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Thread: some body image stuff (possible rant)

  1. #1
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default some body image stuff (possible rant)

    blah. im feeling crappy.

    i'm wondering how many girls here are comfortable with their body? how many of you look in the mirror and are genuinely happy with how you look?

    i'm kinda hoping that anyone who is happy with their body image could give me some advice on how to just accept myself as i am and stop comparing myself to others and criticizing myself and beating myself up over my weight. because i've been trying for years and i just can't do it.

    sometimes i feel happy and attractive. other times, i can't pull myself away from staring in the mirror and pulling my hips and poking my stomach and hating myself and thinking how much better life would be if i was born without goddamn curves.

    to those of you that are entirely happy with how you look, how much time and effort do you put into your body? be honest. how strict are you with eating, how much time do you spend in the gym, how much discipline does it require?

    occasionally i get motivated and go on a health kick, and i eat so well and work out like crazy and start seeing results. and then something will happen that throws me off. i'll go out for lunch with one of my naturally tiny, petite, thin friends who haven't worked out for a second of their lives, and watch them eat mcdonalds and drink coke while i have a salad and a bottle of water, and then i get disheartened because it's just not fair that some girls have everything i could possibly want without even having to work for it. and what's the point, it doesn't matter how much i starve myself and work out, they're still going to look better than i do. and then i give up.

    i need some advice on how to stay positive and motivated, or at least how to accept myself the way that i am. i am tall and i have an ass and hips, because that's how i am. but rather than accepting it, i hate myself for it. i drive myself so deep into self-loathing about it that sometimes i can't leave the house because i'm so scared that people will look at me and call me "fat". i waste hours almost every day looking at my reflection and imagining how much better i'd look if my hips were smaller.

    has anyone gone through a similar thing, and found a way to get past it? eh, i guess i really just need advice.

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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    Boy...I'd swear you were reading my mind. You and I are totally in the same boat.

    Don't worry though, hon. You're super beautiful, and I happen to like your curves!

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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    Other people have told me that they love my curves, and I love them, too... for the most part. But sometimes I'll do some belly/thigh poking in front of the mirror. I think every woman does. And it's not goddamn fair that I have hypothyroidism, which causes me to gain like crazy if I'm not careful. I see beautiful trim ladies eating french fries and I want to brain them.

    It helped me to realize that I will never be a tiny girl. And aside from that, my personality doesn't fit a tiny girl frame. But my body is wonderful. It will serve me well for many years. I have arms that hold enough love for my whole family, legs that let me chase after my cousins, and a stomach that can be a good pillow for my fiance when he's sick. Sure, I don't look like the girls in magazines; even they don't look like their pictures. But I am beautiful and curvy and those curves are mine and mine alone.

    Too often, women think that sex appeal is about legs or ass or breasts. Very little of one's sensuality is tied up in body parts. It's the woman as a whole and how she feels and carries herself that makes all the difference. Unfortunately, in this society, we are taught to pick ourselves apart, as we would a cooked chicken (legs, beasts). We take ourselves outside of our bodies and we rip them apart, never appreciating what they do for us. It's not the body parts that make us attractive, it's living in that body and being happy with that body that makes us attractive.

    I go to the gym because I want to be strong and healthy for years to come. I can never be a tiny girl or a skinny girl. I will forever be a girl who watches what she eats in order to stay healthy and I know that. But I can love the body I have and live in it, rather than outside of it, picking it apart.

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    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    I know exactly how you feel Darcy! We are our own worst critic, and it doesn't make it any better when some guy feels the need to point out our flaws. I try to work out everyday for at least an hour, sometimes two. I watch what I eat carefully, sometimes obsessively. I obsess over calorie content, fat content and count carbs meticulously. I will admitt I probably fit the criteria for eating disorder. But I do follow a super strict diet when I decide to do Figure Shows competitively. Just the other night a guy tells my girlfriend when we were working, that my outfit made me look fat, but once I was naked I looked fine. I took this hard as I only weigh 116lbs! Yeah I have hips, but for fuck sakes, now I have hardly eaten a thing since Friday because I am all worried that I look fat. It was such a mind-fuck!We all have body image issues and they are hard enough to deal with on our own. I don't know how we can get over it and accept ourselves, when we are always looking for approval from other people. Okay, my rants over....

