hired a good friend of ours as security for me, and that has set us both at ease. But we have an agreement about dancing ... he feels like he will be fine with it, he's planning to come to both of the amateur nights I'm doing, and he has dated a stripper before for a short time. But if he finds he has a problem with it, he's agrees to be honest and straightforward about it. I appreciate the fact that he is willing to talk to me about it rather than just get angry and let it fester (as many guys do). So the fact that your man is telling you how he feels about it means he respects you enough to be honest with you about a difficult subject for him.

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    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    I had this problem. My boyfriend and I compromised. I really love him, and he's a hell of alot more important to me then some job. (But I am starting to really dislike dancing, so you and I are in a separate boat I guess.) The truth is, dancers are at high risk for crimes, so your boyfriend is right about that. My boyfriend worked as a bouncer for a few days at my club which was a HUGE mistake, (we really needed the cash,) but he saw how disrespected dancers are. I think your boy is just looking out for your best intrests. Perhaps you could compromise and say well I'll stop dancing once I'm done college, until then I'll take every precaution for safety. My boy gave me a knife. You should definetly have pepperspray even if you aren't a dancer. However, you cannot be the only one giving in (as you could continue dancing for years but if you stopped after college that would be your compromise,) he would have to compromise not to bug you constantly about it because he knows there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope this works out for you guys.

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    Dump him. If you really want to be a stripper then be a stripper. Quitting and taking some job you hate will just make you resentful of him. If this is something you want to do, then do it. I had a past BF like that, and it just won't work. I really wanted to dance, he really didn't want me too. Recipe for disaster IMO.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

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    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
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    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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    Senior Member Nightwalk's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    Well even tho im not a lady (Hey its not under lady's only! ), I can see why your boyfriend is upset but at the same time you know if this is something you really want to do and you have been together for that long, I think you two can talk it out. Thats always the best thing to do is sit down and have a long talk about it and try to find a compromise, I think he just does not want to lose you personally .... Maybe he thinks you will meet someone else dancing or get hurt (physically) like you said..... Just my 2c

  6. #6
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    I think you've gotten sound advice here. MANY threads like this here will generally get the standard response:

    Dump him, do what makes you happy!


    ETC.... (no offense intended Carmen )

    Usually I would agree. Probably most of the time when I was single. However, when you have someone in your life that could potentially be your life partner, you change your tune and think about it more closely. Your POV changes. I think it would be best to really evaluate the situation.

    Do you see yourself with him for the rest of your life?
    Can you imagine your life without him? What is it like? Do you want that instead because you wanted to dance?
    Which fulfills you more in the long run, like some lady said above: him or dancing?

    Your choice.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    choose the guy and when you break up in a year or so because you find him too controlling, jealous and territorial....then come back to dancing.

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    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    ROFLcopters.

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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    Quote Originally Posted by NatalieFRPhilly
    My boy gave me a knife. You should definetly have pepperspray even if you aren't a dancer.
    When I was a teenager, one of my biggest strongest male friends reminded me, "Be prepared to have anything you use to protect yourself taken away from you and used against you." What he meant was that a lot of women carry around items to protect themselves that they don't know how to use or aren't strong enough to prevent being taken. He demonstrated on our friend whose parents bought her a small hand gun when she went away for school. He took it from her easily and that which was meant to protect her would have killed her had he been trying to hurt her.

    So if you are carrying something like a knife, be certain you know how to prevent it being taken. Test out your pepperspray a few times so you already know how to use it in an emergency situation. Personally, this demonstration scared me enough that I don't carry anything -- I take self defense classes and I try to be smart about getting into dangerous situations (like always have a friend, etc.). Having a plan or knowing some ways to protect yourself might help ease that part of your boyfriend's concerns.

