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Thread: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    Ok, I was raised in the south and was always taught to give up your seat on the bus, train, or other places like waiting rooms to women when there is no where else to sit.

    Is this seen as old-fashioned now? Sometimes I feel kind of awkward or even weird doing it for younger, able-bodied women.

    Also, how about when a woman/girl is with a guy and he is sitting while she stands?

    Assume in all cases that no other seats are available.

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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    Ok, I was raised in the south and was always taught to give up your seat on the bus, train, or other places like waiting rooms to women when there is no where else to sit.

    Is this seen as old-fashioned now? Sometimes I feel kind of awkward or even weird doing it for younger, able-bodied women.

    Also, how about when a woman/girl is with a guy and he is sitting while she stands?

    Assume in all cases that no other seats are available.

    I (when I was doin the public trans thing) gave up my seat for pregnant women, anyone in a cast or with crutches, the elderly, etc...

    It's scary to see how many wont budge. Will pretend not to notice them. Egads.

    I think its very nice of you to keep up that tradition. Its fading fast, even for those who really SHOULD be sitting.... gender aside. Kudos!
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    courtesy never goes out of fashion.

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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    I think I'm in love.

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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    Public transportation for the most part isn't available where I live, so I can't really say what I would do in those particular situations, but...

    I'm known to hold a door open for most anybody, esspecially females.

    Sometimes when booking a hotel room online, I'll often see rooms that are listed as "handicap accessible". Even if rooms are running fast, I make it a habit never to book these as I don't want to take them away from somebody who might need them. Similarly, I won't ever park in a handicap space or use the handicap john in a public restroom.

    So no. Courtesy never goes out of style, and the example that you set will more than likely rub off on others. Never underestimate the lengths to which a benevolent gesture can go.
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    Veteran Member KennedyWinters's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    awesome...I think you are stellar. I guess the only flipside is that sometimes(often maybe?) I have refused someone's seat because I'm such a "modern girl" that I don't need any man's help or charity. Of course there is a part of me that would love to demure and say thank you whilst slipping into a nice relaxing seat. But the other part of me feels incredibly guilty that you didn't offer it to the homely woman to our left and then suspicious that now we might have to have a conversation. If we're going to be all good-old-timey and I get your seat, then SURELY it's my duty to politly converse, no?. How could someone take another person's seat and then go back to being complete strangers?

    I hate to be the negative one here it's just that spending time in a big city you learn that guys will say and do alot of crazy things to get you to look/speak or respond to them. If I was fine before standing up, and you weren't crazy good looking I would probably pour on the sugar and say "Oh no thank you I'm fine".

    I'm getting way too deep in this post but it's because I think when I first rode MUNI in SF I was happy to take any offered seat but I often got a big scowl from everyone already seated and everyone still standing. As if to say "look at you coast through through life- here WE are grumpy and tired"

    For the situation with couples: I sometimes do the same. Give up or trade my seat so that they can be together. If he nabbed the seat and made her stand, well, that is kind of strange. Usually I see the guy give the seat to his gal and then stand facing her, a protectant from the aisle.

    My advice, would be to make it very clear if your offering of the seat is meant to be a "gesture" or not.

    If it's automatic- seats are taken+you see a woman=she gets your seat
    Then don't put another thought past it, just smile as if you do it every day all day and she needn't worry.

    If it's a gesture- You think a woman would make good company, then offer the seat in a way that clearly shows, you would like to say more to her after and her acceptance of the seat MUST be a sign that she finds you to possibly be good company as well.

    Sorry if that was too many manners, happy transit riding to you!

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    Quote Originally Posted by KennedyWinters View Post
    awesome...I think you are stellar. I guess the only flipside is that sometimes(often maybe?) I have refused someone's seat because I'm such a "modern girl" that I don't need any man's help or charity. Of course there is a part of me that would love to demure and say thank you whilst slipping into a nice relaxing seat. But the other part of me feels incredibly guilty that you didn't offer it to the homely woman to our left and then suspicious that now we might have to have a conversation. If we're going to be all good-old-timey and I get your seat, then SURELY it's my duty to politly converse, no?. How could someone take another person's seat and then go back to being complete strangers?

