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Thread: Denied even before approaching

  1. #26
    Featured Member Kabukicho's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    ^^^^
    In complete agreement.


    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess View Post
    Like a sultan in a harem. I really think guys do it to get the false perception of "one upping" a dancer.

    [/COLOR]

    Yup. I've come across so many assholes that like to think they can take the opportunity to bring us down a bit, because in the real world they would never get the chance to turn down a hot girl.

  2. #27
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess View Post

    And, BTW...this is STRIPPING GENERAL. While I know you think your comments are in good faith...this was a DANCER asking other DANCERS what they do in this situaiton...and not asking a CUSTOMER POV...which is why this thread is HERE and not in CUSTOMER CONVERSATION.

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!! This is exactly what I was *trying* to get at (though it was late, and I was tired.

    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    Quote Originally Posted by Tater Salad View Post
    I'm not one that will disrespect the dancers when they approach. But with all due respect, we aren't all rich. Many times I will be asked to go with a friend who doesn't want to go by himself.

    I am married with a 3 year old and a 1 month old. I shouldn't be going to strip clubs, I can't afford them. When my friend BEGS me to go, he will pay my way in and give me money for either 1 or 2 dances. Meanwhile, he will spend alot on dances and VIP.

    So there I sit, with my $50. Carefully choosing who I want to get a dance from. Meanwhile, (happened last time) the same dancer will approach me 6 times with the "wanna dance" approach. She wasn't remotely attractive to me, so I politely said "no thanks".

    So while my friend is getting dances left and right, I sit there with my $50. Once it's gone, it's gone. What should I do? It is pretty cold here in Michigan, so I could go sit in the truck till he's done but I would get frostbite during his VIP's. If I sit there and watch the "free" show, then I will be considered rude for paying to get in and watching the free stage show. Last time I checked the stage show was free. I don't sit next to the stage. The majority of the time I sit clear in the back. I guess I will just stare at the floor and not sneak a peek at the free show.
    Yea, that's like that time I had barely any money but I went to this restraunt that I couldn't really afford anyways and didn't tip the waitress... she gets a paycheck anyways, right? (That was completely sarcastic, BTW)

    I have never seen a club that said it had "free" stage shows. But, just tip them for the shows and then leave or hide in the back of the bar and explain that you have absolutely no money. Either way... that's not what's being discussed here.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    This thread is about being waved off right??? In response to the guys comments, the fact of it is, a wave off is never OK, I don't care if she has wannadanced the customer 75 times. You could say no thanks I'm all set for the night, or I'm waiting for someone else. That is our job. Nobody said we didn't understand why guys didn't want dances or weren't ready for dances. I have no way of knowing which guy is going to get a dance unless I ask. On a busy night, I have no way of knowing who just got there or what. If you don't want to be bothered by dancers, then why are you in a bar with dancers????? If you want to chat with your friends, then fine thats OK, we DO understand. That can simply stated to the dancer politely, rather than rudely waving her off before they open their mouth.
    CARMEN IS HOTT 4 A BLACK CHICK!!!!!!!!

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    Why does he have a headset on his head, like Janet Jackson or some shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    why does Janet Jackson have a headset on her head?!

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  6. #30
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    I tell them that I wasn't asking them for a dance and that they should be happy attractive women are walking up to him because it wouldn't happen at a normal bar.

    Then i may say something like,"Oh that must be why you are here then, to try and get back at women who want nothing to do with you." Laugh and walk away.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    The last time this happened to me I walk up to the guy and he looks at me before I even say a word and says No Thanks, shaking his head and waving me away! So I lean in and say "Well that's a damn shame, I was coming over here to tell you how cute I thought you were and to see if you'de like to go have a drink sometime...but you're so rude, I doubt I could handle even 3 mintues alone with you!" Buh bye!


    This isn't about if it's okay for guys to say no....and it's not about tipping it's not about ANY of that...so get off the soap box....It's about being waved off like an irritating bug at OUR place of work...doing what we do gfor WORK...blah. It IS rude and I will certainly tell a guy so.




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  9. #32
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    Quote Originally Posted by sxybrat07 View Post
    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!! This is exactly what I was *trying* to get at (though it was late, and I was tired.

    I agreed, but thought that was best left up to a moderator to say

  10. #33
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    Hey Tater Salad. Here's a couple ideas:

    Sit at the stage and tip a few girls with your $50. You can tip them $1 at a time - just don't try to direct them or ask them "is that it?"