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    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    poor thing. i had the same problem!!!!

    of course anyone here cant tell u the RIGHT decision for you.

    you just have to listen to yer heart

    BUT, my boyfirned "claimed" all those same "Excuses" or whatever as yours did.
    what i did is just straighten em out. i told him the truth. he might think yer stripping in spite of him, or that u dont like him anymore and trying to find a new guy. he mite think u'll leave him for some RICH guy who can give u "everything". (at least thats what my boyfriend is afraid of, since he feels insecure that he makes less money than me now, therefore he may feel as if he cant "support" me that good anymore). maybe hes afraid ull fall into a "trap" (like u turning to drugs, a prostitute, forgetting about college, letting guys do extras for more money and what not). he could also just be plain insecure...to think that his girlfriend is now a stripper, guys paying for HER time, looks, body, personality, etc..he might feel "undesriable". (i know my b/f secretly loves when im jealous, sometimes he'll say things bout hot girls just to get a "but your mine!" out of me. just to see if i CARE. its weird, becuase im not insecure and jealousy is NOT a problem of mine, but i guess he thinks if i get jealous, he thinks i care. he feels "desired" by other hot women. you know? so i just play along for the sake of his delicate male ego, like most men have)

    you could just have a sit-down serious talk with hijm(without geting mad or into an arguement). a calm, mature one. u could tell him your NOT lookin for any other guys, ur doing it just for money. (i dont TELL my b/f i LIKE dancing naked/playing sex goddess/wearing sexy sluttier than usual clothes, even tho i do...it'd upset him, he would think i "LIKE" turning random guys on, DRESSING SEXY for for "them",even though it is a ego boost for me, its not really the main reason why i dance ) tell him u LIKE the stuff about the job rather than the job itself. (more money, less days of work, no boss tellin u wut to do, u can be mean to the customers, finicanal indepdence, plus yer college bills,great workout)

    ressaure him. that u wont cheat on him, that u only think of HIM while yer there. that u dont see anything in these guys except their wallet. i text my b/f once in a while at work, jus to let him know im OKAY< and that im thinking of him.

    and about the safety, just ressuare him bout the security,or bouncers, let him pick u up everynite(Even tho u sed he doesnt like it, but would he rather u drive alone and let some weird stalker follow u home???).

    its just shocking to a guy who hears from his girlfriends mouth shes gunna be a stripper. i mean i went out with my b/f for a year before even starting to dance. he was SHOCKED,pissed, scared and unwilling to deal with it. but i worked thru it, we BOTH did. u both have to be willing. he just has to understand. i mean since u think u wanna marry him, u shud give it a try. tell him yer not choosing dancing over him, yer choosing yer own FREEDOM, your LIFE! tell him u'd apperiate it if he would enjoy a relationship with an ACTUAL WOMAN(aka you) who can make her OWN decisions and has her OWN brain. he has to be able to handle it, or else, date a naive 14 year old who will do what u tell her.

    its all about understanding and trust. gotta find those two things. and maybe some compromises. don';t be one of those girls who give alot of their money over to their boyfriend becaused they demand the money, since they "think" they "deserve" it because theyre "putting up" with you dancing.(ive heard a couple girls complain their boyfirends are like this at my work)

    so, my boyfriend is OK with it now. he knows we need the money, and hes happy that i finnaly can make my OWN money now.(alot better than my 250 every 2 weeks from other crappy resturant jobs). he knows i wanna save money and he's happy im getting a head start. he does get insecure sometimes(sad look on his face, demanding to know if i cheated on him RIGHT when i get into the car after work), i try to be calm and ressure him that i would never. (even tho soemtimes i feel like saying, NO, GOD!) i dont really talk bout work either, i doubt he wants to hear bout it. i tell him a few things, but not much. i dont tell him what pervy guys i run into, he'd get pissed and would want to find them and beat them. i buy nice things for him once in a while or take him out to dinner.

    anyways this is a long reply. haha. but i wish u luck. of course, i think freedom always comes first, so no matter what, i hope u find what you want, and what makes u happy.

    goodluck!
    [True Passion Demands Respect]
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  11. #11
    Veteran Member Scout's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    You are who you are.
    He must accept who you are.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    The best advice I have seen here is to determine which one you want to be with for the long run...dancing or your soon to be fiance.

    It's not a mater of "If he loves you, he'll let you do what you want." Because one can just as easily turn that around and say, "If you loved him, you'de do what he wants." Either way it's controlling, not compromising.

