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Thread: Her baby died..what do I say???

  1. #1
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    Default Her baby died..what do I say???

    A girl Ive known for years,works with my husband,had a baby 6 weeks ago.Even though we're close,all I know is she-baby- was sick in the beginning,but I dont know why because she's a very very private person (which is good when it comes to military bases,people are nosy and things get twisted) But I dont know what or why it happened,all I know is she loved that baby like crazy and always talked about her, and this morning she died. Ive never had a friend go through anything like this. Ill probably see her later and I dont know what to say My heart actually hurts because I cant imagine how it would feel,now that I have my own healthy. I feel wrong being around her because I have my children and they are healthy. What do you say at a time like this?
    Her name is Kalyma.Thanks for listening.

  2. #2
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Her baby died..what do I say???

    Hugs are so good. Just let her know that she can talk to you, call you for help, and you won't judge her. Tell her she was a great loving mother, and that her baby is watching over her from heaven. Just be there for her will help the most, let her grieve.....

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    Default Re: Her baby died..what do I say???

    I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. As a mother who has lost a child, I can only tell you to call her and tell her that you are sorry and that you'll support her if she needs it. Let her talk about her child. You might feel weird about it, because there will be times that she will talk about him/her as if they are still alive. But put aside that feeling and let her talk. It's the most important thing.

    And don't feel wrong about being around her and having healthy babies. When we look around and see the big circle it's the only thing that gets us through sometimes.

    I can tell you that I did have a problem when someone had a new baby after this happened. I was fine with all the children already in my life. But I got over it quickly when I held onto their tiny fingers.

    Just don't mention your children for awhile unless she brings it up first. And even then, keep it to a minimum until she's had time to get used to it.

    We can't keep away from children our whole lives nor should we. Just because we've lost doesn't mean we can't rejoice for all those other little ones. It just takes a little time and adjustment.

    My prayers, my sympathy and my empathy are with your friend at this hard time.

  4. #4
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Her baby died..what do I say???

    woops... see above
    Last edited by Lola Rose; 12-27-2006 at 11:49 AM. Reason: somehow this posted twice....

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