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Thread: Should I call?

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    Veteran Member datchapin's Avatar
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    Default Should I call?

    Okay, here goes. Usually girls will give me their #'s for whatever reason and I toss the # in a drawer. (Maybe I should clean it out.) I'm sure they don't care if I call or not so I usually don't. If they're there the next time I go that's cool if not it's cool. Anyways the other night this girl called me out on it. Why haven't you called? Yeah, that was a little awkward. Anyways she's always on me about wanting to do shit OTC. However after reading a ton of shit on here I've become very weary about that shit. I mean on the one hand I can't blame her, I am awesome. On the other hand I'm not that awesome, plus she's awesome herself so I don't wanna, you know, fuck shit up. Plus, I can't find her # (damn I really need to get that drawer organized.) Okay I wrote all that so everyone can give an opinion on my situation.

    The general question I have is this. When dancers give out their # what do they expect. Do you do this just to cultivate a regular or do you not mind if they just call to see how you're doing, conversate, whatever?
    The more I see, the less I know, the more I like to let it go! - RHCP

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Quote Originally Posted by datchapin View Post
    Okay, here goes. Usually girls will give me their #'s for whatever reason and I toss the # in a drawer. (Maybe I should clean it out.)
    You are surely a god.
    I mean on the one hand I can't blame her, I am awesome. On the other hand I'm not that awesome, plus she's awesome herself so I don't wanna, you know, fuck shit up.
    Sadly, I TOTALLY hear what you're saying.
    The general question I have is this. When dancers give out their # what do they expect. Do you do this just to cultivate a regular or do you not mind if they just call to see how you're doing, conversate, whatever?
    Only one way to find out. *Hands you his phone*

    It's only a fucking phone call. Sheesh, not like you're making emotional history here

    Call the girl, really besides a VM, what's the WORST that can happen? Finding out she just wants you around for money? A great conversation but nothing more?

    There are far worst things my friend.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Veteran Member datchapin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    You are surely a god.
    I like to think of myself's as budha's skinny cousin. J/K. I guess I should have said when they do. It doesn't happen too often.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    Sadly, I TOTALLY hear what you're saying.
    Finally, someone that understands the burden of being awesome.


    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    Only one way to find out. *Hands you his phone*

    It's only a fucking phone call. Sheesh, not like you're making emotional history here

    Call the girl, really besides a VM, what's the WORST that can happen? Finding out she just wants you around for money? A great conversation but nothing more?

    There are far worst things my friend.
    Yeah, I hear what you saying, but I was bored. I see when everyone asks a question they have a story so I figured I'd put up a story myself. I just wanted to hear what other's thought about the question I posted after. I'm thinking about calling.... I just don't feel like hunting the # down right now. Thanks for offering the phone though.
    The more I see, the less I know, the more I like to let it go! - RHCP

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    Veteran Member datchapin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I call?

    By the way, what's a VM?
    The more I see, the less I know, the more I like to let it go! - RHCP

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Quote Originally Posted by datchapin View Post
    By the way, what's a VM?
    LOL VM=voice mail

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    When dancers give out their # what do they expect. Do you do this just to cultivate a regular or do you not mind if they just call to see how you're doing, conversate, whatever?
    First of all, conversate is not a friggin' word; don't use it to impress her, because if she's like Jenny or Tampadancer, you're already in the doghouse.

    Secondly, one axiom of life is just as true in the SC; fortune favors the bold. Every time a dancer has given me a phone number, I've called. Not to shock you or anything, but it's a very good way of determining their interest.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Quote Originally Posted by datchapin View Post
    The general question I have is this. When dancers give out their # what do they expect. Do you do this just to cultivate a regular or do you not mind if they just call to see how you're doing, conversate, whatever?
    Dancers give out their number to cultivate a regular. It has nothing to do with how they "feel" about you.

    If a dancer is truly interested in you, you wouldn't have the slightest doubt in the world. It's one of those "if you have to ask, the answer is 'no'" things.

    Anyway, having her number in your phone is important so when she calls, your cell will tell you exactly who she is.

    Oh, and it's bad form for you to call her. The "why don't you call me" is ITC hustle. If she wants to talk to you, she will call you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer View Post
    First of all, conversate is not a friggin' word; don't use it to impress her, because if she's like Jenny or Tampadancer, you're already in the doghouse.
    Well, the term is dialect, and it's a generational marker. It's in common use among people under the age of about 25. It's distinguished from "converse" in that it's all about what used to be called "chit chat." To "converse" is serious; to "conversate" is what you do in text messages or by cell phone. I predict it will survive, even though it's a back formation, and will appear in dictionaries soon. I will certainly vote for it on the dictionaries where I am a consultant.

    Of course, this doesn't mean that you won't be in hot water with Jenny or TD if you actually use the term. But in my admittedly limited experience, it's pretty hard not to be in hot water with Jenny at some point or another, no matter what you do.

