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Thread: Drugs wreak havoc

  1. #1
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    Default Drugs wreak havoc

    OK I'm sure some may get a thrill...

    So, my brother with the raging drug addiction has now nearly OD'd three or four times (mostly due to klonopines for all you benzo junkies) in the last three months. I found him not breathing in September and called the paramedics. He has totaled two cars on drugs, falling asleep at the wheel. The second one was today.

    Ever since I found him OD'ing in September I quit work and am about to get evicted. I spend most of my waking hours seeing if he's alive, breathing, and trying to talk to him about his addiction. Plus, since he hardly eats due to his speedballing (oxycontins/methadone/morphines with crack) I always try to feed him. Some may say I shouldn't but I wake up everyday and when I'm in the shower all I can think is maybe I should have gotten to him sooner that night, or what if I didn't go. I just keep seeing flashbacks of him gasping for breath and get scared again.

    So, everyday I wonder if the same thing could happen and I have to be there.

    He recently got an insurance settlement (total fraud) for an accident. It allowed him several months of chronic bingeing.

    Just a month ago he got another 12,000. It's gone. He got arrested a few days after he got it because we called the paramedics because me and my mom saw him falling asleep while standing up and hitting his face. He smoked somme carck before they got there to perk up, but thankfully he had a warrant and spent a week in jail.

    During this time, I stole two cashier's checks for 10, 000. I've had it you know. I said we could sign them over to my dad and he could dole out the money for real expenses - well his fraud lawyer helped him get them reissued and so the latest installment began.

    Thank god he bought a 5,000 car and stereo, but he spent 2, 000 in one week on drugs. That week I drove to another city to find him passed out in his car with his wallet in lap in front of his hotel room. He didn't recognize me. He still didn't the next morning (I was watching him breathe to see if I needed to call 911).

    The binge continued where he was driving his car through several lanes of freeway and still trying to smoke crack.

    He finally went to sleep at me sister's. Lo and behold another night watching him breathe. When I readjusted him in the morning so he could breathe better, 1500 in cash fell out of his pocket. I took it.

    I paid his school 700, bought him car insurance with 200, he owed my sister 170, and we put 480 in my sister's account for him to get a room to rent.

    Well, courtesy of my sister having no balls and her sperm-donor former crack dealer served 10 years boyfriend, my sister listened when her boyfriend said give him the money????

    So she gave him about 400 of what was left two days ago and since then he's nearly OD'd again, totalled his car, got taken by the police to the psych hospital, escaped from the ambulance and was missing.

    I am so pissed at my sister and my psychotic other brother who's here for the holidays - they both gave him money. I begged them not to.

    My mom and me have been monitoring his impending OD's and looking out for him. That bitch never does, in fact tonight she went to a party and bowling while he was being taken to the psych ward and went missing. I told her to give me the money if she couldn't hold on to it, but no.

    So, when I went to her house (she wasn't there) I was so pissed I knocked over the x-mas tree and broke some pots outside. Fucked up yes, but when they are giggling (I'm telling you I finally believe in genetic mental illness)over my brother I went nuts too.

    The bitch and my brother call the cops, try to block me from getting in my car, tell the police I'm a mental health patient and I'm not taking my meds (lying sicko), and she even tried to block my car with her car. Over a tree and some pots while my brother can't even talk without being incomprehensible. Keep in mind this is the same bitch who has low sugar seizures and a coma in February from diabetes and lives alone with a newborn and has low sugars every single day. She also has nearly died many times since I was little.

    So, now my sister and psycho brother filed a report and are getting a restraining order. My junkie brother is going to get one because "I made him have a car accident" and won't let him die and he never wants to see me again.

    Now, my mother calls to tell me that knocking over the x-mas tree was evil. For your info my former alcoholic sister has assaulted physically every single person in this family (except dad) and has thrown me out of her house to sleep in a parking garage, all the while demanding shit from me - cleaning her house, moving her mostly myself, coming from the parking garage to meet her maintence guys to be told it wasn't a favor because I wasn't exactly on time (20 min late and she never said they needed a key, she lied)

    Right now I have no family except my dad. I've let myself be very abused by my sister because she is diabetic and I always worry she may die from a low sugar, so I try not to fight.

