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Thread: I cannot motivate myself

  1. #1
    Tart
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    Default I cannot motivate myself

    i am beyond unmotivated. I have to work today, and I really need the money. For fucks sake xmas i still need another grand and then add in 1200 in bills left this month


    While I have plenty of time to make that ... I dont even want to leave my apt. I am not depressed, so im stumped. Ive worked 4 days since I came back from vacation. I dont mind being there once I get to work,its the getting there that is driving me insane.

    And when im there I just dont seem or am approachable. I have NO idea whats going on or how to fix it.

    Im wondering if I should just suck it up and go with it. Or take a break and dance somewhere else in another state on my days off ?

    I think im hitting that point , as I do about every 3-6 months where how good I have it at home, makes me realize all the stupid shit I put up with at work and it bothers me.

    infact it sickens me.

    I cannot put up with another mother fucker , asking me " what will you do for 20 bucks" ...or " do 4 dances for 60, no one will know "

    Or better yet " will i cum "

    dude get a LIFE you pathetic reject! I hate cheap ass customers but I rather you just be cheap rather than a lowlife and bargain shop and haggle.

    my god!

    last night some guys said all of the above and haggled me. Another was complaining yet sitting there all fucking night drinking. He says to me " is this it..why is this place so bad "

    I said you can either make the best of it and have a good time or you can fucking leave. and i walked off

    From now on , im just going to do that...walk off. because wasting my time isnt working.

    i wish there was an incredible cure for this but i dont think there is other than time off.

    Just a rant.

  2. #2
    Featured Member dangerousdiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    I know what you mean! I'm going through the same thing right now. It's hard to get motivated when you need the money and Xmas time is slower.

    However, last night it was easy. Right when I got there some drunk dayshift girl approaches me an says she's been drinking with these guys all day and they want to do a VIP hour for $100. I say no way ( it's $400 min) she's like, "are you new come on would you rather sit here doing nothing or make money". I say politely, I'm not new but I'm used to getting $ 400 or more for an hour. So I walk off and do some $20 dances for some other guy. Crowd is super annoying cuz they are just there to watch football. Then I hear myself get paged to the VIP I go in and one of the guys is waiting for me. Huh? The dumb girl is already in there dancing for the other guy and she winks at me.

    I keep my cool and get my money up front end up doing 30-40 min for $400 and getiing a $200 tip on top. Guy was so wasted he had to quit early, not grabby or anything. I had only been there one hour and made $600! What a dumb bitch, she sat there getting wasted all ay and then just sold hereself for 100$ and gave me $600.

    Ended up having an awesome night by just keeping my cool and walking away, nicely if they were annoying. Thank God, cuz this weekend totally sucked and it was really hard to go in yesterday.

    Anyway, trying to get motivated to do it tonight so this is what I am telling myself force yourself to stay in good mood and if annoying situations present themselves (which is inevidable, unfortunatly) just remain cool and remove yourself ASAP, without biting back. It keeps you in a good mood and then money will hopefully just start to happen.

    Good Luck!

  3. #3
    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    Shit, Tart. I wish I knew what to tell you. I am at the same point. My tolerance for the bullshit ebbs and flows, but has been slowly decreasing since I started dancing 8 years ago. When I was 18, 19, 20, a guys could say just about anything to me and I'd brush it off and stick around to take all his money. Nowadays I'm like, "What was that, you piece of shit?"

    I wish I could go back to playing the ditz, pretending not to care. I can turn it on for short spurts. Like you, once I get in, I can probably do it. It's that anticipation of having to deal with it all that gets me all worked up and I end up saying, "Fuck it--maybe tomorrow."

  4. #4
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    I get tired of the harder to sell guys too, but times have changed and more guys have become more arrogant and demanding. The problem is that certain crowds are harder to sell than others, and it is our natural instinct to get upset and discouraged.

    I will accept the 4 dances for $60 though because nowadays with guys being tighter with money, we have to become more numb to their sexual bullshit and be more creative to make money. I have one guy who comes in a club I book at once a month, who always buys 3 dances for $50. I would rather have his $50 than nothing. I also have some guys who will let me keep the change, and one guy who comes in 3 times a week and buys 2 dances. Some guys will tip on stage but not buy dances. Our money comes in all different ways.

