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Thread: Farting!

  1. #1
    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Arrow Farting!

    Ok this is gross -

    i keep farting! theyre little quiet farts..silent but deadly..and smell like rotten eggs!(sorry) lol.

    its suck working because when im showing my backside, i jus keep thinkin 'dont fart in his face!'

    i had this problem a while ago....then it went away.

    now it came bak! ugh!

    what should i do? buy some beano or somethin?

    thanks haha sorry if the info was too much
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  2. #2
    Cally
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    Default Re: Farting!

    Stay away from carbonated drinks and greasy food... if I eat pizza or drink alot of soda i get really bad gas... also if your drinking redbull.. step away from it lol. Other then that do a search its been talked about before...

    Hey at least if a guy is grabby you can bend over n fart in his face

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    might be a build up of lactic acid in your system. massage your thighs where it's probably building up and drink lots of water to flush out the toxins.

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    My farts seriously don't smell UNLESS I eat dairy. Then they're fucking horrific. Try cutting dairy?

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    I'm the queen of loud, stinky, 20 second long farts ... and it keeps getting worse with age ! Towards the end of my regular live dancing days, I would make a serious effort to 'cut one' in the corridor just prior to going back on stage ... in order to 'reduce the pressure' and the odds of having one sneak out at an innopportune customer moment.

    On the other hand, if a lap dance customer was being a real and total asshole, I could always dance with my back to him and ...

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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    Sometimes this happens to me... but its accompanied by burping that is also egg-like. Ew. Very random, and not very often... but it sucks so bad. I dunno wtf it is though.
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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    I've had this happen sometimes, I take GasX and it works for me.

    Maybe you should change your name to Beak-Windy! JK!

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    Featured Member Paintbaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    Activated charcoal tablets. At the health food store. Run. Go get!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Farting!

    ^^Careful with too much charcoal or simethicone (Gas-X and other similar products), because it can make you very constipated. But indeed, short term, they work.

    I sound like old grandma molly talking about all her digestive issues, but noxious gas is usually a byproduct of indigestion. When things don't go smoothly, the guts turn stuff over and around, so gas gets trapped, and builds up (making you bloated, uncomfortable, and smelly!). Try fennel tea after meals until the problem goes away (you can get that at health stores too). It's a very powerful gut-muscle relaxer that will help reduce gas. A strong cup of peppermint tea helps too. The best thing for gas is to avoid it in the first place, because once it's there, you can use simethicone or charcoal, but that shouldn't be a day-to-day solution. Also, keep a food diary of what you eat, and what happens to you after. You should be able to figure out what foods are causing the problem. Like others said- fatty foods, carbonated drinks, and dairy are all big offenders (same as too much insoluble fibre if your body isn't used to it...it's true what they say about beans).

  10. #10
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Farting!

    I get a similar problem with lots of rank SBD's right before my period and for the first day or two that I bleed. I think it's hormonal. They smell like fertilizer.

  11. #11
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Farting!

    Try eating peppermint candies (the oil "unkinks" your digestive tract). Celestial Seasonings has a bagged Peppermint Tea you can keep at work for this kind of thing.

  12. #12
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    Do you think that you have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome)? I have it. I get stinky farts and the acid shits if I don't get enough sleep, ingest any kind of caffeine especially coffee or chocolate, or if I don't eat enough fiber.

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    Default Re: Farting!

    IS that why your name is WINDY? lol, J/k.

    Look at your diet. Some things you eat will make your, toots, stinkier than others...maybe try beano?

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    Featured Member sophiemarie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    That is what someone did over Manhattan island yesterday. A terrrible smell all thru the city. I was downtown for an interview at 12 pm and boy did it stink.



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    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    Quote Originally Posted by lilhotmama View Post
    IS that why your name is WINDY? lol, J/k.

    Look at your diet. Some things you eat will make your, toots, stinkier than others...maybe try beano?
    ^^ Aww, beatin' to the punch!LOL!

    This was on Oprah yesterday...hope it helps you understand and combat your gas!

