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Thread: Bouncer Qualifications?

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    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Bouncer Qualifications?

    I think I'd enjoy working one day a week during the day at a strip club that I don't visit as a customer. What are the qualifications for the least qualified position for a guy in street clothes? Despite having a degree and very sharp business skills, I do NOT want to be a manager just a regular guy who isn't an outsider or the enemy.

    Do I qualify for any job like a bouncer, bird dog, dj, doorman, etc.? I'm an aide at a mental hospital one day a week. So, I have training to handle violent patients and handle difficult situations. I've had a patient throw heavy stuff at me, had a patient almost take a chair to me, a ex-marine with a scalding cup of coffee in one hand and a sharp object in another, etc. People are always surprised when I act because I'm fast as shit, and they don't expect it from someone overweight. I'm only 5'9"/260lb with a lot of fat covering my strength.

    Oh, and I've spent the last three years at strip clubs so I know them better than most dancers, but I doubt being a customer elsewhere would help in my application as then I'd be seen as an outsider right?

    Btw, I make my money building websites which is HUGELY profitable so this is really only for the personal enjoyment as is my other job at the mental hospital. But, I would expect to be paid the same as anyone else.

    Also, if I'm friends with the owner of a club who probably would say whatever I want him to say as a reference, would that be required? He would probably not hire me at his club because he likes the money I spend at his club too much so wants me as a customer not employee of course.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    I can't speak personally, but I would suspect that getting just about any job in a SC is more a matter of who you know than what you know. Thats precisely why so many clubs are ran in the incompetent manner that they are.

    But I do gotta ask, why would you want a job that:

    1. Doesn't pay particularly well. (Bouncers at my home club typically get $5 from each dancer).
    2. Would in all likelihood will diminish your enjoyment of any SC as a customer.
    3. Involves large periods of boredom, punctuated by brief moments of excitment that can be scary, and possibly life threatening. Case in point.

    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=78817

    Sometimes being an "outsider" and not knowing everything has its perks.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    ^^^

    I'm guessing the allure of this job isn't the money, but a guy's hope that if he hangs around the dancers as an employee/protector figure, he may score.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    I'm sorry, why do you anticipate this being fun? Do you just enjoy fights? Working in strip clubs is not really fun (except for us, because everyone (more or less) has to put up with our crap). If you want to be a "non-enemy" just be a good customer. Bouncers who imagine that they are "in" with the dancers annoy the hell out of me, but they do frequently have dancer girlfriends, so I guess it works to some degree if that is what you are after. But again - dating a dancer is not THAT much of an accomplishment. Like a LOT of guys have done it. It really doesn't make you cool.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith View Post
    Oh, and I've spent the last three years at strip clubs so I know them better than most dancers, but I doubt being a customer elsewhere would help in my application as then I'd be seen as an outsider right?
    Not that it's relevant but what is it about being a customer that qualifies you as knowing more about strip clubs than dancers do? Just curious.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    My ex was a bouncer at a club where I didn't work. He's 6'6 and 240 of pure muscle, goes to the gym every day. He just walked in and they hired him. I doubt you'd have the same luck.

    BTW, it was a MISERABLE job for him. He's a very talented graphic designer and not a tough guy, although he does have the blue-collar Jersey accent to help. He had to take people's ID's and break up fights. His greatest story was having to break up a fight between 3 midgets. Apparently little people are very heavy.

    He also would walk the girls to their car and they would hardly EVER tip him a penny. But management told him that he would be getting tipped very well, and thus paid him a crap salary. He isn't an asshole, nor is he a pushy salesperson like me, so he would never ask. He hated it. When it was dead and he would be reading a book outside, waiting for guys, he got in trouble for READING!

    Dude, I wouldn't envy you at all.

    Another guy I worked with at another club was technically a "floor guy". They don't like to call them bouncers in TX. He was short and stocky, but had just gotten out of the Marines, so he looked tough. He hit on every single girl and soon got fired for harrassing the strippers. The girls know if you're there for the pussy and they will NOT take kindly to it.

    Yet another buddy of mine, Big Mike, a programmer, tried to get hired all over town. Big guy, mostly fat. No one gave him a gig.