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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    I am pretty much always happy with how my body looks. I work 3-4 nights a week and work out in the gym about 2-3 times a week. I eat mostly good stuff, but I do have my junk food days. I am not a nazi about fitness, but I enjoy exercising and seeing the results from it.

    I'm not perfect in the least, but I am satisfied with what I have. My body is one of my best assets and always has been. I got lucky with genetics, but I don't take anything for granted. And I don't sit and pick myself apart. Sure, I have some cellulite on my legs and a little stubborn fat that won't go away off my sides, but overall I wouldn't trade my body for anyone else's. And if I ever suffer from low self-esteem bodywise I get my butt in the gym and go on a health kick for a couple of weeks. That sends me right back to where I want to be. The benefits of exercise cannot be overemphasized. I don't think I'd feel the way I do if it weren't for working out.
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    Featured Member LilSweetVixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    I can't believe YOU are having body image issues. Look at your pics! That means no matter what size you are you could have these issues in the future. You could be the size of the people you like and still have these issues. What are you getting out of it?
    Last edited by LilSweetVixen; 12-03-2006 at 02:32 PM.

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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    if it's not your weight, you'll find something else. it's retarded, but it's how we're wired.

    i used to get neurotic about one of my eye folds being more 'foldy' than the other. so dumb. till i saw that 'buffy the vampire slayer' has one eye slightly more foldy, and she's a fox.

    when you realise that you could dedicate your whole life to caning yourself - you'll realise you can't win and just accept it. ironic and all.

    we're all curious little animals. it's kinda nice. just tell yourself "i'm a cash magnet" and put the rest out of your head. (seems to work for me)

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    Veteran Member lexXe's Avatar
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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    First of all I must say you are absolutely beautiful!!!

    Body image is something I constantly battle with. Even if I eat well and work out religiously I am never 100% satisfied. I love how I look but I am always thinking of ways to improve my form because improvements have always resulted in more money.

    I think its hard when you body= your income.

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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    Darcy - you certainly are not alone. Lots of women have this dysmorphic view of themselves. I have been through anorexia, exercise bullemia, laxative dependency, just to name a few...

    I am not sure that I will ever be satisfied with my body, but I strive to be content. Your body is your machine. It is strong and healthy and beautiful. Yeah, you have curves, and you know what, that's because you're a woman! You're supposed to. And ask any man walking down the street if he is bothered by a woman with breasts and hips?

    Really, it's insane that we worry about this stuff!! You have got to stop comparing yourself to other women. You are YOU! And realize that a lot of women would KILL to look like YOU

    I work out a lot, and that's what keeps me in line. My body is fit, lean, and strong. I feel empowered by that. I eat healthy and clean to keep my body performing its best, and the result is a physical appearance that I can live with I will admit that I am a control freak when it comes to MY life, so doing this helps me feel peace and satisfaction. I am actually training for my first figure competition in a few months, which also helps me feel accomplished.

    Darcy, I wish you the best with this. You're beautiful - don't let society and pop culture beat you down like this. If I can help, pm me

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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    It's you (your mind), not your body.

    I'm perfectly happy with my bod, knowing full well that it isn;t close to perfect or universally ideal. Which is weird, because I have so many neuroses...but body isn;t one of them.

    If your body image is healthy, with the way you look, you;d be OK. Which means you do have a body image prob, in my opinion anyways.

    Don't know what to recommend but therapy?

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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    Darcy I checked out your website and u r a hot, gorgeous lady and that's why men drool over u when u dance!!
    I agree with one of the other posts that no matter what size or body fat percentage u r, if u have those body concerns it doesn't matter what u look like u will always put yourself down.

    I am generally happy with my body, I have the odd day where I am not but generally I am. I do exercise 3-4 times a week but I also have very unhealthy food habits - I have been bulimic for about 5 years now. Bulimia is not all about weight etc its more complicated than that but there have been times where I threw up everything I ate in a day or abused laxatives to the point where I could not even go to the toilet anymore until I took laxatives. Yes I am skinny and some people might think I am therefore happy but does this behaviour sound like something u would want to do? I hope not coz its a horrible way to live. At the moment I have given up abusing laxatives through fear that I will permanently damage myself.
    I wish I could be normal about food even if that meant weighing more.

