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Thread: Males in the Adult Industry

  1. #1
    Yekhefah
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    Thumbs down Males in the Adult Industry

    Why the FUCK is it so hard for males in this industry to treat women with even the slightest measure of professionalism or respect? Out of all the clubs I've worked at and the other related industry jobs I've looked into, 99% of the males have treated the women (self included) like retarded children. I don't know about you ladies, but I have zero patience for that shit. I have a master's degree and I will not tolerate this kind of treatment.

    Now I'm looking into phone sex and getting the same shit I used to get from strip club managers. There is nothing on this earth that pisses me off more than some patronizing dickhead talking down to me. What the fuck is it about this business that makes them think they can talk to people this way?

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    Banned Helle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    Yep. I worked at a club where the day manager would yell into the dressing room "I NEED YOU HEIFERS ON THE FLOOR" when customers would come in.

    And of course, if we complained, we were being whiny brats.

  3. #3
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    Heifers? Oh, fuck that shit. Especially from a strip club manager - YOU are paying HIM, not the other way around! If he is working for you, then he needs to turn that shit around. I am not about to pay someone to talk to me that way!

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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    It's because they have the power. The club I work at is one of two decent clubs in the whole city and they know it. When it comes to negotiating, they aren't exactly flexible. But they know we (or maybe I should say I) will put up with a lot of bullshit because I make good money in the club and don't want to fuck it up.

    I actually confronted our manager with something in the contract that is in black and white and he talked his way around it. How can he not go by the contract that he signed in black and white? But the problem is that it's an "at will" contract, meaning they can fire me for any reason at all, including raising a stink about the contract.

    Then there is the double standard where we have some really low rent girls who behave horribly and get away with it. They come in late, get wasted, fight, you name it.

    I just try to be grateful for my income and count my money, take my fucking ibuprofen for my bad knees and back, and pop arnica for the bruises and muscle aches. It's all you can do because it's not going to be any different anywhere else.
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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    There was a post not too long ago made by Tina concerning how more women should be running strip clubs, NOT men. I think she has the right idea. Not to say it would be perfect if women ran the clubs, but there wouldn't be the type of problems that Yek is referring to widescale.
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    I know what you mean, but I guess I've worked for a lot of similar assholes in the past. I just say nothing at all, nod, nod, nod. If it's so bad they might fire me, I'll say something, but that's never happened (yet). It pisses me off when they bug for no reason, because they do treat us like bratty children. Yet, they're not going to change. What I don't do is be their friend, like so many girls. I am just not a fan of bickering, inconsistent authority figures (like Andy said, what's a rule if it's inconsistent?). So I don't suck up, and I act very "well, so?". Because really, the worst thing they can do is fire me. And they seem disinclined to actually go that far. Even if they did, I couldn't care less. So I agree with you, and it might be my bad luck that I have had even worse treatment in other jobs in my life (farm managers come to mind- they'll put you in deadly situations and bitch if you complain).

  7. #7
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    out of the 12 managers i can think of, only 2 were not total assholes. thankfully i work for one of those 2 right now. out of the 5 owners i've worked for, only 1 was not a total asshole, and he's the one i work for right now. most of the men i've dealt with in this industry treat the girls like idiots, meat, or both. i've also ran into quit a few that think they "own" the girls.

    you aren't my father, my boyfriend, and you sure as fuck aren't my pimp. you're an employee of the club i work for. end of story.

    i don't understand why more men can't be professional about the job. if you were head of a waitstaff at a nice restaurant would you talk to the female staff like they were children? would you slap them on the ass? probably not, and if you did you'd get fired. it shouldn't be any different in a strip club. i'm tired of managers, owners, djs and bouncers thinking it's ok to do those types of things because we're dancers. it's the same as customers thinking it's ok to be rude or out of line with us. .....only at least we get PAID for that.

    i told one owner flat out.. "i pay YOU to work here and i will stop doing that if you can't understand the professional relationship we have"

    also, a huge part of it is girls ALLOWING it to happen. without us where would the club be? they can't get customers without girls. if more girls would put their foot down about such things, i bet they'd start changing.

    i want to add, i'm not talking about harmless comments like "damn you're hot" or "nice ass" or whatever. i know it's a different environment, so naturaly some things can fly. there's just a point when it becomes harrassment and what sucks is many people think "you can't sexually harrass a stripper".
    Last edited by Pretty_Penny; 12-28-2006 at 01:38 PM.

