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Thread: what to do when you get blanked?

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    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default what to do when you get blanked?

    so last night was my first night back in the business and i put a lot of effort into my appearance and smiled all the time at every guy i laid eyes on but instead most of the guys just looked away without smiling the way you would to a beggar coming towards you. now i am not a bad looker, in fact, id like to think i was the best looking girl in the club since i am classy and most of the girls were skanky.

    anyway, and then there were a group of about 4 guys all sitting with girls except one guy in the middle. i caught his eye as i walked past so went back and walked up to him with a big smile and said hi! and he just looked away and at his friend who also blanked me so im left standing there like i just said hi to a brick wall. one of the girls said "he's not a nice guy" and i just came out with, "well im not a nice girl but i thought i would try it" and still got completely ignored so i had to just turn around and walk away.

    i felt humiliated.

    so im left walking around the club, last dancer standing and thinking to myself, im too good for this job, which isnt helped by the bouncer telling me that also. i admit, i had to bite back tears and ended up having a few drinks to shut my brain up.

    so i dont know if its shit because its not the right club for me, or if im too classy for the club and the custys want skanky girls, or if its cos it was my first night back, or if i dont know what im doing or if its not the right job for me, or what!?

    all i know is i want to do less talking and more dancing and more taking of the money home to pay my damned bills.

    i really hope the DW HSC will fix everything cos i hate feeling like this job is not worth the hassle.

    i just hate how i feel like im some sort of high class beggar and feeling like im fake. maybe im trying to figure out if you can do this job without feeling like youre compromising who you are...? i just dont feel like i "own it" wen im in the club but then i cant figure out what im so afraid of???

    if anyone knows what im rattling on about and can give me some advice, i would really appreciate. id love to make this job work for me and that means, enjoy doing it and make money from it!

    grr and sigh...
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    Ive been there. Its not begging its providing a service in exchange for services paid. Did you dance long before? Sometimes if youre a vet dancer it all comes back to you i a bit. Just give it time for your hustle to come back.

    Just looking hot only goes so far. Having sales skills will make your money grow more.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    Some advice from the other side of the fance.

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    ...maybe im trying to figure out if you can do this job without feeling like youre compromising who you are...?
    Don't take it personally - how you're treated inside the club bears no relationship to you outside of it. You're being judged as a stripper - not a person - and most guys never get to see there's a difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    so last night was my first night back in the business and i put a lot of effort into my appearance and smiled all the time at every guy i laid eyes on but instead most of the guys just looked away without smiling the way you would to a beggar coming towards you.
    Were you trying too hard? Us guys like the illusion it's real, and too much effort put into smiling can look fake. You may be coming across as a bit mechanical.

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    so i dont know if its shit because its not the right club for me, or if im too classy for the club and the custys want skanky girls...or if i dont know what im doing or if its not the right job for me, or what!?
    Thoughts I'd put out of my mind while I'm working. A lot of our communication is by body language and if that's what you're thinking some of it will leak through into your body language.

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    if anyone knows what im rattling on about and can give me some advice, i would really appreciate. id love to make this job work for me and that means, enjoy doing it and make money from it!
    I'd suggest you think a little about your 'people' skills. Sounds like you're easy on the eye, which suggests to me that you're not coming over as friendly to the guys you're talking to. We like to think we can chat to/chat up dancers when we get talking to them, and if you are coming across as a little unapproachable it may deter guys from starting a conversation.

    Phil.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    everyone has bad nights. deep breaths and taking a long break to put yourself in your happy place in the dressing room is a good idea when you feel the tears coming on.

    also, when you feel that way, it will unfortunately come across to customers. and that will not hlp you sell. start pepping yourself up for work... "im a sexy chick! they ALL want me! I am going to take ALL of their money, and they WILL like it!" keep repeating that to yourself until you are smiling big and pretty in the mirror. it will help eventhough it sounds stupid.

    Love it!

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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    Just give yourself time. Your first night back after a long break is going to be hard, especially in a new club that you've not worked in. All of us have felt that way at one time or another, just keep trying and you'll get to the point that when you walk in you feel like you own the place! Just act fun, act bubbly, act like you're the life of the party and keep saying to yourself "every guy in here wants me, if he doesn't, his loss!" That's what helped me through those hard times. And remember, even the most experienced dancers have bad nights like that too.

