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Thread: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    ok, not many things irritate me, but this does.

    i just saw a blog posted about a magazine that caters to heavier women. which is great! however i hate when this sentence (or variation of) is ever said...

    "are you a REAL woman"

    I don't know why, but it really bugs me that if your a small woman, you are not considered "real"

    I will probably never be a large woman, I am small, and always have been. I have small bones, so I don't think it's really possible for me to be much bigger than say a 5 or 6 (I'm about a 3/4 now). I don't try to be small, I just "am".

    So am I not "real"??





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    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Not everyone is blessed enough to be thin or small boned. When you're a big woman, I think they say this just to make themselves feel better.

    Of course you're real.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    It's just marketing. I don't really care for it either, but they don't care if they annoy us because we are not their target market.

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    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    This is just like when one of my bigger friends tells me I look like I really need to eat a hamburger. It pisses me off. I can't go around telling people " Hey fatso, but down the fork." I want to just about pull my hair out when I hear things like this. And it's like isn't 60% of the US population overwight? So that makes me the minority, don't try to offend me because you are the normal one, and it's not my fault normal is now fat.
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Fawn View Post
    I can't go around telling people " Hey fatso, but down the fork."

    Ha ha ha....my favorite line when someone blatantly insults my small stature is "Nobody forced that Twinkie in your mouth babe!"

    My highest weight ever was 125. That was with eating and drinking whatever I wanted and no exercise. I am always going to be small. My body likes to be tiny and I actually have to eat up to be a size 3.

    To the OP, you ARE a real woman...just a real small woman. And last I checked, we come in all shapes and sizes.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Yeah, life is hard when you are a naturally small boned, slender woman. That is a disadvantaged group. There should be protection in Human Rights Codes for that. I'll bet you're both pretty as well. Must be rough.

    Okay, now that I'm done making fun of y'all, doesn't seem clear that they are juxtaposing themself as "real women" with "media conceptions of women" as opposed to "thin women"? Do you really think you are their comparator group?
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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    I'm a former fattie (200lbsish).

    You real feel invisible when you are that weight. HUGE people get noticed, fit people get noticed, but you are hiding in your clothes and constantly pulling your shirt down to make sure you're not muffin topping. Your jeans don't fit right because you forced yourself into a size 14 so you wouldn't have to shop at the fat girl store. The clothing made for fatties is ugly. No style and no way to show off any sort of sexy you have. You want to get a little attention, because god damnit, you're a human too (and why let those huge boobs and juicy booty go to waste?) So they are appealing to that woman...trying to give you clothing that makes you feel like a "real woman." Not necessarily excluding anyone.

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Yeah, life is hard when you are a naturally small boned, slender woman. That is a disadvantaged group. There should be protection in Human Rights Codes for that. I'll bet you're both pretty as well. Must be rough.
    actually, growing up, yes it was very hard. it was and still is "pc" to make fun of the skinny girl.

    I was called every name in the book...frog legs, totem pole, president of the itty bitty titty commitee, anorexic, bulimic..it goes on. And this was a DAILY occurance. i had no shape to my body, no waist, no hips, no boobs.

    it really did hurt my feelings. i HATED being accused of being anorexic. I ate like a PIG to try to gain weight. My freshmen year in high school I was about 5'4 or so and weighed 60lbs. I could eat most people under the table...but I could NOT gain weight. I got accused MANY times of puking because of the amount of food I could put away.

    I am now a healthy weight I think..probably about 120-125 and i'm 5'6...but STILL I get the "omg, you're sooooo skinny" thing...almost like it's bad of me and I'm trying to be thin.

    The problem I have with the "real woman" thing, is that it's not only companies saying this...I've seen very large women saying "but I'm a REAL woman" or "how would you like a REAL woman"...in other words saying that those of us that aren't bigger, are not "real".





