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Thread: Still hanging out with strippers

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    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Still hanging out with strippers

    Hi again gals. Let me reintroduce myself before posing my questions. Five months ago I was foolishly asking if I really had a chance with this stripper running a white knight con pretending to be a friend(OTC). Of course yall were right in that I had no chance as it was illusion/lies that revealed themselves eventually by cutting off the money.

    Here's my question:
    Have you ever been able to introduce a guy you met at your club to those you care without him being rejected?

    A girl who I met in the club was called a slut by her baby daddy when she told him over the phone I was over her place (and we were just painting her window with a huge santa claus, nothing more). With a different girl, her sister called me a pervert to my face pointing out I'm ten years older (although I don't look it) when I showed up to pick the girl up to have a dinner date even though I had spent the prior nearly-24 hours innocently with this girl. There is a different girl I drive to work/errands every other day but her live-in unemployed baby daddy is completely against even meeting me let alone us all being friends so he can trust her with me for more than twenty minutes without calling.

    Why do I ask? I have no clue how to introduce this one special girl to my parents. My parents judged my sister negatively when she stripped. This special girl who happens to be a stripper have been completely honorable and honest with me. It has been non-financial between her and I. I've even been introduced to her brother but then it was as a friend of someone else (yet another stripper) who was with all of us at the time. I accept her for who she is. I just want to be accepted by those she cares about and visa versa.

    It's a worthy thing to know how to do. How to do handle people you care about who would judge guys you met through the club and therefore you too?

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith View Post
    Of course yall were right in that I had no chance as it was illusion/lies that revealed themselves eventually by cutting off the money.
    Sorry to hear that bro. Now, stop stretching the illusion and you wont feel victimized by a lack of funds. The reality IS the illusion, nothing more...which is why it ends when the money does. Understand that, and you wont every have to use your bank like emotional collateral which even happens among people who've never stepped foot in the sex industry. Disgusting.
    Here's my question:
    Have you ever been able to introduce a guy you met at your club to those you care without him being rejected?
    You know better than this, Smith. That's not your question. This is:

    I just want to be accepted by those she cares about and visa versa.
    I prepared this LOOOONNNGGGG post with all my observations on it. But I saved it, I may post it when this thread has run it's course. However, understand that your use of "baby daddy" clearly paints an image of you discrediting an active father in a child's life and a family that obviously accepted him more than you, at this point, and your inability to deal with that as of now.

    It's a worthy thing to know how to do. How to do handle people you care about who would judge guys you met through the club and therefore you too?
    Simple. It is really simple. And unfortunately people make it soooo complicated. Do you like her? She's CHOOSING you as of this moment, and you are CHOOSING her. Treat her with respect and make her continue to choose you over the oppressive views of her loved ones, and you will continue to choose her over the oppressive views of your family. And in time, those who truly care for you will care for her because YOU do, and vice versa.

    For her family: As long as you are a mature adult about this the problem will correct itself in time.

    IN OTHER WORDS. THAT "BABY DADDY" HAS A NAME, YOU WILL ALWAYS USE IT. Never seek to discredit those who she loves who speak ill of you. Seek only to show her that it is her choice and as long as she choses you, you will do your best to make that decision easier. If they are TRULY WRONG smith, the problem will correct itself. It needs no defense from you. By discrediting them, you strengthen their argument. By trying not to discredit them, you strengthen their argument. You ONLY win when you respect their opinion, even though it is against you with harsh words, simply because they care for that same "very special person" you do. (Even if "slut" gets thrown around, you bite that tongue and do NOT drop to that level.)

    For Your Family: Their acceptance of her does not matter. Yours does. If they disapprove it's only because they care about YOU. So in time, they will either approve of her because they care about you and see the results of her actions, or will accept her because you do.

    If this does not happen. Seek new family.

