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Thread: Combatting rudeness

  1. #1
    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Combatting rudeness

    Looking for some advice here....

    Every single holiday or bday or anniversary that passes, I seem to get a lot of different people asking me various personal questions like:
    *Did your boyfriend pop the question?
    *Where's the rock?
    *Are you engaged yet?
    *Do you think your boyfriend will ask you to marry him on NYE?

    I've even had someone ask:
    *Why hasn't he proposed yet?

    This isn't friends or close family asking me, it's distant relatives and co-workers asking me. Personally, I find that it's rude to ask that or assume that he 'popped the question' for the holidays or whatever.

    My boyfriend and I don't feel emotionally or financially ready to make that commitment, even though we've been otgteher for a long time (several years). All these questions are starting to play with my head. I am NOT ready to be married, but I'm starting to get bitter about it, b/c I'm feeling constantly badgered by these people. I almost catch myself thinking "What is wrong with me that he hasn't proposed?", etc. even though I know damn well that I personally have told him I'm not ready and we've had good conversations about it.

    Anyways, the point of my post is .....what is the right way to respond to these questions?? I think people are out of line even asking (unless it's a close friend or relative). Any advice??
    Last edited by Hello_Kitty27; 12-28-2006 at 09:19 PM. Reason: spelling and clarification






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  2. #2
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: Combatting rudeness

    How about:

    No.

    Don't have one.

    No.

    No.

    We're not ready.


    If those don't work, you could always go with:

    "That's kinda personal; why do you ask?"
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Combatting rudeness

    Make your eyes go big and round after hearing stupid question.

    Then whisper, "It's a SECRET!"

  4. #4
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Combatting rudeness

    I'm a big fan of the blank stare and a simple, "Why?"

    Nothing puts them on the spot better than that.

    I was getting the same kind of crap when I took K home to meet my family, but a few well-placed disparaging jokes about marriage nipped that in the bud. I'm divorced for a reason. I'm not going to just jump back in the pool right after I nearly drowned in it.

  5. #5
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Combatting rudeness

    Ugh, my mom and some of my female relatives (on my mom's side of the family) ask me questions like that... I tell them "when the time is right" and then I tell my dad so he can yell at them.

    Don't take their questions to heart. They could be asking for a number of reasons... from simple curiousity to their own old-fashioned ways of thinking.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  6. #6
    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Combatting rudeness

    thanks - good advice. Reading it now, it looks so simple. And obvious. I've noticed myself getting more and more snippy with my answers and more and more defensive. So it's causing them to pester more and ask "What's wrong" and things like that. It's mostly women, but I've even had male co-workers make comments and ask questions.

    I mean, I could imagine having a conversation like that with my parents, or my close friends, but this is just getting ridiculous. I guess I'm letting it get under my skin too much.






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