    Is it all about the money? Could it be about the freedom you have while dancing? And maybe a little bit about the fun? Tell him.

    And one poster had a GREAT idea...in the way of a compromise, give yourself a dealine as to when you will stop dancing and then truly stop. But there has to be a compromise on his end too.

    And try to look at things from his end also. Let's say he took a job that you thought was un safe, and you worried CONSTANTLY that he would be hurt, or taken advantage of (it can happen to men too) or would be influenced to do things he wouldn't normally do....and even if the thought was rational or not you worried so much it made you sick. What you hope his response would be if you talked to him about it?

    Stripping is a sexual thing, even though we as dancers may not always feel that way because it is a JOB, but to men...it is. Not all men can handle that. And if a man TRIES and still cannot handle it, then give him a pat on the back for even trying. He is sharing a side of you that is intimate and personal to him. He has seen you flirt and be sexy and he can visualize you doing that for a stranger.....seriously, it takes a very different kind of guy to be able to stomache that and label it the way we do as dancers ourselves.

    I wish you luck in this, and again, TALK to him, if you two are meant to be, then you can get past this...together.




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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    He sounds manipulative. Start handing him your bills when they come in the mail if he wants you to have a lower paying job.

    P.S. If he REALLY sits at home and cries when you're at work, this is me laughing at him
    ->HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

    Haha.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    hey girls (and guy) thanks heaps these posts have def given me something to think about.
    i totally agree that his behaviour is controlling. while i do agree that it would be a difficult job for a guy to cope with i do try to do everything i can to reassure - text him every chance i get at work, phone him as soon as i leave work. there is also very good security at my work and i get walked from the club to my car by one of the security guys - they look after us.


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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    Be careful, if you see him as being controlling, this is only the beginning. And sorry, I don't believe him when he says he cries when you're at work and he's at home, IMO, that's a bunch of bull$hit!!! I've dated several guys who were very controlling and trust me, it only gets worse, this is why I'm choosing to stay single while I'm dancing, I don't want the extra burden!

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    Veteran Member oulala's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    I was in this situation as well with my fiance. The debate went on for probably a year. I chose him, because i want to be with him and marry him, and I need to respect his choices and feelings. It genuinely hurts him to imagine me dancing naked and simulating sex for other men, just as it would the other way around. (Well, you know what I mean.) As much as it sucks, relationships do involve compromise, and sadly enough it isn't always going to make you 110% happy. (Having your cake and eating it too.) I'd rather not hurt him and cause unneeded stress to our future, so i don't dance.

    Can you imagine your life without him? Do you even want to? Make sure dancing is really what you want before you cut him loose for it.

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    Newbie Kylea's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    I've gone through this as well, and I can say that there are some choices you really wish you could take back. He needs to put a ring on your finger before he has any right to talk, and you need to have a wedding date set - then compromise. Maybe you could teach dance instead of working at a club? Or agree to work shifts that are safer?

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    Newbie glamsniper's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    My profession is glamour photography, and I've run across girls in situations identical to yours many times. Moreover, I was in a relationship wherein she (GF) was psycho jealous. With all due respect, here's a little newsflash for you...

    No matter what you do, whether you strip, work in a dentist's office, clean windows, wait tables...he's still going to be controlling, and use stupid ass "examples" of why he wants you to do what, when, where, how, etc. His reasons for not wanting you to dance are pure BS manipulation. It's all in the personality, so use common sense. If you dislike being controlled, and are unhappy, then you'll get out when you've had enough. No girl gets out of a relationship based on my or any other person's advice, they haul ass when they're tired of putting up with all the crap from a jealous person. Another tidbit - jealous, controlling and insecure people are themselves very prone to cheating. That's why they have the jealous perspective to begin with.

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    Quote Originally Posted by glamsniper
    My profession is glamour photography, and I've run across girls in situations identical to yours many times. Moreover, I was in a relationship wherein she (GF) was psycho jealous. With all due respect, here's a little newsflash for you...