    I don't see anything good coming out of this. You won't enjoy it, and unless you can already get hot chicks to sleep with you outside the club, its not going to help here.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith View Post
    Oh, and I've spent the last three years at strip clubs so I know them better than most dancers, but I doubt being a customer elsewhere would help in my application as then I'd be seen as an outsider right?
    No you don't. You don't know JACKSHIT as a customer. Don't even pretend you do because you have a buddy at one club. Its smoke and mirrors, he tells you what you want to hear because you obviously spend well there.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    It's also like "so what?"
    I know what goes on in restaurant - it doesn't make me qualified to work in one/run one/etc. "What goes on" isn't mysterious.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Ok guys. My question is whether or not I qualify. Do I? I'll respond to the posts but please don't go off topic.

    Not that it's relevant but what is it about being a customer that qualifies you as knowing more about strip clubs than dancers do? Just curious.
    I've seen more clubs. I read these forums.

    they do frequently have dancer girlfriends, so I guess it works to some degree if that is what you are after.
    If it works to some degree, then it works better than what I've done. If the dancer girlfriend doesn't happen, maybe at least it'll give me the bad boy image enough to make a non-dancer excited enough to put up with the nice guy that I am.

    But again - dating a dancer is not THAT much of an accomplishment. Like a LOT of guys have done it. It really doesn't make you cool.
    I'm not trying to be cool. I just want a trusting relationship or at least a shot at one before I give up on women who are dancers. A friend of mine who has counseled dancers tell me 95% of them aren't capable of a trusting relationship because they are either so sociopathic or victimized. I'm hoping that is not even close to true and that it is just the outsider part that has screwed up my previous chances.

    the dancers as an employee/protector figure, he may score.
    Get a trusting relationship, yes. Score? No. I can do that with a number of strippers with just a phone call and a trip to the ATM. I've had to change my number to get those strippers to stop calling me.

    But I do gotta ask, why would you want a job that:

    1. Doesn't pay particularly well. (Bouncers at my home club typically get $5 from each dancer).
    2. Would in all likelihood will diminish your enjoyment of any SC as a customer.
    3. Involves large periods of boredom, punctuated by brief moments of excitment that can be scary, and possibly life threatening.
    1. I have plenty of money. I already have one part-time job that pays less in a day of work than I'd make doing my real job for the time it takes to drive there. It is rewarding in other ways.
    2. I'm already not really enjoying SC's (in the way they are ment to be enjoyed).
    3. It will be anything but boring for me at least for the first year.

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    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    He hit on every single girl and soon got fired for harrassing the strippers. The girls know if you're there for the pussy and they will NOT take kindly to it.
    I don't harass anyone. I am a very friendly and easy going guy I'm told. I'm not the pervert bouncer type that I've seen way too many times and that you talk of. The fact that I would be open to something and flirt a little is much different than the sexual harassment I see way too often.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith View Post
    If it works to some degree, then it works better than what I've done. If the dancer girlfriend doesn't happen, maybe at least it'll give me the bad boy image enough to make a non-dancer excited enough to put up with the nice guy that I am.


    I'm not trying to be cool. I just want a trusting relationship or at least a shot at one before I give up on women who are dancers.
    Okay... why exactly are you fixating on having this "trusting relationship" with an exotic dancer as opposed to someone who... works in the land registry office? Or an event coordinator? Or something else like that?
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith View Post
    Get a trusting relationship, yes. Score? No. I can do that with a number of strippers with just a phone call and a trip to the ATM. I've had to change my number to get those strippers to stop calling me.
    I should of been clearer, of course I meant for "free" (no need for the ATM trip). I don't think anyone really thinks of it as 'scoring' when you are paying for it, well, at least I don't.

