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Thread: Asking for a loan from family...

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Asking for a loan from family...

    ARGH!! I asked another online community this and they totally bashed me saying I was 'lying to the family about my sex work for a loan'. Um, no, I was telling them I did the waitressing and modeling and promotional work, just leaving out the fact to my IN LAWS that I stick things in my pussy for money! I mean, really...

    Anyway...

    I want to ask Michael's father for a loan, but I want to do it in a professional manner. I want to have a letter and a loan amount along with a reasonable interest rate proposed on it, along with a % he is to take from Michael's pay each time to fund the loan, along with a proposed monthly payment from me, as well.

    I can't include pay stubs (I have them though) because they state what I do. I have some saying I danced at x place and some saying I was paid at x place. I say I do waitressing but it's hard to explain a $105 for 2 hours waitressing on a pay stub.

    So I figured I could just include my bank statement, right? And the father already has records of Michael's pay.

    What should I include still keeping my secret and how should the letter be addressed and written and still look professional and well-planned?

    I don't want it to seem I have no interest in paying him back and am being greedy.


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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Bank statements should be good, maybe offer him a personal check he can cash after a certain date like those check cashing places do. Do you have anything of value such as a car you could offer part of the title to as well, or something like that.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Quote Originally Posted by sc0101 View Post
    Bank statements should be good, maybe offer him a personal check he can cash after a certain date like those check cashing places do. Do you have anything of value such as a car you could offer part of the title to as well, or something like that.
    Nope. All my money has gone into immigration. My most expensive things I own are my engagement ring and my television. I'll gladly give him the television, but he can have my ring when I'm dead!

    And that cash check thing is probably not a bad idea. I need to get a checking account.


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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Yeah it would show you're pretty serious in wanting to pay him back and you arn't just going to jet.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Quote Originally Posted by sc0101 View Post
    Yeah it would show you're pretty serious in wanting to pay him back and you arn't just going to jet.
    Except he knows where I live and pays Michael.. so it's not like I can just up and leave with his money. Haha. But I still want to make the proposal look organized.


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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Well you could always just leave Michael, right? You could get around the check thing as well but I think it would look more professional/meaningful.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Quote Originally Posted by sc0101 View Post
    Well you could always just leave Michael, right? You could get around the check thing as well but I think it would look more professional/meaningful.
    Y'know it makes me feel more secure in my relationship knowing that this thought never occurred to me. For some reason 'leaving Michael' didn't seem like something I could do for the money in any situation. I completely understand why SOMEONE ELSE would think that of me, really... but it makes me feel good knowing that I didn't even think someone else could think that of me. As it just seems logical in my mind. Me + Michael.


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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Quote Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan View Post
    Y'know it makes me feel more secure in my relationship knowing that this thought never occurred to me. For some reason 'leaving Michael' didn't seem like something I could do for the money in any situation. I completely understand why SOMEONE ELSE would think that of me, really... but it makes me feel good knowing that I didn't even think someone else could think that of me. As it just seems logical in my mind. Me + Michael.

    I wasn't implying you would, that's great you're secure in your relationship. I was just suggesting how it would seem to someone else maybe. Not everyone knows how concrete you really feel, only you can know that.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Quote Originally Posted by sc0101 View Post
    I wasn't implying you would, that's great you're secure in your relationship. I was just suggesting how it would seem to someone else maybe. Not everyone knows how concrete you really feel, only you can know that.
    No, I was agreeing with you how someone else could see that, entirely. I completely see how getting 8 grand and running off would be plausible to someone else.

    I was just saying I was happy the thought didn't occur to ME.


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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Ah got ya, my mistake.

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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Yeah. Bank statements. Proposed interest rate and payment schedule (see www.bankrate.com for loan calculators). I wouldn't write a letter, just get stuff together and sit down and talk to him.



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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Personally (and I used to work writing propsals to investors for money) when I borrowed money from my inlaws (this moving to Aus thing is hard lol, something happened to our accounts and we couldnt access them here, so arrived back in Aus with NOTHING) they wouldnt let us draw up any papers.

    I WANTED a 4 way contract between us and BOTH of them for the money, plus a payback scheme and interest rate. I wanted 4 signatures so that if I DID skip the country (Not that I had ever been planning too, but from thier POV, we had only been together 2 years at the stage) they had security.

    My MIL instead wrote a cheque to CASH for 10k!!!!