    We have two main sources for nature's rear-propulsion system. Flatus comes from the air we swallow (20 percent) and the digestion of foods by bacteria in our intestines (80 percent). We have trillions of bacteria in our intestines and 500 species that are so lethal that any alone could kill us. These bacteria love digesting sugars, fiber, or milk (if lactose deficient) that we cannot digest quickly. The result is lots of gas made up of carbon dioxide, nitrogen, and methane (which is flammable). You can reduce swallowing air by avoiding cigarettes, gum, carbonated beverages, or eating and drinking quickly together.

    Think of your body as a refrigerator. If you let food sit in there, it's going to smell after a while. In your body, sulfur-rich foods like eggs, meat, beer, beans, and cauliflower are decomposed by bacteria to release hydrogen sulfide—a smell strong enough to flatten a bear. Avoiding these foods is the ideal solution, but when stinky gas persists, the best solutions are leafy green vegetables and probiotics (specifically lactobacilli GG. These can be found in some yogurts). Beano can sometimes work with beans, but soaking the beans ahead of time is useful as well.

  16. #16
    Featured Member sophiemarie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    Women have larger small intestines than men which is why we are gassier and fart more.
    Listen to this person, what are you eating?



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    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    haha ya its why i called myself windy. fartings my charm lol jk

    thanks for the advice. i duno i have been tryna eat healthier lately. i admitt i do eat unhealthy. maybe thats it?

    well thanks anyways! hopefully it goes away - ugh! i hate it! theyre like air-y little farts...some stink really bad, some dont smell like anything. grrr!
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    Veteran Member dollyrocker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    I JUST started dancing, and my best friend (whos been dancing for 8 years) says that whenever she farts during a lap dance, she just changes positions and sticks the guys face as close to her boobs as possible. That way he smells the perfume smell and not the fart. hahahaha

    Also, onions are the devil - avoid them at all costs! If you cook at home, you should invest in a seasoning called Aesofoetida ( ass-o-fetid-uh) which is powdered fennell bulb and can be purchased from any east Indian grocery store; I believe 'hing' is the Hindi name for it. It's a great substitute for onions AND it prevents gas!

  19. #19
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Farting!

    I think it's how healthy you eat, in part. I know I get a gassy feeling when I eat junk, but if I stick to a healthy fresh diest I'm fine. I very rarely fart or burp, so who knows...... reading this thread just made me feel gassy, I'm getting sympathy pains for you.... lol

  20. #20
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    I'm the queen of loud, stinky, 20 second long farts ... and it keeps getting worse with age ! Towards the end of my regular live dancing days, I would make a serious effort to 'cut one' in the corridor just prior to going back on stage ... in order to 'reduce the pressure' and the odds of having one sneak out at an innopportune customer moment.

    On the other hand, if a lap dance customer was being a real and total asshole, I could always dance with my back to him and ...
    LOL... you know Melonie, back when I danced I had horrible gas one night, and one slipped thru during a lap dance.. the guy asked me to do it again! WTF??? And, he gave me a nice tip.... not all guys are offended.. perhaps it was a realization that everything they do... WE do also!

    Peppermint tea is the solution for me, and I eat lots of fresh veggies, I avoid dairy and I take a fiber supplement and calcium supplement- the fiber mainly to keep things moving along and the calcium due to having issues with dairy... but peppermint tea helps calm a upset tummy and helps reduce all of the noise.


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    Default Re: Farting!

    Hey! Wow this all sounds cool! Did you thought that a guy might like it if you fart in his face? For a long time I am searching girls that like to fart in my face but did not found them. would you do it if I ask for it? :-)

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    Lol, when I used to ask for dances and they would say "let me finish me cigar", most of them do stink. I felt like saying let me just save you that 20 bucks and fart in your face.

  23. #23
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting!

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    I'm the queen of loud, stinky, 20 second long farts ... .........................if a lap dance customer was being a real and total asshole, I could always dance with my back to him and ...
    Is this before or after you put his ass in a hammer lock?


    But really, LMFAO!!! Mel you always crack me up

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