Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 37

Thread: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

  1. #1
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Angry Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    OK I am a very nice person...sometimes a little too nice. But I'm trying to work on that. I sometimes feel that people push me around or talk down to me in a very accusatory, condescending way...in ways worse than they talk to their "enemies." I am trying to work on this and figure out why people disrespect me so much. It always seems like I run across a lot of "assholes" who mouth off at me for like no reason at all. This kinda stuff happens to everyone here and there, sure, but not 1/5 as much as it happens to me! Why? Is there something about me that gets misconstued or misperceived about the way I carry myself? WTF?

    It happened again last night. WTF? Me and my friend Bob were in center city, attending a friend's birthday party, then around 12:30 we all left the party so me and Bob decided to get a few drinks at one of the local bars. I advised him that I was hungry and didn't want to drink on a somewhat empty stomach, so Bob inquired at the bars about if they were still serving food or not. We went to this one bar that Bob had been to a few times. Keep in mind that Bob is in his early thirties, has a prestigious job, and has huge involvement with political figures...basically he is a respectable person. He asks the very tall female bartender if they have food, and she says that the kitchen is mostly closed but she could put something together. I said in an easygoing voice that I wanted mozzarella sticks or fries or just basic fried bar food. Didn't matter specifically what. She said she had chicken salad or something else, but she could accomodate us. I said ok and said yeah if they had some basic fried bar food that'd be cool. (she said she could accomodate us?) I was NOT requesting filet mignon or something. She was very vague and kept kinda saying the same thing, that she could accomodate us or something I couldn't hear completely because of the loud bar noise. I said ok that'd work, you know, just something fried or full of carbs(basically stuff that would coat my stomach so I wouldn't get sick if I had a few drinks...my stomach is very sensitive to even a small amount of alcohol...but I didn't tell her that part). I was easygoing...if anything, a little too spineless or indecisive but she didn't specify options.

    All of a sudden, she perversely scolds, "OK JUST REPEATED YOURSELF LIKE 3 TIMES. IF YOU'RE GONNA HAVE AN ATTITUDE WITH ME..." and went on. I'm like WTF? Attitude? Here I am, sucking on a blueberry ring pop(from the birthday party), acting sweetly unsure, and didn't say anything in a mean voice. So WHY is she saying I had an attitude? She sauntered down to the other side of the L-shaped bar and me and Bob were like WTF? Bob was like "Screw it, let's go." But I had to ash my cig(that bar doesn't follow Philly's new no-smoking rule). I went up to an ashtray to ash my cig right by where the bartender was standing, and said somewhat assertively but nicely, "Hun, I wasn't trying to have an attitude. I think there was just some misinterpreteation." Then she ranted on and on about something, making it sound like I'd killed her pet cat for godsakes, and when I tried to say "But that's not how I said it or meant it" she scolded harshly, "And don't interrupt me when I'm talking!" That pissed me off that she was talking down to me like a small child, and I DID interrupt that time to tell her so. This got into an argument with her bitching and ranting and raving, and finally I loudly said, "Fine, be a bitch. We're leaving anyway..." but before I completely got the "We're leaving" part out, she said "Then just leave. Right now." So I sassed back, "You're not kicking us out, we're leaving anyway!"(similar to someone saying "I'm not fired, I quit!") But WTF did I do to warrant THAT? And WHY oh WHY did she cut me an attitude, but not Bob? I wonder if it's because I look young, and looked younger sucking on a ring pop. Why do people disrespect me like 5X more than the average person??

    Oh oh oh! I just found out that this bartender bitch also bartended at SIGNATURES, the former strip club in center Philly! Bob says that she was kinda gossipy there. (so she's a catty stripper-related person...go figure!) So some of you SWers probably know the fucking dickhead that I'm talking about.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    104
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Sounds like this biotch was having a rough night and just took it out on you because you seemed like an easy target. Not right at all.

    I also am too nice (people have told me this so many times), and apparently we have a body language that bully-types pick up on. I used to have people treat me badly and I would take it but these days I will stick up for myself. I dont let people talk down to me no matter what mood theyre in or day theyre having, I set em straight, but not in an out of line way. You still want to end up being the big guy you know. I think you handled that very well and maybe she will think again before treating a customer like that again. Oh and I dont think its your appearance thats the prob I think it was the "nice girl" vibe you have, which is a good thing but some will take our kindness as a sign or weakness.