    And wanted a 10k cash cheque back!

    Now they are trying to pay for our wedding in Jan - I wish *I* had money to throw around!

  13. #13
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    They will loose respect for you if you ask for cash.. I personally wouldn't do that. Just work your little ass off until you have what you need.

  14. #14
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    plus, them not knowing what you do for work totally when you ask them for a loan will give them a GOOD REASON to find out. It is their money they are loaning and they would have a right to know how well you can pay them back.

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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    yes, because obviously I didn't think to work before asking for a loan. My idea was to just take their money and stop working. Of course.


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  16. #16
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Quote Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan View Post
    yes, because obviously I didn't think to work before asking for a loan. My idea was to just take their money and stop working. Of course.

    Well instead of thinking, TRY DOING.
    You are a dancer, DANCE.

    Sick of the sarcasm. You put yourself in these situations, we are giving advice.

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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Remember theres more than just interest and the cloud of having to pay them back one day over your head when you borrow from family.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Quote Originally Posted by tampafldancer View Post
    Well instead of thinking, TRY DOING.
    You are a dancer, DANCE.

    Sick of the sarcasm. You put yourself in these situations, we are giving advice.
    She is DOING. She is DANCING. What more can she do? Plus you have to remember that due to her current state of affairs with Aust. Immigration she cannot go for a loan in any "normal" way.

    She didn't "put" herself in this situation as she is doing everything she can do become a citizen..... and Aust. Immigration is just like dealing with the gov't under any banner/matter... frustrating.

    Whilst I always try to avoid having any money transactions with family as I have and continue to see how just not positive these things can be .... it might be her only choice if she cannot save enough from working.

    I say cross that bridge when you need to cross that bridge. For now see if you can save up enough.


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    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    fuck.. do what you gotta do to get the cash without asking for favors.

    Im a no bullshit kind of person though.


    If she had to she could come back to the USA for a couple of weeks and dance and EASILY earn the cash. No doubt. You always have options.

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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    ^ Ok...pay a couple grand for a plane ticket back to make double now to pay for a plane ticket back to Australia...to pay for everything else. Wasted money, if you ask me.

    I think it wouldn't be an issue if your boyfriend was paid what he should be paid.

    I would have a really hard time asking the boyfriend's parents for money. Let your boyfriend do it himself.

  21. #21
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    from what i understand(read in a previoud post) she made good money in cali.

    3 weeks at at least 500 a night. 21 nights, hell there is your 10.5 k minus 2k for expenses. You can live with your mom again for the time period.

    Heck.. stay a month and you will be way ahead of the game


    Ok. yes its hard. DOable? yes

    I understand that would be the hard route. I just don't think you should be the one asking for the loan. I agree with other posters that your guy should be the one(if it is TRUELY your only option) and why the hell hasn't he already?

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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    [QUOTE][/plus, them not knowing what you do for work totally when you ask them for a loan will give them a GOOD REASON to find out. It is their money they are loaning and they would have a right to know how well you can pay them back.
    QUOTE]

    agreed. I certainly wouldn't loan someone money without knowing exactly what they do and how much they make.

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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    We talked with the family and my partner is now being paid what he's owed. He makes $750 a week now... but that's still not nearly enough.

    I am ALREADY working as much as I can. I've extended my hours by FIVE for being on-call. I have an okay savings but EVEN AFTER INCOME AND EXPENSES AND SAVING I STILL NEED THE LOAN.

    Otherwise I wouldn't ask for it.

    I've been working a lot already. I picked up Vanessa's shows last night AND I managed to charge another $250 (total throughout the night) for extras.

    I'm doing what I can.


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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess View Post
    ^ Ok...pay a couple grand for a plane ticket back to make double now to pay for a plane ticket back to Australia...to pay for everything else. Wasted money, if you ask me.

    I think it wouldn't be an issue if your boyfriend was paid what he should be paid.

    I would have a really hard time asking the boyfriend's parents for money. Let your boyfriend do it himself.
    We're planning on asking together, but I'm better at explaining things so I can do it.

    And on the knowing what I do thing..

    They know I waitress and cater.. which I do and can show proof of... they don't know I do it topless or naked nor do they know I do shows... but they know I make a lot.


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    Default Re: Asking for a loan from family...

    Can he apply for a bankloan or a credit card himself, since he's an AU resident?

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