    For example, after her exes friend raped me she told me it was my fault and she knows I'm a slut and I have had one night stands. She threw me out to be homeless for several months - keep in mind I've let all these fuckers stay at my house. Assaulting me drunk and sober and coked up.

    Basically I have no one I can talk to. The ex used my need for a friend tonight to demand a whole load of shit, oh, but I can't ask him to get off speed "for our relationship". Anytime I need him he lords it over me. I told him to fuck off tonight.

    I don't have any friends anymore, some have let me know that with my personal and family history it's a bit overwhelming and I know it. I always pretty much laugh and smile but it doesn't bridge the gap. I have no one to talk to and it really hurts.

    I don't know what to do anymore.

  2. #2
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Drugs wreak havoc

    OMG...I feel your pain. I know EXACTLY what your going through.
    My mother is a crack addict, and alcoholic. I have never tried a drug in my life. Thank god she taught me drugs are bad. I never want to end up like her. I have many many stories similar to yorus, but this one was my last straw.

    I was with a guy friend of mine, hanging out at my apartment, my mother was staying with me.( A little backround. I moved out when I was 17. I could not be in her house any longer, with random guys comming over in the middle of the night, doing drugs, whatever, I was scared for my safety. My mother went from apartment to guy to guy, for places to stay after our house was forclosed on. Finally, out of stupid pity, I let her stay with me. first and last time I ever did that.)
    So she was staying at my place, and I was home, hanging out witha guy friend when she comes home with some guy of hers. they were all fucked up. And she started lighting a crack pipe. I saidhell no. You knwo the rules. No drugs in my house. Well, she got pissed off, Im the mother, your the daughter, you cant tell me what to do. I said fuck it, Im leaving. You can stay, Im out of here. She had a car, but no lisence, so I drove her car, so I took her car, and went to another friends house.

    Half way to my friends house, my cell rings. Its the police, claiming my mother reported her car stolen. Then they go on to say my mother told them I was a drug addict, they were comming to pick me up and commit me to a mental health ward because it obviously sounds like I am unstable. I was freaking out. Telling them she gave me permission to use the car, they can take me in and test me, Im clean, but if they test me, I want her tested to, we will see how is dirty...and the cop keep harassing me on the phone, saying they are comming to commit me....
    I hang up, and call the friend who's hosue I was goingto, and tell him whats happening. Im in hysterics. He tells me park on the side of the road, and wait for him, he commign to get me. Meanwhile, my phone rings again. Its the "cops" again. Turns out.....it was my mothers guy dude, playing trick on me. MY OWN MOTHER PUT HIM UP TO IT.

    Well, my guy friend came and got me, we dropped off the car, I packed my shit, and left. never saw her again. I have since moved to Vegas. I speak to her once in a blue moon. She hurt me soo much, how could she do that to me? Howfucked up can you be to your own child?


    Heres my point....

    You can only do so much. You can only help thoes who want help. if my mother ever called me and told me she was sorry, she admits she ahs a problem and wants help, I woudl help her. But ntil then, she is on a path of destruction, and she dont care who she takes down.

    Dont let your family take you down to!! Your better than that. As hard as it is to realize your family sucks, and your better off without them, you have to face it, and concentrate on your own well being. Noone else is gonna take care of you but you.

    When he wants help, be ther eto help him, btu until that day....there is nothing you can do. He is ruining his life, dont let him ruin yours to.

    It is the hardest thign to do, when you realize you have to cut ties with them. Its hard when you find out that a family that is supposed to be loving, and supportive is really just hurting you.

    But, just be there when he is ready for help. Until then, dont let him bring you down. Look out for youself.

    My heart goes out to you. I know how you feel.


    My brother is also on the same path as yours.(thanks to my mothers outstanding parenting.) He is only 21 years old, and has been in and out of jail more times that I remember. Luckily, by the time he started this shit, I was already hardened to it, thanks to my mom. I am sadened by it, he really does have a good heart, but there is nothign I can do for them, except hope and pray, and learn from their mistakes.