  3. #3
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    You might have inadverdently come off as passive-aggressive. If you kept telling her over and over what you wanted, and she's already doing you a favor and having a rough night, she probably just got irritated. Maybe you project a vibe like you already assume people are going to disrespect you or not give you what you want, and they respond to that.

  4. #4
    God/dess JustJayda's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    Philly- Cheesesteaks, Tastykakes and Misto shakes!!
    Posts
    2,691
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 24 Times in 21 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    You might have inadverdently come off as passive-aggressive. If you kept telling her over and over what you wanted, and she's already doing you a favor and having a rough night, she probably just got irritated. Maybe you project a vibe like you already assume people are going to disrespect you or not give you what you want, and they respond to that.
    That's exactly what I was thinking^^

    I mean look at it from her standpoint, she probably felt like..sheesh, I heard you the first two times damnit! I'm doing you a favor, we already cleaned the grease trap woman!
    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    Oh, and nope, rubbing titties isn't air dancing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    The cut-off age for stripping is when customers stop paying you.

    The end.

  5. #5
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    11,302
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 143 Times in 72 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Hrm, I prob know her quite well.

    What did she look like? 6' heavyset lady? blonde or dark hair? tats? fake tits?

    There was only one truly bitchy bartender, and she was actually a manager. And sometimes she was really cool. it just depends on what she's on that particular day. The others were okay with occasional mood swings.

  6. #6
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    13,855
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Honey, stop feeling sorry for yourself. People are assholes, it happens. Especially on a saturday night at some bar. Hell, I know some bars where the bartenders pride themselves on being assholes. Customers love it, that' their MO.

    No big deal, no one cares that you look young, but you're stuck on that. I look young too. So I get ignored in the shoe department at Nordstroms and no one gets the commission off of me. That's THEIR problem not mine.

    She sounds like a twat having a bad night, don't worry about it! Have a delicious late-night cheesesteaks somewhere, hehe!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    137
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    PhillyDancer, all you can do is be yourself and stay nice. Sometimes you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time and you get dumped on maybe because someone is down to their last nerve and you inadvertently stepped on it. Point is you didn't mean to piss her off but it just worked out that way.

  8. #8
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Quote Originally Posted by lilhotmama
    Sounds like this biotch was having a rough night and just took it out on you because you seemed like an easy target. Not right at all.

    I also am too nice (people have told me this so many times), and apparently we have a body language that bully-types pick up on.
    VERY good point. I *do* tend to get picked on or falsely blamed for things for than the average person. I also tend to randomly run across a lot more assholes than the average person does. (I'm NOT trying to feel sorry for myself by saying that...I have been TOLD these two things by more than one person who knows me and the people I've run across) I am trying to be more assertive and firm. Perhaps the wishy-washy, floaty(but not unfriendly) way that I said it made her think she could pick on me. Yeah, she probably was having a bad night. The fact that she cocked attitude with me, and not my friend Bob, is what leads me to believe that you're right, that she probably read me to be kinda unassertive or easy to bully. That, and I've been treated like a bully target MANY times before by a diverse group of people....so maybe it IS something I'm doing wrong in presenting myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    You might have inadverdently come off as passive-aggressive. If you kept telling her over and over what you wanted, and she's already doing you a favor and having a rough night, she probably just got irritated. Maybe you project a vibe like you already assume people are going to disrespect you or not give you what you want, and they respond to that.
    You are right also...I HAVE started to suspect that people will disrespect me. Mostly because it seems that I get stepped on and/or disrespected a lot more than most people. It's been my most recent pet peeve and the thing that I hate the most about myself. When I told her "over and over again" what I wanted, I did not say it in a demanding way. I said it in this kinda indecisive, floaty voice, "Mozzarella sticks or fries or some kinda high-carb bar food would be good, you know." I made it obvious that I was flexible, and simply looking for something high-carb to coat my stomach before I'd start drinking. She repeated herself too, saying things that were very vague such as "I can put something together." I think it was more of a miscommunication thing than anything, but that's no reason at all to flip out the way she did.

