Hi all,
Not sure how much this has to do with stripping, but tell you the truth, I'd just love some stripperly advice regardless, it's the best hands down!
So I take my clothes off for money, sure it's only been 4 months, but that's what I do, 3 days per week and occasionally more (4 or 5). The money is fantastic, the boost to my confidence in myself physically, in my ability to communicate,in new situations etc has been immeasurable, and the very fact of the financial security I now enjoy has been a tremendous encouragement.
I started this while I'm still at school- College, a course to get myself into Uni with, I dropped out of school when I was 16, so now 7 years later this is what it's all been building toward.
However I still have huge confidence issues regarding my academic abilities. I'm smart (sorry don't mean to be really up on myself) and I know if I apply myself I can do what I want. I set out on my merry way, and as soon as I get close to realising a goal I seem to...go limp, or slack and just lazy and my motivation goes. Then because I'm slacking, I fall behind, and ultimately use that as my excuse and then drop again, etc...
I don't know why I do this to myself?! I feel like I have such issues about being a drop out, (my family are hugely academic, and if you don't go to uni it's like 'well what good ARE you?') That I feel like it doesn't matter if I try because I won't reach it...
Self fulfilling prophecies! I keep getting myself into this situation lose motivation then get down and believe I can't do it then drop out, and I seem to be at that fight or flight position again.
Am I just lazy or not as clever as I give myself credit for? And How can I be SO SO confident at work and have these bonuses and the freedom to pursue my education without working 60 hours a week to feed myself and still be letting myself down at the ONE TIME it REALLY REALLY counts???? WHy when I'm just about to get where I want to be am I so scared to go ahead? I'm so nervous to even submit my uni application because I believe I will be rejected, and if I don't knuckle down on my course my marks will get worse, I'll fail and then that will be it, yet everyday I seem to be doing exactly the opposite!
I'm going to get in touch with my lecturer/course leader and discuss these concerns and see what options I have, because if I drop another course and have to begin again I know that this will be the last time.
Love to y'all xxx Thanks so much for reading this nonsense!



) and I know if I apply myself I can do what I want. I set out on my merry way, and as soon as I get close to realising a goal I seem to...go limp, or slack and just lazy and my motivation goes. Then because I'm slacking, I fall behind, and ultimately use that as my excuse and then drop again, etc... 
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