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Thread: Single moms on your own ...

  1. #1
    Veteran Member JennyDahl's Avatar
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    Default Single moms on your own ...

    How do you do it ? I am a single mom BUT I live with my mom right now and she does alot to take care of us . I really feel lost not taking care of myself and I really want to move out BUT I can't imagine what my life would be like . My mom is a very unique person and not the type of person I could stand living with for much longer , I don't want to go into details . Anyways how do you get through your day alone ?? You wake up put your kid in daycare and go to work but what if you work nights like most of us ??? I want to go back to school and dance a few nights a week ....when do you see you kids ?? I am afraid if I do this on my own I wont be able to give my daughter a quality life , not that living with my mom is quality either .....I am confused right now and not sure what to do BUT I look at how I would have to do things and I just can not see how it would work !! Are there any single moms living alone with their kids on here ??? Can you share how you get through your days ?? How do you think your lifestyle is affecting your kids ? By lifestyle I mean independent single mom thing . Thanks
    Don't you just love me ?!?

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    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Single moms on your own ...

    I wish I could help you sweetie, but alas, I'm not a mom yet. You could look into hiring a nanny/au pair. At the very least you would need a good, reliable baby-sitter. You could put your child/ren into daycare while you're in school and then have a baby-sitter for the nights you work. All this can get expensive of course. But you need the help. Even parents that are together have a hard time balancing work and family. Like I said, I wish I could say more to help, but you will have to find something that works for your unique situation. Do some research, check out single mom groups in your area or online, and hopefully you will find some support. Good luck.

  3. #3
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Single moms on your own ...

    When my daughter was younger, she went to a nighttime child care facility (it was actually a 24 hour facility after awhile). We would spend the day together, nap together, then before work I would drop her off. They would feed her dinner, do activities, play, whatever, then at bedtime, all the kids would change into jammies and go to bed. There was a bed for each child. When I was done with work, I would go pick her up and take her home and put her in her own bed. When I worked a "real" job and danced 2 nights a week, she would go during the day and for a long day 2 days a week.

    My suggestion to you is to research child care facilities in your area. There are many options available to you if you're willing to look. Sometimes, you have to do what you have to do to accomplish your goals (i.e. school, earning a living, etc.).

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    Default Re: Single moms on your own ...

    Not a dancer but a divorced single mom of three, so I know what you're going through. The job I've had for the last 5 years is with a local school district and the pay sucks. I've been looking for a new job, but the daycare issue is what's killing me.

    Glamazon said it best, you do what you must to have the best for your child. You'll figure out what that is I'm sure, sometimes it takes a push (like mom driving you nuts) to get us out there.

    GOOD LUCK!
    m

  5. #5
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Single moms on your own ...

    Jenny-

    I did respond to the PM you sent me, but, here's something else I forgot to suggest to you- Have you thought about getting a room mate? This could be a win win situation if you found a college student.. someone who is home at night that would be able to allow your child to be at home, but still being within adult supervision. I have a friend now, who is recently divorced, dancing and this is what she is doing and it works for them.

    You obviously would want to do a complete background check (which I can give you some information on where to get one done for nothing, or very low cost) and you would also want to probably give a discount for room and board... but it could be a good investment.

    Just a thought.


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  6. #6
    Veteran Member JennyDahl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Single moms on your own ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gynger View Post
    Jenny-

    I did respond to the PM you sent me, but, here's something else I forgot to suggest to you- Have you thought about getting a room mate? This could be a win win situation if you found a college student.. someone who is home at night that would be able to allow your child to be at home, but still being within adult supervision. I have a friend now, who is recently divorced, dancing and this is what she is doing and it works for them.

    You obviously would want to do a complete background check (which I can give you some information on where to get one done for nothing, or very low cost) and you would also want to probably give a discount for room and board... but it could be a good investment.

    Just a thought.
    Yes thank you I got it and I have thought about doing this , when I lived in Seattle I met this really sweet girl who lived with a couple as a nanny while she was in school and she worked a few nights too .....I would love to have someone like her . I think it would be better than having her in daycare BUT I just hate to be overly optimistic about things working out so well and of course my daughter looks forward to seeing my mom every night too ............ugh
    Don't you just love me ?!?