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer View Post
    Secondly, one axiom of life is just as true in the SC; fortune favors the bold. Every time a dancer has given me a phone number, I've called. Not to shock you or anything, but it's a very good way of determining their interest.
    I agree that fortune favors the bold. But just speaking from my personal experience, I find that if I need a cell phone to determine their interest, I must have been really screaming drunk when they were actually sitting next to me.

    Oh, and how in God's name do you find the time? If I called every dancer who ever gave me her cell number, I'd have to sell the businesses, all the holdings and the real estate and pretty much just hang out with you and Mast. We could spend the whole day returning phone calls.
    Last edited by All Good Things; 01-07-2007 at 09:19 PM.

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer View Post
    First of all, conversate is not a friggin' word; don't use it to impress her, because if she's like Jenny or Tampadancer, you're already in the doghouse.

    Secondly, one axiom of life is just as true in the SC; fortune favors the bold. Every time a dancer has given me a phone number, I've called. Not to shock you or anything, but it's a very good way of determining their interest.
    No, but converse is.
    Formerly Known as "MulattoKitten".

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    If you call her, call her from a place where she can't trace your phone number (like the courtesy phones at CarMax). She might be like that crazy woman in that movie with Michael Douglas...I can't remember the name now....anyway I agree with James Bond. It appears the dancers are now giving out numbers to promote business. A cell number is meaningless. A home number may be worth something however.

    PS -Total cell phone numbers received = 1

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    I will certainly vote for it on the dictionaries where I am a consultant.
    All right. Stop showing off. 'Cause seriously, wielding that kind of influence will make my nipples hard.

    -Ev

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    It's in common use among people under the age of about 25. ........ I will certainly vote for it on the dictionaries where I am a consultant.
    Nooooooooooooooo!!! It's only used by those who don't f'in know how to speak proper English! If we keep catering to these morons, before too long we'll be teaching nothing more than friggin street slang in school. Don't doooooo it!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
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    Default Re: Should I call?

    I had a similar situation where this dancer gave me her number and I never called because I was busy, etc. When I saw her maybe a month or so later, she was all bothered that I didn't call, even to see if it was the correct number and that all the other guys call 10 times the next day.
    I told her I wasn't going to call her (I knew she was in a relationship though it wasn't going so well), but she did convince me to give her my number. She eventually called me a few times and wanted to get together OTC but I already had plans at the time, so never did hookup at least to this date.

    Seems to me in a sc situation, if a dancer is interested she will call you, and that is better to gauge her interest level. And that is if she propositions you. It still could be hustling, though. This particular girl has admitted to talking to guys on the phone to make them feel good.

    But why not find out if you like the girl. Just don't spend too much time and energy on it.

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Its just a call, if you are actually curious then call.

    My atf, back when I was just a reg, used to give me her number after every session, and say call me. I never really took her seriously, but something clicked one day so I called her. Worked out great.

    Mostly the numbers, in my experience have been for OTC action.

    Really just call and find out whats going on.

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    Veteran Member datchapin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post
    Nooooooooooooooo!!! It's only used by those who don't f'in know how to speak proper English! If we keep catering to these morons, before too long we'll be teaching nothing more than friggin street slang in school. Don't doooooo it!
    Ouch.
    The more I see, the less I know, the more I like to let it go! - RHCP

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    Dancers give out their number to cultivate a regular. It has nothing to do with how they "feel" about you.
    Sometimes they just want help moving furniture.

    I agree that fortune favors the bold.
    And, I thought it was "fortune favors the foolish".
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post
    Nooooooooooooooo!!! It's only used by those who don't f'in know how to speak proper English! If we keep catering to these morons, before too long we'll be teaching nothing more than friggin street slang in school. Don't doooooo it!
    Oh sweetheart, I so hesitate to say this, because it sounds so confrontational, but there is no such thing as "proper English." There is certainly "standard American English," but that's just an arbitrary mix of semantics, lexicon, spelling, grammar and pronunciation we all agree on so we can communicate widely across the culture. Even then, agreement is not universal. It comes down to what we decide to validate in the published dictionaries.

    There are, however, endless dialects, many more complex than SAE, that are far more inventive, flexible and creative than SAE. One example is African American Vernacular English (AAVE), one of the most dynamic dialects of English in existence and the subject of endless PhD dissertations in the linguistics community.

    First rule of language: it comes from the bottom up, not the top down. All language is invented by native speakers and then re-invented by each successive generation. In this sense, "street slang" is far more representative of "real English" than anything published in dictionaries which, by definition, are backward-looking.

    I know, I know, we've all been hopelessly contaminated by grammar Nazis with rulers standing over us starting in 3rd grade, running all the way up to high school (uh, throw in plaid skirts and that's suddenly insanely erotic). Anyway. They all try to impose order and rule sets on language as a way of making themselves feel superior. It's all bullshit. Everything we understand about language today is that it is created, reinvented, modified and shaped by humans. Spontaneously. Trust me on this. Dictionaries are compiled by committees who search the current lexicon and decide whether new usage -- created spontaneously in the culture at large -- is broad enough and unique enough to be standardized and defined. It comes from the people, from usage, from the culture. Not from the dictionary publishers. Hell, the dictionary publishers rely on the linguists, on us, and let me assure you, we spend all our time listening to how language is used on the street or in publications.