    Better yet, STAY HOME. We don't need guys like you in the clubs. You drain more out of us than you are worth. So just let your friend the big spender go by himself. He obviously doesn't need your company anway, since he spends so much time with the girls. Problem solved.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    Quote Originally Posted by Tater Salad View Post
    I am married with a 3 year old and a 1 month old. I shouldn't be going to strip clubs, I can't afford them. When my friend BEGS me to go, he will pay my way in and give me money for either 1 or 2 dances. Meanwhile, he will spend alot on dances and VIP.
    my first thought.. you shouldnt be there? dont be then. bridgette, i totally agree!


    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post
    Better yet, STAY HOME. We don't need guys like you in the clubs. You drain more out of us than you are worth. So just let your friend the big spender go by himself. He obviously doesn't need your company anway, since he spends so much time with the girls. Problem solved.

  12. #35
    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    It;s a sign that girls are just walking around saying , "want a dance, want a dance" and this guy has probably had a couple of them allready and been asked about 100 more times and is just sick of it. I work in a big club, this happens too, fuck them. The guys who do that are just amatuers, that's all. And they're probably poor and have little winkies too.

  13. #36
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    ^^Agreed on the poor and little winkies thing

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  14. #37
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    i used to work in a very overstaffed club where lots of guys got pestered to death. so, yeah, i've been waved off once or twice. my routine is:

    1) i stand right in front of him, stamp my foot and whine, "but i didn't even get to ask you yet." *pouty face*
    2) the guy will look at me like a kid caught in a cookie jar and say, "oh... uh...".
    3) i lean toward him, push out my boobs out, give a dazzling smile & say, "would you like a dance?".

    he'll say, "no thanks". i'll keep smiling, shrug and say, "ok. maybe i'll stop by later". i go on my merry way.

    was he an asshat to do what he did? yes.
    is it worth throwing away a potential dance for? no.

    there are plenty of other guys out there that will do way ruder things. the 'Waver Offer' is pretty far down on a list that includes 'On a Cellphone at the Tip Rail', 'Licking During a Dance' and 'Asking Me to Fetch A Dancer'.

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  16. #38
    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    The only place it realy happened to me was in Vegas, because the clubs have so many dancers that are super-hustlers. I'd imagine it wears the guys out to be approached so much.

    It happened a few times in New Orleans too on really busy nights.

    Manners. What are those?
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

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  17. #39
    Veteran Member sensuality's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    This happens quite often at my club, and it is definately not just because they have been approached by x amount of girls already. It is very rude. Especially when I really wasn't going to ask them for a dance.
    I usaully tell them," I actually promised my friend over there that I would come back soon, so I'm headed over to chat with him right now. I just saw you sitting here all alone and I didn't want you to feel ignored." I try not to be a bitch about it, even though most of the time I want to smack them for assuming things.
    With all the stupid things guys will say, stay cool.

    "Her apartment is littered with soggy G-strings and cheap 8-inch heeled shoes, along with empty tubes of body glitter, mascara, prescription drugs, zit cream, Aqua Net and Polaroid pictures of her and her "friends" engaged in some drinking and dancing on St. Patrick's Day last year. " My God....

  18. #40
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    [quote=Phil-W;898363]



    Your objective in working is to earn money - and I freely conceed that. Ditto the fact that you're blowing off steam in this section. However, some of the responses suggested are positively guarenteed to ensure that they'll not get a dance from that customer for the rest of the night - and very probably on ensuing visits as well. Just as you remember rude customers, they'll tend to remember sarcastic dancers.


    Phil.[/quote

    I get customers like that all the time who either turn their head when I walk by, or wave me off. The wave off was especially common in Vegas. Part of it comes from guys being CONSTANTLY approached by dancers, and some of it from just arrogant chauvinist bastard males.

    Phil, In the Dancer Wealth seminar we were actually taught to not make a scene with customers or be sarcastic, just say thank you and walk away. The reason being is that other customers see our rude behavior and guys that would buy from us could be turned off by seeing us be so abrasive.

    Of course when working in a club with that kind of rudeness occurring constanly, it gets under your skin fast. That is why it's Vegas no more for me.

  19. #41
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post
    . If, for example, you see a group of guys deep in conversation and paying no interest in anything except each other, maybe they don't want to be approached at that time?
    Phil.

    This is true. I totally agree that there is no excuse for waving a dancer off before she has even approached.However, dancers need to have the common sense not to interrupt a guy who's obvioulsy deeply engrossed in conversation with his friends. It might just not be the right moment. I've seen girls barge into conversations or sit on laps of men who clearly just walked in and then get pissy if they dont get a dance. There is no excuse for rudeness but if YOU SEE that the time isn't quite right, Just come back.

  20. #42
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post
    Hey Tater Salad. Here's a couple ideas:

    Sit at the stage and tip a few girls with your $50. You can tip them $1 at a time - just don't try to direct them or ask them "is that it?"

