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Thread: Totally missed sign?

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    Default Totally missed sign?

    Ok, here goes. Hopefully a short synopsis of the situation.

    Back before I was completely sighted (I was actually severely visually handicapped up until last December) I went to a strip club just to see what all the fuss was about. I sat at one of the stages, and tipped a dancer named Rae (<$10). After her set, she sat and talked with me. I bought her a drink without her asking. After about 15 minutes she asked if I wanted a lap dance, which I declined due to great conversation. I said that if she wanted or needed to get some other guy's attention I would understand since it is a job and I just wanted some good conversation. I offered to pay her for her time, but she declined. She instead sat with me for 4 hours (yes, I actually checked at the end of her shift) and ignored paying customers.

    During this conversation, she obviously had to go on stage. During this time, she also made sure to have other dancers that weren't busy watch and make sure I didn't leave. She would come back over and we would talk more about all sorts of subjects. We actually found out that we had a lot in common, including being military brats, likes, dislikes, etc. When her shift was over, she offered me her number, and I declined for an unknown reason (Now, I think perhaps I was being a little too cautious). What do the ladies think? Did I miss a potential opening for seeing her OTC or was this some SS? I really am curious since she declined paying customers, the low $$ spent on her by me, and this being a busy Saturday night. Honestly just looking for some opinions.

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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    Um, maybe she's grooming you? But what's up with declining a dance due to great conversation?
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    Honestly (and this is why I cut down going to SC's alot), I actually prefer conversation to viewing naked women. Not that I am against that, but I believe that a woman is more than tits and ass. This one turned me on mentally. Grooming me? For more $$?

    Could be. I am not sure if I will visit another SC any time soon though. I actually came to some realizations that night.

    1. The fantasies aren't there for me. I actually know this is a JOB and I think that is what ruins it for me, but hey oh well.

    2. She asked me if I were to ask her out if we met in a club, and at that time I didn't have enough self-confidence to say "yes". And that is because I have always been pitied for my lack of sight.

    Now is a totally different story. If given half the chance and opportunity to meet her only outside the club, I would do it in a heartbeat. But you know what they say, hindsight is 20/20.

    I will say this though:

    Reading the posts here, and on the other side, have given me a better understanding of how the culture is. I actually respect you ladies for having the courage to do what 99% of us men couldn't do. Yes, you take your clothes off and give men a fantasy. But underneath it all, you are real ladies FIRST and that's what's sexy. I might get kicked outta the Men's club for saying this, but it don't matter what a woman's occupation is. What matters is the person behind the job.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrE View Post
    Honestly (and this is why I cut down going to SC's alot), I actually prefer conversation to viewing naked women. Not that I am against that, but I believe that a woman is more than tits and ass. This one turned me on mentally. Grooming me? For more $$?

    Ooooooo OOOO MISTER E!!!

    *Waives hand*

    OOO OOO I KNOW MISTER E! MISTER E! MISTER E! OVER HERE YES YES ME ME ME

    *violently waives hand*

    YES!

    You're thinking too much sir. Exactly why is it you can't come in and enjoy yourself by just chilling with her and paying her for her time? I mean so she turned you on mentally. I'll take 5 stimulating hours of conversation without sex than 5 hours of television.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    I think you should return and pay her for several "lapdances" which may well instead be some conversation while she sits passively on your lap. I've heard of sisuations wher mgt will chide a dancer who spends time while not earning money in some way, since this is all on the club's time too.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Veteran Member datchapin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    You obviously have the answer in your post. I mean she turned down money to spend time with you offered you her # and clicked with you. I don't know what kind of opportunity you were thinking about, but you did miss the opportunity to get to know her better and find out if it was indeed ss or anything else. Obviously what would have been nobody knows, but a missed opportunity is a missed opportunity and you my friend let that one walk right by you.

    You shouldn't let that bother you though, everybody misses opportunities once in a while, just keep having fun and try to not miss future opportunities.

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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    This is very true. Well, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and/or a happy Kwanza. I am probably going to shut this thread down after New's Year's. Hope everyone is well, and ladies, have fun providing fantasies for us guys. Guys, respect the ladies and the job that they do, because if they didn't do it, who would

    MrE
    aka Mike

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    Member crackncash's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    My recommendation is to buy her lap dances....the "books" by the "masters" on how to pick up strippers recommends against buying her drinks or a dance lest you become "a customer". I am guessing you might like to date her but unless she is really really really really special, I would seriously question the reason.

    Picking up a stipper is just too much work so I have given up and simply get as much as I can for my money now . I have become the ultimate customer (or custy which I find amusing).

    The bottom line is Strippers need the cash and need you to support lapdancing. Treat them nicely and they will treat you 10 times better in my opinion. Make them feel good that they gave you the best lapdance you ever got in your life. God I am obsessed with these women.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    ^ wow, what an intuitive guy... with a really deep name.

    Love it!

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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    if she spent that much time with you without making any money she is either

    A. stupid
    B. rich
    C. into you

    i'm thinking C is the most likely option. there's also a slight chance you caught her on an "off" night where she just didn't feel like working and would rather take less money to sit and hang out.