    Tart, you really have to just look at this as a cold calling sales job, and stay focused on selling.

    I work a lot and get frustrated with these guys too, but a lot of the problem is that the clubs are not being run in a fun way, where guys go to kick it for a bit, relax, buy dances and tip on stage. This business is too serious, and the owners are much to blame.

    You don't want to get broke because you are upset about what the guys say to you. Maybe try writing down all the rebuttals guys give you every night after you get off work, and then spend the next day figuring ways to counteract their rebuttals and get them to buy dances. Remember that you have to build rapport with guys to mget them to spend money. Losing your temper won't open their wallets. if a guy is too arrogant, just walk away.

    Are you experimenting with different clubs? Every club doesn't have the same energy for every dancer.

  5. #5
    Featured Member dangerousdiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    I hate hearing "will I cum"!
    It is also very very hard to tolerate that shit after having consecutive good nights and then going to, "How much for..."
    Grrr!
    But, like Dotti mentioned just play dumb and it makes it easier to stay in a mood to find that one guy that will make your night.
    However, I never bargain, I don't refuse $20 floor dances (some girls do!)but I am always trying to up sell to VIP and never for anything less that what the club charges.
    Bargainingg just perpetuates more haggling and BS and most of the time the guy has the cash anyways and is just playing a game.

    Just play dumb, when they try their annoying redundant shit. Stay in a good mood!

  6. #6
    Veteran Member Scout's Avatar
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Tart View Post
    Or better yet " will i cum "
    With biker shorts and latex covering your entire breasts?

    Good one, boys. I laugh.

  7. #7
    Tart
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    ^^ we wear full backs now lol

    at any rate. while I agree with what everyone has said, and its all great advice. At the same time, why should I bother selling my self short?

    I could offer 60 for 4 dances, if infact I wasn't tipping out on the 80 .. I have to look at that. because in the end that missing 20 does add up.

    I work at a club ( and trust me this is my only choice ) where I pay to work , lets just say 120. I pay basically 40 % on top of that at the end of the night. Every little bit helps.

    Usually I can let it roll off. and if he bargains I can walk away. Its just one of those "periods" where im ready to fucking snap.

    I shouldnt care, I shouldnt waste energy or exhaust myself into rebuttials. It should be " would you like this " and they can either fucking take it or leave it. there shouldnt be a need for two adults to bicker over a sale that imo is set in stone. price wise that is.

    You dont see these jackasses going into a grocery store and saying " well it says 2.25 for these crackers, but here is a dollar..thanks " and getting away with it.

    I see my product as the fucking same. Be it a dance or not .

    So fuck them. there i said it. Fuck them and im not bending. Why should I? they are in MY enviroment. and they know it. But somewhere someone caved in and allowed them to dominate and get their way and haggle it down.

    Dottie, hugs to you darling. I feel your pain. Its been 11 years now i've danced. and usually i take 6 months off . It just hasnt happend in the last year and I think its starting to jade me a bit.

    It goes in spurts, it is only pissing me off that its happening now because its well..xmas. and its not the time to fuck with anyones money.

    Oh and about the allow them to set a price. I do allow some sorta flexability in champagne rooms. but on dances no way.

  8. #8
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    ugh, i so relate. my tolerance for bullshit also ebbs and flows, and right now i have NO patience for assholes.

    i realized yesterday (when i was dancing onstage for free while all ten guys in the club sat back, beer in hand, eating up the free show, smirking the whole time)--the difference between feeling exploited and demeaned and feeling empowered and loving my job is MONEY.

    When I'm onstage dancing for a full tip rail and have guys leaning into the stage to ask if i'll give them a dance when i get done, it's great. When I'm dancing for cheap assholes who radiate the "i deserve to look at your pussy for free, bitch, and since i've got the money, i've got the power here" attitude...yeah, i do feel exploited and angry as hell, and I want to literally kick them all in the face. Wipe that smug sneer off your fat face, bastard, and fucking TIP me for the show!

    anyway, it's understandable that you don't want to go in to work now, if your patience level is also at a critical low. But don't let them get you down! You have goals, you need money for those goals, and don't let some cheap rude bastards get in your way of that.