    I asked my friend Bob, and he said that he used to get the same kinda disrespect from bars and/or corporate workplaces when he was younger because of his baby face. He said that I should expect it sometimes not because I do anything wrong, but because I look young. The blue ring pop that I was intently licking probably didn't help too much.

    But either way, I wonder if I *do* appear as if I'm putting up a front or being passive-aggressive? I don't know. I asked Bob, but he said no. At the time, I was tired and slightly buzzed from one drink at the birthday party(LOL I'm turning into such a lightweight these days from not drinking very often!)...my demeanor was more floaty and indecisive and lightly ditzy than anything. Does that help any?(I know you'd have to actually see how I act in person to really judge, though)

  9. #9
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    Hrm, I prob know her quite well.

    What did she look like? 6' heavyset lady? blonde or dark hair? tats? fake tits?

    There was only one truly bitchy bartender, and she was actually a manager. And sometimes she was really cool. it just depends on what she's on that particular day. The others were okay with occasional mood swings.
    Sounds kinda like her. The girl was very tall, not heavyset but overall a little bigger than me because she was overall a lot taller than me(about 5" taller). Dark-blonde or light brown hair. And yes, Bob told me that at her new bar, she is involved with management as well as bartending, so it is possible that she was both bartender and manager at Signatures, too. Bob told me that at Signatures, she used to gossip about what customers were allowing extras, all the bad stuff going around the club, or stuff that isn't the classiest things to talk to the club's customers about. Bob told me that she's always been fine with him but he can see that she gets in moods at times. Oh yeah, and her name begins with a C or K and has two syllables, if that gives any hints.

    Oh wait! The funniest thing ever happened today at that same bar! Late this morning, I went back to that bar to talk to a manager about what happened last night. After all the times I've been extremely nice to customers in jobs like McDonalds, retail, or strip clubs, why should I let her tell me off and get away with it? A different bartender was there today and I talked to her. She was very nice and sympathetic and thought the girl was being catty. I commented, "I mean, really! The only other time I've been treated so meanly by a bartender was at that horrible Finney's Pub in Doylestown!" Right as I said it, a group of early 30s guys walked in and they exclaimed, "YOU know Finneys? OMG! We used to go there all the time! That bartender is a real asshole, what's his name? Rich Wiley!" I laughed and exclaimed, "No way! You guys know Finneys too?" and they all started talking about what a horrible wench that bartender Rich was. Haha we all sat down and they bought me a drink and food and we talked about all the people we know around Doylestown! Small world, huh?!(Plus, it demonstrated just HOW bad this bartender was, that I was comparing to that bar's own bartender!)

  10. #10
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    11,302
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 143 Times in 72 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    sounds like Candace. She's 6' tall and her hair color changes. She was red last time I saw her, but she had been blonde before too. She's in her 30s. Maybe she lost weight finally? I don't understand the part about gossiping about the customers that allow extras. I mean, why would anyone care about that? It's not unusual. She does have some high-spending VIP customers that she pimps girls out to though.

    She's one of the most irrational managers ever. As a bartender she was a little better because she was working for tips, but she's still a crazy cokehead bitch. I wouldn't take anything she says seriously. She one of those people that you can't tell if yelling at you because that's how she talks to everyone. And she loves a good power trip.

  11. #11
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Haha Emily that's the girl! I wanted to say her name, but wasn't sure if I was allowed to or not(but fuck it...you already said it, and I already revealed Rich Wiley's real name). She was kinda big, but more in the sense of tall than actually fat. She probably did lose weight. And she's a cokehead? Oh god. Heh good luck on her trying to defy the law and her body's health!(I can't stand it when people turn to hard drugs) And yeah, she DOES sound like the type who likes a power trip.

    Do you think that's why she had her outburst at me last night, because she could tell that I was kinda floaty/indecisive and figured that she could get away with scolding me? Cause I noticed that when I approached her the second time and tried to state that she was wrong in thinking that I was giving her an attitude or trying to be mean, she wouldn't let me spit my words out, then scolded me like a parent when I tried to reassert my words. And right before I announced to her that me and Bob would be leaving, she cut me off to say "Leave right now!" as if she was trying to beat me to the punch. Wow. Now that I know she's a cokehead, and has given other people problems, I really DO wonder if it was all her and none me. I'm gonna tell Bob that she's a cokehead...he'll get a kick outta it!