  3. #3
    Tart
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    Default Re: Drugs wreak havoc

    I can relate to this in more ways than I care to even write about. But my heart goes out to you because goddamnit i've been there.

    My brother, ... man. I have offically given up on him. For the last 5 years he's been strung out on the same shit your brother is always strunk out on.minus the crack.

    I've had many " final " straws with him, and due to my moms constant worry and upset about us not getting along I still always reach out, which only results into him stealing from me.

    I had to move from Indianapolis to chicago just to have some normalcy and be able to leave my fucking purse out!

    My brother has probably taken somewhere around 10grand or slightly more from me in the course of 3 years.

    He faked I dont know how many kidney stone attacks ( although he did have some ) to get morphine etc.

    His all time low was a year ago, him and his now fiance' stole my mothers cc and she pretended to be my mother. She called the cc office and gve my moms social to get a pin #. they inturn stole 10 grand! 10 fucking grand inless than a month. Because my mother didnt realize it till she got her statement. All of it cash withdrawls , he had nothing to show for it. Goes to prove where he spent the money.

    My mother went to press charges then backed out. why? because he knocked up the cunt that helped him steal. And , my mother didnt want to have the girl giving birth in a jail.

    we really thought my brother had gotten his shit together but he stole again 700 bucks from me a month ago. I stayed at my moms for a few days to visit and ileft my purse out ...I woke up and realized I had done so. He came over in the AM to bring my niece over to me..and couldnt resist.

    to top it off he's now abusing his gf. Back in Sept he claimed that cops had been called for NO reason at his apt. they said that a neighbor had reported loud yelling and a baby always crying. My brother claimed they just got home and allowed the police to come in. They were in there and found pot. So they arrested my brother.

    He gets out of jail ( thanks again to my mother ) and supposedly the next day CPS came and my brother kept claiming the baby wasn't crying etc etc.

    He's claiming its all ludacris that the baby is fine ..she never cries ..blah blah and says someone is setting him up.

    Out of nowhere he says its an ex of mine whom Ive not seen in get this...4 years. However this ex is slightly insane and to make a long story short would completely do anything to hurt me.

    So supposedly he gets in a fight with the ex...and now there are all these charges. He calls me with this story and I tell him im going to get him a lawyer blah blah.

    3 months later is when he stole from the 700. I also got the entire real story from my father while I was visiting in FL. My dad has friends on the force and they told him that my brother and his gf were constantly fighting so loud that the neighbors felt the baby wasn't safe . So they called the police.

    Before my dad found out the truth he got my brother and his gf a house. Yes a fucking house. believeing what my brother told him, my father thought they woulld be better off away from nosey neighbors etc.

    within a week the people my dad knows around the house he bought for them, are calling and saying that my brother and gf are out on the fucking porch fighting and the baby is always screaming.

    Having found all of this out, im fucking done. I feel so incredibly sorry for my niece. But talking to my brother about this shit does nothing.

    I despise his gf as well. She aided in the theft from my mom. So basically she gets whatever she fucking deserves. Spiteful I know but ...

    I just worry about the baby. Living 3 hours away does help some. Its not as in my face as it was when we all lived in the same city. I dont live in fear of being stolen from

    My brother has stolen my sons' money time and time again. they are 11 and 6 and already know to hide their allowances or their uncle is going to take it.

    how fucking sad!

    I even came home early from work one day whenI had a normal 9-5 and found my brother in their bedroom going through their shit. No idea how he got a key and i had to change the locks to my house 3 times .

    Im over helping him, I no longer fucking feel sorry for his ass either. Hes a grown ass man ..he's 24 and I refuse to find pity in the shit he does. Because he does know right from wrong. there is no excuse imo for junkie-isk behavior.

    i could go on and on about the other things he's done., or the fact that there is always some junkie in my life. Be it a realtive or a friend. Now im doing good as far as not tending to them like they were straycats. And i've realized over the years you cant those that dont want it.

    I wish you the best, and i know its holiday season so things are amplified as we start to think about our realitives and wish we could all just get along.

    If i had any advice to give, it would be to see the situation from the standpoint of someone elses eyes. He is so far gone he doesnt care about anything other than a fix. Its nice of you to care for him, but you have your life too . there is nothing wrong with you having a normal life just because he doesnt and cant because lets face it ,...he doesnt want it.

