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Thread: Girls not wanting to make money

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    Featured Member echomadison's Avatar
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    Default Girls not wanting to make money

    Ok so i have been wondering about something for a while now. I know all you guys are gonna be thinking "Why do you care?" and things of this sort but I just gotta figure it out.
    There is a girl I work with, I have known her for a long time, I wouldnt call her a friend but she is a work associate. We have a wierd history that includes us being roommates for a couple years and best friends for a couple years...bla bla she changed, for the worse, and we drifted apart. This isnt the point, just trying to give alittle backstory, if you will.
    Ok so I hang with her at work, when its slow and we talk and drink and all that because she is fun to talk with when I am bored. Here is my question...well alittle more detail followed by the question.
    She has a "unique" look, meaning she is really goth...black hair, piercings, sleeves (tattoos) and wears all black...everyone at the club (dancers) thinks she is the most beautiful girl who ever walked the face of the earth. She is really pretty, not my taste, but she has very striking features...only problem is she doesnt care about making money at work.
    Why would someone work 7 hours a night, taking their clothes, dancing on a stage for next to nothing? And I really do mean next to nothing...most nights she doesnt even make her house fee ($30)
    I have no doubt that if she actually tried, she would make decent money but she refuses to try...Why?
    She always bitches about how she doesnt make any money, yet she refuses to change her look or attitude in order to make more money...I have even tried to help her out when she is sitting with me and my regular by making him buy dances from her because I feel bad...she bitches about that!
    So yeah, why would you sit around making no money, bitching about how you arent making any money, and still come to work to make no money?
    I know its really odd but its been bothering me and I cant just ask her because she is really sensitive about EVERYTHING! I would ask someone else but they would know who I was talking about and I dont wanna start anything over my curiousity...

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    im not sure why someone would do this on a regular basis.
    but i know some nights i have that attitude where i just can't deal with the shit and i don't try hard - although i would always make sure i made more than house fee. i think sometimes rejection can be hard to cope with and the hustle is a head f**k.
    but is she like this every shift she works? if so, maybe she likes the idea of being a dancer but doesn't actually have it in her to do the hard work that it takes to actually make money as a dancer.

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    Veteran Member Laylas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    I once danced with a hippie/feminist chick who told me she danced because it was "goddess work" and didn't give a shit about money.

    She smoked a LOT of opium, though.

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    Featured Member echomadison's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    I work with her 2-3 days a week and she is always like this...I might see her make money like once every couple of weeks...and still most of those times it seems to be accidental. Like as in a guy will come ask her for a dance and then just keep getting them, I have seen her LD and they look really good. But see the rejection part doesnt even make sense because she doesnt even try, most of the time she wont even pull the wanna-dance BS! Why would you want the "dancer status" if that means not being able to pay your bills? I swear to you this girl has to make like $100 a week...and she works 3-4 days! But like I said, she occasionally has a good night where she makes some money but they seem to be very far and few between!

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    BAHAHA I think the original post describes me to very tee. Well, not exactly but close enough.

    Firstly, I'm still a newb (yep that's my excuse ha) so I'm still trying to get my head around talking to people I remotely have no interest in whatsoever, nor am I sexually attracted to them in any way which makes it even harder. Plus, I find it hard to make the transition between chit chat and closing in on a sale. I know all the tips and have read all the threads, but when it comes to the crunch I still chicken out.

    Secondly, I've always been the girl to be really self-conscious about herself - what am I even doing working in a SC, I know! - so I'm still hesitant about approaching people in the fear that I'll get rejected. Yes it's illogical, but I'm slowing working on being more out-going -- operative word being slowly. I've still got a LOT to learn (a regular, who I lost my "dancing virginity" to, came back last night and he admitted that my first dance was terrible! Oh the shame... but then he bought another one so I could "practice", yay).

    Thirdly, I'm usually more laissez-faire on a weekday with no house fees because I'm not really losing anything. True, I'd better be off at home but if I get to leave with anything in the hundreds in my garter by the end of the night, then I'm a happy camper and most of the time I can get away with that without *really* trying.