  12. #12
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    11,302
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 143 Times in 72 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    I have so many stories about her illustrating how power trippy and irrational she is.

    She's a stupid cunt who couldn't get hired (or rather, STAY hired) at any other strip clubs after Signatures got shut down. Nobody would put up with her shit. I am surprised she's currently employed.

    Don't try to figure her out. She is that way with everyone. God, I HATED her! I wanted to tell her off so many times but bit my lip because she was manager. Now I don't give a shit, so I'll say her name.

  13. #13
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    ^ Hahahahahaha!

    There were a lot of dancers at Wizzards who'd worked at Signatures before Wizzards. A lot of them complained that management was mean! One girl said that the female manager was a "bitch" and would make the girls sit around the bar when it wasn't busy...even though the dancers weren't getting paid anything! I didn't hear too many things about the management there, and I don't doubt that the management included Candace.

    If you want to see where she works, I won't disclose the bar's name completely(unless you PM me) but I'll give you a clue. It's a German-style pub in center city, not far from where Signatures was.

    Well, at least I know that I'm far from the only one who has gotten bad vibes from Candace OR Rich Wiley! For a minute, I thought that maybe I was doing something deadly wrong. Either way, I still feel that more people try to front with me than with other people...hence Candace telling me off but calling my friend Bob her highly-regarded "regular"(he's only met her 2 other times!). I'm just going to keep putting my foot down when people tell me off for no good reason, and maybe eventually they will learn to just let me be?

  14. #14
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Hey here's an idea...maybe she has the hots for Bob! After all, she treated him nicely and Bob DOES make a good deal of money and has affiliation with a lot of well-known politicians. Could explain the cattiness? I don't think she's that bad looking...and Bob hasn't dated anyone in a bit...if I were Bob, I'd fuck-her-n-chuck-her.

  15. #15
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    11,302
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 143 Times in 72 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Oh say no more. I know the bar. The owner of it was a Sigs regular too. And a cokehead.

    Candace got fired from Wizzards too. She got hired under the premise that she had all the VIP frends and she'd do champagne hostess. But then she got in a fight with the owner. And she's married with a kid. Poor kid.

    I'm not talking "mean" in the sense of making you sit at the bar sense (at least there is some logic behind that.) I'm talking about mean like....http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...4&postcount=36

    There is SO much more than this. She's yelled at me many times for pointless stuff.

  16. #16
    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    1,557
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 8 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    I agree. Candace is an evil bitch. She's wacked out so you should forget that whole conversation ever happened!

  17. #17
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    LOL me and M--k just spent some time reading over this thread(I'd started to tell M--k about what happened). M--k has agreed that this is the funniest stuff on SW all month! And the farting story...WTF was Candace smoking that night? (M--k says whatever it is, he'd like to get a hold of some. J/k) It does indeed sound like she cares more about yelling and controlling, than the situation at hand.

    When did Candace work at Wizzards? I worked there from end of January 05 on, til summer 05. She was probably there before my time. What I don't understand though, is why she would be given managerial status at BOTH places(Signatures, and now Ludwig's) if she is such a cokehead and hard to get along with. And to think of all the people who would make better managers, but can't get a management position at a job because of all the dumbasses like her clogging up all the manager jobs! Lol.

    And if she lost weight, it's probably from a coke diet?!! I knew a guy who would yo-yo from 240lbs to 130lbs and up to 200lbs...all dependent on how much coke he did at that point in his life. Oh, and he was 6'2".

  18. #18
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    11,302
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 143 Times in 72 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Candace was at wizzards sometime this year (wanna say spring or summer). It was after Signatures, and then after Gold Club.

    Yeah, I don't know how she gets management jobs either.

  19. #19
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Gee I'm surprised Vanity let the other managers hire Candace at Wizzards. Vanity (female manager at Wizzards) doesn't seem like the type of person who would like Candace's self-righteous controlling demeanor. Also, Vanity told us once that she worked at Signatures for 2hrs then left because she hated the place and hated the management. So it seems strange that she would "rescue" what was probably Signature's worst manager. But then again, Wizzards has seen better days so maybe they are lucky to hire anyone lately? I don't know.

