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Thread: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

  1. #1
    Yekhefah
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    Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    I was at the gym the other day and "The View" was on one of the TVs. They started doing a segment on "the secret beauty techniques of strippers," and I was stuck on the elliptical machine anyway, so I watched it for a few minutes. It was hilarious!

    According to this woman they had on there, all strippers shave their legs with AstroGlide. You can use KY Gel, as well. While this is an interesting idea, I've certainly never heard of it and I thought it was funny that all these women nationwide are picturing strippers at home shaving their legs with ass lubricant.

    Then they explained that strippers want their lips to be very bright red and they don't want to touch them up often. So what do strippers do? They color their lips with RED MAGIC MARKER. I can just imagine some ghetto chick in the dressing room drawing on her face with a marker, and I've worked in some very ghetto clubs, but I've NEVER seen this! I was cracking up laughing right there in the gym, thinking, "Uh, honey, I really think strippers actually just use QUALITY lipstick!"

    There were other tricks like using toilet seat covers to blot oil from your face and stuff like that, but the stripper tricks cracked me up because this woman was presenting them as absolute fact. And when one woman called her a pole dancer, she got offended and she certainly NEVER was!

    Stupid ass women. Excuse me, I'm off to shave with ass lube and draw on my face now...

  2. #2
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Wow. That's all very creative.

    Although, I was in the bathroom with a dancer last night and she explained how she used the seat covers to wipe so the toilet paper wouldn't come apart on her. I hadn't heard that before. I thought that's what baby wipes are for.
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    LOL yes Ive never heard of that lube or lipstick trick before. What next? Maybe we use the spooge from our lap dances to make our hair stay put? I hate those View bitches.
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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    hahahaha...shaving with ass lube.

    when I think of stripper makeup, MAC comes to mind.

  5. #5
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    ^^^ Well, of course I do that. Doesn't everybody?

  6. #6
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    are you sure those are women's prison beauty tips?

    jeezus...if a stripper use toilet seat covers on her face, I'd wonder what she did with all her money so that she couldn't afford the real face blotting tissues.

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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    This is the weirest shit I've ever heard!Did they have any tips from models too?I wonder where they got all that crap,but would love to see this show just for laughs.

  8. #8
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Well, face blotter and toilet seat covers are actually the same thing, aren't they? I heard that one before (not in a stripper context, just a cheap alternative to blotting paper).

    Would astroglide work? Would you use it like shaving cream? Why? Is it a moisturizer or what? I once bought a "lip marker" from the body shop, which had a similar effect to magic marker (or I guess - I've never actually magic markered my lips). I'm actually interested in these - well, not so much the marker, as it doesn't come in many shades - but I'm always interested in new shaving techniques. It must a very local/regional thing where she went into one club where the dancers shared grooming tips.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  9. #9
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Yeah, the AstroGlide is actually an interesting idea. Seems a bit expensive to me but I can see how it would work. It's basically just oil, isn't it? I rub down my legs with baby oil gel sometimes after shaving, and it does make them very silky.

    I shave with conditioner instead of shaving cream and it works really well. It softens the hairs so you get a closer shave, and moisturizes the skin. And I can get a big bottle of conditioner at the 99 Cent store.

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Even if a stripper did give the marker on the lips advice, why the fuck would they broadcast such bad advice???? Yeah, ladies put some toxic around your lips.

  11. #11
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    markers for kids (like crayola) are non toxic

  12. #12
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    jeezus...if a stripper use toilet seat covers on her face, I'd wonder what she did with all her money so that she couldn't afford the real face blotting tissues.
    I'm guilty of this one...hey, if you run out at work and didn't have a fresh pack with you, you have no other choice!

  13. #13
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    markers for kids (like crayola) are non toxic
    They're non-toxic, but they're also not permanent and wash away with water (or saliva).

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    Member Tefnut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    BUSTED! *puts crayola back in pencil case* lol what a load of crap i wouldnt call my yves lippy a pen!

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    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Hey I don't know what's wrong with the rest of you, I just got done coloring in my lips with red marker, doing my eyeshadow with blue, and shaving with the generic version of astroglide (couldn't afford the real stuff with my cocaine addiction). Geez not all of us can be rich and afford REAL makeup
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    I have a friend who shaves with biosilk, which is pretty much the same thing as astroglide. It's not oil (which breaks down condoms) but silicone. It would probably work great! But generic hair serum would be the same thing and much cheaper.

  17. #17
    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Is this is why Target always runs out of red Sharpies before they run out of the other colors? *Scribble scribble* Seriously, where did they get their info? If they knew what they were talking about they would know Harmony Star Dust brings us poor little strippers real lip gloss. It's why we cry when she gives it to us.

  18. #18
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    I have a friend who shaves with biosilk, which is pretty much the same thing as astroglide. It's not oil (which breaks down condoms) but silicone. It would probably work great! But generic hair serum would be the same thing and much cheaper.
    Damn, that stuff is expensive; no way I'd use it for leg hair

  19. #19
    Featured Member sophiemarie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Dancers have so many beauty tips. Hollywood Stars come to us for the real deal. There are too many to name...............



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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Quote Originally Posted by gingerlee View Post
    If they knew what they were talking about they would know Harmony Star Dust brings us poor little strippers real lip gloss. It's why we cry when she gives it to us.
    That's hilarious!!
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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    and the sad part is that they probably wouldn't run a correction--

    "This just in: Max Factor and Mac are used by strippers NOT sharpies like we previously stated. And while we know they're all whores with loads of astroglide that they get from the abortion clinics, they actually favor shaving gel or sometimes conditioner."

    -eye roll-

    "stupid view bitches" precisely.

  22. #22
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Now see, I kept a straight face until Harmony Star Dust was brought up.



    I'm also tempted to go find a red marker and see how close to Bozo I can look

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    Featured Member Guenevere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Quote Originally Posted by gingerlee View Post
    Is this is why Target always runs out of red Sharpies before they run out of the other colors? *Scribble scribble* Seriously, where did they get their info? If they knew what they were talking about they would know Harmony Star Dust brings us poor little strippers real lip gloss. It's why we cry when she gives it to us.
    If we're all so broke that we gotta use markers then we'd probably have to get them at wal mart though!!! LMAO!!!

  24. #24
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Do they make sharpies in a deeper red? burgandy, maybe???I don't wanna look like a carny, but I'm all out of lip gloss, and Harmony hasn't been around to restock my stash

    :tear:

  25. #25
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Stripper Beauty Tips, According to the View

    Well, actually they did say you're supposed to use washable markers like Crayolas, not sharpies. And Crayola markers come in all kinds of different colors, so you're in luck! Head down to Wal-Mart, girl! And try not to cry too hard if Harmony comes back.

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