    The Round Table was founded in patience, humility, and meekness.Thou art never to do outrageousity, nor murder, and always to flee treason, by no means to be cruel, and always to do ladies, damosels, and gentle women succour. Also, to take no battles in a wrongful quarrel for no law nor for no world's goods.
    -- To be a Knight.

    Ironic, No?
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    Insightful. Thanks. I'd love to read what else you wrote on this.

    Lets put the knight stuff behind us though at least for this discussion. Even if it applies, I doubt I'll understand what you are saying as being a knight has other meaning in the context of cons done to me. I still sometimes get taken for as much as $100 by women falsely requesting succour, but at least it isn't four digit assistance anymore. One recently actually was sobbing in my arms about her cousin committing suicide that night and wanting to leave early but not having enough to pay her bills yet. Can you believe she used that (which I didn't believe happened but apparently did happen) to work me for money? Apparently she even brags to the other strippers about taking me for the $100 which was supposed to be a loan. I could go on and on.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    As long as you keep rewarding them with money when they give you sob stories (any money), they will keep trying. Hell, they'll keep trying for a while after you stop giving them money, because you have in the past. But if you just quit giving them money when they pull that crap, they'll eventually see the well has dried up and move on to other targets.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    ^^ actually, with me a creative story can be a plus. I'll laugh it off. I mean none of it is real anyway, might as well be something wild.

    A dancer needs to hit me with "My kids are stuck on the moon, i need dances to make enough money for a rescue mission." She'd have me for life.

    Fuck, none of it's real anyway. Might as well be outlandish.


    Bridgette: "I need money for the ritual to prevent Lord Yog Sathoth from entering this world and devouring it all."

    Me: "SOLD!"

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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith View Post
    Insightful. Thanks. I'd love to read what else you wrote on this.

    Lets put the knight stuff behind us though at least for this discussion. Even if it applies, I doubt I'll understand what you are saying as being a knight has other meaning in the context of cons done to me. I still sometimes get taken for as much as $100 by women falsely requesting succour, but at least it isn't four digit assistance anymore. One recently actually was sobbing in my arms about her cousin committing suicide that night and wanting to leave early but not having enough to pay her bills yet. Can you believe she used that (which I didn't believe happened but apparently did happen) to work me for money? Apparently she even brags to the other strippers about taking me for the $100 which was supposed to be a loan. I could go on and on.
    Yeaaaa, smith, I can tell you're pretty genuine, or trying to be.....

    SO.... I mean that's a tangent, and I understand your point... but understand that that entire point of view is why your relationship is fraught with issue.

    Forget she's a stripper. Get to know her, and then you'll truly treat her like she's a good person who works as a stripper. Not just "happens to be"
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Veteran Member datchapin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by Madcap View Post
    ^^ actually, with me a creative story can be a plus. I'll laugh it off. I mean none of it is real anyway, might as well be something wild.

    A dancer needs to hit me with "My kids are stuck on the moon, i need dances to make enough money for a rescue mission." She'd have me for life.

    Fuck, none of it's real anyway. Might as well be outlandish.


    Bridgette: "I need money for the ritual to prevent Lord Yog Sathoth from entering this world and devouring it all."

    Me: "SOLD!"
    Wait that's it. If they fed me that story I'd have to watch that. Sob stories can get boring, but a ritual to prevent Lord whatever from entering this world. How often do you get that? I'd give a lot more money if she let me watch that ritual.

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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by datchapin View Post
    ...Sob stories can get boring, but a ritual to prevent Lord whatever from entering this world. How often do you get that? I'd give a lot more money if she WERE NAKED AND SERIOUSLY GRINDING ON MY LAP WHILE SHE let me watch that ritual.
    Fixed

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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    I'm having some trouble understanding why a dancer you have such a casual, friendly relationship with needs to be introduced to your parents at all. Is this not rushing things....a lot?

    I understand that you think of her as "special," but you seem to bend over backwards in your post to emphasize that you have been nothing but friendly, casual and honorable, which I'm interpreting to be non-physical. So you consider yourself a good friend and nothing else, correct?