    There is certainly value in standardization. It makes it possible for terms in narrow use to be understood and absorbed by the larger culture, and for everybody to agree on pronunciation. It also helps to solidify and standardize spelling and the semantic range of a particular term.

    The reason Webster first published his dictionary was not for prescriptivist reasons -- not to tell people what was right or wrong -- but to try to put down in print definitions and pronunciations that varied so widely by geography that people from Boston could not communicate with people from Alabama. It was not intended to establish rules for rules' sake, but to create a bridge so that the living languages spoken across the young Republic would no longer separate people, but could unite them.

    There is a new book that was just published on language and culture to which I contributed a chapter (actually, it was based on a series of segments broadcast on NPR that all of us wrote independently.) If you are really interested, PM me and I can give you details on it.

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Unless an otc meeting has been discussed or seems a good posibility, I usually don't ask for their phone number. Almost all of them - I give out my business card instead. If they call me, and if I am interested, I will make my (otc) offer.

    Don't hesitate to call her and make your pitch whatever it is. Sometimes they give you their number and it is just ss. Don't be intimidated or surprised if a guy answers the phone - simply ask for her.
    I date strippers, especially if they love to model for me.



    Parker

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    HELL YES, call her. That's how I met one of my best friends. We've had out 'private' times but mostly she's the sexiest drinkin' buddy I've ever had. It's a great ego boost too. We walk into a room and everybody knows she's there. Then they see me and think I'm one of the luckiest guys in the world. Of course I think so too b/c she's a real special lady.

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Oh, and how in God's name do you find the time? If I called every dancer who ever gave me her cell number, I'd have to sell the businesses, all the holdings and the real estate and pretty much just hang out with you and Mast. We could spend the whole day returning phone calls.
    Eh...it's just a means of weeding out those girls that exhibit the dreaded SFF more than the rest. Plus, I only call the ones that really pique my interest; occasionally it's not even about business.

    It's not possible for language to "have no rules" (except in fiction). It's like imagining a slippery spider web. The rules in language spring spontaneously from humans; they are woven into very fabric of the language. It's the task of linguists to tease out the invisible rules that govern the language.
    I won't presume to tell you your business, TOO, but surely you'll agree that the preservation of standards in language makes for better communication at the level of the society and that the absence thereof serves only to divide a people or peoples? Dynamic and flexible is great and wonderful (I've often lamented how structured and inflexible German is by way of comparison), but for all the praise heaped on AAVE by academics, it seems wholly unworkable in the broader context of daily usage by disparate groups, irrespective of race or socioeconomic status.

    people from Boston could not communicate with people from Alabama.
    We still can't.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    What's a "Boston"?
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer View Post
    I won't presume to tell you your business, TOO, but surely you'll agree that the preservation of standards in language makes for better communication at the level of the society and that the absence thereof serves only to divide a people or peoples?
    He acknowledged that standards are useful. But language will change no matter how hard you try to "preserve standards." Language is inherently fluid; no language is static. And belittling people for the way they speak does far more to divide people than does any absence of standards.

    Dynamic and flexible is great and wonderful (I've often lamented how structured and inflexible German is by way of comparison), but for all the praise heaped on AAVE by academics, it seems wholly unworkable in the broader context of daily usage by disparate groups, irrespective of race or socioeconomic status.
    I'm not sure what you mean here. There is nothing inherently "wrong" with BEV/AAVE that would make it inherently unworkable if it were the standard language. It is not "substandard" in any meaningful linguistic way; it is not lacking in anything vital that makes a language useful and expressive for its speakers. That is just a simple linguistic fact.

    As the saying goes, "A language is a dialect with an army and a navy."
    "Doc still loved true things, but he knew it was not a general love and it could be a very dangerous mistress." - John Steinbeck, Cannery Row


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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Quote Originally Posted by evan_essence View Post
    All right. Stop showing off. 'Cause seriously, wielding that kind of influence will make my nipples hard.

    -Ev
    I know, right? How do you think he got in my pants?
    "Doc still loved true things, but he knew it was not a general love and it could be a very dangerous mistress." - John Steinbeck, Cannery Row


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    Default Re: Should I call?

    Not that I can add anything, even remotely, valuable to this contest of verbal alchemists, but I will admit,

    My humor LIVES and BREATHES in the subtle nuances of the ever changing body of text we call the vernacular.

    I am NO cunning linguist by any means. I defer to the greater knowledge. It's all clicks and whistles to me. But I would like to defend my previous advice.

    Oh, and to keep us on topic, you don't call her, she calls you. And that IS a rule.
    I believe "Rules" are as governing of actual action and result as language is of what actually comes out of the mouth and how it is interpreted.

    I say call. If you're thinking about it, do it. If you aren't...Don't!
    Last edited by Mastridonicus; 01-16-2007 at 07:33 AM.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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