    No matter what you do, whether you strip, work in a dentist's office, clean windows, wait tables...he's still going to be controlling, and use stupid ass "examples" of why he wants you to do what, when, where, how, etc. His reasons for not wanting you to dance are pure BS manipulation. It's all in the personality, so use common sense. If you dislike being controlled, and are unhappy, then you'll get out when you've had enough. No girl gets out of a relationship based on my or any other person's advice, they haul ass when they're tired of putting up with all the crap from a jealous person. Another tidbit - jealous, controlling and insecure people are themselves very prone to cheating. That's why they have the jealous perspective to begin with.
    I disagree.

    Like all the girls say - dancing is a far different job from any other. There is a reason why many don't want friends, family, or even class mates to "go visit them at work."

    The reasons boyfriends don't want them stripping is far more complex than "controlling" and "insecure."

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    I'm gonna have to go with glamsniper on this one. I had a boyfriend who didn't want me to dance, didn't want me to work taxes, and didn't want me to work at a men's clothing store... He had excuses for ALL of them. I'm not saying stripping doesn't put strain in a relationship where it might not otherwise be. I'm saying that if the guy is telling you that you CAN'T strip, he's going most likely going to fit the profile of a controller.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    Quote Originally Posted by Deogol View Post
    I disagree.

    Like all the girls say - dancing is a far different job from any other. There is a reason why many don't want friends, family, or even class mates to "go visit them at work."

    The reasons boyfriends don't want them stripping is far more complex than "controlling" and "insecure."
    What other reason can you think of? All his "reasons" are just him imaging things, nothing in reality. He thinks it's unsafe but what makes him think that? He thinks it's affecting their sex life, but she is fine with it. It's all in his head.

    And what does not wanting your boyfriend hanging out at work have to do with anything? if I was a nurse, secretary, wahtever....I wouldn't want my bf there.

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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    Jealousy is not based on logic. It's based on delusional insecurity. There are secure, trusting guys out there who have dancer girlfriends, and they do not harass them about what they do, where they go, what they wear, what time to be home, call their cell incessantly when they're out with their girlfriends, etc. A jealous and insecure person integrates a hostile situation into the relationship, regardless. An example of this was my ex GF, she used my photography as a reason why it was easy to "...f*ck all the models...". Guess what? When I quit like she wanted me to, I worked installing home theater systems, then I managed a restaurant. Whaddya know, according to her, I was suddenly "...banging all the horny housewife customers..." I was installing the entertainment systems for, and then "...getting laid by the girls working at the restaurant...". Just because a girl dances does not give an insecure boyfriend valid reasons to be jealous. A stripper is not any more prone to screwing one of her horny clients than a doctor is prone to humping a willing patient.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    Okay, I am actually a person to whom it makes perfect sense. A lot of people will be uncomfortable with their significant other being romantic with other people and being sexual with other people. The fact that we do it for money and not for fun is relevant, but it doesn't close the issue.
    So - ask yourself:
    a) is he doing this because he has a legitimate emotional problem, or because he is being passive aggressive. Honestly, in this case (and I don't say this every time) it sounds like he is passively controlling you. I mean he sits at home and cries? He doesn't find you desirable? Somehow - to me - it doesn't ring genuine. As Emily says - controlling unpleasant guys are plentiful in our little subculture, and the first revealing moment is when they tell you that they can't handle you dancing. It doesn't mean to say that every guy who would not want his girlfriend to be a sex worker is controlling - but from our viewpoint it doesn't look good.
    b) If you decide that it is legitimate and not control-based, do you love him more than you want to dance? Not everyone in financial difficulty gets into the sex trade. You don't have to (although sometimes I think our horizons shrink so much in this business it SEEMS like we have to). If he is a good guy (and I don't mean of the "Good guy outside of his horrible controlling streak kind of good guy) you could graduate from college get an entry level job and be happy together.

    But none of us know him. You know him. You also know you.
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  26. #24
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    i guess every person adn every relationship is different, but personally I cannot be with someone who would have "issues" with me dancing, and here's why.

