Im so mad at myself and i shall explain...
Ive been dancing near on 6 yrs now and my current club im at ive been at for a year, ive worked my way up through the ranks and now look after all the girls in the club, head girl (but i still dance).
The other night i had to talk to this one girl who broke 3 rules in one night, did drugs, smuggled wine in and then let a custy touch her up (our licence doesn't allow it). Anyways this girl really got to me and had blatent disrespect for the club and the girls who work there but i cant sack her (not being management) and our current manager doesn't have a set of balls to call his own and cant handle the girls so turned a blind eye, which made me even more mad!!!
The next night in work was same old same old, she was doing drugs etc and i got really pissed with her. I ended up getting completely drunk (which i dont do as i drive to work) and had a "f**k the club attitude", i didnt want to work, i didnt want to dance and was just in the mindsight of continuing to get drunk. Management wouldnt let me go home. I did a few dances for this customer with my smiley happy face on and he asked me out, as always i declined politely but then he tried to kiss me as he stood up from his dance, lord knows why i did it but i kissed him back for like 5 seconds, turned around and there she was...the drug girl!! Now she's telling everyone that i kissed this custy and telling everyone Im a hypocrite coz ive had words with her for breaking the rules. She's right!!
In my years of dancing ive never done anything like that and im so ashamed of myself. I know if i hdnt of been drunk then i wouldnt have done it but its no excuse and i cant stop beating myself up about it. I dont know what to do...




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