So I had to call in for work- again! Dammit all. I ate food yesterday I knew damn well I should not- cannot- eat, and lo and behold. But I didn't think I'd get this sick. I was up all night in agony, and things are still painful. Ouch ouch ouch. I'm a wuss. Digestion sucks. I hate my body for it's retarded inability to just digest. I forsee death by colon cancer in ten years. I feel like an eighty year old/ colicky baby all in one.
I'm sorry to complain. I'm just so frustrated. I've vowed to start a juice fast tomorrow...I didn't even brave tea today, because I thought anything else ingested would just be a bigger burden.
So my question- what to do about lack of willpower? Like, not just lack of willpower in terms of "Oh no, I'll get fat", but the kind that's simple self-preservation. This is poison for me! It's like a diabetic who can't stop eating cookies until she dies. If I don't learn to totally respect my dietary limitations, well then it's over. Is there some book or something? Do juice fasts help mentally to regroup attitudes about food? I hope so. I plan on doing one for at least five days. Wish me luck...
(and apologies for this thinly veiled rant)



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