...because I am an incurable procrastinator. Here I am, with about ten and half hours before my paper is due, without it done...and somewhere sleep ought to come in between, but I shall have to postpone that to possibly after the class.
I might have had it done by now, but about two hours ago I realized why I hated what I was writing, and decided to basically start all over with a different approach...it's not like I'm starting from scratch completely, but it's a little daunting. I'm so dumb this way. It's embarassing. Every damn time a paper is due, I feel like I happen to be writing about 75% of it the night before. A habit going back to about grade 5, and this is my fourth year of uni. Anyway. I had to share my problem, AA style, to someone.
I sense I am making typing errors, let alone being all non-sequitory with this very post, which doesn't bode well for the paper (I am not one to function well on lack of sleep, and I am obviously a snotty little whiner to boot.) Yuck.
any procrastination cures? I understand the psychology behind it- irrational fear, rooted in arrogant perfectionism, leading to irrational avoidance of the problem, until having to face it, only to basically screw myself out of the amount of time I ought to put into it, and thus continue delusions of perfectionism, with the built in self-esteem maintaining defense of 'well, if I only TRIED a little, I would have done fine'...anyway.
Etc. Sometimes I pull it off, but this has been a decidedly disapointing B+ semester, so...I dunno my point. Relics of a Catholic childhood I suppose. Confess and ye shall be saved.
Or else complain about it to hilariously continue procrastinating. Ok, essay break over!



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