I did a private party tonight for a bachelor. I showed up before him so he could come in to find his "surprise." All of his friends were super cool so I thought it was going to be cake. I chilled with a glass of cranberry juice and waited. When the bachelor arrived he was a piece of work. I wasn't dancing for him 30 second before he started grabbing all over my entire body and trying to finger me. I finally stopped and just sat on his knee and told him to behave.
He started whispering something into my ear and I couldn't make it out. I kept asking, "What?" and he kept saying, "Aw, nothin'. I'm just tryin' to holler at ya." Uh, whatever. Finally, he mumbled it again and I understood: He was asking "How much?" I demurely asked, "How much for what, sweetie?" and he said, "To FUCK!" He said it several times and just stared at me with this look like we were already doing it. This guy is getting married TOMORROW.
Now, this is not the first time I've been grabbed. It's not the first time I've been propositioned. But, for a split second, I got a picture in my head of this poor girl he is supposed to marry TOMORROW and thought, "FUCK this guy."
I poured my entire glass of cranberry juice on his head, threw my clothes on and yelled, "Your wife is a VERY lucky woman" on my way out the door.
Tart--I know you're having a "done with the bullshit" phase right now as well. A younger me would have smiled, played along, found out where he was getting married tomorrow, marched right in and introduced myself to his fiance. She needs to know what she is getting into. The current me just wanted to get the fuck home to the man who loves me and forget about those assholes. I kinda wish now I had done the former.



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Chris feeds me full of that stuff and it really helps.


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