    If that's the case, I really see no benefit at all in introducing her to your parents. I see a lot of downside, particularly since you already know their views, and you'd be exposing her to that negative response. Why do this to her?

    If you think more in terms of what makes her comfortable and happy, I'd certainly avoid situations that put her on the spot with people who've already made clear their disapproval. You will not win over people this narrow-minded very quickly, if ever.

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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    I'm beginning to think our dancer friend is a completely anomalous phenomenon.
    She has never once tried a con on us for money and she has welcomed us to drop by her house anytime and invited us to her daughter's birthday party. She took in another little girl whose family has drug problems, she's trying to help her brother who has made a mess of his life and has also taken her Mom in to help her out. She's also trying to help her Dad who has bad health problems. She doesn't have money to throw around and yet she is generous to a fault.

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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    The entire premise seems completely forced and artificial, frankly.

    Plus, what TOO said.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by not_a_custy View Post
    I'm beginning to think our dancer friend is a completely anomalous phenomenon.
    She has never once tried a con on us for money and she has welcomed us to drop by her house anytime and invited us to her daughter's birthday party. She took in another little girl whose family has drug problems, she's trying to help her brother who has made a mess of his life and has also taken her Mom in to help her out. She's also trying to help her Dad who has bad health problems. She doesn't have money to throw around and yet she is generous to a fault.
    What does "your dancer friend" have to do with this thread?? In fact, if you see her as such a regular gal, why do you feel the need to come on a stripper site and post ongoing bragging crap about how "normal" and great "your dancer friend" is? Why is she "your dancer friend" and not just your fucking FRIEND???

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    This is WHEREEEEE the party ends,

    I can't sit here list-en-ing to youuuuuu

    You and your dancer friiiieeeennnnd
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by not_a_custy View Post
    I'm beginning to think our dancer friend is a completely anomalous phenomenon.
    She has never once tried a con on us for money and she has welcomed us to drop by her house anytime and invited us to her daughter's birthday party. She took in another little girl whose family has drug problems, she's trying to help her brother who has made a mess of his life and has also taken her Mom in to help her out. She's also trying to help her Dad who has bad health problems. She doesn't have money to throw around and yet she is generous to a fault.
    Why are you still here? You have never even been to a SC, by your own proclamation. Yes, some strippers are hustling loser bitches. Smith attracts this specific type of stripper. They can smell the PL on him.

    Others are normal girls with a job in a bar. Havn't you seen that here on Stripperweb?

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post
    What does "your dancer friend" have to do with this thread?? In fact, if you see her as such a regular gal, why do you feel the need to come on a stripper site and post ongoing bragging crap about how "normal" and great "your dancer friend" is? Why is she "your dancer friend" and not just your fucking FRIEND???
    Because he's not "fucking" her....?????

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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    lol You guys are funny and touchy too

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    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    From the looks at the thread, I expect it'll get locked soon.

    I was expecting for more of an abstract discussion listing things such as "She works at a bar." or "I met her at a bar." so I did not include all the personal detail. You gave me what I needed though so I appreciate the personal advice.

    Here's the detail that seemed to be needed to make sense of my comments: She wanted to meet my parents because it was necessary if she was to be involved in the condo shopping I am doing these couple weeks. She has been decorating her place and wanted to decorate mine (which would be her pleasure and do me a big favor cause otherwise I'd have to hire someone). She wanted to help me find one that I didn't have to buy new tile, counter tops, cabinets, repaint, etc. But she's had to reschedule two out of four dates this past week so it has been understood without even directly saying it that she has not earned enough trust to meet my parents yet now. Problem solved for now.

    I seem to still invite strippers into my life despite the pain some of them have caused so I appologize if I need a little clarity or a reality check from you all from time to time. It has been strongly suggested to me that I should go to singles bars even if that means going there with a female friend (most of my friends are female or married). I guess not having my "bank [as] emotional collateral" makes me much less confident in those situations, but I'm told it could be even more effective there as strippers are rarely impressed by money but I think that's a topic for another forum.