    But even when I don't try and don't make money, I'll never EVER bitch about it to anyone (or will try to cover up my sour mood as well as possible). I find it better on myself and especially on other dancers if one stays optimistic no matter what. Besides, someone who doesn't at least try really isn't in the position to bitch if they're not getting off their asses and are doing something about it!

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    Featured Member echomadison's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    Quote Originally Posted by Eevee View Post
    BAHAHA I think the original post describes me to very tee. Well, not exactly but close enough.

    Firstly, I'm still a newb (yep that's my excuse ha) so I'm still trying to get my head around talking to people I remotely have no interest in whatsoever, nor am I sexually attracted to them in any way which makes it even harder. Plus, I find it hard to make the transition between chit chat and closing in on a sale. I know all the tips and have read all the threads, but when it comes to the crunch I still chicken out.

    Secondly, I've always been the girl to be really self-conscious about herself - what am I even doing working in a SC, I know! - so I'm still hesitant about approaching people in the fear that I'll get rejected. Yes it's illogical, but I'm slowing working on being more out-going -- operative word being slowly. I've still got a LOT to learn (a regular, who I lost my "dancing virginity" to, came back last night and he admitted that my first dance was terrible! Oh the shame... but then he bought another one so I could "practice", yay).

    Thirdly, I'm usually more laissez-faire on a weekday with no house fees because I'm not really losing anything. True, I'd better be off at home but if I get to leave with anything in the hundreds in my garter by the end of the night, then I'm a happy camper and most of the time I can get away with that without *really* trying.

    But even when I don't try and don't make money, I'll never EVER bitch about it to anyone (or will try to cover up my sour mood as well as possible). I find it better on myself and especially on other dancers if one stays optimistic no matter what. Besides, someone who doesn't at least try really isn't in the position to bitch if they're not getting off their asses and are doing something about it!

    A viable excuse like yours, being new, I understand... She is by no means new, she knows whats up, she has been dancing for 4 years now. And she doesnt "tell" me that she doesnt even make her house fee, I just always hear the manager guy asking her if she will have her house tomorrow...so I know. But she does quite frequently bitch to me about not making any money, and then kinda glares at me come the end of the night when I am counting out my money. As if I am doing to it be mean to her? No I just dont wanna sit in my car, in the parking lot and do it-its not my fault she is lazy or whatever!

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    eevee u are hot shit what do u need to be self-conscious about!!!!!

    well if she does it on a regular basis as u said i have no idea!! does she sit and drink at the bar??

    i noticed another dancer spending nearly everything she made last saturday on drinks at the bar and she was so wasted. i would never drink at work unless someone else was shouting. im pretty serious about my earnings coz:

    - im taking my clothes off
    - im dancing around with a tiny piece of string barely covering my arse (well u get the picture i wont be too graphic) for wankers who dont tip when i do stage shows
    - im working late hours
    - im working around people smoking and i hate cigarette smoke
    - im away from my boyfriend
    - im paying a house fee
    etc etc

    so i make sure i make a minimum every night.
    i suppose this girl that u work with doesn't set budgets or anything.
    if u really care about her maybe ask her whether she sets a budget (obviously she doesnt) but it might get the convo going.

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    Featured Member echomadison's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    eevee u are hot shit what do u need to be self-conscious about!!!!!

    well if she does it on a regular basis as u said i have no idea!! does she sit and drink at the bar??

    i noticed another dancer spending nearly everything she made last saturday on drinks at the bar and she was so wasted. i would never drink at work unless someone else was shouting. im pretty serious about my earnings coz:

    - im taking my clothes off
    - im dancing around with a tiny piece of string barely covering my arse (well u get the picture i wont be too graphic) for wankers who dont tip when i do stage shows
    - im working late hours
    - im working around people smoking and i hate cigarette smoke
    - im away from my boyfriend
    - im paying a house fee
    etc etc

    so i make sure i make a minimum every night.
    i suppose this girl that u work with doesn't set budgets or anything.
    if u really care about her maybe ask her whether she sets a budget (obviously she doesnt) but it might get the convo going.
    I have had a similar convo with her about it in the past, which consisted of her asking me how she could make more money. I told her if she really wanted to make more money she should "tone her look down" and look more feminine and more friendly. I told her to try and add alittle color to her wardrobe, alittle less black eye makeup and no bright red lipstick. I am a firm believer in the fashion tip of "do either dark eyes or dark lips but not both"...she sat there and agreed with me and said I was right, tried it for a couple of days and then quit and went back to her old ways. She said "You were wrong, I didnt make anymore money than when I dress the way I want", her problem was her attitude, she didnt change that! And we dont have a "bar" so to speak, its BYOB but yes she does sit around drinking but doesnt ever get drunk. She drinks beer all night, always staying practically sober and still not making money...