    I don't think she will get fired, but she'll probably get a talking-to. Either way, I'm glad that I went back there today to complain about her to the other bartender. It showed that I was standing up for myself, plus it gave me the opportunity to meet some people that were pretty cool(not to mention, they shared my hate for bartender Rich Wiley!). Who knew that I'd run into people that actively dislike Rich Wiley as much as I do? And who also knew that the bitchy bartender of last night, would turn out to be a bitch who's already been infamously talked about by some known people on SW? LOL small world!

  20. #20
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    11,302
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 143 Times in 72 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Candace promised to bring high spending VIP customers with her to Wizzards. She does have a couple, namely one that has no issue dropping $25,000 in a night...and he will give her a tip in the thousands. But I guess it's expensive to pay off a manager to send in 5 girls who will suck your dick at the same time.

    I just remembered another Candace moment. I was on stage with no latex on my nips. She caught me and pulled me off in the middle of my stage set to tell me to put latex on because we could get in major trouble for that. Meanwhile, she's pimping girls out to suck her customer's dick in the champagne room.

    Who is Rich Wiley? is he the guy that is like 22 but looks 32? used to bartend at that Pelican Fish place?

  21. #21
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    No, Rich Wiley is a different person...he is like 40 but looks like he's 50. He is the bartender of a stupid dive bar called Finney's in Doylestown(central Bucks County, northeast of the city). I met him a few years ago because I have friends in Doylestown and would frequent the bar with a few friends. Long story short, he basically was rude to me in some ways that were similar to the rudeness I experienced from Candace last night. He also talked shit behind my back to my friends and the other employees(who were friends with my friends), discouraged a guy friend from dating me, and would refuse to serve me by virtually ignoring my presence at the bar. He did this because at the time(right before dancing), I was going through a lot of money problems that were made known to him(small town), so that gave him reason to treat me like a fifth-class citizen I guess. I eventually confronted Rich about how bad he was treating me, and all this did was result in him telling me to never come back and even (falsely) threatening to call the cops on me if I showed up(doubtful; probably a bluff). A lot of people consider Rich to be a "tool" and an "asshole." In fact, I can't think of one person who's said that Rich is cool or even an all right guy. He has a Pringles mustache and wears suspenders. The group of guys at Ludwig's who spoke not-so-fondly of Rich were some of MANY people that I've encountered far from Doylestown who have both known Rich and dislike him immensely.

    Candace sounds like trouble. She sounds like the "typical bitchy strip club girl" that has been written about in various website threads...such as the recent thread in Stripping(General), titled "Are all strippers bitches." People like her will give dancers and strip club bartenders/hostesses/waitresses a bad name! And just curious, how do you know her employment history? Do you guys have a mutual friend, or do you hear from other girls on SW? If she's gone through so many jobs in such a short time, then I wonder how long she will really last at Ludwig's?

  22. #22
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    11,302
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 143 Times in 72 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Philly is small! and philly go-go is even smaller

    I have a good wizzards source.

  23. #23
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Over the hills and far away
    Posts
    4,902
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 368 Times in 56 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    OMG! candace is bartneding at ludvigs! ha! cokeheads unite, right?! lol. that bar's owner ended up going to my close friend for massages weekly, and would pull a candace and freak out at her, scream, and then play super nicey sweet. she finally told him she wouldn't work on him anymore, no matter how many huge tips he gave her!

    and yea, i will echo natalie and emily... candace was a SERIOUS beeeeyotch. she will try to walk on the strongest and cowardliest of people. doesn't matter, she has to be more controlling. she came in to our club now to apply for a job but she was so coked out of her gourd that they wouldn't hire her.

    Love it!

