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Thread: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

  1. #1
    Featured Member Gemini_Syn's Avatar
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    Default Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    I'm seriously thinking about getting a REAL JOB but still dance now and then. I was offered a flight attendant job but like any other job including dancing, pay sucks when you first start. Its $18 an hour but I'm only garunteed 80 hours a month. Thats less than $1500 a month and I can make that in about 3 days not hustling.

    Here is why I am pretty confused or unsure of what I'm doing. I turn 30 in June and granted club owners think I'm only 20 until I show them my ID, I cant dance forever. I love dancing, I really do BUT I havent accomplished dared to make my dreams come true. I want my own bar/restaraunt and a classy one at that. I am basically sitting on that imaginary line where I can stop (or cut down) dancing and become a more mature and resposible adult OR I can still do the job that I absolutely love.

    Can I possibly still dance for shits and giggles and be a flight attendant or is that taboo? I've heard of other dancers becoming flight attendants but does anyone know a dancer that still dances but is a flight attendant?

    I'm not happy with my life, no where near. Yea I have fun dancing but like I said and we all know it, I cant dance forever. I was thinking of doing the FA/dancing thing for a few years and then do what I really want to do. GO BACK TO SCHOOL!
    I want to go to the Culinary Institute of America, the best culinary school but its pricey and very long. I would have to leave my hubby for long periods of time to do this but it will help me achieve my goal of having my own bar/restaraunt.

    Its 4 am, I'm on codiene again, and I am depressed and confused.

    Can anyone help me figure out what to do? Its really bothering me I havent really done anything with my life, even though I have had a lot of fun.


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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    I'm turning 30 in May. I'm kinda in the same boat, which is why I'm dancing my ass of and saving it for future business opportunities. I'm not sure what they will be, but at least I'll be able to fund it when I find it.

    Are you taking the steps to get your own bar? I know it sounds silly to ask, but in a motivational book I read, it compared goasl to driving. Okay, so you know where you want to go (that's actually a difficult step in itself.) Now how are you going to get there?

    But then I also think of it like this: you have about 30 or so years of working left in your life. Do you want to be doing the same thing all 30 of those years? This is actually my second career. The first was a more professional type one, but it wasn't all that because I didn't really like it. Milk dancing for what it's worth and then make a career change for something you're passionate about. Because if you bust your ass, and the money isn't that great, and you don't absolutely LOVE what you're doing, you'll want to come back to dancing anyway. Don't leave dancing just because you think it's the right thing to do. Do it because you found your passion.

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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    Sometimes "doing something" with your life isn't about stuff thats put on papers. It's about experiences and taking care of yourself. If you have the time and energy to be both a Flight Attendent and a Dancer every once in a while - I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. Good luck!

  4. #4
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    I say save all you can and go to culinary school as soon as possible. Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too? Hell, you can even make it yourself!!! You deserve to achieve your dreams, as long as you're willing to work for it. A FA is a shit job w/ shit pay, imo.

  5. #5
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    First of all, Gemini-syn, you are approaching your "big money" making years as an exotic dancer. Looking hot AND being mature is a big turn on to guys of all ages. I'm 37 and I easily am selling the 21 year olds as well as the 40+ plus crowd too.

    I did (and do still) sometimes have moments of doubt about my career. I feel a little rediculous about being 10+ years older than the rest of the girls in the club. Like I'm trying to resist growing up, or whatever. Then I sit myself down and see things how they really are. When I feel bad about my career choice and how it relates to my age, I can see that I am following the expectations of others.

    Don't pressure yourself to do something (or not do something) because it is what's expected. So what if you like being a stripper in her 30's? Are you happy doing the job? If so, then why screw up a good thing? If you are dissatisfied with the job, then make an exit stradegy. Plan for your retirement from dancing.

    Don't just take a job that you know won't pay the bills. That is a recipie for failure. You'll be back to dancing shortly.

    Hell, I love dancing so much that I am moving forward with buying my own club. F*ck those that say I'm wasting my life. I'm doing exactly what I want. I'm so happy it is kinda sickening.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  6. #6
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    Paris and Emily are right on. I'll be 30 in July and have no intention of retiring anytime soon. I've started putting money away for retirement and investments and thinking of what else I want to do...you know what? I'm happy doing what I'm doing!!!

    For my opinion on the subject of getting old(er) and stripping, read Emily's signature line!!

  7. #7
    Featured Member Gemini_Syn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    Thanks to all of you. Paris, I was wanting my own club but on another forum, I got a lot of flack for saying that. One guy thinks former dancers shouldnt be club owners but I think former dancers would be damn good at it. We know what they want and what works.

    I think I'll be able to do both. The FA job will also help me find new clubs. Since I can fly for free, if I have like 4 days between flights, I can work other clubs. At least thats how I'm thinking now.


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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    Quote Originally Posted by Gemini_Syn View Post
    Thanks to all of you. Paris, I was wanting my own club but on another forum, I got a lot of flack for saying that. One guy thinks former dancers shouldnt be club owners but I think former dancers would be damn good at it. We know what they want and what works.
    .

    who is he and why would you care what he had to say?

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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    Speaking of someone whose shelf life is probably past its expiration date, I say keep on dancing WHILE you're doing something else, if that will make you feel better.

    This way you're gaining experience but you're also keeping a nice income coming in. It's what I do.

    I dance while the real estate market is slow and I feel lucky to be able to do it. And I truly love to do it. Do what you love, no matter what that is. You'll be happier and healthier.

