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Thread: My boyfriend is starting to take me for granted, I've noticed.

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    Default My boyfriend is starting to take me for granted, I've noticed.

    (of 1.5 years, not living together)
    He doesn't really go out of his way to impress me anymore, pays less attention to me than he used to. I believe he is still very into me but he's being a dink because when i'm with him I spoil him and am very affectionate (not in public) and I can't help it cause I'm crazy about him. I'm not clingy and I do give him his space - I think. He even admitted that he's become "comfortable". Without resorting to silly games, I want to cool off a little bit to make sure I'm not smothering him, and remind him that I'm a pretty awesome chick and he's lucky to have me! Any suggestions of how I can do this? Touch him less? Stop asking for sex? Be unavailable sometimes? Fuck! I feel like he has me wrapped around his finger! Please advise me, thanks!

  2. #2
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: My boyfriend is starting to take me for granted, I've noticed.

    take a solo vacation. He'll be excited you're back, and realize you can live just fine ithout him.

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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: My boyfriend is starting to take me for granted, I've noticed.

    spend more time on SW with us!

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: My boyfriend is starting to take me for granted, I've noticed.

    The best thing you can do for a relationship is have a life of your own. So many girls, when they enter a relationship with a man they really care for...they drop everything. They turn down hanging out with the girls because of potential plans,spend all of their time with the boy, etc. Just work on having your own life. Make hanging out with your friends a priority, taking care of yourself a priority (if you want to take a class or join a club that maybe you didn't take because you soemtimes hung out during that time, well screw it! take the class!). If he sees that you have your own full life without him, that you're not sitting waiting for him, he'll appreciate you far more.

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    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: My boyfriend is starting to take me for granted, I've noticed.

    Realize that comfortable is a good thing. You can burn out pretty fast in a constant state of agitation.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: My boyfriend is starting to take me for granted, I've noticed.

    oh man...my b/f is like this too! well just lately. we been together for about the same time u and yer b/f has...but we started living together 4 months ago *rolls eyes* so u can guess how hes prolly taken me for granted.

    anyways- i hate playing games..but sometimes it must be done. ive noticed when im talkin on the phone, really into the convo, he'll try to get MY attention. sometimes i jus wont talk to him or touch him(in public or somethin) then he'll try to do it. i duno, its annoying.

    ya and if u can...maybe go take a vacation. vist yer parents or friends or somethin for a while. tell him u dont know exactly when yer commin bak. haha.

    maybe hes having his own personal problwems(guys rarely like to talk to them) and theyre jus in their own world solving them..so its hard for them to give u 100% of their attention, you know?

    But i also agree with Kandie_kitten.....with having yer own hobbies. lately, i havent been doing much..jus stayin home and feeling 'sad' when he went out to do sutff...(plus i dont have any friends so its hard for me jus to go hang out with other people). but soon im gunna take bellydancing classes and maybe like a yoga class so i can start doin' my OWN thang, you know?

    also..read "why men love bitches" haha theres alot of good ways to sort of get him to get YOUR attention, you know!

    goodluck..cuz im having the same problem!!!
    [True Passion Demands Respect]
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  7. #7
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: My boyfriend is starting to take me for granted, I've noticed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Windy View Post
    But i also agree with Kandie_kitten.....with having yer own hobbies. lately, i havent been doing much..jus stayin home and feeling 'sad' when he went out to do sutff...(plus i dont have any friends so its hard for me jus to go hang out with other people). but soon im gunna take bellydancing classes and maybe like a yoga class so i can start doin' my OWN thang, you know?
    a lot of girls seem to say they don't have many friends, but it's really not that hard, tyou just have to put in the effort. Invite people to do things. When you meet someone in a class of w/ev " hey, you really pick up the moves quickly, have you danced before" after you're talking for a bit, invite then to grab a bite, get coffee, w/ev. If they're busy, ask if the'd like to go before/after next class, and get their number. If you don't take the first step, and keep things flowing, you can't expect a lot of friendships. Keep inviting people, and eventually you'll have some really great friends. Many times you'll have to take the initiative, and continue making the plans, b/c so many other people feel wierd doing it. It takes an friendly, confident person to do this, so if that's not you, fake it till you make it baby! It's so good for a relationship for you to have friends. You'll be happier and less stressed and overwhelmed with your SO.
    Last edited by Lola Rose; 01-07-2007 at 11:57 PM. Reason: to add somethin'

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: My boyfriend is starting to take me for granted, I've noticed.

    ^^^Yes, all of the above! My husband is very much a "dude"--probably like your man. The way they appreciate us is much subtler than we would like, but the sentiment is there. I recommend taking all of the above advice. Back off a little bit for a few weeks. He'll probably start being a lot more affectionate and interested in you. If he isn't, talk to him and tell him what you're missing. If he still doesn't change, it might be something more serious and time to re-evaluate.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: My boyfriend is starting to take me for granted, I've noticed.

    Quote Originally Posted by KatGrrl View Post
    (of 1.5 years, not living together)
    He doesn't really go out of his way to impress me anymore, pays less attention to me than he used to. I believe he is still very into me but he's being a dink because when i'm with him I spoil him and am very affectionate (not in public) and I can't help it cause I'm crazy about him. I'm not clingy and I do give him his space - I think. He even admitted that he's become "comfortable". Without resorting to silly games, I want to cool off a little bit to make sure I'm not smothering him, and remind him that I'm a pretty awesome chick and he's lucky to have me! Any suggestions of how I can do this? Touch him less? Stop asking for sex? Be unavailable sometimes? Fuck! I feel like he has me wrapped around his finger! Please advise me, thanks!
    Familiarity breeds content.

    This is what happens when he feels you've lost your willingness to walk away. The chase ends, and nothing new is formed.

    the point is continue to spoil him, spoil him by maintaining the chase. This is a seductive art. There is always something new to do with someone there is always a reason to end the conversation on the phone. Always a reason to see him...etc etc etc, you just need to look for it.

    I know a lot, a LOT of this is perception, but you need to realize this. It's the BEGINNING of the END. You need to find a way to break that familiarity, you need to find a way to continue to see new things, to develop new feelings. Take your chemistry to the next level. For him, it's about having nothing to hide but still being a mystery, for you, it's about knowing you so well but not knowing you at all.

    It's like you have some great experience, but because of this person in your accompaniment, enjoying the experience again is like doing it for the first time. It's everything yet literally nothing.

    Good luck. You can do this
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: My boyfriend is starting to take me for granted, I've noticed.

    Can you work out of town occasionally? That way you aren't "abandoning him" per se. It's just work, but you aren't around to cook/ clean/ have sex with. If he misses you a little maybe he'll work harder to make you happy when you are home. You do the same and make him appreciate what you do for him when you return.


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  11. #11
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: My boyfriend is starting to take me for granted, I've noticed.

    im all for the going away on your own theory be it a vaca or for work, because he will realize he misses you and hopefully tell you so. if nothing else, he will show you how much he missed you when you return. but i must agree that comfort is definitely *not* a bad thing. must agree 100% with silverback.

    Love it!

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