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Thread: What would you do if....

  1. #1
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default What would you do if....

    You got back together with an ex of yours. He's treating you marvelously.

    You'd been broken up for a while, and he mentioned he had a myspace, but then, when you started dating, told you he'd changed his status to "taken" and then, when you got exclusive, told you he shut it down completely.

    You wake up one morning, bored, and he is at work, and start browsing through SW, and go off to make the daily "net rounds" and as you type in www, you make a typo that brings up pages that start with www1. (anyone who is a myspace whore knows where this is going, lol.)

    As your finger hovers above the backspace key, you glance at the pages brought up - and it seems someone has been on myspace lately, and it wasn't you. Confuzzlement of all confuzzlement. (You see, he's been treating you so good, you haven't worried about anything. You're dumb and naive like a fuzzy little sheep in a cartoon.) You glance through the string, and being a geek, seperate the vital bits, and, lo and behold, it appears to be related to your boyfriend's email address. Hmmm.

    Myspace users search reveals his email address to go to an active profile, which still says single, and you suddenly turn from a dumb little fuzzy sheep to a raging angry girl. Being a geek, you note he last logged in TWO days ago, and a quick rummage through temp net files and history reveals he was not only on myspace, he was messaging, and checking photos.

    This, ladies, is my angry face. You cannot see it, but it is.

    He LIED to me.

    Now, the dilemma is this:

    Do I confront him and hope for an explanation that will make me feel like a whiny jealous bitch that doesn't trust him (I hate to feel that way.)

    Do I wait and see what happens with the profile? See if he keeps logging in, etc, for a while, to see if maybe he is just going to let it die, or something?

    Or do I become a really vicious bitch and release my l334 geek skills and find out his password and read his messages? (Note, I could, but I don't think I will. I've been tempted, but it always felt wrong. I prefer to use my powers for good, and not evil, but DAMN, the idea is tempting.)

    ARGH! I need another shot.

  2. #2
    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    I would confront him. Myspace is a way for someone to look for someone else on the side or w/e and it's obvious you are not trusting him right now, so just confront him. He's not treating you so well if he's messaging girls behind your back now is he?

    My boyfriend's best friend was messaging some girl behind his girlfriend's back while we were at his house and he told us about it. Then he left his girlfriend for that girl and I felt bad for his girlfriend, and I wish she would have known what a jerk off he is. So...be careful he might be setting something up.

  3. #3
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    ^^^^See, that's my thing exactly.

    Number one is, he completely totally lied to me about it.

    Number two is, he's messaging SOMEONE.

    Number three is that I feel like a little jealous bitch. I ABHOR that. The thought of him running around never even crossed my mind until I saw that this morning. It like, blindsided me.

    I just.... am afraid to confront him, because I don't want to lose him to me being jealous. I guess I feel like I'm gonna say something, and he'll have this really logical answer, and then I'll come off like a bitch who is blowing things out of proportion and I'll lose him.

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    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    I would check his e-mails on the off chance that he isn't looking for a chick and was just checking on some friend he lost touch with (if he is just looking for a friend or something equally innocent, then horray). If he isn't being good. Then I would kick his ass to the curb. It doesn't matter how great he is treating you to your face if he is lying to you it is easy to seem perfect. Don't wait it out. That is just another way of saying "Hang around for more lies." Guys do exist out there who don't lie, but you will never find them if you waste to much time with losers who are not honest.

    Jasmine

  5. #5
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    I would confront him about it and ask what the lying was all about. It really sucks that he has to go behind your back and start up a new page (that he claimed to have disabled) to then see that he is single...to then find out that he is messaging someone.

    I know you only like to use your powers for good..but this is good..this will be helping you out to see if you want to work it out with this dude, or move the hell on. I say read the messages ONLY if you're able to hold your tongue on if you find something incriminating...

    Good luck babe







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


  6. #6
    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    Yes, I def agree with CK, in this case, you are using your powers for good. Your own well being and peace of mind. It would be best if you did all your research possible before you confront him. Then you can tell if he's lying again to you by any contradictions you may notice. Good luck and I hope things all work out for the best for you.

  7. #7
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    Ladies, guys who are engaged with a mate do not browse dating sites. It's a big, ugly, red flare when they start (or resume). Maybe he's looking for a 3rd for you two to share as a holiday gift? Unlikely, right? Sorry you're going through this.

    My advice? Dump him.

  8. #8
    Pamela
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    I fuckin HATE myspace. I had a profile with many friends. Got hacked. Then a stolen ME. I never put up another profile again. But someone was using ALOT of my pics. and working it hard. I was told by my daughter...Lol.

    I would not trust anything that happens on that site, first too many glitches, second it's used as a MAJOR dating tool these days.

