Hey everyone, I haven't really posted in awhile here, just lurked..hah. The last month especially has been really hard. I found out that what the doctors originally thought was a pineal cyst is actually now a 2cm germinoma tumor. Needless to say, I have been feeling quite sick lately and on top of that, there is
1. The stress of telling my friends, family, and boyfriend which I already did
2. Finishing up work which I have been working 9 hours a day most days so I am exhausted and going to miss the girls I work with soo much
3. I am MOVING in 2 days to my parents house, then moving a week later to live with my boyfriend across the province.
Needless to say, I am stressed.... I wake up in pain every day , have to rely on pain pills until I start radiation and hopefully see faster results, and I puke all the time. My body is so tense I need daily massages to unwind me and I break out in tears constantly. I am pretty sure I am not going to die, I think there is a 59% chance of survival with treatment, so I am trying not to worry about that. I never have TIME to worry about it with all of this other stuff going on.
On top of that, I am having second thoughts about moving down to live with my boyfriend, and second thoughts about the relationship altogether....I am afraid of the intensity I suppose since I feel he is my twin flame (aka, my male half....we are too similar.) My ex BF has been here for me throughout this whole time though and I am also feeling guilty about leaving him behind....we are such good friends and have shared so much. He was the one driving me to the hospital when I was having seizures at work and staying with me.
So yes, drama rama, but I feel a bit better getting this out there, even if it is just in writing. I don't really have any questions or anything, I would just like any general insights/suggestions I guess. Thanks again.



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In life I think we are given things we can handle eventhough we see them to be incredibly hard to get over. You will get over this and be stronger than before.

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