    You said you feel better once you get there and are motivated to work, but going in is the hard part? Maybe you could put in a schedule card, if your club has that option. That's what I do when I know i will never feel like going to work--then i'm accountable and i have to show up (or get fined $50 for every shift missed!)

    hang in there...it will get better

  9. #9
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    I thought you were doing so well? Just a couple of weeks ago you said you were making thousands of dollars every few days. What happened?

    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=78151
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......

  10. #10
    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Andygirl View Post
    I thought you were doing so well? Just a couple of weeks ago you said you were making thousands of dollars every few days. What happened?
    Yeah, that's what I was thinking. You're on a roll. Go in there and make that money that some of us are pining for right now...
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

    -Sade
    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    The only thing a person hates more than being a sex object, is NOT being a sex object.
    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
    If you should your way through life you'll be should-ing all over yourself later.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten View Post
    Finger pointing is awesome!! No really, it gets things done.

  11. #11
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    When I was 18, 19, 20, a guys could say just about anything to me and I'd brush it off and stick around to take all his money. Nowadays I'm like, "What was that, you piece of shit?"
    Hahahahahaha! Very well put, my thoughts exactly!

    I just remind myself of all the bullshit I put up with in food service and other jobs and it helps...
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  12. #12
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    OHHHH! I know what you've got! You've got ashholecustiephobia! Yes, I too suffer from that affliction. I'm already planning to segue out of stripping by summer. These assholes are depressing me! Ironically I'm still making money but the percentage of even tempered dudes to asholes has shifted....for the WORSE!!!

    Take a little time for yourself and look around at other jobs you can do. You can feel free to leave at any time so you'll be stronger at work.

  13. #13
    Tart
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    i can make money if i get in there and feel like being there. Right now i just am at that point that i dont want to talk to asshats . a grand or not sometimes it just sucks the life out of me.

  14. #14
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    ugh, i so relate. my tolerance for bullshit also ebbs and flows, and right now i have NO patience for assholes.

    i realized yesterday (when i was dancing onstage for free while all ten guys in the club sat back, beer in hand, eating up the free show, smirking the whole time)--the difference between feeling exploited and demeaned and feeling empowered and loving my job is MONEY.

    When I'm onstage dancing for a full tip rail and have guys leaning into the stage to ask if i'll give them a dance when i get done, it's great. When I'm dancing for cheap assholes who radiate the "i deserve to look at your pussy for free, bitch, and since i've got the money, i've got the power here" attitude...yeah, i do feel exploited and angry as hell, and I want to literally kick them all in the face. Wipe that smug sneer off your fat face, bastard, and fucking TIP me for the show!
    Well said. You ever notice that the same guys who ask, "Don't you feel demeaned doing this?" are the cheapest ones in the club? My response is characteristically saccharine: "Only by guys like you, honey, who want to make me work for free."

    I'm disheartened to hear that you, Tart, who I've admired as the bankingest, hustinglest MILF in the midwest, still gets bummed out by the industry. That's not to say that you shouldn't... it's more like, in my relatively unseasoned naivete, I like to think that it gets easier. Hugs to you.

  15. #15
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    Tart, pardon my question, but do you even like dancing anymore? It seems like it just pisses you off more than not nowadays. Is it just because you haven't taken some time off?

  16. #16
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    i feel you. i absolutely do. i'm facing the same problem every day. i just finshed a final, havent slept well in days, and now i have to bust my ass to make it to work because i have bills to pay and xmas coming up. the thought of being asking for extras, having guys try to play mind games, etc. on top of it all sickens me right now. i just want to go to work, do my job and get paid. i don't want to be harassed i don't want to have to basicaly pry the money from their cheap hands, and i don't feel like having my apppearance knit-picked.

