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Thread: boyfriend delimma

  1. #1
    Member Val's Avatar
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    Default boyfriend delimma

    I have been dating my bf for 6 months. I am strongly attracted to someone else- to the point I know I want to be sexual with the other man. I don't want to hurt my bf.
    I told # 2 about #1 and that I would not cheat on him b/c I don't want #2 to think I would ever do that should we get together.We are definitely into each other.
    I know this isn't a stripper question, but I have been reading the other posts and respect your opinions. Thanks

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    Featured Member echomadison's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend delimma

    Dump #1 before you end up hurting him...prolonging the inevitable is just going to make for bad feelings in the end. But before you do, think long and hard whether you want to dump a b/f of 6 months for someone "you are into"... I mean come on, its not like just because you are dating someone you turn off all physical attraction to members of the opposite sex. You could also just not put yourself in the situation around #2 where things could happen, if you dont trust yourself eleviate the problem by staying away. Good fucks come and go, good men are harder to find.

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    Senior Member CheetahTim's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend delimma

    As a guy, if I were the #1, I'd want you to be honest with me and spill the beans. It's going to hurt him but probably not as much as if he finds out you lied to him.

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    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend delimma

    Do you really want to be with number one. If you do than you need to loose contact with number two. If you really do not care about being in a relationship right now with number one. Please dump him. THis will be better for the both of you! He dose not need charity love. Goodness it's only been six months. It is not like you been togethier for years. It's not like your married. You are only dating not planning to get married.
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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend delimma

    Tell your boyfriend you want to see other people, then.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: boyfriend delimma

    Yes, you will have to tell #1 about everything ... make no bones ... ask him first hypothetically that what if .... what if you were seeing someone else ...how would he feel .. then tell him that reality is sterner stuff and numero uno better face it squarely ... Remember everyone would get hurt badly if you still have clandestine relationship with #2...tell #1 that you are not the woman in his life ... that had been an infatuation, just a fling ....

    Best of luck!

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    Veteran Member sent_from_heaven11's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend delimma

    You have to tell #1. Do you want to be with #2 more than #1. Sometimes you feelings change for someone. Just let #1 know that you want to see other people. It is unhealty to cheat in a realtionship. It means that you are looking for something that is lacking in your current. Only you know how you feel, just break if off with #1 before he gets hurt more.

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    Member Val's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend delimma

    When is it a good time to do this? He is out of work now.
    Also I am still doing soul searching. How do you know? I don't really see a future with him. He seems unmotivated. But he really hasn't done anything wrong.

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    Senior Member CheetahTim's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend delimma

    Honesty is everything. Just sit him down and tell him.

  10. #10
    Featured Member xbloodydewdropx's Avatar
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    Default Re: boyfriend delimma

    Quote Originally Posted by Val View Post
    When is it a good time to do this? He is out of work now.
    Also I am still doing soul searching. How do you know? I don't really see a future with him. He seems unmotivated. But he really hasn't done anything wrong.
    i agree with Tim, just to tell him. it's never a "good time." it's your responsibility to tell him the truth and be straight with him....that's being a decent person. after that, he is on his own. most people just want to know what's going on with their partners. of course, some prefer to not face reality, but a great majority would rather have the truth than evasiveness (sp?) or cheating. that way he can move on with his life, and you with yours.

    he's probably picking up on things...knowing things are not right, and this is causing him stress.

    soul-search for a bit if you think you need to...but when you're sure, then be respectful of him and yourself.

    good luck.
    "Seeing the landscape at this superficial level only captures its boring uniformity, not allowing you to immerse yourself in the spirit of the place; for that you must stop at least several days."

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