He's manipulative, he sucks, he just fucking sucks and is putting me thru dumb bullshit.
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I'm not a masochist, it didn't start out this way, and now I feel like a constant panic-attack thing going on.... has anyone ever felt this way? so fucking frustrated, because you love this man even though he is so bad for you? constant lying, then the "i'm sorrys" and the make up to break up cycle...
I don't know if I'm addicted, if I am just lonely cause in all honesty, despite how close I am to him and how much I love him, hes a selfish prick that has done some evil shit to me and has my mind so warped I'm up right now at 5:29 in the morning cause I can't sleep cause he didn't call me which leads me back to stressing out about past events. <sigh> I moved 700 miles away from him, and he still has a hold on me.
I didn't speak to him for two months because of this exact shit thats going on right now (his non-existant common curtesey of knowin how to call me back)... I saw him a few weeks ago when I was working in FL and I'm back in the same place. Alone, waiting on him to call, I finally fall asleep and my anger dissapates cause he's always so apologetic and has some excuse to why he didn't call....
Now, you may think: Girl, you are paranoid, maybe its you with the problem. He just didn't call, go to sleep.
Well, yes, I do have a problem, I am fucking idiot because I stay with him, but he has given me good reason to flip the fuck out like this more than... a lot of times.
SO, LADIES, WHY!?!?! Why can't I get him out of my head? Why won't he leave me alone? Why does he claim to love me, want to marry me, and treat me like shit? How do I break this cycle? Help...![]()



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