    It's a joke. It's the new Pedophile hang-out! And vice is all over that stupid site like shit on flies. Good for them.

    Yea... he's up to no good, imo. Myspace is that way.

  9. #9
    God/dess
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    Well I am married and have a myspace acct . It doesnt mean that I am dating or chasing tail my wife knows about it she also knows I talk with other women . I have actually had lunch with one ( and my wife knew ) I guess thats called trust some get it some will never .
    Are you mad at the fact he has an acct or that he wasn't telling the truth ? The fact that someone lied would bother me .Just another mans take on the situation . I think you should not dig any further and just ask him straight up about his myspace acct . If you can't get yourself to trust this guy then you are better off without him . Sorry this had happend to you .

  10. #10
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    Find out his password and snoop.

    Report the details back here and wait for further instructions.

  11. #11
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    ^^^^^^^^You twisted my arm. I give in. Mercy! Mercy!

    I'm going to see what the fuss and bother is. Better that I find out than start drama with him for no reason.

    And to the gentleman up top that goes out with chicks from myspace:

    I don't care that he has an account. He could meet up with whomever he likes, and have whomever he wants as a friend, guy or girl.

    The issue is that one, he lied about it, and two, he's posing like he's single on a site that is notorious for being a dating service.

    Anyhow, I should know what's up by tomorrow.

  12. #12
    Veteran Member candygrrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    read the messages!!!!!!
    then decide whether or not to be angry

  13. #13
    Veteran Member wonderkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    Don't confront him about h Myspace. If he finds out you snooped he may turn the argument back around on you creating a big mess. Instead ask him if everything is going OK for him in your relationship. Tell him you have the suspicion that he may want to see someone else and if that's what he really wants he needs to quit seeing you first. He might deny anything is going . If you still find that you don't trust him just let him go. You can't be with someone you don't trust.

  14. #14
    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    I don't see why someone who is in love with their significant other would feel the need to go on myspace and talk to other people in that way. Its fine in my opinion, if the guy is just friends, but flirting is out of the question. I guess I'm too old school and controlling but I don't think it's appropriate for a boyfriend to be talking to other people in that way. No one on myspace talks "just for friends" that's why I deleted my account.. all it is stupid guys trying to get a date. I can talk to my friends on aol.

    And if you don't find anything don't say anything, then he won't know you snooped. But it's still f***ed up that he lied. If he has nothing to hide, why would he lie? Men!

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    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    Tell him you stumbled upon his myspace. . .and that he should change his dating status to "In a Relationship." Him Knowing that you know is sometimes enough to wake a boy up, especially if you are cool about it. Don't ASK him what's what, tell him! He'll know he got caught. Just handle it like a lady.
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    This is why I never recycle men.



  17. #17
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirona View Post
    This is why I never recycle men.
    Very wise.

  18. #18
    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirona View Post
    This is why I never recycle men.
    If they're an ex, they're an ex for a reason, and should stay such.


    Speaking of, what was the reason last time? Were trust and honesty issues involved?

  19. #19
    Veteran Member Krissy Kennedy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    1. I would definitely snoop since he lied, but hey, that's me!
    2. My husband and I both have myspace pages...we keep up with old friends from school, relatives we don't see much, friends from kung fu, etc. It's not *always* used as a dating site.
    Si hoc non legere potes tu asinus es



  20. #20
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    I agree w/ the dangers of recycling.

    But, things like this are why I HATE MYSPACE!!!!
    it's so junior high.

  21. #21
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    So, what's the status of the situation?

  22. #22
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    dumped him yet?

  23. #23
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    So, he's been on in the last couple hours. I haven't had time to install a keylogger today, so I don't have his password. But, he's updated.

    It clearly states he's single, and looking for a serious relationship or to date, and then while er, accidentally browsing and chasing links, find out he has a profile on a dating site.

    I'm going to do as suggested and bring it up like a lady... and then pack my shit. He lied to me before, and he lied to me again, after we "started over" I'm done with this. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

    Just gotta figure out the best way to have the talk and still come off like a lady. Gonna do it tomorrow.

  24. #24
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    Pack your shit first. Boys doing that boo hoo i'm so sorry thing can be convincing. if you're already packed, it's easier to go.

  25. #25
    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Re: What would you do if....

    You know .... I wish you the best. I hope you can leave him, b/c it doesn't sound good. this reminds me of my friend (she was much worse though). She found him on several dating sites and all kinds of things indicating that he had met people from the sites (including gay sites) .....anyways, she confronted him, he lied and said it was all extremely old (OK so why was it in recent history in the computer??) and lo and behold, she ignored all the signs and then wondered why he was never coming home all night long, etc.

    So ....Don't be like her!!!! You don't seem like it, but you hit the nail on the head when you said "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me".






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