    *hugs*

    come drink with me instead!

    ps. if i get one more customer who sits for an hour not tipping anyone, and then asks me if i've done all my christmas shopping...

    i swear.to.god .......... wrath

  17. #17
    Tart
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    does it get to me more? well depends. I can go months without hating it . Then I have one off week and I do hate it.

    I do NOT hate my job , if it ever got to the point where I seriously couldnt live with myself if I continued to do this, then id quit. its that simple.

    I dont think i've made that many bitching posts about customers ...

    like a lot of people, I just want to go to work..do my job and not catch a ton of flack for doing so.

    I dont think its that much to ask.

    It boggles me that people would assume that an amount of money would make me gloss over issues. It doesn't. Money is great, and wonderful but it doesnt pacify me or change the things that piss me off.

    Andit doesnt get any easier as time goes on. I wish that it was so. The only thing that does get easier is to judge someones character without investing much time or effort.

    It just amazes me to no end how people equate money = happiness. or that I should shut about things that upset me because when I do work and apply myself ..do fairly well.

    Id just like to clairfy and anyone who does work or has worked wher I currently dance can tellyou, i work in a club that good money does come easy. Its not just me. There is nothing I do that seperates me from a million other dancers. anyone who works there and isnt shy to ask the champagne room prices, will make great money IF the money is in there.

    Right now there isnt as much money as there is douchebags.

  18. #18
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    OK, just wondered Just don't like seeing ladies on here so pissed.

  19. #19
    Tart
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    eh well lol im going in tonight. dragging my ass in actually. I still just feel bummed. so bummed is a better word than pissed. Because im not really angry im just in real need of a month off from "bars" in general. no bar people for a month.

    Hey i think thats a way better way to say shit. I hate fucking drunks! there you go. Its a bitch to constantly handle and talk to drunk adults all week. After awhile I get tired of babysitting and saying " no no, now you know better then to do that, oh and I know you are sorry but the next time you do it you are going to get in trouble"

    i mean c'mon.

  20. #20
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    Good luck then! Knock a drink or two over if you have to

  21. #21
    Tart
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    god damnit. tonight was awful! I even had an amazing hair day. totally went to waste.

    I hate to do it, but im going to load up my car and take my friend with me, and head to Indiana in search of a honky tonk to work at :"( I cant see it being a loss to be honest.

    while where I work has awesome nights, you can totally fuck yourself by sitting with the wrong guy just for awhile at the begining. I think I just need to go away till my next scheduled day. I cant afford to take time off. With the holidays and since we are closed ( thank god! ) on xmas eve, xmas.nye and nyd. I have to sorta stockpile money

    I know its coming every year, and I never prepare myself.

    last decemeber was awesome for me. but I was in Indianapolis then. It seems to be rather rough here in chicago for the holiday season

    girls did make bank tonight. many at 2 grand. But again, a squad ( as i like to call em') and investing time and knowing when to push. I just haven't got it in me right now.

    I think i'll do better with the " wanna dance wanna dance "crowd. Im not sociable right now at all. So lets cross our fingers and hope I can pull it off. I have another grand i need to make for gifts, and im super anal about bills right now so there is a grand needed for that.

    seems do-able normally but its that time of year again.

    I swear on all that's holy ..I will I WILL save for next winter and do what most seasoned pros do...get lipo and new tits during the slow times lol

  22. #22
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    im in the same boat. im taking time off till febuary rolls around and season picks up again. its sort of a good time for me to decide to have a hate fest on dancing, at least theres no money!

    hmmm.. winter lipo. now that sounds like a plan for next year.

  23. #23
    Senior Member mystery's Avatar
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    Default Re: I cannot motivate myself

    I feel for you.. I think the best is to maybe take a break and do some reflection, and accept the club as it is… I think the best ways to cope is to see it all as a game, and to do your best to energies yourself and surround yourself with positively while your not at work to charge up.. Go to SW for positively and even listen to positive sales tapes or positive self help tapes that make you feel good, because with all the negative influences around you need to make sure you fuel up with positively as much as you can otherwise it will eat on you until it eats you up..
    I wish you the best
    Peace

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