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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    Well, again thank you all for your advice and/or comments. Perhaps she was into me, who knows? Only going back there will tell. And honestly, dating her would not be a bad thing, would it? I mean come on, these women are people first, not objects. I admit, the first time I went in there was the obvious. But then I started to get to know some of the gals, and well, realized that their T & A wasn't the main thing on my mind.

    Perhaps I should quit going to the clubs, but then again, I am reminded of a friend of mine (Her stage name was Khali, as in the Hindu goddess) who said that very rarely do you women get to meet gentlemen at your J.O.B, albeit they like looking at naked women.

    Well, if anyone wants to contact me, just PM me or email me here. I actually started this thread for just some advice, but then realized that this isn't (or perhaps it is, hehe) just a place for custys and dancers to coerce, but like all websites a meeting place of the minds.

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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    Actually, that should have been "converse", not "coerce". LOL

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    Okay.
    Sometimes girls DO really hit it off with customers. We usually suspect that is not the case because of how often we do it; like, we may really hit it off with one customer in 8 months to a year. Think about how many customers we see in a year. So it doesn't seem likely.

    Ultimately, we don't KNOW what she is doing. Some girls are dumb - some are afraid to be rude, and think that taking off when a guy says no is rude ("He'll think I'm just there for the money!" - I know, it's dumb). Maybe she was hoping you would insist (on paying her for her time). Maybe she was hoping you would be so smitten that you would come back and spend thousands. Maybe none of the paying customers were interested in her. Maybe she felt sorry for you. Or maybe she was having a nice time. This is not something we can know.

    FWIW - you're not the only guy who likes talking. We're professionally charming. ALL guys like talking to us.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    What Jenny said.

    We're pretty inured to the idea that strippers are always doing whatever they're doing for the sole and specific purpose of getting you to spend money. I can count on the fingers of one hand the times I've forgone money to sit with someone, and even then it usually wasn't for more than a few songs, and even then there was usually a contributing factor or two, like my feet hurt and it was a slow night. (Were you buying her drinks? I've worked with a few professional alchoholics who didn't care so much about the money, as long as someone else was paying for them to booze all day.)

    I actually kinda resent the guys who think that because we're having a nice time together, I should be happy to just kick back and hang out with them all night for free. OF COURSE, I'm clicking with you, dude. I get paid to click with guys like you. If you're not going to pay me, I'll just have to go click with any one of these other guys. Not saying the OP is one of these dudes, but they are annoying.

    Maybe the girl in question was dumb, or new. Maybe she's a pushover. Maybe she's into you. We don't know. You'd just have to go back and ask her, but more likely than not you're going to get the runaround.

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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    Well, since this thread is pretty dated I will be closing it after a few days. But in answer to some questions, here they are.

    Was she new or perhaps she was dumb? Not to my knowledge. She stated she had been dancing for 13 years now, hence the compliment for someone not looking like they were in their 30's and having 2 sons... Also, in the course of our conversation I found out she was a financial planner on the side, so dumb is probably not the issue. Who knows?

    Was it a slow night? That depends on your definition of slow, I thought it was for a Saturday night, however most of the dancers informed me that the particular Saturday was normal (the place was definitely not packed) and that it had been this way for a long time.

    Did she want me to buy her drinks? IF I remember correctly, she only had one drink and was nursing it the entire time. I offered a few drinks, but she politely refused. Also, from talking with the ladies on one of my previous visits, they stated that they do not gain a thing from the alcohol sales (a dumb move on the owner's part in my opinion).

    All in all, even if she was interested I may never find out, due to the time factor. Which to say is sad, but oh well. There is one other thing that I have neglected to mention as I didn't think it was important... During the course of our conversation she obviously asked what I did, etc. as part of the normal small talk. When I told her I helped to protect people from Identity Theft, she had asked me how I could help her, since she had been dealing with it for awhile. At that time, she asked if I wanted her phone number (I didn't take it) to discuss this at a later time. Honestly, I thought if I did, I would be "using" her, which is either naive or way too polite. This is all a mute point however.

    I will keep this thread open for a few more weeks, since the topic is probably boring some. I am however very appreciative of the advice. Have a nice night.

    MrE aka "Mike"

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    Senior Member sleepyboy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    Meet a girl in real life. Start a conversation with women in your everyday goings. Keep doing it and your bound to get a good conversation or spark something. Whats the worst that would happen?
    A. You find a new friend B. You gain people skills C. You find a mate D. You get a strange look

    This way you won't have to worry about if she is being a dancer and pretending to like you for your money.

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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    LOL, honestly... The advice is appreciated, however a little late. I have since become more outgoing and honestly, I don't care what the woman does as a job. Stripper, bank teller, cashier, etc. What matters to me is that they have a goal in life and go for it. To everyone who participated in this thread, I thank you for sharing your opinions and advice. Gentleman, keep treating the ladies with respect. They deserve it. Guys, for those of you who frequent the clubs, appreciate the work that they do, because if it wasn't them, who would? Have a good life everyone. The thread will now be closed.

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    Senior Member -Stacia-'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Totally missed sign?

    How do you close a thread?

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