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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    i hate those rude bastards that ignore dancers, if they don't want to be approached they should piss off (haha sorry mini-rant).
    hun im sure you are gorgeous and as the other posts said dont take it personally. all of us have those shit nights.
    i had a great night last night but i had a few who were rude but i didn't let it ruin my night or impede my sales to people who were interested.
    when i was on stage i was directing my attention to a particular guy and i kept smiling at him and he had a really shitty look on his face. my response: totally ignore him for the rest of my set, when i got off stage he was looking in my direction, i walked straight past and sold a dance to someone else.
    don't let wankers define how u feel about yourself.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    "You're being judged as a stripper - not a person - and most guys never get to see there's a difference."


    it's absolutely true.

    and it's what's wrong with our business and why so many girls are fed up.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    Well, if you feel like you're more "classy" (ie, better than or above) the rest of the girls, that attitude WILL project to the customers and they generally won't respond positively.

    If you feel totally out of place in a club (and it sounds like you did), that means it's probably not the club for you. I would look for another where I fit in better. It will have a positive impact on the bottom line.

    It could have been first night jitters, but it sounds to me more like a case of "need a different club".

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    I agree. I take it personally sometimes because it feels like a guy is rejecting you, but really he is just rejecting "you as a stripper". Real me is a lot more awesome than stripper me, and I know that. Maybe that sounds like I don't have confidence as a dancer, but that's really not it. I know I give a great dance and I'm flirty and fun, but the me that is totally independent of the club is even ten times better. Unfortunately, the guys in the club usually do not care if you are smart, funny, or have real talents. They want you to drink, laugh, and make their penis hard.

    I had a dancer identity crisis just earlier this week. I started focusing too much on how much I made per day and compared to other girls, rather than looking at the big picture. If I am making a lot per week or per month, and I'm making in the same range per week as other girls, then I should be content with that. I let myself get bent out of shape if one of my friends makes a lot more than me in one night.

    Just stick it out, and night by night it will be easier. If it's not easier after a couple of weeks, then there's a problem. It sounds like part of your problem might also be the club. If all the girls in your club look skanky, there might be a reason. Guys might be coming there to find skanks and you might be catching them off guard by looking nice.

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    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    hey everyone

    you guys are amazing, thank you so much for listening to me have a big moan and being so supportive!

    last night went better, i made less, but i had a better time mostly because my friend and i sat with a really entertaining guy half of the night. he couldnt pay for our time but he bought £90 worth of dances off us each and there were no other custys in the club until much later so we figured we'd stay as he was buying us loads of drinks and he was so much fun to sit with.

    i think i also definately hav issues about opening up to people. one guy thought i was really nervous, but really, i felt like i was on my guard. its my personality tho and it actually takes a few drinks for me to loosen up and not care which i know is not the way i want to go about it. then again, he was insessantly asking me to kiss him which was annoying me.

    i need to create an alterior me. i dont want to take shit personally, i know better than to do that too!

    thanks again everyone
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

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    Senior Member carmen123's Avatar
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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    Thats interesting, fox. I'm a pretty nubian (black) girl who lives in the states. I used to dance up north in Ohio for 5 years and was almost always blanked. I always thought it was me, my attitude or something. I would wake up, eat a good meal, do all the things necessary to put me in a good mood, but STILL, no matter what I did, ppl ignored me. For a while, I suspected it was simply my attitude. Then, after one night when NO ONE even tipped me on stage, I didnt even make a fucking dollar, I knew finally after 5 years, it was not me, it was them. Like you, I was classy, well spoken, had prettier outfits, and still the skankier girls were in demand. I also think that in my case race did play a part, but my point is, with you being white and experiencing the same thing, my conclusion is that sometimes ppl are intimidated by class, real beauty, kindness, etc. My advice? Honey, you are in the wrong club. Do not waste your time in a place that does not provide positive energy. Some clubs are full of skanky chics w/ funky energy and for some strange reason, thats what the ppl like (bizzare, I know). Find yourself a club that supports you. I went to North Carolina and found a club that I absolutely love, its a total difference from the other club in Ohio, and it supports my energy. Moral of the story: Everything is not for everyone. You can do better. You are very pretty, I'm sure there are plenty of clubs that would love to have you and treat you like the Goddess that you are =^)

    Keep it moving, and dont look back!!