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    i suppose it's the same as the girls who sit in the dressing room all night. i swear every time i go in there to check the table roster (which we must check about once an hour) the same couple of girls always seem to be in there just sitting around. i don't get it, i try to work so hard when im there to make it worth my while.
    at least u have tried to help her but if she has no motivation to change there isn't much u can do.

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    wow, she sounds like a class act! Some people enjoy being miserable. I always steer clear of those kinds of folks, they also tend to be energy vampires.

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    Featured Member echomadison's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    Oh I have long since given upon trying to "help her" so to speak, but I still feel the need to throw her a bone every now and again. Ok that sounded really bad, but I didnt mean it like that. I just mean she will sit with me and my regular ALL NIGHT LONG! And after a while I start to feel bad so I make him buy a dance from her so she at least makes something! Its just so crazy because guys practically THROW themselves at her in real life, but in stripperworld she doesnt make shit...

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    Featured Member echomadison's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M View Post
    wow, she sounds like a class act! Some people enjoy being miserable. I always steer clear of those kinds of folks, they also tend to be energy vampires.
    Oh hell yeah! That girl can drag me down at work quicker than anyone else I know! If I get to sitting and drinking with her, listening to her bitch thenher laziness starts rubbing off on me. I start thinking, "Oh I dont even feel like working" or "Fuck those dudes they can kiss my ass" NO GOOD!!! The only difference seems to be that, (not to sound like some conceited bitch)but I dont have to work as hard to make money as her because I have a more normal/mainstream look...I can hit up the older guys who have money, where as they think she is a walking pincushion freak and are scared! So many guys I sit with are like "Whoa thats alittle much" when she walks by or goes onstage, and I feel the need to defend her like "She is REALLY good onstage" or "She gives killer dancers, dont be intimidated" Sometimes I feel like her freaking publicist!

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    Featured Member echomadison's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    And it even happened a couple nights ago...she had been sitting with me and my regular most of the night, I had him give her some money for her company ($20) and had him buy a dance from her (again nothing much, $20)and she apparently felt like trying to work the room so she left. She came back aout 10 minutes later, plopped down in the chair and says "Ok so I tried literally every guy in here and they all said no" I said "damn girl you work fast, you asked all those dudes in less then 30 minutes?" (there was at least 20 guys in the club if not more) She says "I asked every one of them if they wanted a dance and they all said no" I told her maybe she should try actually sitting down and making a convo before hitting em up for dances...and heres what she said to me.."Thats not how I make my money" I actually just sat there dumbfounded...huh? Thats not how you make your money? YOU DONT EVER MAKE MONEY, dont you see that?

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    I know a girl a lot like that. She insists that "wannadance" is an appropriate hustle. I actually wanted her to go to DancerWeath with me, when they were doing the "bring a friend for free" promotion, and she refused. "What do they teach you?" she asked. "How to talk more money out of these guys" I told her. "I don't want to talk to them!" Fine, then just sit your broke ass at the bar and wait for your ONE regular to come in.


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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    I heart regulars! But alas she doesnt have regulars, never has had one before...she has people she calls regulars but I dont consider a cute boy who is trying to woo you a regular-especially when they spend NO money!

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    I worked at a club where 75% of the girls were like your friend! They would sit around all night complaining about not making money, (even if the club was packed) and spend what little they made on drinks. (or drugs) I don't understand it...I guess some of us are hustlers, some are not.
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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    Quote Originally Posted by Krissy Kennedy View Post
    I worked at a club where 75% of the girls were like your friend! They would sit around all night complaining about not making money, (even if the club was packed) and spend what little they made on drinks. (or drugs) I don't understand it...I guess some of us are hustlers, some are not.
    And I guess, some people want to make money at their JOB
    and some people dont want to make money at their JOB

    But meh, why bother?