  7. #7
    Veteran Member JennyDahl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Single moms on your own ...

    OMG , my mom and i had the biggest fight last night she can be so mean . Lately she has been saying things that sound exactly like a mean husband ...exp , I was getting nausea after eating and she says to me " you better not be pregnant (I know that was a joke but then she says) Oh god your pregnant aren't you ?!" Ok first of all I never leave the house unless its to run a errand , I don't work and do not have friends here in Florida and she knows this better than everyone so basically if I was to have sex with someone I would be screwing a neighbor or the mailman . I remind her of all this and she says" Well really how would I know , I mean really ?? HOW would I know what you do all day !??!"

    I was really hurt by the look on her face , YOU know when someone is joking with you .....you can tell and she was not . I don't mean to sound petty but trust me that was just the icing on the cake . She bought 2 puppies for x-mas which that was really nice of her and it cost her ( money we could have used to fix the A/C or clean the carpet from the last dog we had) but now I am stuck with these 2 dogs all day when I already have a 8 month old who is a handful !! My mom really acts like a 20 yr old boy sometimes . The only chore she does is take the trash out (which is fine because she works 2 jobs and I AM here to do the rest) BUT when she is mad at me she wont empty out my trash or the bathroom or the baby's diaper pail and just wont say anything to me about it . The other day before I got up she had the puppies out and they shit about 4 piles and then she puts them away and leaves for work , leaving the piles for me to enjoy when I get up !! Doesn't this sound ridiculous !??! She is a really dirty person in my book , I am messy but not filthy ......I really feel like I am living with my little brother not my mother .

    Then to make matters worse I get call from the cable company that our cable is about to be shut off when just last month I woke up to the lights being shut off .....She never even seems to know about any of this either which makes me think that she is not even trying . Well I am going through bills now and I am going to sit her down and talk this through tonight and I am not listening to her excuses anymore . I just feel ungrateful and helpless though , she does work hard and gives my daughter a lot but .......thats not always enough I guess
    Don't you just love me ?!?

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    Veteran Member JennyDahl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Single moms on your own ...

    let me ask you guys your thoughts on this one . Another idea I was pondering was getting a larger place and renting out the rooms to other single moms that way we could take care of each others kids and it would always be in the home . Plus I like the idea of a mom watching my kid because SHE IS a mom and she has been there ...I dunno thats a dream I guess ......just thinking out loud .
    Don't you just love me ?!?

  9. #9
    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: Single moms on your own ...

    Do you have anyone else to babysit your baby im currently living with my mom and she doesnt help me out with babysitting I have someone else do it, and when I didn't have a ride I would take a taxi. Its not that bad getting up in the morning just work all you can to get your life together asap and why not live on your own you'll find it soo much better. I dont live alone yet but usually feels like I do because no one is ever really here and I clean the whole house and usually leavewith my daughter somewhere before there here.

  10. #10
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Single moms on your own ...

    My daughter stayed with her father alot when she was young (overnight at times) and i picked her up during the day. I spent every single day with her during day care days and beyond...just not 24/7. And children don't need a parent 24/7 imo it makes them clingy.

    Also we had a 24/7 child care as well. And i did use it at times. I also always had 2 roomates, who are great!

    I have been working since i was 16, had my daughter young, and made it work.

    I grabbed two wonderful roomies (actually 3 roomates, but one moved more south Fl) and we all got a large house. It works great.

    I love my roomates. We agree not one of us brings in parties unless we all agree to put one on...no strangers in our home without all of us there (i own guns, etc) and this all works great.

    Besides, owning many large snakes keeps scum out anyway! As does my dogs!

    Good luck.

  11. #11
    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Single moms on your own ...

    if you could find another single mom that could be a good person to share an apt with. It might be hard to find someone who wants to be a caretaker for your child and a roommate but maybe if you found someone who wants to be a sitter/nanny and give them a break on the rent in exchange for watching your child. Or could you leave your baby with your mom while you work but then just get your own place? I know it's got to be hard. All I have is a dog and she's a handful!

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