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Thread: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

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    I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    Ok, I saw the thread that Susan Wayward made a while back (or I think it was her anyway) where she talked about making donations to charities as gifts for the family. I've never done this, but I absolutely LOVE the idea of doing that with my whole family.

    They set a low limit on what we should spend ($5), and I really don't want to go through the stress of trying to find something that they'll like at that price. I'd probably end up buying something they wouldn't like/want (just like they almost always do for me), and I'd like for the money to serve a better purpose than that.

    I know they sometimes tend to be materialistic when it comes to getting "stuff," though, so I was just wondering how you would feel if you got a certificate saying that your gift money went to a charity.

    I plan on doing it anyway, but I'd hate the weirdness of the whole thing if they felt like they'd been "ripped off" or something (which I know would be horrible for them to do, but I know how my family is).

    Thoughts?

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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    I say it is ok for adults. Especially if they would support the charity themselves. If someone donated to PETA or the Humane Society for me, I'd be stoked. If they donated to some religious thing or something right-wingish, I'd be upset that it happened in my name.

    For kids, I'd say no.

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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    Quote Originally Posted by hardkandee View Post
    I say it is ok for adults. Especially if they would support the charity themselves. If someone donated to PETA or the Humane Society for me, I'd be stoked. If they donated to some religious thing or something right-wingish, I'd be upset that it happened in my name.

    For kids, I'd say no.
    All my family is 18+. The only one who isn't will be getting a regular present- he's only 2!

    It's just for my dad's side of the family that I'm talking about, too...er...the extended family (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc).

    There- now that's cleared up. Maybe it'll make a bit more sense.

    Oh...edit to add this. My grandmother fought a battle with cancer that nearly killed her, so I thought a donation to the American Cancer Society would be good. I think I want to spread it out a bit with some different ones, too (I have 10 or so people to buy for).
    Last edited by Deni; 12-04-2006 at 07:06 PM. Reason: Add info.

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    Veteran Member Vegas_dancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    Well, what can you get someone thats really any good or worthwhile for 5 buck anyway?

    So I think giving it to a charity is a wonderful idea. I would just donate it to the charity they would support themselves. It would be even better if, like, you got a picture of the tree you saved or whatever, and gave them that as the gift.
    Im thinking of how of you donate money to the starving kids in Etheopia(sp?) and they say on the infomercials they will send you a picture of the child you helped feed/clothe/educate.

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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vegas_dancer View Post
    Well, what can you get someone thats really any good or worthwhile for 5 buck anyway?
    Isn't that the truth! It's always the same stuff, too. A candle holder, some lotion from Bath and Body Works or Victoria's Secret...I just want to do something different (and easy!).

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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    It's gonna sound selfish, but that's a lame gift. The person receiving the gift never made the decision to give it, it's really the person "giving" the gift who is giving it and gets the warm fuzzies out of it. The "giftee" just gets to get card saying "hey, I donated some money, and merry Christmas!" and they don't even get to say where it goes.

    It sounds nice and I know the money goes to a good cause, but still...if I'm gonna give money, I'LL give money.

    If you're bent on doing this, maybe you could send them money and then offer to double it if they donate it to charity.

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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    I kinda agree w/ hyde. They won't feel like they got anything from it. Maybe you can donate "charity checks" so they can do the donating themselves. That way, they will feel like the ones doing the good deed. And they're sure to donate to the charity they like best, not what you think they like.

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    Featured Member Magdalena_666's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    Quote Originally Posted by hardkandee View Post
    I say it is ok for adults. Especially if they would support the charity themselves. If someone donated to PETA or the Humane Society for me, I'd be stoked. If they donated to some religious thing or something right-wingish, I'd be upset that it happened in my name.