    Of course it's a common fantasy, the "I Want to Date a Stripper" fantasy, you've predicated yours on the euphemistic phrase "Get a trusting relationship" but I guess to me it just sounds like another "Want to Date a Stripper" scheme. I mean, hey, more power to you and hope it works out and all, but seriously, if you're looking for a trusting relationship, there are plenty of women looking for the same that aren't strippers. Really when you get your head around it, it's sort of a strange criteria to predicate choosing a woman over. There are plenty of great looking non-stripper girls who are freaks in bed. Besides, once they take off the makeup, the costumes, and get out in the light (vs the dark SCs) most strippers look like every other girl walking around. And you really need to figure out before even going down this road, are you the kind of guy who is really okay with your stripper girlfriend grinding on other guys cocks, kissing guys, sucking on their ears or nipples, etc. ? A lot of guys really can't handle that, and even those that can, many find it's best to just stay out of the club while she is working.

    Anyway, good luck with it.

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    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Okay... why exactly are you fixating on having this "trusting relationship" with an exotic dancer as opposed to someone who... works in the land registry office? Or an event coordinator? Or something else like that?
    Taco goblin put it well in another thread on the pink side:


    women who are attractive and SENSUAL.. and that's where y'all have got me. The sensuality & the sexiness. Knowing how to move.. the breath on the ears.. the purrs.. knowing how to sit on my lap and be far more intoxicating than anything I'm drinking with just a few subtle words and caresses. You guys have got the sensuality thing DOWN, we know it, we watch it, we experience it, we want it. Your average woman who's a secretary in an insurance office.. or an engineer.. or whatever.. they typically don't have it, might not even understand it.. but they wish they had it.
    Now.....

    Guys who work as bouncers, please: DO I HAVE THE QUALIFICATIONS?
    Last edited by Smith; 01-03-2007 at 02:09 PM. Reason: get thread back on topic

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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Smith, I'm a former manager and the fact that you have a pulse and speak English would have been enough for me to hire you to watch and time lapdances, schlepp beer from the back, change kegs and stock coolers, walk girls to their cars and break up any fights that occurred.

    But it's this: (bolding added by me)

    I don't harass anyone. I am a very friendly and easy going guy I'm told. I'm not the pervert bouncer type that I've seen way too many times and that you talk of. The fact that I would be open to something and flirt a little is much different than the sexual harassment I see way too often.
    ...that would've gotten you fired on the spot. There was a copy of the code on sexual harrassment on my door and all my employees had to sign a form acknowledging that they received it.

    YOU don't get to flirt on the job. YOUR job is to make the girls feel safe. Lord knows what the hell could be happening to one of my girls in the laproom while your attention is on a dancer and "being open to things".

    I never stopped my employees from getting involved with each other. But that shit happens OUTSIDE, not when I'm paying you and not when you expect the girls to tip you for protecting them.

    If you can't understand the simple concept that you are there to work and that the club is NO different from your day job, except for the gorgeous scenery, then you don't belong there.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith View Post
    I'm not trying to be cool. I just want a trusting relationship or at least a shot at one before I give up on women who are dancers.
    Ahh yes, another delusional fellow whose fallen for the "gee she dolls up like a whore, grinds on cocks, and wears 7" heels to work, so she must have the tightest most magic pussy in the world" mirage.

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith View Post
    A friend of mine who has counseled dancers tell me 95% of them aren't capable of a trusting relationship because they are either so sociopathic or victimized.
    Umm......oh dear.

    And I think I see Mr. Punk getting the tennis ball cannon ready.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Featured Member GenWar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish View Post
    Ahh yes, another delusional fellow whose fallen for the "gee she dolls up like a whore, grinds on cocks, and wears 7" heels to work, so she must have the tightest most magic pussy in the world" mirage.
    Ummm...wait...what? What mirage? I don't get it.

    -gen
    "See, believe it or not (and I don't care whether you do), it's never been about the sex. I get sex at home, anytime, and we like it, and it's good for both of us. No, my stripclub experience has been about acceptance, and affirmation, and desirability...There have been some women who have a personality that just clicks with mine, and in the faux-sex atmosphere of the club, it's a mix that is completely seductive." - Jay Zeno