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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    As Bridgette says:

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post
    What does "your dancer friend" have to do with this thread?? In fact, if you see her as such a regular gal, why do you feel the need to come on a stripper site and post ongoing bragging crap about how "normal" and great "your dancer friend" is? Why is she "your dancer friend" and not just your fucking FRIEND???
    I think you like the idea she's a stripper - it's a mental image that does have erotic overtones for a large percentage of the male population.

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith View Post
    I seem to still invite strippers into my life despite the pain some of them have caused so I appologize if I need a little clarity or a reality check from you all from time to time. It has been strongly suggested to me that I should go to singles bars even if that means going there with a female friend (most of my friends are female or married). I guess not having my "bank [as] emotional collateral" makes me much less confident in those situations, but I'm told it could be even more effective there as strippers are rarely impressed by money but I think that's a topic for another forum.
    My reality check for how guys mentally view girls in this industry? Some refer to them as 'dancers' and some refer to them as 'strippers'. It's not infallible, but I tend to find that a guy's choice of word does reveal something about his mental model of a 'stripper'.

    I'd go back and think very carefully how you actually view this girl. Are you attracted to her for who she is or what she does? The feeling I get from your posts is that part of the attraction you get from knowing this girl is because of what she does.

    If so, that attitude will project, and you'll always be partially viewed by her as an actual/potential customer.

    Phil.

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    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    Ok reality check time (and opportunity to deservedly ridicule me too if you wish).

    The girl I originally posted about six months ago decided to dance one day for christmas money at a bar she works at (she was a dancer before I helped her to stop and she now works two jobs as a bartender.) I got there and when she was able to come over we went straight to dancing. A couple dances in I told her "It feels good just to be touched." which it did as I developed true feelings of love (the only one in past ten years) of the type that simply don't go away after 5 months or 5 years (foolish me) for this girl over the about eight months we were together with me as a customer. So she asks me about this other girl at the bar who I'm always giving rides to and I reassure her that was only rides and 100% platonic (true too). Out of the blue a song or two later, she stops dancing briefly and looks me in the eyes and tells me she wants to start over where we left off except this time with her doing for me too instead of me just doing for her. She wants to mend our friendship. Nowhere close to taking even half the money I had brought to spend (and she knew it), a couple dances later we stop when she realizes she might be on stage soon. She says she can't dance for me when she gets back down because she has to leave to go to her other job as she is already late. I ask her if we can talk for a little bit. Since she has to go to her other job we stop a song before we had to so we would have time to talk. When we get to talking (after she gets down from stage), over about a period of ten minutes of people interrupting and her being silly and a little drunk, I get all the words in to explain to her these days I don't put up with a whole lot of confusion: it's either dating, good friend, or customer or the various obvious mixes of those. I can't get her to tell me which. I tell her I see perhaps one of the mixes of friend and customer. She just keeps saying its more of in the grey area (not black or white in or out of an area). So I ask her if that means she will go out on a date? Her answer is not on a weekend but on a weekday. I reluctantly allow that we will figure it out day to day then. She tells me how bad she feels about us falling out. She spontaneously admits to all kinds of positives aspects of how I treated her. Eventually she is like looking me in the eye, grabbing my head with both her hands, and giving me peck kisses on the lips (more times than the total kisses I got combined in the eight months we had been hanging out). Normally I don't kiss and tell but I hope yall don't judge me for that this time. She is all happy and tells me that she loves me and so I say that she knows I love her too. I tell her thats why it hurt so much to love her and then not even have her in my life as a friend so hopefully at the very least we can have that now. I tell her I have to go before she gets me drunk because (as she knows) I have plans tonight.

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    Default Re: Still hanging out with strippers

    Hey, your parents already know what kind of women you run around with so why try to cover it up. If you can't be honest with them then give it up.

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