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Thread: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

  1. #1
    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

    The Bucking Bronco: An all time classic. Start by going doggy style on a girl and just when she is really enjoying it, grab onto her tits or hips as hard and tightly as possible and call her a big fat worthless no-good bitch. More than likely she will try to escape. This gives the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

    Snowmobile: While getting a girl while she's on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.

    The Angry Dragon: Immediately after blowing a load in the girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she should look like an angry dragon.

    Houdini: When you’re doing a girl doggy style, you fake an orgasm (spit on her back). When she turns around, blow your load in her face and say, “Abracadabra bitch!”

    The Beefy Dunker/The Jersey Turnpike: Nailing a girl in the ass, then having her suck you off.

    The Chilidog/The Boston Tugboat: Taking a shit on a girl's chest, then proceeding to titty fuck her.

    Sleeping Bag: If you're going down on a really fat girl, you pull her enormous stomach roll of fat over your head.

    The Rusty Trombone: A simultaneous rimjob and handjob.

    Tony Danza: A takeoff of the donkey punch is called the Tony Danza. When you are about to bust while doing a girl from behind, you yell out "Who's the boss bitch?!" Punch her in the back of the head and then yell "Tony Danza!"

    Hot Air Balloon: Farting directly into a chick's mouth

    Alaskan firedragon: Another good take off is one of the angry dragon that is called the alaskan firedragon. When a girl is giving you a blowjob, splooge in her mouth unexpectedly and plug up her mouth immediately after. Then whisper in her ear "I have syphilis" and wait for the man juice to fly out of her nose.

    The Shocker: While fingering a chick with your index and middle fingers, wait until she's good and horny and then quickly stick your pinky into her ass. "Two in the pink, one in the stink."

    Cold Faithful: Blowing your visibly-steaming load outside in the winter-time, like when you get your cock sucked on a ski-lift.

    Dog in a Bathtub: This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.


    The Screwnicorn: When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

    Blumpkin: Getting head while taking a shit

    The Bobsled: Begin by screwing a chick at the top of a staircase. Turn her around and start hammering her from behind while she's looking down the stairs. Then right before your about to blow your load, sweep her hands and legs out from underneath her and ride her down the stairs as your busting.

    The Eiffel Tower: The ultimate double team. The chick gets down on all fours, then each guy takes an end on her, one in front and one in back. Then the two guys lift both their arms in the air and do a huge "high-five", and you've got the Eiffel Tower.

    Vulcan Shocker: Shocker variation, two in the pink (index and middle) two in the stink (ring and pinky) Ahh Spock would be proud.

    The Divot: Put your hand down the pants of some girl with a huge fur pile, grab on to as much of it as you can, scream "Fore!" and rip every last hair out. A real Golphers favorite.

    Screaming Seagul: While doing her on the beach, pull out, dip the tip of your dick in the sand, and then go right back at it. She'll scream like a Pelican.

    Double Houdini: While tag-teaming a girl with your buddy, have on guy doing her in the ass and the other guy getting a hummer.Then have the guy in the back tell her he is gonna blow and then spit on her back. When she turns around, give her the facial of her life. Then when she turns around to face the front again, the guy in the front blows it in her face for the second facial.

    The Pepsi Challenge: Stick one finger in a girls pussy and another one in her ass, then stick either one in her mouth and see if she can guess which hole it was in.


    Fortune Cookie: Get an asian chick, bang her with a condom on, when finished, pull out but leave condom in.

    Fnorking: Competition in teams of 1 man and 1 woman. Trying to cram as many goldfish as possible into a chick's snatch.

    The Andretti: When receiving road head, swerve the car left and right. Her weight shifting will enhance the sensation. Risky maneuver, so it's best if done with a toothless cocksucker and a open road.

    Beverly Hills Whiffer: This move is restricted to those women who think they're God's gift to the world. Find a woman of the above description. Take her home and start doggie styling her. When you're about to blow, corkscrew two fingers into her ass, scraping as much shit as you can from her. Pull out your fingers, reach around her head to stick one finger in each nostril. Pull her head back so she can see you while you yell "So, you think your shit don't stink now ?!"