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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Based on your physical description of yourself, you probably could be an effective bouncer assuming you could put your game face on when needed and apply the appropriate intimidation techniques. As far as getting dancer pussy as a result of your position, well, that might be possible but I wouldnt make that the high card in my hand. Dancers are attracted to power and money. They know that bouncers survive on dancer generousity and lets face it, dancers can be very stingy if theyve had a bad night moneywise. Also, by the time the club owner, manager and assistant manager (who are the real centers of power) have worked their way through the dancers, there isnt much left. The barback, floorguy and bathroom troll might aspire to be you, but seems to me that would be a phyrric victory at best with minimal bragging rights. Seriously, sumo wrestling might be a better alternative. They are celebrities in their own right. Good luck, though, in whatever path you choose.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish View Post
    ...so she must have the tightest most magic pussy in the world"
    Are you trying to suggest that this isn't true? I thought this was common knowledge. WTH???

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    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Based on your physical description of yourself, you probably could be an effective bouncer assuming you could put your game face on when needed and apply the appropriate intimidation techniques.
    Intimidation isn't my style unless very short and situational. I doubt I'd have any fun having to stand there and make people terrified of me. Perhaps yall are right this is a waste of time. Are barback or floorguy required the same? Or is just situational intimidation to for example get someone out of the club or start being a good boy in the champaign room enough?

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Honey - and I say this affectionately:
    a) wanting to date a stripper is, I must stress a stupid thing to want. I saw TG's post, and trust me, I'm in a position to know, it is NOT TRUE. Inaccurate.
    b) wanting to date just any stripper means that you are inevitably going to get the dregs.
    c) you're not the only guy with a stripper fetish. If the best the stripper can do is the barback... enough said. Well, maybe not - is enough said? If with all the guys in a night hitting on her she goes for the barback she either i) really likes you and just thinks you have a super personality (in which case taking the job is a waste of time) or ii) is a complete dreg. Barbacks and bouncers are NOT stripper catnip. Seriously - with affection - smarten up.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Do you want more beating, or have you had enough yet?

    Edit: strange, thinking about this. I've probably worked with hundreds of bouncers over the years and I've never fucked a single one. And I'm an enormously dirty slut. Things that make you go........................

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Yeah I guess it would be fairly obvious and pathetic why I'm there in if I'm a barback and I have a six figure "real" job.

    Perhaps I should take the five figures a year I've been spending in clubs and buy part of one? I could be yet another owner who is a complete pervert and pressures the girls into sex (I know of two such owners). Just joking!!!!! I'm not going to buy a club.

    You are right Jenny. I should give up. I'm going to have to build a whole new circle of friends because most of them are strippers where it did not work out. (Most of my male friends are married and busy with their family now.) I am NOT looking forward to it.

    Think it unwise to pay stripper friends to let me use her as a pawn in singles bars to make some new female friends? Can you imagine how much easier it would be in a single club if you already have the hotest girl in the club on your arm to then meet the second most? Boy... THAT might make a bad impression when the new girl I met eventually figures it out.

    Oh well. I've given up on the bouncer thing so I guess this topic is done.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Actually, in my experience, owners have been far more professional and distant than actual managers and day-to-day staff. General manager though, total pervs!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Member Smith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Heh... instead of doing this, I should just wave a couple thousand or blackmail an owner/GM with a tape of the sexual harassment into completely making up a job for me where I get to sit in the bar, spend no money, and tell everyone what to do but otherwise not do shit (so I can be stripper catnip from the power, right?). Actually isn't that the job of the resident pervert GM? Darn, already filled! So close. Heh.

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bouncer Qualifications?

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith View Post

    I'm not trying to be cool. I just want a trusting relationship or at least a shot at one before I give up on women who are dancers.
    Well why didn't you say you where just trying to get laid to begin with?
    Why is it a prerequisite that the woman you want a trusting relationship with be a dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Smith View Post
    A friend of mine who has counseled dancers tell me 95% of them aren't capable of a trusting relationship because they are either so sociopathic or victimized. I'm hoping that is not even close to true and that it is just the outsider part that has screwed up my previous chances.
    Has it occurred to either you or your friend that the dancers he or she is counseling are the ones who feel they need counseling? The ones who are not seeking help are most likely perfectly normal human beings with a high stress job.

    Dude, you are dangerous enough as a customer. The last thing any dancer needs is you watching her back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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