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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    i know this is an older thread, but it hits a nerve with me. i get the "nah i like REAL women" comments from customers all the time. there's a commercial out right now that says something like "stick thin figures, or real womanly bodies?". i know it's supposed to be anti "waif" imagery, but it winds up being anti woman. real women come in all shapes. HEALTHY women come in all shapes. i'm naturaly thin. i always have been. i eat like crazy and my max weight (which i'm at right now) is 120. what people don't realize is that negative media about any image eventualy leaks into the public mindset. more and more customers are regerditating this idea from the media that all skinny women are anorexic and have issues with their weight. a rude "you need to eat something" is something customers feel fine saying. i was teased all through my life for being skinny. i used to eat fatty foods till i would feel sick in order to try and gain weight. when i was younger i used to look in the mirror and cry because i wanted to be bigger. i don't appreciate the "whatever, you skinny girls have it so easy" attitude from other women.

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    i know this is an older thread, but it hits a nerve with me.
    lol, silly, i just posted this today!





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    Senior Member nekosmeow's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    hmmmmm are you an immaginary woman? and do you have to count your age in immaginary numbers?
    hehe
    Last edited by nekosmeow; 11-27-2006 at 04:07 PM. Reason: cant spell for anything
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by sassysummer View Post
    actually, growing up, yes it was very hard. it was and still is "pc" to make fun of the skinny girl.

    I was called every name in the book...frog legs, totem pole, president of the itty bitty titty commitee, anorexic, bulimic..it goes on. And this was a DAILY occurance. i had no shape to my body, no waist, no hips, no boobs.

    it really did hurt my feelings. i HATED being accused of being anorexic. I ate like a PIG to try to gain weight. My freshmen year in high school I was about 5'4 or so and weighed 60lbs. I could eat most people under the table...but I could NOT gain weight. I got accused MANY times of puking because of the amount of food I could put away.

    I am now a healthy weight I think..probably about 120-125 and i'm 5'6...but STILL I get the "omg, you're sooooo skinny" thing...almost like it's bad of me and I'm trying to be thin.

    The problem I have with the "real woman" thing, is that it's not only companies saying this...I've seen very large women saying "but I'm a REAL woman" or "how would you like a REAL woman"...in other words saying that those of us that aren't bigger, are not "real".
    Sassy, I could have written this myself. I remember moving to NJ in sophomore year and being weighed. Almost 5 feet tall and 66 lbs.

    Hell, 9 months pregnant with both of my girls, I was only 105 lbs!

    Those names hurt and I have to wonder if being teased like that eventually led to me being a big old groupie slut, a stripper, and getting breast implants.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by sassysummer View Post
    The problem I have with the "real woman" thing, is that it's not only companies saying this...I've seen very large women saying "but I'm a REAL woman" or "how would you like a REAL woman"...in other words saying that those of us that aren't bigger, are not "real".
    So what though? If it makes them feel better about themselves, let them have it.

    I don't know what you're getting so worked up over, Beanpole.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by sassysummer View Post
    actually, growing up, yes it was very hard. it was and still is "pc" to make fun of the skinny girl.
    That's because being called "skinny" isn't considered an insult and being called "fat" is. That is just a fact, not an aesthetic difference.

    it really did hurt my feelings. i HATED being accused of being anorexic. I ate like a PIG to try to gain weight. My freshmen year in high school I was about 5'4 or so and weighed 60lbs. I could eat most people under the table...but I could NOT gain weight. I got accused MANY times of puking because of the amount of food I could put away.
    Okay - honey. Read that again. 5'4" and 60 pounds? That give you a BMI of 10. Medically you are emaciated at 15. And for everyone about to tell me that BMI is not a good measure - it's tricky at high levels, not levels this low. People don't have BMI's of 10 because of a lot of muscle mass. That's why they have BMI's of 27. And you seriously wonder why people accused you of puking - they were worried about you. I've been to clinics with anorexia wings and not met anyone that thin. I've seen girls that could barely move that weighed more than you. That is really, really skinny. I'm a little bit shocked that your doctor did not have you hospitalized. I just called a pal of mine in med school and he said that any doctor HE knows would have had you hospitalized until they figured out why you were that emaciated - actually he suspects you may be exaggerating a little, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. So congratulations on living, and while it was not nice for people to call someone so apparently ill names, references to anorexia were well founded and probably not unkindly meant.