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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    I guess I've been lucky to only have run into a few jerks in the industry. Most of the managers/ owners have been very nice to me.

    I have worked for female owners, too. To hear the girls describe the women that run clubs you would think that the female owners were Satan incarate. To be fair, I worked for a female owner who's demeanor was almost identical to the Meryl Streep charater in "The Devil Wears Prada". She never raised her voice, is very demanding, and all the dancers would be shaking in their shoes when she was in the club. I loved working for that woman and have tons of respect for her. She is great.

    Another female owner I worked for was batshit crazy. I don't know if it was hormones or a coke habit or what, but yeah, she was totally crazy, one second asking the dancers to give extras in VIP the next minute flipping out because a girl was dancing barefoot or something. She fired me because I didn't drink on the job. Her reason was that she didn't believe that anyone could be an honest dancer if she could do her job sober. I had to be up to something because I can work every shift sober.

    I think I have my Angel investor plus an owner of another strip club that wants to hear more about my ideas for a club purchase. My dream is to own my own stripclub. Then I can be added to the very small population of women strip club owners.


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  9. #9
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    ^ oh i agree. women can be just as bad. i worked for a TERRIBLE and PSYCHOTIC female owner once. >_<

  10. #10
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    I've worked for one female owner... but only seeing her once or twice a week, and having her demands doled out by the manager "Because she said so, that's why.." I idn't get much of a feel for her as an actual owner...

    But damn if the girls didn't pee thier pants when she came into the club.....




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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    I recently worked for a female owner and loved her to death. The bar was just too much of a drive for me and now I have this regular job to start soon or I'd still be there.

    She was the mothering type. She actually made sure I had something to eat during the day (food was great and free), we got 1 drink an hour free (in case no custies were buying), the pay was great with no fees or tipouts, she actually complimented me because I entertained well...this list goes on. Average earnings on a Friday day were $300 with no lapdances allowed and no freaking stress.

    But then again, this is a bar, not a club. I think that, the more corporate the place is, the more of an asshole they can be. Bars around here are like a family atmosphere and good dancers are in demand so they're afraid to alienate them.

  12. #12
    smartcookie
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    This is a "which comes first, the chicken or the egg" kind of question I've often pondered. A lot of women in this industry do act like children, so I wonder if managerial asshattery is a work burnout issue, or if misogynists are naturally drawn to strip club management, or both.

  13. #13
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    Unless I was travelling and stuck with it, I refused to work for assholes. I would just walk out and find another place. I did it plenty of times. I will NOT be treated like shit by the people who profit off of me.

    But sometimes there have been clubs that had some good with some bad. If there was one asshole manager/bouncer, but the rest were cool, I would just ignore the bad seed.

    Its an old boy's network business, to this day.

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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    in my personal opinion, our female manager is way harder on us and definately more of a bitch, especially when she starts getting mood swings. she will pretend to be your best friend one minute, will be a total bitch the next, and keep going on about how the job is not that hard since she used to be a dancer herself. at least she doesn't sexually harass the girls, but to be fair neither do any of the male managers i've worked with. dj's and bouncers are a whole other story however.

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    Veteran Member Innocense's Avatar
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    I worked at a nice club for like a year. Two ladies were the managers and they were older than us...in their late 40's. They were actually really nice and sweet. But now I work at this club were the managers are males. One of them is really rude and doesn't know how to treat women. A lot of the girls make jokes with him, something that in my opinion, makes it all worse. It makes him think that the girls are just playing and fooling around and that it is ok for him to be so rude.

    I'm new there, and I don't give him a great leavel of comfortness. I want him to feel awkard when he's around me so that he will treat me like an employee and nothing else. We only talk when it is related to money. We don't joke around or make jokes on one another and I'm really happy with that. I don't ever want him to think that he can treat me the way he treats the other girls. He yells at them, pushes them, pull their hair, slaps their asses....etc, etc.

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    Banned Helle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    Quote Originally Posted by francescadubois View Post
    There was a post not too long ago made by Tina concerning how more women should be running strip clubs, NOT men.
    Oh yeah. The club I work at right now is staffed by all women (except the bouncers) and managed and owned by a woman. I fucking love it. It's a very tight ship and everything is organized and kept in line... Which I love.

    And for some reason, I'm more afraid to break the rules and get in trouble with a woman boss than with a man boss. It's like, anymore, I just EXPECT men bosses to be pigs.... And it's an exception when they aren't.