    1. it shows that he is insecure with himself and with our relationship, and/or lacking trust in me. i would absolutely never cheat on my partner; i have never given anyone even the slightest reason to believe that i ever would be less than completely faithful. so if he's working himself into a frenzy about what i'm supposedly doing at the club and letting his imagination run wild, that is not my problem. it's his insecurity speaking. and there's nothing you can do to placate someone who's being that irrational in their thinking.

    2. it shows that he has a strong controlling/demanding side to him. if a guy thinks he can tell me what I can and can't do for a living, what next? Is he going to try to make me give up pursuing music, tell me i can't study abroad, freak out if i go to a party without him, throw a fit if i want to wear less than a nun's habit when we go out in public? From my past experience, YES. The demands start with "i don't want you stripping" and they just snowball. And the more you sacrifice simply because someone else demands it of you, the more you'll be depressed, resent him, resent yourself for being a pushover, and make it obvious to him that you ARE a pushover who can always be beaten into submission with a bit of work.

    3. If his problem with me stripping is mainly a result of insecurity and/or lack of trust, then he will never be happy unless i'm a complete recluse. Let's get real--I have never been remotely attracted to anyone i've met in the SC. it's in the rest of my life that I meet tons of cute, interesting, wonderful guys. Most of my male friends are attractive; I meet countless hot guys when I sing in shows; I train with hot (mostly shirtless) acrobats at the studio; I see hot guys in my classes at school everyday...logically, if he's freaked out about me running off with or making out with some guy in teh SC, he's got it all wrong! It's the REST of life where I meet hot guys!

    And like I said...despite being around attractive guys all the time...I DO NOT WANT THEM and will not be flirting, cheating, etc if I have a wonderful relationship and an awesome guy already. I just won't. when I'm in a relationship and in love, everyone else truly does pale in comparison and I don't even feel attraction to anyone else. Any guy I would consider being with will understand this, and will trust me. If there is no trust, there is no point to the relationship.

    4. If I wasn't stripping, there is NO WAY i could afford school (or anything else, for that matter). Without this job, I would be busting my ass 50+ hours a week just to pay rent and i'd STILL be up to my ears in debt. I would have to give up pursuing everything that brings me fulfillment and happiness b/c i simply would not have enough time or money to achieve any of my goals. Been there, done that, was miserable. It is SELFISH for a guy to expect me to go back to that miserable state of existing. Someone who would try to guilt me back into that situation is NOT someone who wants the best for me, not someone who truly cares about my well-being. That is not love.

    5. I would never dream of telling another autonomous adult, much less a partner that I love, what to do with their life. I simply expect the same respect in return. And speaking of respect, I don't have any for drama-queen guys who lack common sense. My ex never had a problem with me dancing--he was reasonable and level-headed enough to realize that a) i loved him and would never cheat (including extras in the club), b) everything i say and do in the SC is, as he put it, "like another theatre role for you; it's all acting", and c) work only made me *more* excited about coming home to him and more appreciative of what a great guy i had. Any guy who fails to comprehend this is not worth the drama.

    But like I said, that's just my two cents and how i feel. if you feel differently, that's cool

  27. #25
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend versus dancing AGAIN!

    Picaresque your two cents was def worth more than 2 cents to read. i think i am going to make him read all these posts.
    i have had a week off dancing (kind of) because i have been working at melbourne SEXPO exhibition. so he has had a week off thinking that i have given up on the idea of dancing.
    i think u r right tho any dancer would be far mmore likely to meet a guy outside of a strip club than inside. for one thing, if we give out our number or any contact details at the club i work at the club considers that solicitation for sex and u will get fired and if it happens to be a cop then even worse charged with solicitation. then there is the fact, as u said that most dancers would not even be remotely attracted to the guys that come into strip clubs.
    no man could ever pick me up at work, not just because i love my partner but because i am not interested in guys who go to SC's and also because i consider myself acting when im there - im not being myself, the way guys treat u in there is not an ideal way to meet a partner (im not saying they are all horrible but they are there to see girls naked and semi naked dancing etc its just fantasy).
    anyway i appreciate all these posts. i am unhappy now because i have been told i cannot do something. its time i stood up for myself.

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