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    Ehh, I guess some girls just do it for the attention. Or the "art". I can't imagine putting up with all the crap we do for no money, but if that's what she wants to do, fine by me. More money for me

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    Quote Originally Posted by echomadison View Post
    And I guess, some people want to make money at their JOB
    and some people dont want to make money at their JOB

    But meh, why bother?
    Well, that's the thing...being an "old school" dancer, I DO treat this as a job, whereas some of the younger girls/new girls treat it like a big party. If I am taking the time to get ready for work and showing up for a 7 hour shift, you can bet your ass I'm going to do everything in my power to squeeze every dollar out of every customer I can. (sounds harsh, but hey, it's WORK) I don't equate working with my social life or party scene.
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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    Don't know. There was a girl at my old club who was like this (not in looks, but attitude). She was super cute! Tried dying her hair blond, ruined her hair and got a pixie cut. It looked great.

    She does the wanna dance thing as well. She gets bites. She doesn't leave with nothing but most definately NEXT to nothing. I don't know why she goes to work. She would occasionally have 3 or 4 hundred dollar nights, but maybe twice every three weeks... I didn't get it.

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    She sounds depressed. Not the basic "shake it off, emotional kind" but the 'chemical imbalanced, doesn't realize she's depressed" kind.
    Or she just likes to perform, but not hustle. How's her stage? If she's really getting into it, maybe that's the case.

    Quote Originally Posted by echomadison View Post
    Ok so i have been wondering about something for a while now. I know all you guys are gonna be thinking "Why do you care?" and things of this sort but I just gotta figure it out.
    There is a girl I work with, I have known her for a long time, I wouldnt call her a friend but she is a work associate. We have a wierd history that includes us being roommates for a couple years and best friends for a couple years...bla bla she changed, for the worse, and we drifted apart. This isnt the point, just trying to give alittle backstory, if you will.
    Ok so I hang with her at work, when its slow and we talk and drink and all that because she is fun to talk with when I am bored. Here is my question...well alittle more detail followed by the question.
    She has a "unique" look, meaning she is really goth...black hair, piercings, sleeves (tattoos) and wears all black...everyone at the club (dancers) thinks she is the most beautiful girl who ever walked the face of the earth. She is really pretty, not my taste, but she has very striking features...only problem is she doesnt care about making money at work.
    Why would someone work 7 hours a night, taking their clothes, dancing on a stage for next to nothing? And I really do mean next to nothing...most nights she doesnt even make her house fee ($30)
    I have no doubt that if she actually tried, she would make decent money but she refuses to try...Why?
    She always bitches about how she doesnt make any money, yet she refuses to change her look or attitude in order to make more money...I have even tried to help her out when she is sitting with me and my regular by making him buy dances from her because I feel bad...she bitches about that!
    So yeah, why would you sit around making no money, bitching about how you arent making any money, and still come to work to make no money?
    I know its really odd but its been bothering me and I cant just ask her because she is really sensitive about EVERYTHING! I would ask someone else but they would know who I was talking about and I dont wanna start anything over my curiousity...
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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    I have a lot of ink and a club persona that includes red lipstick and slow alternative rock dance sets. I also have a good colleague at work who is, in every respect, a beautiful black woman. Her sets and club persona are exactly the opposite of mine; she's energetic, dances to hip hop and exudes 'party'. She makes more money than I do, so she's often given me advice in the past like changing my music or ditching the red lipstick. Until just last week she was talking to one of her customers about me while I was onstage. The guy said to her, "You may not like the music but it suits her." She told me about it later and realized that he was right. A heavily tattooed, slow-moving dancer with Britney Spears blaring isn't gonna work.