    Graffiti: Have sex with a married/engaged girl, when she falls asleep write embarrassing , x-rated remarks (or something like "This bitch belongs to John" ) on her back with a big bold permanent marker. She goes home and has the "where the fuck were you" fight. later that day, when she showers the boyfriend/husband sees your graffiti and the fight starts all over again.

    The JFK (aka "The Magic Bullet"): Slip a blindfold on a chick while she is giving you oral. At the same time, have a friend come behind her and pleasure himself behind her. Let em rip at the same time and nail the broad with goo from both sides of her head. She will always question if there was a second shooter or just a magic load.


    Jawbreaker: A blowjob involving three penises at one time. Two Penises is known as Crossed Swords.


    Kenny Roger's Roasters: While doing the bitch in front of the fire, stick it in the pooper and twirl her around on your dick-thus creating the roaster effect.

    Louisville Slugger: Your girl is on her knees in front of you servicing your pole. At some random point in time during this act you pull out, twist your hips, yell "BATTER UP!!!!" and smack her firmly in the cheek with your baseball bat like cock.

    The Missouri Compromise: When a girl will only let guys fuck her in the ass because she is still a "virgin".

    Puerto Rican Fog Bank: While 69ing with your partner, release a cloud of sphincter fog directly into her nostrils.

    The San Fran Tickler: Straddling a girls head and titty fucking her while she tickles your asshole with her tongue.

    Shanghai Stirfry: When a girl gives you a blowjob, pukes all over your cock and keeps going.

    Suicide Bomber: Fuck a chick wearing a condom, after you climax put the condom somewhere safe. Wait until she falls asleep wherein you blow the condom up like a balloon, you then scream "suicide!" and as she sits up you pop the condom in her face. Useful on girls who don't go down.

    Triple Crown of Sex (aka "Trifecta"): In the yapper, the snapper and the crapper all in the same session.

    Dirty Sanchez: A favorite among many, while railing her doggy style, you insert your finger up into her ass, pull it out, and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez.

    Last edited by Sinder; 12-21-2006 at 06:08 PM.

  2. #2
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

    I can't even finish that. I think I'm gonna be sick.

    Lola must be a prude......

  3. #3
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

    Scarlett's a prude too. yuck.

    Feature costumes for sale!

  4. #4
    Cally
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    Default Re: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

    Ashleys a prude too...

    Sinder I swear Toronto has corrupted you

  5. #5
    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

    Yeah, I'm corrupted alright! A friend of mine emailed it too me, yeah its gross, but I laughed so hard! I have a warped sense of humor!

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    Default Re: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

    Ew. Oo
    Zis ees a dead profile! I'm now idreamofaislin!

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    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

    Bwah hah hah hah hah hah !!!!!!!

    Thanks for the laugh! I needed that!

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    Default Re: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

    I kind of laughed at the Tony Danza...then copied and emailed it to Joe... his buddies will love it.

  9. #9
    Pamela
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    Default Re: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    Yeah, I'm corrupted alright! A friend of mine emailed it too me, yeah its gross, but I laughed so hard! I have a warped sense of humor!
    Sure makes for great conversation when i get a call and the guy wants to shoot the shit! Gosh my callers love gross. I guess so do i.

    I loved it

  10. #10
    God/dess JustJayda's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

    HA HA HA!!!! nasty stuff. I can't wait to share this!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by MarvelGirl View Post
    Oh, and nope, rubbing titties isn't air dancing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    The cut-off age for stripping is when customers stop paying you.

    The end.

  11. #11
    Featured Member tootsie's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

    the jawbreaker, anyone do that to me my jaw would break the skin on there cock my teeth would bite them off!

  12. #12
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!



    My boyfriend and I just spent the last several minutes laughing over this one. Thanks!

  13. #13
    Featured Member X Evan X's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to call this, other than crude and hilarious!

    Lol! Some new ones on that list haha

    There is a huge list of all the classics floating around the web.

    Those never get old haha
    -E
    hilarious signature

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