    For kids, I'd say no.
    I totally agree with HK. If someone donated to an animal org. for me like the house rabbit society, I would be very touched because that is something that is very personal to me and it would show they really put a lot of thought into it and that they cared about the fact that I'm passionate about rabbits.
    I think donating to a chariety as a gift is a wonderful idea, and I actually plan on buying my mom a cute top from the HRS. I know she would appreciate it because we both love rabbits and it's a very thoughtful gift...

    but yea, basically what hard candy said- just make sure you choose the charity based on the person's belifes, and not your's.

    Edit: Just read that your grandmother had cancer so I think that donating to or buying something to support cancer for her is a very good idea, and it also shows her how happy you are that she beat the battle and is alive and well, which would probably make her feel very loved.... I like the idea of donating to charites as a gift because really, don't we all already have way to many material things as it is? Besides it makes you feel good.


    'Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'
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    I believe you Dottie and you have my support






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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    Quote Originally Posted by Magdalena_666 View Post

    Edit: Just read that your grandmother had cancer so I think that donating to or buying something to support cancer for her is a very good idea, and it also shows her how happy you are that she beat the battle and is alive and well, which would probably make her feel very loved.... I like the idea of donating to charites as a gift because really, don't we all already have way to many material things as it is? Besides it makes you feel good.
    That was the main reason I thought of doing this. I know they won't get anything material, but the way I see it there isn't much that I could give them (short of just handing them $5) that they don't already have.

    I will say, though, that it could be my whole attitude toward the holidays this year that is a contributing factor. I don't have anything I want for Christmas, and I'd really rather not even do gifts with them anyway (we don't with my mom's side of the family and I like it SO much better...no stress, no worries). I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to keep something that I get that I don't like/want- I guess I just want to make sure they don't end up with something THEY don't like/want.

    I get tired of them being so greedy when it comes to gift giving (no matter how small the amount is). I don't think they mean to be that way, but that's totally how it feels.

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    Featured Member Magdalena_666's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    Deni,
    I understand where you're coming from. I think the whole christmas gift giving has gotten COMPLETLY out of control. I mean it's just insane how much we as a culture show our love by buying something for someone.
    Okay...I'm totally guilty of this as well...I buy people things..but it's seriously disturbing, and I hope that the worlds headed in a better place as far as material possesions are concerned, and how much worth we put on them.

    I think our society has become a little too unoriginal , and way to easily influnced by products, and the multi-million dollar companies are having a field day off it!
    They have taught us that you can 'buy' someone's love & show them how much they mean to you by spending all your money on them, and I think it actually makes people feel less valueable and empty in the end because anyone with money can buy something...but to give something that money can't buy, like donating money to help find a cure for a disease or saving an animal or person's life...that's the sort of gift that really matters.

    So kudos to you for giving donating money to good causes and giving a gift you believe in. I really think that every little bit counts. 5 dollars add's up if a lot of people donate a little. I think that your family will apprecaite the thought, even if they are a bit upset by not recieving an actual material item at first.

    EDIT: Did the whole PS3 thing really disturb anyone else?? I mean that is what our society has come to and it's fucking sad.


    'Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'
    T.S Eliot

    I believe you Dottie and you have my support






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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    I think it's a great idea.
    I'd be far happier to see money go to a charity on my behalf rather than receive a gift.
    Especially when options are limited by cost, and only for what is now, a shallow tradition.
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    I myself would love if someone donated money to like the SPCA or something similar, I think this is a great idea and I will use it myself. My family isn't really materialistic so it would be good for them.

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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    See...and I'm just making everything this year. I'm so tired of giving stuff that no one wants or uses because its just a waste of money. So, Makayla is getting a new Snow Fairy outfit this year (I'll post pics) and for the grandparents, Makayla will be making some stuff and then I'm making some stuff...

    I'm so tired of going to the store and trying to find stuff for people..especially in this day and age where most of the stuff you buy is cheap junk.

    I like getting things that people made for me...but if someone doesn't feel "creative" enough to make something for me...donating some money to a cause that means something to me is just as nice. Not everyone is like this...but if you have people in your family that would like that...by all means, do it!