    Better yet, STAY HOME. We don't need guys like you in the clubs. You drain more out of us than you are worth. So just let your friend the big spender go by himself. He obviously doesn't need your company anway, since he spends so much time with the girls. Problem solved.
    Thanks for the input. I will try stage tipping $50. That would last awhile if tipping $1 per song. Smart!

    My friend will not go by himself. Must be some kind of thing for him. Doesn't want you girls to think he doesn't have any friends or something. I will ask him for more money next time. He's making a habit of going once a month. This is in the wrong topic though. that's my bad.

    Guys who shoo away dancers before they approach are gay.

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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    I pretty much agree with the other girls and i hate when this happens. I usually just walk right past as well

    One thing that I have noticed however is that often when guys wave you off like that, its actually because they are too shy and/or intimidated by you to get dances - the concept of having a half naked chick on your lap that otherwise wouldnt look at you twice scares them, even if they wont admit it. Which then leads me to believe that the "waving off" is done because they are too embarassed about it to answer politely. Many custies are, after all, not the types who usually hang around good-looking girls

    As a funny sidenote, a male friend recently told me he enjoyed going to clubs but was terrified of getting a lapdance in fear of not being able to control his little guy

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    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    There are a billion reasons why a customer would wave a girl off. I don't care. At first glance, we can't be anything more than merchandise in a store that customers eyeball from a distance. If you see something at Walmart you know don't want, you pass on it. If you think you could possibly want the item, you inspect it before putting it in your cart. The Guys in there are potential patrons of YOUR store. They have a right to pass on it, just from a first impression.

    Sales are often quite impersonal. I have found that the guy who waves me off is as unimportant to me as I am to him. So the hapless mannerless Tom/Dick/Harry that waves me away is seen for EXACTLY what he is and I move on to the best of my abilities.

    If I am PMS'ing I sometimes stick my tongue out at them or look at them like they are crazy. It happens to us all.
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

  23. #45
    Senior Member bite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    Agreed that this usually happens when the other dancers are wanna-dancing. If I'm in a good mood, I'll take it as a sign that nobody's been sitting or chatting with this guy and he feels like he's being circled by vultures - in this circumstance, side-stepping his rudeness and sitting with him for a while will cheer him up because a) you get to talk a little and pitch your sale properly and b) you're blocking all the annoying wanna-dance girls he's fed up with.

    If I'm in a bad mood though they get a response somewhere between gentle dissing and a full-on harpie-style tirade of rage. If there are several of these wankers in the club at once, it's always nice to blow off all your anger on one of them so that you can deal with the others with a clean slate

  24. #46
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    on a similar note last night i noticed that this guy had been staring at me all night. he hadnt really been tipping anyone on stage but i figured what the hell and gave it a shot.

    i walk up to him and say hi and the first thing HE says is "do you want a table dance?", i replied "are you going to give me one?". he says "no, i dont want a dance, i dont pay for what i can get for free". (keeping in mind that i havent even asked him if he wants a dance). my reply with a dazzling smile... "that's funny, what the fuck are you doing HERE then?" jerk....

    of course he was one of the moderately attractive guys that always think they should get hot girls for free... please, youre not that cute.

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  26. #47
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    ^ i bet he thought it was hillarious too.

    one day one of those "funny" guys is going to get my first in their eye after having dealt with a million of them.

  27. #48
    Senior Member MeganR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    I'd prefer a "Yes, I'll have ten dances, please" to being waived off immediately. But I'd prefer being waived off immediately to having to sit there and chat for five minutes before getting a "no thank you." The guy who waives me off is at least saving me time.

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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    Well, I will never walk off if a client did that because most guys they say no for various reasons and If I sit down and talk for some time I end up getting a dance. No can mean Yes : Maybe later can really mean that, I think just being polite and checking later is good and it works 50% in comparison to being rude and stomping of. Persistence is key in your scenario. For example I have some customers who say that they are waiting for someone&I tackle it in different forms :
    Custie : Sorry but I am waiting for someone
    Me : Whats my name?/Perfect I was feeling slightly lesbian, we can make it a threesome/a big handsome man like you? I am sure you can manage. (And this time I had a customer who was waiting for a dancer who was way hotter than me and I was standing up for 10minutes just convincing him that I would dye my hair and do all this stuff and then it will be the same, in a joking and cokey way. He moved from I am waiting for someone to I prefer blondes to are you gonna take a seat. But then I had time to waste cause it was early anf he was the only custie in VIP

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    Default Re: Denied even before approaching

    Their are two main thins that guys like. A good personality and good looks and I think if a guy rejects you before you even talk its reason to sit down and talk(when this happens to me I tend exxagerate everything cause I kinda like the challenge.

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