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Thread: Shawn get out of my head!!!!!!!!

  1. #1
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    Default Shawn get out of my head!!!!!!!!

    I had a little dream of this fool last night...and ever since then I cant stop thinking.How come of all the guys I dated,and even the one I married,Shawn was the one who really made me happy (before he started on the drugs and went nuts). I never laughed like he made me laugh, I never felt safer, I never was kissed like he kissed me, I never felt a lot of things until him. I thought in the start of our relationship we were unbreakable.Like I was on top of the world. How come the one fucker I really loved more than anybody in my life,the one who I would have killed for, the one who actually made me feel beautiful,the one who promised never to hurt me, was the one to fuck up and hurt me?? Ive been with a lot of guys, and always found flaws from the start. I would look for something in other relationships that I would use to get out of the relationship if i met someone else. With Shawn I was content.I didnt even LOOK at another man.I wanted him. He was smart,sexy,amazing,perfect. Now he's a piece of shit.
    Now this asshole took my heart and stomped all over it and I have his child. This man I loved with all my heart is the same man that I want out of my life.Why couldnt it have been some other fuck that I didnt give a damn about be the one to start using crack? Why the hell was a drug better than me?? Could I have done something different or better? I hate him,but why can't I stop thinking about those good times we did have? Got a letter from him a few days ago,at my old address.Says he loves me and hes sorry and wishes he could take back all the hurt.He should have been there for me through all the shit I was going through, not making it worse.He promised. fu*k!

    On another note, he gave me a beautiful child. I guess I can be somewhat thankful to him.Other than that hes SOL.

    Thanks for reading.

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shawn get out of my head!!!!!!!!

    I have the same problems, only with reversed genders. Every day I think about her. I wonder why the booze was more important than I was. Did I do enough? An empty seat next to me in the vehicle. "Oh! Look at that!" but she isn't there to share with it.

    Next comes the harder part - she has been to AA. She doesn't drink every day. Can I trust her?

    She is hanging out with another man though she says he's "just a friend." Why does he get the good girl I helped to be by enduring all the rehab BS, detoxes, and watching her being arrested? I do all the work and he gets the prize.

    At least you got a child. I have only memories. Yea. I am kinda bitter.

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    Default Re: Shawn get out of my head!!!!!!!!

    i did forget him until zaia was born,then all these emotions came back.It would be easier if i didnt have his child to forget him. but shes looking more like him everyday. guess it just takes time,and more looking at the crap i went through rather than the good times.

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    Default Re: Shawn get out of my head!!!!!!!!

    I will help you this Xiomara.

    From here on out... because you are reading this very slowly...

    whenever you think of shawn, you will think of this, smile, and think of Mast.

    http://juneauempire.com/entertainmen.../13439_200.jpg
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: Shawn get out of my head!!!!!!!!

    Guys promise all sorts of shit and this one didnt follow through. You have to move on for you and your child. Do what is best now. No, there is nothing you could have done differently except get away from him sooner. When people are on drugs you are dealing with the drugs not them. It takes over people and makes them shells of their former selves.

    I understand why he cant leave your head for god sakes you hold your child everyday. Leaving him behind to be a good mother to your children and making good choices for yourself and them will only be good for you. Of course this process takes time.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shawn get out of my head!!!!!!!!

    Maybe because we always want what we cannot have? Who knows. I had a situation like that (well, sort of) with a guy who was an alcoholic. I still have little pangs every now and then wondering what he's doing but I still don't want him back. time heals and you'll get over it.

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Shawn get out of my head!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by FrustratedBunny View Post
    Maybe because we always want what we cannot have? Who knows. I had a situation like that (well, sort of) with a guy who was an alcoholic. I still have little pangs every now and then wondering what he's doing but I still don't want him back. time heals and you'll get over it.

    We want what was taken away from us by drugs and alcohol. The ravings and lunacy from these things are not the norm for these people. They are kind and sweet hearts... until the drug gets into them.

    Nah, we want our best friend back. The one we knew before the mind altering shit got into the mix.

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    Default Re: Shawn get out of my head!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Deogol View Post
    We want what was taken away from us by drugs and alcohol. The ravings and lunacy from these things are not the norm for these people. They are kind and sweet hearts... until the drug gets into them.

    Nah, we want our best friend back. The one we knew before the mind altering shit got into the mix.


    YESSSSSS.

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    Default Re: Shawn get out of my head!!!!!!!!

    thanks everybody gotta feed baby but ill reply more later

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