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Thread: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

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    Angry When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    I've been working at this club for about 3 yrs. I'm friendly so all of the bouncers and managers know me & they hook me up, alot. I let it be well known that I have a man in my life (3 yrs). Lately the bouncers have been saying stuff that is starting to bother me. Two of the bouncers asked me last week if I wanted to go to the VIP room in an area where there is no camera and "have some fun". And then last night a manager pulled me to the side and said "I want you to dance for me somewhere private when you are done with you shift." I'm not at all a dirty dancer. I don't even let guys touch my breast! At the end of my shift, I called my boyfriend and told him to haul ass and pick me up. So I just left. My boyfriend said that I'm too friendly and I need to start telling these guys to fuck off. Now, I'm so uncomfortable. Any suggestions how to deal with this kind off shit.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    leave that club. if it were one person, i'd say tell the manager or owner. if it's that bad i would not go back. that's uncalled for.

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    It's the best club in my town. Lately, It's the only club here makin $$$$

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    I try my best to stay away from managers and bouncers. I am polite if asked a question, and then I leave quickly. No hanging around or joking with them. I won't even go into the office- I stand in the doorway, ask any questions then go back to work.

  5. #5
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    Don't let them talk to you that way. You have to be really firm; if he says he wants you to dance for him after your shift, you have to say something like, "I don't work after my shift, I go home to my boyfriend." Don't flirt, don't laugh. If they see you have absolutely no sense of humor about it, they SHOULD get the idea.

    Unless they're the really scary type, who will try to "teach you a lesson" and assault you. Those guys are out there too. I agree that you should really look into working somewhere else.

  6. #6
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    I would make it very very clear that the answer is no, and the question totally out of order.
    Yeah report it if you have to. I hope they're not the scarey types as Yekhefah mentioned, if so youre definatly better off working elsewhere regardless of the $.

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    Say, "that's really innapropriate. Please don't ask me that again."



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    Veteran Member piper_monroe's Avatar
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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    Wow, first of all I want to say that I'm sorry you are going through this - that's really awful and undoubtedly uncomfortable.

    You should definately do what one of the other posters mentioned and totally avoid the bouncers and managers, even for idle small talk. It will definately make a difference.

    There is a girl at my club who is always bothered by one of the doormen, and I mean always. She relayed this to me before I even witnessed him coming on to her, so I was very sympathetic. Then I saw the actual thing and as he was doing his thing coming on to her she was laughing, giggling, and telling him "no" in the most mildest of fashions. This chick is married too, so it was obvioiusly something she was doing to spurn him on (or at least not exactly tell him to fuck off). In my mind I was like "Girl, just ignore him or speak firmly, it will make ALL the difference!" I don't know her all that well so I thought it best not to get involved.

    I'm not at all saying that you are doing this but just be wary of your body lingo when they are talking to you/propositioning you, as well as what you are saying after they proposition you. It makes a difference.

    I hope you will be okay and that you can resove this. There is nothing more awful than being uncomfy in your own working environment.
    "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually who are you not to be?" -- Marianne Williamson.

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    Featured Member flickad's Avatar
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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    I had something similar happen to me at Club X. I had no idea how to deal with it, other than telling the guy no. Problem was, he was really persistent. Regardless, I didn't end up staying there for long.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    either change clubs or make it 100% clear that u are not comfortable with the comments.
    that's what i like about my club, the management is very professional. our management will not get dances or be inappropriate to the dancers in any way.
    in fact security and management treat us kinda like the boys - give us high fives etc and dont make any inappropriate comments. you should not have to put up with that.

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    It's the best club in my town. Lately, It's the only club here makin $$$$
    IMHO it sounds like management in this club is aware that they are in the 'driver's seat', i.e. that a line of new 'hot' dancers has been knocking on the club's door looking to work there, thus they are not above trying to 'shake down' current dancers ... in this case for 'favors' but it could also be for 'financials' i.e. raising stage fees / club percentage cut ... knowing that any dancers who choose not to go along with the 'shake down' can easily be replaced by other girls who will.

    If this is the case, then you need to ask yourself an important question ... how badly do I need to keep dancing in this particular city ?

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    Veteran Member pipermarau's Avatar
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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    i'd go for a new club. unless you can somehow go to a higher power and them actually believe you and do something about it i would leave. maybe they've had complaints before. that will cause a shift in management quick.

    if they make you uncomfortable you will make less money in the end and a different club where you feel safe would not only be worth it for your safety but you might just make more money. if you have a good following with your regulars they may follow you to your new club and you would not have to loose money because of it. i know my regs would follow me to a new club if my managers and bouncers treated me bad like that. a good customer would understand and support you.

    i would take no chances and leave ASAP if you can't resolve this by telling them you are clearly not interested OR by talking to their superiors. safety first!

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    Featured Member sexy_celeste's Avatar
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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    Quote Originally Posted by flickad View Post
    I had something similar happen to me at Club X. I had no idea how to deal with it, other than telling the guy no. Problem was, he was really persistent. Regardless, I didn't end up staying there for long.
    grrr club x

    Why do they suck so much, and how do they keep running????
    Theres no sense crying over every mistake,
    you just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    Being too nice has nothing to do with it. That was completely inappropriate at of them. I'd suggest nipping this in the bud by telling them, in no uncertain terms, that you will NOT be dancing for them. If they push it, tell them that they are making you feel uncomfortable and you don't think that it is appropriate.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    K, are you the type of person (and I only ask because I used to be) that when you get nervous you laugh? Instead of being bitchy, you get giggly? It's a weird thought for most of you, but I used to get so nervous around people that I would just get silly instead of saying what was on my mind....