    I am now a healthy weight I think..probably about 120-125 and i'm 5'6...but STILL I get the "omg, you're sooooo skinny" thing...
    Yes. And that's horribly insulting I know. Very similar to people staring in horror at you when you eat, laughing at you and calling you a fat pig. Like come on. Let's not be silly about this.

    The problem I have with the "real woman" thing, is that it's not only companies saying this...I've seen very large women saying "but I'm a REAL woman" or "how would you like a REAL woman"...in other words saying that those of us that aren't bigger, are not "real".
    Again, I would suspect that they are not juxtaposing themselves with you, but with a media construction. If they are juxtaposing themselves with you - well, I disapprove of using other people to feel good about yourself. They shouldn't do that. However think about that the next time you positively compare yourself with a fat woman.
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    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    I've been acused of being anorexic by both everyday people, and at many doctors offices whenever I'd go in for a checkup. For most of junior high and high school every time I went to a doc and explained that I was not anorexic or buliemic they'd request to run tests on my thyroid, iron levels, keytones, etc. That is humiliating for a pre teen and teenaged girl. Not to mention scary and painful.
    Southern men really seem to like a thicker woman too. I have been with friends many times where a guy would outright tell me that I'd " be lookin' good if I good gain a little weight, you know, somthing to hold on to." That always hurts my feelings, yet it's perfectly ok to make fun of skinny people and not fat people.

    The ad should say things about how women come in all shapes and sizes, and how each of us is beautiful, instead of trying to alienate or ostrasizing any group.
    " Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan

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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by sassysummer View Post
    lol, silly, i just posted this today!
    o. i think i read the date of a different thread before posting.

    *sigh*

    goddamn it.

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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Fawn View Post
    I've been acused of being anorexic by both everyday people, and at many doctors offices whenever I'd go in for a checkup. For most of junior high and high school every time I went to a doc and explained that I was not anorexic or buliemic they'd request to run tests on my thyroid, iron levels, keytones, etc. That is humiliating for a pre teen and teenaged girl. Not to mention scary and painful.
    Yeah, and God forbid you have to pee after lunch...the teachers would follow me into the bathroom to make sure I wan't puking.

    And there is nothing wrong with being called skinny when it's said right. If it's said in a derogatory manner it's the same thing as calling an overweight person fattie.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by DylanAngel View Post
    Yeah, and God forbid you have to pee after lunch...the teachers would follow me into the bathroom to make sure I wan't puking.

    And there is nothing wrong with being called skinny when it's said right. If it's said in a derogatory manner it's the same thing as calling an overweight person fattie.
    I would say that in this case, being called too skinny wasn't an insult, but a genuine concern. If you really were anorexic/bulemic, you'd probably deny it too. They were just trying to make sure you were okay.

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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Fawn View Post
    I have been with friends many times where a guy would outright tell me that I'd " be lookin' good if I good gain a little weight, you know, somthing to hold on to." That always hurts my feelings, yet it's perfectly ok to make fun of skinny people and not fat people.
    where did you get this idea? For every time a guy tells you that you would look better with more weight, a fat girl is hearing the opposite...but many more times. And it's definitely "okay" to make fun of fat people in our culture.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fawn View Post
    The ad should say things about how women come in all shapes and sizes, and how each of us is beautiful, instead of trying to alienate or ostrasizing any group.
    I think so too, but this isn't Dove trying to sell to all women. This is Lane Bryant trying to sell to fat chicks. Like I said, they don't care if they offend you because you're not buying their clothing.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    i don't appreciate the "whatever, you skinny girls have it so easy" attitude from other women.
    Same here. While I'm not exactly a beanpole anymore, I certainly am much thinner than the average american woman and I am smaller than a whole lot of chics at work. I was really skinny as a young girl and I got the same crap about it as you girls describe. Beanpole, frog legs, skinny minnie, bag o' bones, etc etc etc. I heard that shit just as much as the fat girl got called fattie. I have ALWAYS eaten alot dammit. Being made fun of because you're "skinny" is just as bad as the other way around. It's just that the fatties like to think their problems are worse/more important/more deserving Whatever. I am JUST as real and deserving as any fatass So shut the f*ck up cuz you're dribbling cream filling, bitch