    On the other hand, I never bitch. I recognize that I have a somewhat limited appeal, but I make plenty of money, more than some and less than others. I'm a good entertainer, I have a wicked sense of humor and the guys who are willing to take a chance on something exotic instead of a cookie-cutter blonde are usually pleasantly surprised and willing to pay me for my company. I have a lot of regulars. All that being said, your friend's problem sounds like an attitudinal or emotional problem rather than a stage-presence or fashion problem. Sounds like you've given her plenty of pep-talks and apparently she's not learning by example either. If she's really a time-suck and energy-vampire you might have to just avoid her. She's probably depressed, and though you can be a listening ear, you can't solve whatever underlying problem is there. As they say in Codependents Anonymous: Detach!

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    I don't see how she affords her "lifestyle", if I made $100 per week, I'd be homeless!!! There's some girls at my club that are like that, this one girl who's really nice just doesn't make much money because she sits at the bar all night and doesn't work very hard. She's even admitted me that I work harder for my money than she does. Ok! For me, if I'm going to spend all that time & energy just getting ready for work then I sure as hell am going to bust my ass making as much as I can while I'm there. If I'm not going to make money, I'd rather sit at home, not sit at the club!!! Not to sound mean, but I'd keep my distance from her, I think she'll just bring you down and hurt your money because "misery loves company" and she'll hurt your hustle if you continue to hang out with her. I know you care about her but if someone doesn't want to help themselves, there's not much you can do, just worry about yourself!

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    OOOh I used to be just like your co-worker .......I really can not say what my deal was BUT at the time to me I felt kinda shy and it was hard for me to muster up the balls to ask the guys for dances . Sometimes I would even look away if they were staring at me . I know like whats the point ? I couldn't help it though I just shy , I was never really beautiful growing up but I knew I had a kick ass body and I LOVE to dance so it just felt like a good fit .

    I wish that I had been more of a hustler though because I missed out on hundreds of thousands ......the only way I made it was either through my regulars which I had because they are in the clubs ALL the time and really know how to talk to us OR I could get just about anyone into champagne ....I fucked up bad by being so shy .

    You can't being shy and I know how it looked on the outside , like I was lazy or a snob BUT that was in no way the truth .

    You should not be hard this girl I am sure if it was her personality to be out going and very confident she would be more successful BUT hey whathca gonna do ??

    I remember I was sitting there one night in Boston and this guy was talking to me and he turned to me and said " You think your so hot here but you have NO idea , you would be just another pretty face in Vegas ....." I whipped my head around and I am pretty sure my jaw was hanging open .....I remember thinking ME !! You think I think I am that pretty !??!?!?! Wow .......
    Don't you just love me ?!?

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    Default Re: Girls not wanting to make money

    Quote Originally Posted by JennyDahl View Post
    OOOh I used to be just like your co-worker .......I really can not say what my deal was BUT at the time to me I felt kinda shy and it was hard for me to muster up the balls to ask the guys for dances . Sometimes I would even look away if they were staring at me . I know like whats the point ? I couldn't help it though I just shy , I was never really beautiful growing up but I knew I had a kick ass body and I LOVE to dance so it just felt like a good fit .

    I wish that I had been more of a hustler though because I missed out on hundreds of thousands ......the only way I made it was either through my regulars which I had because they are in the clubs ALL the time and really know how to talk to us OR I could get just about anyone into champagne ....I fucked up bad by being so shy .

    You can't being shy and I know how it looked on the outside , like I was lazy or a snob BUT that was in no way the truth .

    You should not be hard this girl I am sure if it was her personality to be out going and very confident she would be more successful BUT hey whathca gonna do ??

    I remember I was sitting there one night in Boston and this guy was talking to me and he turned to me and said " You think your so hot here but you have NO idea , you would be just another pretty face in Vegas ....." I whipped my head around and I am pretty sure my jaw was hanging open .....I remember thinking ME !! You think I think I am that pretty !??!?!?! Wow .......
    Oh no that is definately not the case! She is arrogant as hell, way more outgoing than I and would appear to be quite confident. whether this is all a clever facade to deter us all from the truth, that she is insecure, who knows. All I know is, she is not a nice person at all. I have been through alot with her throughout the years, but I have learned not to trust her-shes a snake in the grass! Guys/girls throw themselves at her outside of work, and she uses and manipulates everyone in her path! I dont hold any stock in our little "friendship" because I know how she is...do you think this somehow ties in to the other stuff?

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