  24. #24
    Featured Member short skirts's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    1,010
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 9 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    The bartender was short with you and could've handled the situation a bit more diplomaticly in my opnion. Understand that when the kitchen is closed, the kitchen is CLOSED. She has to turn the fryers off and grill at a certain time so they can cool down so she can turn the exhaust fan off before she leaves. I think she was being straight with you and offering something she didn't have to and you demanded more. You pissed her off because she was going to do something she didn't have to to be nice and accomodate your need for food. She wasn't able to make you exactly what you wanted and you didn't understand that or the reason why. She took offense to you being demanding. She should only have to say it once. A bartender has control of the bar and what she tolerates when she's behind the bar. All bartenders are different. You two clash and you should just not return on her shift, simple as that. Don't worry about such trivial things, there's always big things to worry about, it's not worth the stress hun. She was probably being as nice as she could at that moment, you have no idea what it's like to run the bar, grill, fryers, and clean up while serving drinks and managing drunks and their behavior changes after a few drinks, Some guy may have just been a real jerk and she was trying to be professional at first and you set her off by being demanding. I

    You never know, she may have just ran out of a keg, or co2, syrup, had a mess from a drunk to handle, who knows what the reason was and she WAS trying to accomodate your need for food, going out of her way. That's all she could do for you. You can't expect people to jump because you want them too. If the kitchen's closed, she didn't have to offer you ANY food. She has jobs to do at the late part of the night and that's why the grill closes when it does. You insulted her by ordering something she said you couldn't have 3 times. Don't ever question the bartender unless she's shortchanged you.
    Don't sweat it, her bad night, your being demanding just didn't mix.

  25. #25
    PhillyDancer1982
    Guest

    Default Re: Getting annoyed with people disrespecting me so much...Vent about a bartender!

    Quote Originally Posted by short skirts
    The bartender was short with you and could've handled the situation a bit more diplomaticly in my opnion. Understand that when the kitchen is closed, the kitchen is CLOSED. She has to turn the fryers off and grill at a certain time so they can cool down so she can turn the exhaust fan off before she leaves. I think she was being straight with you and offering something she didn't have to and you demanded more. You pissed her off because she was going to do something she didn't have to to be nice and accomodate your need for food. She wasn't able to make you exactly what you wanted and you didn't understand that or the reason why. She took offense to you being demanding. She should only have to say it once.
    No I wasn't saying it in a demanding demeanor at all, and she wasn't being direct at all. She basically said "I'll see what we have left," which left a lot of room for wondering WHAT they had left. When I said "yeah, if you have mozzarella sticks or fries or basic bar food, you know" I said it in a kinda floaty, ditzy, indecisive voice. Partly because I was tired, partly because I was a little lightheaded from the one stiff drink Bob had made for me at the party, and partly because I am a bit wishy-washy at times. So instead of specifying a definitive yes or no, she said "We have potato salad and a few other things. I'll see what I can do. What would work for you?" So I just nonchalantly said "yeah, the high-carb bar food would work." It was two unspecific people going back and forth without really coming to a conclusion, and it only lasted like 2mins total. It was more of a lack of communication, going back and forth. It wasn't like I said it in a demanding way...if anything, I wasn't really sure what was going on or what she meant by what she had.

    Maybe I shoulda firmly said what I wanted in a definitive tone and left it at that. And if she said "I can see what I can do for you. What would you guys want?"(after I said what would "work" for me...and I was open to general fried food, not head-set on one specific item), I should have said "Well, I gave you a general idea of what would work, and if you have it, that's great. If not, feel free to list what you do have and I would be interested in buying something." My point is, I did NOT say it in a pushy or demanding voice...and I do not like when people accuse me of being something that I'm not. Most of the times when I get accused of being this "demanding jerk" when if anything it's my wishy-washiness that annoys them, I feel offended and wonder if maybe they're only picking on me because my floaty demeanor makes me look like an easy target to people who are on a power trip. Cause I asked Bob this. And I have a very nicey-nice demeanor and am the type who has to try realllly hard to look like a dickhead.

    If it were a "normal" person, I'd be wondering if I give off the "bully magnet" vibes, or the paranoid demeanor like I'm afraid of being disrespected yet again, or even wonder if I came off as a demanding dick unintentionally. But every single SW girl from Signatures pretty much verified that she is a cokehead and has flipped out over the littlest things, so it makes me wonder if maybe it was just her.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 01-16-2012, 01:41 PM
  2. Annoyed!
    By lexxx in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 10-25-2008, 01:37 PM
  3. Do I have the right to be annoyed?
    By exotica268 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 07-04-2008, 05:32 PM
  4. I'm seriously about to snap, vent vent vent
    By PrincessShea in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 12-21-2007, 03:20 PM
  5. Weekend Commentary time - disrespecting religions
    By Melonie in forum Political Poo
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-22-2005, 10:59 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •