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Thread: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    So I got this gimmiky omlette maker thing ....

    Lets give this a shot
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    Holy SHIT EGGS boil FAST!
    HAHAHA I don't think the wayward suggestion of a drop of veggie oil to make it easier to clean was a great idea *looks at the burning egg pieces on his arm and chest*
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    hahah one of the joints just burst into flames.... heee squirt gun action in the kitchen!

    and I'm cutting up the peppers and shit with a filet knife...using the tip...I can't find my good one!
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  4. #4
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    Smells like dental work in here....
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    OMG....I don't know whether to laugh or to ask if you're ok?

    So...

    *giggle, snort* Are you ok, Mast? *giggle, snort*

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    here's to pulling out the grated cheese from the fridge open end down

    heh but still, I have another bag!

    oh fuck, a wayward piece of pepper rolled off... and I instinctively went to grab it

    owies.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  7. #7
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    Well this is NOT AS SHOWN ON TV,
    but I thought everything was cool.... then I did the flip....

    shit.
    went.
    everywhere.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    Be careful Mast! Might I suggest Village Inn?

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    well I flipped it and turn the burner down from high to med low, gonna let it sit for a second while the cheese melts, and I wipe off my melting dignity from the devices to the right of the stove in my kitchen



    Just thought I'd share, you know how the dials on the stove say 'Hi'?

    Hehe everytime i walk by the stove to the shower I always say "Hi Stove" out loud or in my head....since I'm by myself here anyway, the stove she comforts me, and we laugh together.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    Mast, you and I seem to be on the same wavelength this morning.

    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...d.php?p=933893



    But I win for lousiest chef, because my mishap was in a MICROWAVE.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    yea, this is more like omlette salad or some crazy shit. I went to serve it and it looks like the center decided the pan wasn't a 'non-stick' pan.

    Sooooo I called on my trusty new sidekick...SPATCH....OOLA.

    It got it out, but apparently in the process, I broke th engine block, fuel line, and it popped a timing belt....now the omlette misfires, but it's sitting here, testing my resolve....


    *coyly reaches for the Sams Club Ketchup Bottle*
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  12. #12
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    *crunch crunch crunch* mmmmRJust wriiike *crunch* momma used to mmmfake...
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    bwahahahahah. Your kitchen hijinks never fail to amuse me. *grabs some popcorn and waits for mast to blow something else up*
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    Geezus...makes me burning veggies look like gourmet cooking. Thank God...LOL

    Mast, you really should consider hiring a chef. It would save you so much money in band aids and burn spray. bwahahahaha

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    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    Good call, Venus. Let's hire him a chef. Although I'm starting to wonder if there's some kind of toxic fume leakage going on there that could be the REAL culprit. Anyway, did the special pan really burst into flame? Is it ruined? Poor halpess gadget.

    Interviewing anyone yet, Mast? I love to imagine the rigors of a hiring process invented by by you.
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

  16. #16
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    Lol, exellent - you sound like me, Im not alone, lol!
    This is how I came to give up cooking, in fact my friends begged me to or told me to give it up! Now i understand the kitchen comment, lol!

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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    the SW boys sure are domestic gods! nothing finer than a kitchen covered in non-specific egg-based goo. it is fine adhesive. NASA would do well to use it to hold their space tiles on.

    i have to now exclaim, 'baby don't LOOK!' whenever i attempt stove-toppery, because it invariably ends up a shitfight... clumps of goodness baked to the top surface.

    i blame the stove maker for shitty design, not my flipping and/or stirring skills.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    You all have no faith!

    VenusGoddess, I TOTALLY disagree. I bring this on myself. If I wasn't dancing, and archshooting the veggies into the pan 90% of this wouldn't happen. And ON TOP of THAT I totallllly enjoy yelling BAM whenever I put ANYTHING in a PAN.

    I will totally web cam this one day.

    Nautilus, you really don't make enough roasts, Leela.

    Aussie: Fuckem. Make food. Will travel.

    Interviewing anyone yet, Mast? I love to imagine the rigors of a hiring process invented by by you.
    Wear something red.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    And ON TOP of THAT I totallllly enjoy yelling BAM whenever I put ANYTHING in a PAN.

    I will totally web cam this one day.
    .
    Oh god, this made me laugh so hard I cried. I can totally picture this.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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    Featured Member Lola Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    OMG, Mast. I am having you copyrighted. People, put your bid on shares now. I swear it, we will be rich when he goes public.




    "Go Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams...Live the Life You Have Imagined" -- Henry David Thoreau

    "You Will Be Successful in Business and Married Life" -- Fortune Cookie

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    Default Re: 2007-01-07 The Death of a Kitchen

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish View Post
    Mast, you and I seem to be on the same wavelength this morning.

    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...d.php?p=933893



    But I win for lousiest chef, because my mishap was in a MICROWAVE.
    how dare you do such a thing to the noble triscuit.

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