    Carmen

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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    I do agree that a lot can depend on the club. Some people mesh better in other clubs, ya know? Just like you get along with certain types of people better than others, so if it doesn't get better within 2 wks, I'd go somewhere else. My first night dancing was at another club, I do like 3 dances and realized that place wasn't for me. All the girls, the managers, the DJ, everyone was so nice and so welcoming, they all respected each other's boundaries, they wouldn't step on anyone's toes, they all worked together, it's a great club, but I knew within a couple hours that that place wasn't for me. That was my first night ever dancing and it almost made me give up on my hopes of dancing, well I decided to give it one last try at another club that I loved to visit as a customer and I love it there, I immediately felt comfortable and immediately knew that was the place for me. I've been there ever since.

    If you don't feel right there, there's a reason and there is a place out there for you that you'll enjoy more and make more $$$$$. Don't give up on dancing because of one club, think if had, I wouldn't be dancing and enjoying like I am!

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    ^^You 2 above said it better than I did. We all have to find the club where we fit best, and that's where we'll make the most money.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    i think i also definately hav issues about opening up to people. one guy thought i was really nervous, but really, i felt like i was on my guard. its my personality tho and it actually takes a few drinks for me to loosen up and not care which i know is not the way i want to go about it. then again, he was insessantly asking me to kiss him which was annoying me.

    i need to create an alterior me. i dont want to take shit personally, i know better than to do that too!
    Although it's been said before, maybe you'd better regard yourself as an actress playing a role. All the Oscar winning actresses have thought through exactly how their character reacts in any given situation, and can behave accordingly. You're playing the role of the "stripper".

    Means you don't have to open up about yourself, but can just trot out what personality you have dreamed up for yourself. (Do you think every customer tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about themselves?)

    Within the role of "stripper", I've always thought the first requirement is good sales skills. (No good having the hottest body in the world, if you can't persuade guys to pay to look at it.) If you are turned down for a dance, look on it as being your sales pitch not being right, and not a reflection on you personally.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    For what it's worth, you might just be the victim of an ever worsening economy
    My girl and I have a good friend who is a dancer and she has told us she is seriously thinking about quitting. She's very experienced and was making great money but it's just not there anymore. We're in a small area and there's not a lot of clubs to choose from so it's great she has a day job with good wages and fair benefits to survive on.

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    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    If the majority of the girls in that club look like "skanks," then that's probably what sells there. I agree with the other girls - go somewhere else.

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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    If the majority of the girls in that club look like "skanks," then that's probably what sells there. I agree with the other girls - go somewhere else.
    Exactly. I went through this (sorta) when I forst got to Phoenix years ago.

    I didn't know anything about the clubs, so I tried Band-aids first, since I'd heard they hire anybody. I planned to get familarized with the area, and move to the better clubs.

    Band-aids told me no b4 I could get through the door, but Hiliter told me yes! WTF? Band-aids is where Hiliter send girls they don't hire!!!

    I couldn't understand why they didn't want me. I was PISSED, ready to give up on Phoenix, until someone told me it was a skank haven, and that I should try Hiliter!

    Sounds like you are "too good" for this place. Beat it!
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    Oh, and nope, rubbing titties isn't air dancing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    The cut-off age for stripping is when customers stop paying you.

    The end.

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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    Looks can be subjected anyway. Just because you think you are all that (perhaps you probably are) doesn't mean a guy is going to buy a dance from you. If you come off with a "I'm hot so you should buy a dance from me"attitude, a guy is going to register "stuck up" and not buy one at all.

    So you were the last one standing. I guess, it was your turn to be the last one standing. Someone has to take that position sometimes. Some strippers do it a lot, some rarely ever. Why are you thinking it as something bad? Who knows a good custy may come in and bam VIP! Use that time to relax and freshen up your make up. Change outfits perhaps.

    There are days when the hottest sexiest dancer it turned down for the ho-hum dancer. No the hu-hum dancer is not giving extras or anything like that. The custy just wanted a dance from her and not the other. That is just how the cards were dealt.

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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    ^^ Boy, how we all missed you and your sage-like wisdom..... Telling someone that they think they are "the shit" and to just suck it up and move on is not going to help anyone in the least! Erm, anyways-it sounds like that club is not a good fit for you-shop around a bit and find somewhere where you feel comfortable. It may take some time and you'll come across a few rotten eggs, but there's definitely a club out there for you! Plus, read HH religiously and it will give you lots of tips and pointers on how to maximize your earnings and how to hustle...Good luck!!