    Try to be happy with yourself Darcy, there would be so many girls out there who would kill to look like you.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    Try this:
    make up your mind not to. I realize that sounds like "pull up your bootstraps and feel good about yourself already" but that is not what I mean. Do not - just do not allow yourself to dwell on the bad moments. Just breathe, move past it. If "dwelling" is to general, at least do not facilitate the dwelling. Do not sit in the front of the mirror, for example, looking at the things you feel bad about it. Go, call someone, watch TV, post on SW. On the other hand, feel free to dwell when you feel good. When you catch yourself making unfavourable comparisons, just move on (nothing to see here).
    Just decide right now that you will feel good regardless of your body type and go with it. I'm not going to act like it is the easiest thing to do, but you can choose not to facilitate the mechanisms that feed it.
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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Darcy Foxx View Post
    i need some advice on how to stay positive and motivated, or at least how to accept myself the way that i am. i am tall and i have an ass and hips, because that's how i am. but rather than accepting it, i hate myself for it. i drive myself so deep into self-loathing about it that sometimes i can't leave the house because i'm so scared that people will look at me and call me "fat". i waste hours almost every day looking at my reflection and imagining how much better i'd look if my hips were smaller.

    has anyone gone through a similar thing, and found a way to get past it? eh, i guess i really just need advice.

    Oh sweety, I feel your pain. I am 6' tall, have popped out a kiddo and have the hips to show for it (I had them before the baby too, but a bit less). I have big boobs and the frame to fit them. I AM A BIG WOMAN. But I am not fat (I work out four days a week and eat well, lots of muscle)...and neither are you sweety. We are built the way we were suppoed to be. We fit. So, look at your shoulders, if your hips were smaller, then your shoulders would need to be smaller, if your shoulders were smaller, your arms would need to be shorter, keep on going until you turn into a 5'2" little petite girl...which we are not.

    And I can promise you that at some point that 5'2" little petite girl has wanted to be a tall sexy amazon like us.

    I do the same thing you do....I stare at my hips.... stare.... poke.... pull.... push... wishing..... But then I HAVE to remember to take in my whole body! I have a fantastic, sexy, curvy, womanly body that guys drool over, and my friends would pay for.

    You're not alone in feeling like this, all woman do it at some point, but trust me on this, you are drop dead amazingly hot BECAUSE of the way you look!

    ***BIG HUGS***




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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    i'm wondering how many girls here are comfortable with their body? how many of you look in the mirror and are genuinely happy with how you look?
    Why do you think plastic surgery is so popular in this modern day and age. It is totally utterly "normal" to pick yourself apart as women, as sad as this is to realise.

    Find your good points and celebrate them each and every day until you finally GET IT. Basically, that is what I do.

    I'm not happy with my weight per say as I like to be 47 kgs and I'm currently 50-52kgs however that is only because I'm a little sad/lightly depressed... I'll loose it once I get over my current hurdle (my cat). I also wish I had bigger breasts and a more toned body however ... I've come to accept my small perky boobs as a gift... yet the toned body I realise is something I must do and invest time/energy into in order to for it to come to fruition.

    You need to change your self-talk. Whenever you catch yourself having a negative comment about yourself... STOP IT RIGHT THERE... and replace it with something positive. Replace it by going over your "I'm the best! I rock because..." list even if it includes intanglibles like "I'm the best! I rock because I have the best sense of humour!"


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  15. #15
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    well, i joined a gym today. i suppose that's step one in feeling better.

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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    I know you don't see it but you're gorgeous. Drop dead. I've def. looked at your pictures before and thought 'I wish I looked like that, my life would be so much easier if I were that pretty'

    Don't feel too bad, most girls have some form of a body image disorder. I don't know if it's as bad in Aus. as the US, but here the obsession with thinness and perfection is out of control. I admit I don't eat as much as I would like to because I am terrified of getting fat, and even more terrified of someone else thinking I look fat. It' s a combo of the media putting insane expectations on women, the buisness you're in, and the feeling that you have to compete (for lack of a better word) with other women.