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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    Venus, I think they'd like it once they stop for a minute and think about what it means to someone else. It's just going to be that, "What...she didn't get me a REAL present?" kind of reaction at first.

    Or at least I'm hoping that's how it would be...

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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deni View Post
    That was the main reason I thought of doing this. I know they won't get anything material, but the way I see it there isn't much that I could give them (short of just handing them $5) that they don't already have.
    Slight thread hijack, but I thought I'd throw this in there because I would want to know. I've had family members fight, survive, and die from cancer. On those occasions when folks have died, members of the family have always donated to the American Cancer Society as a memorial. Well, I've looked into the ACS quite a bit and I'm disgusted by the organization. I don't believe they care about people with cancer at all. They've been given an efficiency rating of one out of four stars on charitynavigator.com, but even more damning is this article from the Cancer Prevention Coalition: http://www.preventcancer.com/losing/...hy_prevent.htm

    If you want to donate for Xmas I think that is a fine and wonderful thing--just look into the organization you are donating to and don't just assume that since it is a big organization and has to with cancer that it is good, as my family has always done in the past. I shudder to think of all the thousands of dollars my generous family members have handed over to them.

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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    Slight thread hijack, but I thought I'd throw this in there because I would want to know. I've had family members fight, survive, and die from cancer. On those occasions when folks have died, members of the family have always donated to the American Cancer Society as a memorial. Well, I've looked into the ACS quite a bit and I'm disgusted by the organization. I don't believe they care about people with cancer at all. They've been given an efficiency rating of one out of four stars on charitynavigator.com, but even more damning is this article from the Cancer Prevention Coalition: http://www.preventcancer.com/losing/...hy_prevent.htm

    If you want to donate for Xmas I think that is a fine and wonderful thing--just look into the organization you are donating to and don't just assume that since it is a big organization and has to with cancer that it is good, as my family has always done in the past. I shudder to think of all the thousands of dollars my generous family members have handed over to them.
    Hmm...any other suggestions for a cancer related foundation then? I just thought that would be a fitting tribute to her considering the hard battle she fought to overcome it.

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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    ^^^I agree completely. Our family has gone through this as well--most recently my cousin, father of three, lost a nasty battle with melanoma. My family donated an insane amount to the ACS, so I looked into it. I don't mean to be high and mighty or anything. This is just info that *I* would have wanted

    Alternatives:

    Y Me? is a great organization that supports women fighting breast cancer. It gets EXCELLENT reviews on charitynavigator and every other rating authority I have looked into. http://y-me.org

    The Breast Cancer Fund also gets great reviews. Seeing as how most experts agree that breast cancer is a result of western lifestyle and environmental conditions, they focus on education and research pertaining to prevention: http://www.breastcancerfund.org

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    Default Re: I Need Opinions, Please! How Would You Feel?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    Slight thread hijack, but I thought I'd throw this in there because I would want to know. I've had family members fight, survive, and die from cancer. On those occasions when folks have died, members of the family have always donated to the American Cancer Society as a memorial. Well, I've looked into the ACS quite a bit and I'm disgusted by the organization. I don't believe they care about people with cancer at all. They've been given an efficiency rating of one out of four stars on charitynavigator.com, but even more damning is this article from the Cancer Prevention Coalition: http://www.preventcancer.com/losing/...hy_prevent.htm

    If you want to donate for Xmas I think that is a fine and wonderful thing--just look into the organization you are donating to and don't just assume that since it is a big organization and has to with cancer that it is good, as my family has always done in the past. I shudder to think of all the thousands of dollars my generous family members have handed over to them.
    Funny you should mention this, Dottie--my cousin's wife just died of breast cancer--she was 33 years old. Before she died, she set up her own memorial fund with the SPCA. She loved animals, and wanted people to remember more about her than the cancer. My cousin also had some not very nice things to say about the Canadian and American Cancer societies. My take on that is that they get millions of dollars each year--which is plenty. There are so many other charities that need help.

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