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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    Quote Originally Posted by virgoamm View Post
    ^^ Boy, how we all missed you and your sage-like wisdom.....
    I'll ignore that smart ass remark

    Telling someone that they think they are "the shit" and to just suck it up and move on is not going to help anyone in the least!
    I do believe she clearly said she was the shit her own self:

    now i am not a bad looker, in fact, id like to think i was the best looking girl in the club since i am classy and most of the girls were skanky.


    so im left walking around the club, last dancer standing and thinking to myself, im too good for this job,

    if im too classy for the club and the custys want skanky girls,

    Yes, she should move on. So because she is the "classy dancer" she is not allowed to be rejected. She got rejected big deal. She should be classy and move on. It was her turn to be the "last one standing", that is going to happen to the best season dancer at one time. I feel she dealt with it in a negative way.

    Perhaps 21st came back into the club assuming that the custies would be falling all over her, who knows. It is obvious that she has put her name back on the marquee, and stop wasting her time whining over 4 custies.


    Erm, anyways-it sounds like that club is not a good fit for you-shop around a bit and find somewhere where you feel comfortable. It may take some time and you'll come across a few rotten eggs, but there's definitely a club out there for you! Plus, read HH religiously and it will give you lots of tips and pointers on how to maximize your earnings and how to hustle...Good luck!!
    Sure she can change clubs. Yet, how many times do you change clubs because things aren't going your way or because you have one or two bad nights? If the problem is persistent than of course change clubs, but no one is going to ever find the ideal utopia club.


    By the way, I do believe Phil-W said almost the same thing. Why don't you bug him?

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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    Okay, the reason your post irked me was because you were making a personal attack on her for what she said. And I didn't "bug" Phil-W because he gave his advice in a constructive way that could be helpful to her. I think her reaction to the situation she was in was perfectly normal. Just think if it were you..If you are a hot/attractive girl, and let's face it-dancers are SUPPOSED to be attractive and you are at work and rejected the way she was, of course it is going to be a blow to your ego. Especially if you see the guys sitting with skanks/crack whores. This isn't to say that you should take it personally-rejection is part and parcel of this business. No matter how good looking you are, every man has a different idea of what his "fantasy" woman is and you will never be everyone's type. I personally think that she was in the wrong club/environment and needs to move on to a classier club where her look is more in demand. And who's to say she doesn't have a good personality?? The guys didn't even give her a chance!

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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    Quote Originally Posted by virgoamm View Post
    Okay, the reason your post irked me was because you were making a personal attack on her for what she said.
    Where did I personally attack her? I drew my accusation directly from her post.

    Just because you think you are all that (perhaps you probably are) doesn't mean a guy is going to buy a dance from you. If you come off with a "I'm hot so you should buy a dance from me"attitude, a guy is going to register "stuck up" and not buy one at all.
    I do believe that her general perception is she think she is all that.

    And I didn't "bug" Phil-W because he gave his advice in a constructive way that could be helpful to her.
    Um hmm, sure thing. You didn't bug Phil because Phil is like Switzerland. So what if I said she was the last one standing. The truth is that she was the last one standing. The mere fact that she was complaining about suggest that she should reevaluate her "classy status".

    I think her reaction to the situation she was in was perfectly normal. Just think if it were you..If you are a hot/attractive girl, and let's face it-dancers are SUPPOSED to be attractive and you are at work and rejected the way she was, of course it is going to be a blow to your ego.
    No her reaction is typical of dancers who never get turned down. I don't think dancers are generally are supposed to be attractive. They should be relatively attractive. Who knows what may appeal to a guy? Like I said before looks are subjected.

    Especially if you see the guys sitting with skanks/crack whores.
    What makes you think that just because a guy is sitting with someone else and not you, that automatically means they are skanks and crack whores? Once again the "classy status" should be reevaluated.

    This isn't to say that you should take it personally-rejection is part and parcel of this business. No matter how good looking you are, every man has a different idea of what his "fantasy" woman is and you will never be everyone's type.
    Very true.
    I personally think that she was in the wrong club/environment and needs to move on to a classier club where her look is more in demand. And who's to say she doesn't have a good personality?? The guys didn't even give her a chance!
    They don't have to give her a chance. There will be more customers coming in the door, why waste your time over 4.

    Okay, the reason your post irked me
    Cut to the chase, my post irked you the moment you read Sassfire.

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    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    ok girls, put your handbags down!

    my problems with being a stripper arent meant to cause handbags at dawn!

    sassfire, i do not think i am "all that" to the degree that you think i do. you may argue this point if you like, but im really not concerned in arguing with someone who has never met me

    to clear things up, i went to work on saturday night and my friend wasnt there so i had no "crutch" to lean on while the club was empty and became overwhelmed with negative thoughts and eventually suffered an anxiety attack and went home because i couldnt calm down and control my emotions.