    I mean Everyday we are bombarded with images of perfect looking people so of course we are going to feel like shit about ourselves when even the people in the Ad's, movies, magazines don't really look like that.
    I know after I look at US weekly or any other magazine I instantly feel bad about the way I look.
    I only have two mirrors in my apartment and I only take a bath with candles lit because if I look and think I look fat it will ruin my entire day. I have so many issues with my body and looks it's pathetic.

    I think the best thing you can do is go to the gym. It's so good you got a membership...working out helps with how you feel about your body so much. Eating just a few things a day that are good for you like fruit can help a lot too. Just knowing you're putting something good for you in your body makes you feel healthier.
    Also, try as hard as you can to stay away from magazines and tv shows with impossibly pretty people because it will only make you feel bad about yourself. Even myspace can make you feel like shit because everyone has thier airbrushed, perfect pictures and it that shit will make anyone feel inadequte even though it's an illusion. Just taking a break for a day or two from all things superficial will make you feel better, trust me.

    And listen to everyone here on stripperweb, you are gorgeous even if you don't see it.
    I bet you anything when your older you will look back at pictures of yourself and think ''wow, I was so beautiful, why was I so hard on myself''
    My mom has told me she has done just that and that she wishes she would have known she was pretty when she was young and enjoyed herself and life more instead of wasting so much time worrying about her looks, and not feeling pretty enough.
    I think that a lot of us will do that, but that's the beauty of experience and life I guess...


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    Featured Member Magdalena_666's Avatar
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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    P.S- Men do not find stick skinny girls attractive. Very few anyway. I would say 90% of men would pick Dita Von Teese' body over Kate Moss anyday.
    My boyfriend was looking at Dita's book the other day and commented that it was better than porn because it's so rare nowdays to see a beautiful woman with curves embracing it like that.

    There really is nothing sexier than the curves of a womans body.


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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    ^^^
    Without trying to rag on you for trying to be nice, I would suggest that is artificial boosting. Self-esteem isn't a competition and doesn't depend on outside validation or comparison. I would suggest that she concentrate on herself, and not try to found her good feelings in feeling "better" than other people.
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    Featured Member Magdalena_666's Avatar
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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    ^^^
    Without trying to rag on you for trying to be nice, I would suggest that is artificial boosting. Self-esteem isn't a competition and doesn't depend on outside validation or comparison. I would suggest that she concentrate on herself, and not try to found her good feelings in feeling "better" than other people.
    No, you took that wrong. I didn't mean that she should compete with others...what I meant is that a big part of the reason girls are so concerned with thier weight and looks is because as we all know girls dress up for other girls to try and out do each other....it's really horrible and it set's women back, yet so many of us still do compete with eachother everyday in the smallest of ways , and worse yet, we're aware that we're doing it.. It's terrible when a woman judges herself negativly because of her looks but the society we live in tell's us that is the most imporant aspect of ourselves.
    I hate that girls do this. But they do. I think it's why so many girls have these image disorders. Myself included. Girls are VERY hard on other girls when it comes to looks. If anything I think she should ignore that. How many times have you heard a group of girls saying something negative about another woman's apperance?
    Last edited by Magdalena_666; 12-04-2006 at 11:33 PM.


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    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    i waste hours almost every day looking at my reflection and imagining how much better i'd look if my hips were smaller.
    I do the same thing. I hate it. Sometimes I almost want to stay critical of myself so I don't end up a 300 pound whale.

    and BTW, I looked at your pics and you look awesome so you have nothing to worry about. But yeah, we all are critical of ourselves more than anyone else can be. It doesn't matter if 99 people call me attractive. It's that 1 person who doesn't think I am that I will believe.

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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    Darcy, as you probably know I'm the same way. I wish there were a quick fix...I was thinking the other day if there were ever a time in my life when I didn't care about my body. When I was eleven I think. After that, just a tumbling snow ball of body issues that has gotten me to this retarded self-obsessive-loathiing-whateverperson that I am today. And it's just such a waste of time I guess...is my biggest problem. I have dreams where I'm eating pastries, then I wake up and feel awash in this strange guilt...then I realize it's because I was DREAMING about eating. So not even real things make me guilty about fatness. F*&ked up.

    so I'm just reading all these psych books lately, and it's helped. To see it for what it is. And just not indulge those feelings...like babysteps for me include NOT staring in the mirror for any length of time...check for spinach in the teeth and then move on, type of thing. Not weighing myself five times a day. Not getting out the tape measure over and over either...Excercising helps too, except when I see a skinny girl running next to me. When I'm at the gym I stick my ipod earphones in, open a book, and bike/ellipticize away, completely focused on my book and my aching legs. Good things. I remember reading about this woman who, while stilll a little overweight, managed to run a marathon, and then bent down and kissed her thighs in thanks for what they did for her. That's what I'm trying to accomplish for myself.