  17. #17
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    One of the reasons I like being in the adult industry (aka self employed) is because I despise authority, particularly when there is an obvious air of disrespect.
    I think you and I share this in common, Yek and it's one of the reasons we both hated Body Shop. lol
    I can't stand it when I am harassed to 'go out on the floor'. You know what? When I put on the heels and g-string, I work when I want, as hard as I want and I'll charge whatever I want too. Because no one owns me.

  18. #18
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    ^^^ Exactly! I had to suck up to too many bosses when I was waitressing and doing other work. I still have to suck up to unqualified bosses in my regular job. And I do it because THEY are paying me and I work for them. But damned if I'm going to be treated that way by someone who is taking MY money and working for ME!

  19. #19
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Why the FUCK is it so hard for males in this industry to treat women with even the slightest measure of professionalism or respect? Out of all the clubs I've worked at and the other related industry jobs I've looked into, 99% of the males have treated the women (self included) like retarded children. I don't know about you ladies, but I have zero patience for that shit. I have a master's degree and I will not tolerate this kind of treatment.

    Now I'm looking into phone sex and getting the same shit I used to get from strip club managers. There is nothing on this earth that pisses me off more than some patronizing dickhead talking down to me. What the fuck is it about this business that makes them think they can talk to people this way?
    Because everything you talked about is a job! And there are jerks in every area of a job. Working for a woman is worse for me. I prefer men as a boss, and i don't kiss ass, i just put myself up on a very high ladder...and make them reach me!

    Screw the bs at work. I am there for one reason....Work! Not friends. Hell i don't even talk to staff at work unless i have to. Co-workers forget it.

    As for phone sex? it's THE MOST catty job, with jealous bitches you will ever hear about...they don't see you, but they damn sure talk shit to your clients about you...same as a strip club, but imo much worse these days as more and more women try phone sex and can't do it.

  20. #20
    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    ^Pamela, how do other operators talk sh*t on you? Do the operators know each other?
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  21. #21
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    It's NOT a regular job. Like I said, I will put up with a certain measure of bullshit from someone who is paying me. But in a strip club, *I* am paying *him,* so as far as I'm concerned, he works for me and he needs to treat me with some respect.

    And even for someone who is paying me, there is still a standard of respect and decency that is sorely lacking in the adult industry. I don't know how many jobs you've had outside this industry, but any boss I ever had (even in a restaurant) would be out on his ass after talking to an employee the way that some of these men treat women.

  22. #22
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    99&#37; of the males have treated the women (self included) like retarded children.
    Exactly...I've described it just like that before, too. Agents, managers, DJs...I really get sick of being treated like a child by dumbfucks.

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  23. #23
    Veteran Member Angel1112's Avatar
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    i know what you mean ...where i work it's the bouncers that treat us even worse and they are over power trippin! They are very rude and down right hateful to us.

  24. #24
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    ^^^ I certainly hope you're not tipping them, then.

  25. #25
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Males in the Adult Industry

    Quote Originally Posted by francescadubois View Post
    ^Pamela, how do other operators talk sh*t on you? Do the operators know each other?
    I have one friend on Uslove. She lives near me, i trained her much of what i know...she was left in a bad situation. She hears shit from others...she is on a pso board.

    I was on only one pso board ever...it closed. I have had my picture/taken and seems a pso perhaps posing as me on another couple baords still? Dunno. Talking shit, causing problems. (thank god for my gf) Also..my real pix. and a profile written by me are on uslove. I change it often...i have had customers tell me " so and so says you have a boob job " and shit like that. And YES pso (some) will even call you. Again, talk shit to customers. Does it hurt earnings, no. But damn it's a cut throat biz. I am under contract NOT to talk shit about others..and i will not. Hey they want to make a buck too.

    But yes...when customers tell you things about a pso who is checking out your shit, and talking shit, you know.
    My gf on a pso board says it's sooo damn bad, that EVERY company out there is bashed...LMAO!

    I have never ever had an experience that was bad with owners or managers in the adult industry..except Gemini Audio Text (phone sex) who refused to take my pictures down...i was nude. And don't do nude online anymore.

    Owners of pso companies and i get along great! I love the biz. as i got along great with managers at clubs i danced.

    Ok...long, sorry. But being a pso is very tough. You have to be an actress!!!!! That is hard going in cold. I do understand the frustrations of women who try and fail. It's not for everyone. You have to know when to change gears real quick, figure out what a guy wants who does not know, and so much more.

    It's a VERY catty business.

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