    THAT is my real problem. my problem is that for some reason i am scared of approaching the custies. (so sassfire, if i thought i were all that, would this be a problem?)

    so then i sit there and watch all the other girls make money while i get more and more freaked out in my head and have to go home...

    this happened in another, more classy club and was the reason why i left stripping for two years. having read HH for the past month and grown up as a woman, i thought i was ready to go back. but i guess i still have the same old issues.

    i need to get tipsy to shut my brain off in order to approach the custies. now i dont want to be getting drunk every night i work! so i need to figure out how to invent a character when i am at work that is fearless.

    it also doesnt help that this is my only form of income right now and i am beyond broke.

    so anyway. the point is, i need to find that sassy, outgoing, fearlessly confident girl i used to be growing up and send her out there to bring home the bacon

    now you two girls can carry on, its nice having two girls fighting over me (said in a total tongue-in-cheek way in case a handbag comes flying over my head!)

    ps: my original moans about the club are real issues, but they arent the biggest issue and at the end of the day, i think i should be able to make any club work for me, so the onus is on me to learn some sales skills...
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

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    Veteran Member sassfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    ok girls, put your handbags down!

    my problems with being a stripper arent meant to cause handbags at dawn!

    sassfire, i do not think i am "all that" to the degree that you think i do. you may argue this point if you like, but im really not concerned in arguing with someone who has never met me

    to clear things up, i went to work on saturday night and my friend wasnt there so i had no "crutch" to lean on while the club was empty and became overwhelmed with negative thoughts and eventually suffered an anxiety attack and went home because i couldnt calm down and control my emotions.

    THAT is my real problem. my problem is that for some reason i am scared of approaching the custies. (so sassfire, if i thought i were all that, would this be a problem?)

    so then i sit there and watch all the other girls make money while i get more and more freaked out in my head and have to go home...

    this happened in another, more classy club and was the reason why i left stripping for two years. having read HH for the past month and grown up as a woman, i thought i was ready to go back. but i guess i still have the same old issues.

    i need to get tipsy to shut my brain off in order to approach the custies. now i dont want to be getting drunk every night i work! so i need to figure out how to invent a character when i am at work that is fearless.

    it also doesnt help that this is my only form of income right now and i am beyond broke.

    so anyway. the point is, i need to find that sassy, outgoing, fearlessly confident girl i used to be growing up and send her out there to bring home the bacon

    now you two girls can carry on, its nice having two girls fighting over me (said in a total tongue-in-cheek way in case a handbag comes flying over my head!)

    ps: my original moans about the club are real issues, but they arent the biggest issue and at the end of the day, i think i should be able to make any club work for me, so the onus is on me to learn some sales skills...
    Everyone is going to start something with me because most here don't like me anyway. That is another story.

    Fox, pardon me for assuming that you thought you were "all that". You had clearly painted that impression several times in your first post. No where did you give the reader any indication that you needed a crutch or that you and that you were scared of approaching custies. In fact from my interpretation of your first post, you seemed confident (a few also had that impression and not just me). The only hint of insecurity came about when as you said, "You were the last one standing", and couldn't handle it.

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    Default Re: what to do when you get blanked?

    It sounds like you've gotten some pretty rough breaks in your personal life and you're letting it shake your confidence. You're obviously an intelligent person and because of that your mind can play some really mean tricks on you. Whilst it may seem to you that you're the only girl in the club without a man because no one is interested, it may seem to clients that you're the one girl in the club who isn't interested in them.

    You have to keep in mind that besides being a dancer you must be an effective salesperson. There's nothing that turns me off more than when a dancer walks up to you and bluntly asks " Would you like a private dance?". It's kinda like sex with no foreplay. Not only that, it is a simple yes or no answer. To be successful in sales you have to know what your customers want, as well as how to approach them for it. The best way for you to do this is with open-ended questions - questions that aren't easily brushed off or ignored. Men like the strip club because it's the opposite of the bar scene....it's a group of hot girls trying to get average mens attention. That means you have to initiate the conversation and keep it going.

    Some girls use drunk and slutty as a sales strategy and it works. Since this obviously isn't your bag you'll need to become an effective salesperson. Don't just say "Hi", Ask something like "So what brings you here tonight?" Common courtesy will call for an answer and most people will give you one. The ones that don't are the guys who were probably dragged there by their friends. After your initial question you're in control, keep the questions going and most importantly LISTEN and make eye contact. When the mood is right then it will be far easier to make your sale.

    Sorry for the long post.

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