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    Default Re: Drugs wreak havoc

    Thanks you guys.

    In the last few hours both he and my mom got 5150'd. Him its justified. However, it was the tweek dealers upstairs above his gf's that said my mom was a raging speedfreak, funny huh. They are still pissed at me for fronting them off in front of the police when my brother was so tweeked out on their speed he was trying to jump out of the car on the freeway b/c he was seeing people and butcher-knifed his gf's couch.

    They were calling me an addict and well, if you know me a little, I let it rip about how they were giving my brother grams for $10?????? They knew he had money coming.

    They (mom and bro) were just trying to tow his totaled car away...

    I keep wanting to call the hospital to check on him. He took a bunch more klonopines before they got there. I told the nurse everything, but I worry a lot.

    I want to duck tape him into a cocoon and keep him at my house.

    Please believe me when I tell you guys benzos (xanax, valium, klons, ativan, anything ending in -pam) are dangerous, deadly, and addictive. They can relax you so much you stop breathing.

    I love my brother so much. It's so hard to try to walk away even a little. And I will be happy being homeless as long as he's alive. It's stressful, but I always wanted to be nun when I was little and consider this my service in a way (funny stripper/nun huh?).

    I just pray he wakes up and sees how beautiful a person he is without drugs.

  5. #5
    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drugs wreak havoc

    This is going to sound harsh and for that i'm sorry...

    Stop babysitting him. Just stop. You can't fix him, you can't save him. Unless HE wants to stop he isn't going to. I'm sure you know all of this already.



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    Default Re: Drugs wreak havoc

    Listen to Sirona, Sweety. I know it is horrible and you want to help him... but you have to, HAVE TO live your own life, I am sorry that it hurts.....

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    Default Re: Drugs wreak havoc

    In a way, helping him is going to further his addiction and responsibility. He has to really hit rock bottom (whatever that is for the man) before he's going to change, if ever. Having people bail him out, give him money, etc is just making he situation worse. I've never dealt with this as a family member, but I've had friends that have died from their addiction. I used to feel guilty about it- I felt I could have prevented it. As I get older, I realize that I wish they could still be alive, but their drugs were more important than their lives and that's the choice they made. YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM, AND YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIM. I know it's your family, but you cannot let people ruin your life, no matter what they are. If you're almost homeless because of your brother's addiction- then he's ruining your life.

    to your brother, the drugs are more important than his life. Get away from your family. You're being co-dependent, and it's ruining your life too. It's one thing for your brother to ruin his own life- it's crap that he's doing it to others too.

  8. #8
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Drugs wreak havoc

    Yes, You are enabling his addiction. You are not helping him. You are only making it worse for him, by trying to take care of him and helping him, you are letting him take advantage of you. He will not get help until he wants it. Please, dont let him take you down to.

    He does need to hit rock bottom. He need compeltyl cut off. When he has no money for drugs, and has spent his last dollar trying to get drugs, dont feed him. If he knos he can spend all his money on drugs because someone else will give him food, he will never attempt to buy himself food. If he knows he will always have a place to stay, he will never save money to pay his rent.

    Dont enable his addiction.

  9. #9
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drugs wreak havoc

    *thinks about Pooka's currently M.I.A. brother and his drug problems* I feel you, too, hon.

  10. #10
    Featured Member short skirts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drugs wreak havoc

    I really feel for you kittygirl. I know you just don't want to see your brother waste away but you're losing precious moments of your own life and enabling him as you "babysit". It's the hardest thing in the world but if you can't convince him to seek help because he doesn't realize he has a problem you can't sit around and watch him kill himself. I think it would be best to cut him off maybe he'll come around, maybe he won't.....but it's not your responsibility. he's going to do what he's going to do whether or not you're there so why live your life this way?

    I was fortunate when in a similar situation and convinced my loved one to seek help and he did. he thanked me for saving his life afterwards. That's very rare, though, to convince someone they have a problem.

    Best of luck to you, stay tough. Do something and stick to it. Try to keep levelheaded with all the negative people surrounding you.

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