  10. #10
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    Quote Originally Posted by Gemini_Syn View Post
    One guy thinks former dancers shouldnt be club owners but I think former dancers would be damn good at it. We know what they want and what works.
    The beauty part about that statement is that the "traditional" strip club owners (ie: pervy old guys), will never see it coming.

    Like anyone would have thought some nerdy college drop out is now the leader in software and is close to being the wealthiest person on the planet. That is what happens when the "old boys club" stops paying attention while counting their cash!

    Maybe we can work together. I will be selling shares of my club privately. I have several investors already lined up (dancers are in an awesome position to find investors).


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  11. #11
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    Agreed with the other ladies. Take a look at what YOU want out of life, not what society expects. Work toward what YOU want.

    I wouldn't do the FA thing because, yeah, you'll work a whole lot more hours while making a whole lot less money. You could just work a a similar amount of hours in the club and make a whole lot more money, and SAVE that money for your goal of owning your own bar/restaurant. That's what I'd do. I'd see the FA thing as a waste of time.

    Yeah, strippers in their 30s make the most money!!


    Also I don't agree with the dickheads who say strippers shouldn't be managers or clubowners. That just the old boy network talking, with a little bit of anti-stripper mysogyny thrown in. Fuck them. We have more REAL experience dealing with the customers and what they want, AND with the girls than they do. Most managers and owners are so out of touch with what's really going on in the business - it's a large part of the reason the industry is so shitty now. WE are the ones out on the floor, night after night, while the managers and owners sit in their offices counting the money and fleecing us for more. THEY are the ones who prove time and again that they don't know wtf they're doing when it comes to running a club.

    IMO a stripper who educates herself on the business and legal sides of running a club is in a BETTER position than 99% of the egos-needing-to-be-stroked we have running the places today.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    I think you are on the right track with buying a club . And make it happen soon you are in your earning years atm and still young . Meaning if you screw up now you still have a pretty good chance to get back up again and make another choice . To me as you get older ( my age 42 ) you are less likely to hang it all out there because it is definitley harder to recoup all that money if you lose it . Now start driving that car !

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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    Start saving, and start saving NOW. Regardless of whether you want to stick with dancing or pursue something else, having $$$ in the bank will allow you to do that with a lot less trauma and obstacles.

    As for a culinary career, you have to love it as a career, which is different from loving it as a hobby. Some hobbies are meant to stay that- because as a career, it can become untenable. The money involved in the culinary arts can be very pitiful- in the best restaurants in big cities, the wait/bar staff make far more money than the majority of the chefs and kitchen staff. Competition is cutthroat, and for little pay to boot. Wait staff bringing in 2-3x /year more is not an uncommon wage gap. A guy i knew was a line chef at Wolfgang Pucks, and he knew tht the wait staff was easily making twice, if not more. He was making under 20k a year, and that's not uncommon starting wage in the industry. Being on your feet 10+ hours in a very hot, stressful environment day in and day out is very different from loving to cook. If you love to cook- go to a program that teaches you how to cook- like Epicurean in LA (6 month program, once a week, comes highly recommended). If you want to own a business, taking classes in hotel/restaurant management is going to serve you further. If you are serious about cooking as a career, get hired in the kitchen of a restaurant and try it out for 6 months. I'm not trying to bring you down or crush your dreams, but I'm all for being realistic. I've had 8 friends go through culinary programs, only 2 have stayed for the long haul. Believe me, they all love cooking, but it's very different to do so as a career. You may absolutely LOVE being a chef, and you may not care about the pay- in which case, hallelujah. I've been in the restaurant industry throughout my college days, and I considered becoming a professional patissiere. I realized that I LOVE to bake, but I can't cut it as a baker.

    NOW, again, I'm not trying to bring you down. You have to pursue your dreams, but do your research and see the demands of the career realistically. If you can get real-life experience before you plunk down the money for school, it can save you a lot of heartache.

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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    The thirties can definitely be the best time in your dancing career, but it's also the time to keep your eye on the ball. I think people tend to underestimate the amount of time, money, and energy it takes at the start up/entry level phase of building a new business/next career to the point where it can really support you. There's a lot navigation necessary in switching from one world to the other, dancing and working toward your next career simultaneaously will probably be the best way to go.

    The fact that you say you love dancing makes a big difference. Don't quit because you'll be 30 (you'll be laughing at that thought in 10 years) but definitely be taking the steps toward building the next thing that will carry you. It doesn't sound like you're excited about the FA thing, but are just thinking it's something you could do. Talk to as many FA's as you can, talk to as many chefs as you can. Find out the pros and cons of every career/business idea you're interested in. Think of anyone you know that you consider succesful and find out how they did it. This is the time to investigate all the possiblities and also take advantage of what dancing can give you, particularly if you love it.

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    Veteran Member Jenna78's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    Why do you need to go to the CIA? I go to a community college program. One of my instructors went to Johnson & Wales, another to CIA and they are teaching us what they learned there. And I am only paing $80 a credit hour for it.

    As others said culinary careers are generally not huge moneymakers, especially at first. I don't think paying $40,000 for a CIA degree is worth it in the long run. If your town has a decent community college program, you can dance while living with your husband and taking classes. Good Luck!

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    Member OMGHi2U's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning 30 in 6 months and very confused

    I dont understand really. you said you are thinking bout being a flight attentent but you also want to go to culinary school but you dont want to go to school because you will be away from your husband for extended periods of time.

    Well being a FA you will always be away for long periods of time as well and your schedual would be so iffy that you probably would have trouble finding a place to dance.

    Honestly, save your money work your ass off take some online classes GO TO SCHOOL. Your right you cant dance for ever so you either need to have money saved up or something planned for your future.

    Go to school, you will appreciate it better.

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