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    Featured Member sophiemarie's Avatar
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    Arrow Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    I watch what I eat and work-out like a nut case and most times I still feel fat. M BMI is 18.8 for me. I am 5'2 and 103 lbs.
    I perfer to eat organic as well as raw. I only eat cookied food 3 times a week. I drink lots of chicken/veg broth even in the hot summer. That keeps your tummy full and vitamins in your body.

  23. #23
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    [quote=Darcy Foxx;898415]

    to those of you that are entirely happy with how you look, how much time and effort do you put into your body? be honest. how strict are you with eating, how much time do you spend in the gym, how much discipline does it require?

    quote]

    Although I havent always been 100% happy about it, for most of my adult life Im happy with my body and I spent absolutly no time thinking about it or doing anything in particular to make it how it is. When people ask I always say that I go to the beauty school of sheer neglect.

    I know Im lucky with my metabolism and the fact that Ive never even had to think about gaining weight cos it just never happens - But I am a bit of a health freak in that I dont eat much crap anyway (I was raised that way so it requires little thought...) Also I just walk or cycle to places if I need to go anywhere. (Raised that way too...) Ive never liked cars much. I have never gone out of my way to exercise, never even set foot into a gym.

    I try to live without chemicals and shit in my life whether they be what I put on my skin or what I eat, drink and breath or who I hang around and what I do. At most I use organic oil as moisturiser and to remove make-up and just soap or sorbeline and water on my skin. I tend to be a very positive person, have 0 stress in my life, wonderful friends, lots of interests, life is good. I think its meant to be that way! I think it's all relevant to the subject too.

    I really couldnt ever be bothered with having to make the effort to do more in terms of looking after my apperance as there are far more interesting and important things to be doing!!!! I have almost no interest in looking into mirrors, I wasnt given eyes so that I could waste them on looking at myself.

    My core belief is that I am happy to have arms and legs and arms and legs that work - and all the other body parts that Im supposed to have, and it all works fairly well on a general basis. I think the world would be a better place if we all realised that bodies are for getting around and living, not things to be moulded into certain shapes, sizes and shades. Imagine loosing mobility or a body part. You'd look back and realise how lucky you are to have the body you have now. When you eventually get old and decrepid you'll look back and wonder what the hell you were doing when you spent so much time in your younger years bothering about whether people think youre fat or not when you could have just been out having fun.

    What anyone else thinks or says to me or you or anyone else about how we look is both irrelevant and unimportant for a number of reasons. I think Im lucky in that I have never cared for anyone elses opinion when it comes to looks and apperance (or many things ) and thats possibly a reason why I dont have negitive body image problems.

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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    I'm perfectly happy with my bod, knowing full well that it isn't close to perfect or universally ideal. Which is weird, because I have so many neuroses...but body isn't one of them.
    I'm right there with you -- I'm usually perfectly happy with my body, which is why I am baffled when women who, I think, have nicer bodies than me, like Darcy, complain about their looks. I honestly don't know where that comes from.

    Start with some affirmations, like looking at yourself and telling yourself you're hot? I don't know . . . this business can make us harsh on ourselves, but honestly it's made me like my body a lot more.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: some body image stuff (possible rant)

    I'm pretty happy, and I think it's because I used to be kind of fat.

    I remember being unhappy when I was 160lbish, and then getting up to 200. At that weight, I wished I could look as hot as I did as I was 160...and the kicker was that didn't even appreciate it because I was so focused on the negatives.

    So now I'm 140 and yeah, I am finally happy. Not that I don't see room for improvement, but I see positives more than negatives.

    just think 20-30 years from now....you'll wish you look as hot as you do now.

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