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Thread: When your regular customer dies...

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    Veteran Member mia_bella's Avatar
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    Default When your regular customer dies...

    So, I have these 2 regulars. I met them together, and they would come in and see me together, and when one was away as he travelled a lot for work, the other would come in on his own and see me. I'd see them at least fortnightly and I'd usually spend at least half my shift with them, even if it was just sitting with them and drinking because I knew that when they were booking shows, it was worth it.

    Then one went away for about 2 months, and all of a sudden, the other guy stopped coming in. I had no idea why he wasn't around anymore and why the one who was away stopped mentioning him, because he was the kind of guy who if he was going to stop coming to see me, he'd say goodbye.

    Finally I saw the guy that had gone away last night, he came in and booked me straight away, for quite a lengthy time, and when we got into the room he was like..."the reason I was so quick to book you is because I felt I had to tell you before you asked...but my friend, he hasn't come in to see you, because he died."

    He was 40 years old, but had a history of heart attacks in the family, and had had one a few years back, but this one happened during the night and he died in his sleep.

    I had no idea how to react. I'm still feeling weird now. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel - I've never known anyone that's died before...and...he was just a customer, but he was one I saw frequently and whom I knew so much about and whom I'd talk to all the time. I feel so weird.

    Has anyone had this happen to one of their customers? I really don't know how I should feel. But I cried when he told me and I've been depressed since. I got so wasted afterwards...it was really bizarre, usually when I'm drunk I'm really giggly and bubbly, but this time I was angry and abusive and eventually wound up crying.

    And I'm sort of in trouble for getting so wasted at work, but I told them that I'd just found out my regular had died...but...I felt stupid telling them that it really upset me...
    www.myspace.com/infinitelymia

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    Veteran Member Smoothcat's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: When your regular customer dies...

    I think the words "I've never known anyone who's died before" speaks volumes. Most of us have known relatives and friends who have died at various ages. It is only not a shock when the person is very old or already very sick. But when it happens before someone's usual "time", it is always harder. It makes us wonder about our own mortality, but also about our own relationships. Who else that we know can leave us so abruptly? Should we get close to strangers at all? It is actually good that this bothers you; it means you have feelings and care about people. It also means you (like all of us) have to deal with mortality. Whenever I've had to face it, I stop to think about what I've done (or not done) in my life that I wish I had changed. Maybe we need a wake-up call like this once in a while to get us to think about all of these things, and value what we have while we can. If there is a God, maybe we can change our ways and get into heaven despite our mistakes.

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    God/dess Mare's Avatar
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    Default Re: When your regular customer dies...

    I guess at least you found out why he wasn't coming. Better than wondering what happened. It will bum you out for awhile. But just be grateful he was a cool person and think about good conversations you had. Soon it will get better and someone else will come along. Your guy wouldn't want you to be too bummed.

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    Senior Member destiny2980's Avatar
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    Default Re: When your regular customer dies...

    I think its perfectly normal to feel the way you are about what happened. I have custys that see me often and there is sortof a friendship there and you truly do care about them even though its just buisness. Your human and your a woman we get emotionally attached sometimes. I would give yourself a little time to be upset about this.

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    Default Re: When your regular customer dies...

    I wonder if this customer I had something happened to him. He would come in the club a lot and then out of nowhere, nobody has seen him since the last time he was in when we hung out. I've asked the floormen and they haven't seen him, I also asked the other dancer that hung out with him and nobody has seen him, I wonder if the same thing happened to him. He was very overweight, I wonder if he had a heart attack too!

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    Member Louise's Avatar
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    Default Re: When your regular customer dies...

    I had that happen to me about a year ago... it's horrible, and saddening, but people die, and that's life. You just have to be thankful for the fact that you got to know them and that you might have made a part of their life that much happier.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: When your regular customer dies...

    i once went to a reg's funeral.. that was bizarre. i actually only went to console another dancer who was totally broken up by this death. but, it was totally odd, knowing that i was never goign to dance for him again. i have wondered since then what would happen if a reg died, and i didn't find out about it... i'd wonder forever. at least you were able to gain some closure on this regular-relationship, instead of wondering why he stopped coming.

    Love it!

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