    I hate to be the negative one here it's just that spending time in a big city you learn that guys will say and do alot of crazy things to get you to look/speak or respond to them. If I was fine before standing up, and you weren't crazy good looking I would probably pour on the sugar and say "Oh no thank you I'm fine".

    I'm getting way too deep in this post but it's because I think when I first rode MUNI in SF I was happy to take any offered seat but I often got a big scowl from everyone already seated and everyone still standing. As if to say "look at you coast through through life- here WE are grumpy and tired"

    For the situation with couples: I sometimes do the same. Give up or trade my seat so that they can be together. If he nabbed the seat and made her stand, well, that is kind of strange. Usually I see the guy give the seat to his gal and then stand facing her, a protectant from the aisle.

    My advice, would be to make it very clear if your offering of the seat is meant to be a "gesture" or not.

    If it's automatic- seats are taken+you see a woman=she gets your seat
    Then don't put another thought past it, just smile as if you do it every day all day and she needn't worry.

    If it's a gesture- You think a woman would make good company, then offer the seat in a way that clearly shows, you would like to say more to her after and her acceptance of the seat MUST be a sign that she finds you to possibly be good company as well.

    Sorry if that was too many manners, happy transit riding to you!
    It's an automatic thing...all seats taken, woman appears, I give up my seat, unless someone beats me to it. Usually no one does. I'm usually appalled at seeing teenage boys or young healthy guys sit in a seat as an old woman enters a bus or seating area, and they just sit there.

    Glad to see I'm not a fucking weirdo.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    Really, I don't think it is necessary for able bodied women. Older women, women with children, older men, people with disabilities and people who look tired/ill I do give up. But I don't generally think it is necessary for a guy to get up so that someone like me can sit.
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    i think younger guys are really confused about whether they should or shouldn't... especially in the able-bodied, going to work in suits situation.

    and the, 'i suspect i'm getting tuned' aspect is real as well. some of those naughtier fellows do like to use basic manners for the panty-dropping aspect.

    cheap. i fell for it.

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    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    I was always taught to respect my elders. So if I see an older lady or man get on a train with few or no seats, I try to give up my seat. Same for pregnant women, or any other person who medically-speaking, shouldn't be standing for long periods of time. I'm not perfect and I'm not going to say I always do this, but I try to make it habit. I will say that (to agree with Paige) it is scary to see how many people just don't care.






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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    On that note, there is an advertisement on the television here where a pregnant woman is on the bus standing up in the aisle... and see stands right next to a young guy who has his MP3 player on.... and the bus is full... she has some bags so she has been shopping and gets out a toy hammer and starts hitting him with it so that he can move out of the seat and let her sit.

    It is for a bank about "where are the people with old fashioned service?" as such.

    I thought it was a very good advertisement as it is so so so true!

    It's amazing how selfish children are today that they won't give that common curtesy now. They're too self-involved imo.


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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    I used to hate it when I was in my last trimester...on the commuter train to work (or home) and there were no seats available...I was tired and just wanted to sit down...and people would pretend not to see me.

    There was one time when I got on the train and there was this younger guy sitting in one seat and had his stuff taking up the seat next to him. A couple of people tried sitting in the seat, but he would look at them and say, "this seat is taken." So, I waddled over there, pushed his crap off the seat and smiled at him saying, "Thanks for saving the seat for me..." He gave me this dirty look, but oh well.

    Mr Hyde...I've found that common courtesy is so lacking these days. I will give up my seat to anyone who needs to sit down. I teach my daughter to do the same. And I will teach my son, also.

    It's not disrespectful...it's just common courtesy. And I think you should give your parents a big hug for raising such a courteous son!!

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    Veteran Member casaubon1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    I follow the rule that Jenny and Hello Kitty mentioned -- give the seat up if someone needs it, whether male or female.
    Worst thing I ever saw was a guy hold his seat as an old woman walked past, and then offer it to a pretty young woman who was following her. She handled it perfectly -- thanked him, showed the elderly lady to the seat, and then kept walking to the back of the car so that the guy couldn't hit on her.