    As far as the argument that it's just marketing, I don't buy it. I think the marketers are catering to what the fatties WANT to (and already do) think. The fat chics are ALWAYS talking about how THEY're the real ones, and how they don't wanna starve to look like us, etc etc. WTF makes them think we're starving? That we don't eat 4 double cheeseburgers and supersize fries every hour?? Please.

    Oh and Emily. You don't represent fatties hun. You got off your ass and did something about it, and NOW look at you. A damn hottie. The fatties of which we speak are the ones who sit back with their double-stuff cookies telling themselves they're normal and making fun of 'skinny' girls.
    Last edited by Bridgette; 11-27-2006 at 04:55 PM.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post
    Being made fun of because you're "skinny" is just as bad as the other way around. It's just that the fatties like to think their problems are worse/more important/more deserving Whatever.
    I find it interesting that the people that have never been fat know what it's like to be teased for being fat. You don't know, so you can't compare the feelings.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post
    It's just that the fatties like to think their problems are worse/more important/more deserving Whatever. I am JUST as real and deserving as any fatass So shut the f*ck up cuz you're dribbling cream filling, bitch
    And speaking of understanding, and all women being beautiful and coming in different shapes and sizes, and embracing all women.
    Seriously. Is anyone truly going to say that the above is no more hurtful than being called "skinny minnie"?
    Puhleaze.
    Take it at a baseline and compare
    Skinny:Fat
    Now really. Is anyone going honestly tell me that they are equally pejorative? I've never heard, myself, a "your mama is so skinny" joke.
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    I'm a former fattie (200lbsish).

    You real feel invisible when you are that weight. HUGE people get noticed, fit people get noticed, but you are hiding in your clothes and constantly pulling your shirt down to make sure you're not muffin topping. Your jeans don't fit right because you forced yourself into a size 14 so you wouldn't have to shop at the fat girl store. The clothing made for fatties is ugly. No style and no way to show off any sort of sexy you have. You want to get a little attention, because god damnit, you're a human too (and why let those huge boobs and juicy booty go to waste?) So they are appealing to that woman...trying to give you clothing that makes you feel like a "real woman."
    Wow. Hi, close to home... front window to be exact.

    nothing like people knowing you're a Comic Book Fan 4 miles away cause you're wearing a big xxl t-shirt for it. I just wasn't that person, tho I do believe I wasn't horrible looking, it was depressing because I didn't want to BE that person.

    I'm not trashing overweight people here, some people look better that way, and it's the truth, what I am saying, is if you look like something you're not happy with and you perpetrate that existence, it's very disheartening. Marketing like this preys on similar emotions to rally these people together to say "Hey! We're people too! That the hell?!" against what they assume is hatred these people have for the model America....
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    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    Um.... what about "your mama is so skinny she can houla hoop with a cheerio

    Your mama is so skinny she had to run around the shower to get wet.

    your mama i sso skinny she swallowed a peanut m&m and looked 6 months preagnant.

    Your mama's so skinny you can save her from drowning by tossing her a cheerio?
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    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Re: apparently I'm not a "real" woman

    I've heard plenty o fthose growing up, there are plenty of hurtfull jokes about people o fany size
    " Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan

    " If you're young and sexy, why not spend a few years
    Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper

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