    When you mix that attitude with a very attractive girl, most people think "Ditsy, easily influenced, push-over" and that gets bad.

    Next time you talk to them, really REALLY focus on not being flirty...and understand for guys like this flirty means saying hi with a smile. You say "Hi!" (big smile) He hears "I'd like to see what you look like naked!"

    I understand if you don't want to try a different club, so you will have to be very aware of your attitude around these guys. NOT TO SAY that even if you are friendly that the behaviour is acceptable, it is NOT...at all...but guys like this have be handeled differently, or you leave...sucks, but there it is.

    So, polite, but NOT friendly. And for sure they will go through the routine of "What's wrong? Do you need me to cheer you up? etc..etc.." (gag). If you don't plan on leaving, then stick to your guns and it SHOULD pass.

    Please be careful, and good luck.




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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    Say no, and don't make a big thing. I appreciate that it is uncomfortable, and I'm not minimizing your discomfort; but you do indiscriminately let men touch you in exchange for cash; so sometimes coworkers will, unprofessional though it is, try to become one of those masses. As long as they are just asking the question it is easy to make a joke and refuse - the problem is when they start inappropriately touching you. So don't make an issue, especially if you want to stay there with a minimum of discomfort, but don't say yes either. Say you have to talk to your union rep; it's like the catchall stripper joke whenver anyone asks you to do anything. "I'll have to talk to my union rep about that."
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    Sorry to hear you're being put through that. I agree with the advice that you should be direct. Give your response politely but firmly, and walk away; don't wait for a response or debate.

    Hopefully, they'll get the message and leave it at that. However, you've also got to be ready for a negative reaction. They might start subtly dis-favoring you or blatantly making it unbearable for you. Then you've got to be prepared to move on.

    I advocate always being in a financial position to change clubs whenever necessary. Resolve the problem if you can; if you can't, scram. If you're married to one club, you're in a position to be taken advantage of. That's true of any job.

    Hope it works out in your favor.

    -Ev

  18. #18
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    The first club I ever worked in, ti was well known by everyone that the owner slept with a lot of his dancers. Everyone knew except hsi girlfriend.

    he tried repeadly to sleep with me, and I alwasy turned him down, one night, he was trying to get me again, and I said to him, look, Your my boss, and it makes me very uncomfortable to work here when you alwyas try to get in my pants. Im not interested in you, I never will be, and i would like to keep our relationship professional.

    He never tried again, and respected me more than any other dancer there.

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    Thank you so much for your advice. I really don't have that many girlfriends here so it's nice to have some imput. So I work last night. I was on stage and the manager came up to me and said "You forgot about me last night". He really didn't give me a chance to say anything and walk off. Then later on that night came up to me and ask why I'm being distant. I told him that I have a lot on my mind and I walk off. They know what they're doing is not okay. So I'm just going to keep my distance and keep my eyes open. I work in a big club so I can make myself invisible.

    ExoticEngineer< That is exactly how I am & I'm trying to change that.

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    also, as long as you continue to work there use the buddy system. I know there's a lot of flaky girls out there, but there must be one or two girls who can watch your back and have you watch theirs-- not in a way that would threaten cash flow but just to keep the pervs working there at bay.

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    Heavenly, I feel for you sweety. I used to avoid confrontation like the plague. I would let people get away with murder if it meant that I didn't have to actually confront them and stand up for myself. (that was WAY back then).

    It took a while, but I got better and better at sticking up for myself....not that I am a bitch these days, but I certainly don't let people walk over me or make me feel uncomfortable.

    Every night you work, try at least, at LEAST once a night to make it known what your desires are, wether it be wanting something to happen or something to stop happening. And the kicker is you should try to make it known to others....for example; you dance for a guy, he does something you don't like and instead of just moving to a new position or pretending he didn't jsut try to grab your breast, etc, actually say to him "Don't do that." or stop dancing and shake your finger at him with a disaproving look. Make sure he KNOWS you don't want him to do that. (This is jsut an example) It could be any situation....but the point is that you set the tone.

    But if you practice (I know it sounds funny to say practice being assertive) eventually it will feel more natural to you. My husband helped me with this so much...when he met me I was a meek girl, sweet and stuff but I would let people take advantage all day all night...I am eternally thankful to him for helping me learn to stick up for myself. I am still very nice, that's a quality that I admire in myself, I will still lend anything I have to friend or someone in need, but now a days if they return it f*cked up, instead of saying "Oh, that's okay I guess..." I say..."Better work extra hard tonight so you can buy me a new one! "




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    Featured Member flickad's Avatar
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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    Quote Originally Posted by sexy_celeste View Post
    grrr club x

    Why do they suck so much, and how do they keep running????
    I was told they pay off the police (so as to have masturbation and other illegal activities on the premesis without encountering legal problems). I'm not sure if that's just rumour or if it's based in fact, but I wouldn't find it all that surprising.

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    get it on video tape and sue. lol

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    If he does it again, just tell him: "I don't do that. I dance, show up on time, don't do drugs and make you a lot of money, but I don't do extras."

    I actually had to do this to a manager a few years back. It helped a lot that I pointed out I was a clean girl, who banked. His ego versus his wallet. Wallet won, I got to keep dancing & he left me alone after that.

    Jasmine

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    Default Re: When bouncers and/or Managers ask for extra

    Don't screw around with management. It will hurt you in the long run. Sounds likethey said this to you to test you. Al ot of girls wil do this to keep their job or make more money to get in good with management.



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