  14. #14
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    Thats nice. I certainly dont expect men to give up their seats for me although some offer sometimes. I dont want to take someone elses seat you know generally, they have as much right to it as anyone I dont think its nessesary. - Except for old folk, pregnant women, or women or even men with small children - especailly if the kids are tired cos they can usually sit on the mums lap. It really shits me when people dont get up for old folk. The bus drivers here will usually tell young people they have to move for old people and pregnant women etc if the seats run out which is good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    Ok, I was raised in the south and was always taught to give up your seat on the bus, train, or other places like waiting rooms to women when there is no where else to sit.

    Is this seen as old-fashioned now? Sometimes I feel kind of awkward or even weird doing it for younger, able-bodied women.

    Also, how about when a woman/girl is with a guy and he is sitting while she stands?

    Assume in all cases that no other seats are available.

  15. #15
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    I once heard a bus driver tell off some young guys for not giving up their seats. It was awesome.

    I'm not really gonna say it's amazing that you do that. It's nice and all, but I think it's the type of thing that's expected, by me at least. It shows you were raised to be a decent person with respect for women and the handicapped.

    I've asked guys to give up their seat for me, I don't see anything wrong with that. I'm105lbs, it would be difficult for me to stand in a moving vehicle without being a tossed around a bit. Besides, I think if they haven't gotten up of their own violation, they deserve the Subtle slap in the face.

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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess View Post
    I used to hate it when I was in my last trimester...on the commuter train to work (or home) and there were no seats available...I was tired and just wanted to sit down...and people would pretend not to see me.
    failing to get up for a preggo lady is the absolute lowest of the low.

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    Veteran Member lwtex52's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    From the Ronald Trump Book of Etiquette, written by The Donald's Evil Twin, we have this offering: "....when using public transportation, it is considered to be polite to always offer your seat to the elderly, the pregnant, and the infirm. The ideal situation occurs in the case of a tie, when it is perfectly acceptable to auction your seat to the highest bidder. My personal experience has taught me that taking along an elderly, pregnant, or infirm travel companion will ensure competition for my seat."
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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    Hahaha, those assholes should try not giving up their seat for an old baba in Eastern Europe. She will straight up give a young punk a smackdown with her cane if they don't give up their seats. Some people just have no respect, and everyone else is a huge pussy for pretending the problem isn't there!

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    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    Some people just have no respect, and everyone else is a huge pussy for pretending the problem isn't there!
    Yep.... I am continually amazed about what is and is not appropriate in public. People will tell you off for mistaking your grocery cart with theirs, but won't say a think when people don't have a tiny bit of common curtosy.

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Rose View Post
    I once heard a bus driver tell off some young guys for not giving up their seats. It was awesome.

    I'm not really gonna say it's amazing that you do that. It's nice and all, but I think it's the type of thing that's expected, by me at least. It shows you were raised to be a decent person with respect for women and the handicapped.
    I don't think it's amazing to do this, it's just polite.

    I just wanted to see if it's considered weird now.

  21. #21
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    I don't think it's amazing to do this, it's just polite.

    I just wanted to see if it's considered weird now.
    not wierd at all

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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    YAY!!! It is still alive!!! I knew it!!!! I just knew it was!!!!

    You are my fucken hero! Call ME a weirdo but I have raised my kids to open doors for the elderly, help them if you see they need it (ie: a elderly man was trying to carry a bunch of boxes and my daughter ran up to him and started helping him.. I didn't even have to ask her!)

    I do not understand how people can not be courteous when it needs to be. I'm all for independent women and what have you, and sometimes women take offense.. personally, I love it when a man will still open a door for me... not because he has to, but because it is a polite courtesy.

    I see nothing wrong with this, but it is sad some just don't see it that way...

    ANd Venus.. YOU ROCK... I would have done the same thing.... LOL


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    Featured Member mild2wild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    I think people not giving up their seat for the disabled/pregnant/elderly/ill/tired are just as rude as the ones who talk loudly on their mobile phones
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    God/dess kryssy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    people should have respect for others. "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you"

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    Veteran Member KennedyWinters's Avatar
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    Default Re: Giving up my seat on the bus/train/waiting area

    Here's a thought though- My friend went to thailand and people sit on eachother LAPS when seats are out. Maybe they know eachother and are related or something but wouldn;t it be cool if they just plopped down like "hey, wanna share this seat?" That would be awesome in America...all of us sitting two and three stacked on seats to save space. I'm going to do it when I'm drunk with some friends some time...

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