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Thread: when do you want to be approached

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    Default when do you want to be approached

    Okay guys, this has probably been asked a thousand times but I didn't feel like going through all these pages. So when you go into a club by yourself, how soon do you want to be approached? I'm the girl who waits until the guy at least has his first drink. Do you prefer someone right away? What about if you're with a couple of other guys, not necessarily a bachelor group but like 3 other guys? It's been really slow lately so as soon as a guy comes into the club he's got a girl right away, is that cool?

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Give me time to sit down and at least order a drink first regardless if alone or in group.

    I can't stand the dancers that stand right next to the door and start following you as soon as I enter the club.

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    I want a girl right away! My time is valuable and I hate waiting around......

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    When I go in, I like to sit down, get settled, order a drink, and check out my surroundings. See a couple stage shows to see what kind of girls are there. Then I'm ready for dances.

    I'd say 15-20 minutes

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Totally depends.

    If I am in a sporting mood and sampling, give me 10 mins or so to loose the days headaches and then I am good to go.

    If someone ruins the mood, it can take awhile to get it back.

    I really dislike being hit with a wave of wanna dance just as I arrive, then 10 mins later they are all oblivious.

    I prefer the girls I know to drop by say Hi when I arrive, gimmie a squeeze then come back later for dances.

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Actually I usually prefer not to be approached at all, although it depends to some extent on the nature of the club. Usually I like to watch the stage until I see a girl who interests me and then I ask her to join me when she gets off of the stage. But if you are going to approach me, approach from in front so I can see you coming, and approach me in a polite and unpushy way with a big friendly smile. If you don't do those things my answer will almost always be "no."
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    The best thing for you to do is watch the guy's body language. If he is more focused on ordering a drink, or watching the stage, or talking to his friends, you will want to take a few deep breaths and sip your drink before just leaping into his lap.

    My usual preference is to at least sit down first and not be full-body tackled as soon as I walk in the door and my eyes haven't even adjusted to the light yet. This almost never happens, particularly at the home club, where I rarely get by the downstairs mainstage without one of the dancers bending over from stage to kiss me (can I tell you just how much I love this club?) This creates a certain level of incredulity in the room, but mostly among the guys who still don't understand that it's all about the money. The other special regulars have had the same experience a half hour before.

    In some clubs, you are just not going to get to a seat before you are spotted and grabbed -- Hustler Baltimore, the Rhino in Vegas, Barely Legal in New Orleans. I think it is really smarter for girls not to do this. If you are not his type, you are wasting your time with him. Getting first to a guy who is not going to spend on you is no advantage. I personally look for the smartest girls in the club (or the most freakish -- usually the same girls), and that takes a while to find in a new club.

    The dynamics are different when I bring another dancer with me into the club as a customer. This slows things down, as the dancers are usually less likely to leap full-body on couples. But once things get started (and they find out the girl is a dancer), well, it's really a lot of fun. When Nic and I can get to a club together, it's an unforgettable experience.

    I realize the advantage of cornering a customer first, since dancer etiquette bars the other girls from outright stealing him. But he is no prize if he's not spending on you, and just eyeing the other girls in the club. Wait long enough for him to be comfortable on his own, and you'll find your odds of success will improve.

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    I dont mind being approached at any point, whether I just got there, just about to leave, or have been sitting there for a long while.

    I havent the slightest problem politely telling a dancer "No thanks, Im okay for now" if I am not ready/interested in doing anything but watching and tipping at the stage, so when someone approaches me is irrelevent.

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    Veteran Member pipermarau's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    i have a question similar to the OP:

    what is a girl to do when every dancer has approached each customer (slow night) and they have all given up and gone to the back to occupy themselves with something else and management runs every one back on on the floor to a room that doesn't want any company? is it better to retry the guys or sit at the bar (if possible)? that happens to my club at the beginning of the night. i will approach every one and they will all tell me to take a hike, then i have nothing to do except gossip in the dressing room about girly nonsense. does that play into the 15 minute/one drink rule? are the guys getting approached too much and changing their mind about wanting a dance?

    thanks for any answers.

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Piper, just because a guy turned you down once doesn't mean he will again. I once turned down a girl on her first approach, then later on asked her to join me and ultimately I became her regular. The problem was she approached me too soon - I wasn't ready for company yet because I hadn't had a chance to see who else was available - plus she approached me from behind and I never saw her coming and had no idea what she looked like (it was very dark and my eyes hadn't adjusted yet.) But she was very polite and not at all pushy, which was a major reason why I ended up spending a lot of time (and money) with her.
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Your mileage may vary here, but this is what I tend to like:


    1) I sit at the stage, and generally don't like to be approached by girls that I haven't seen dance yet.

    2) I generally do turn down any first request, though that does not mean I will turn her down later.
    - a) If I say "no thank you" then I'm probably not interested *ever*
    - b) If I say "maybe later" then I really mean that I might want a dance later.

    3) If the first thing out of your mouth is "want a dance" then the first thing out of MY mouth is "no".

    4) I'm more likely to *offer* to get a dance (which with me means 3-6 dances in a row) to a girl that is friendly, and at least *acts* like she's interested. Guys come to these places for *fantasy* - girls that just want a quick buck and aren't interested in the guy at all stand out like a sore thumb. Move along, I'm not interested.

    5) With 4 above, I usually pick the girl I want to get a dance with, and approach *her*. Or I make eye contact that says "I want you", meaning, get over here and let's do some dances.


    A

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    When do I want to be approached? You'll probably hate this answer but it truly just depends on the particular mood I'm in and who you are.

    If you're a dancer I've met before and had a particularly good time with then a good time to approach me might be as soon as I walk in the door. But other times if I've got something on my mind or had trouble with traffic or something then it would probably be best to wait till I at least got a drink and sat down.

    If you're someone I've never met or got dances from before then you're better off waiting till I've had time to chill and enjoy the stage show and stage tipping before approaching. Then again, I've been known to fall for the dancer who warmly greets me as soon as I get in the door.

    Hmm...so...it really just kinda depends...maybe...sometimes...

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    "Do you like Kipling?"

    "Actually I dont believe I've ever kippled."

    Sorry, I couldn't resist one of the oldest (and probably worst) jokes known to mankind.
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    If you want a quick sale then you'd best approach me after I've had at least a drink. But if you don't mind hanging out then don't wait.

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    It's a combination of the some of the above for me. I appreciate it when a dancer welcomes me and tells me she'll come by to see me in a bit after I've had an opportunity to settle in (even if it is a dancer I see regularly at the home club). I support the first drink rule. While I can't say it's never happened, I am less likely to accept a dance if I'm "pounced on" shortly after walking through the doors.

    When with other guys, I actually prefer even a little more time. Not only do I need time to adjust to my surroundings, I need time to adjust to my friends because a guy's behavior as an individual can differ from his behavior when in a group (especially in a strip club).

    As far as second attempts after a guy has declined the first, I don't have a problem with it. To me, it has more to do with how you approached the first time. If it was just an impersonal "wanna dance" without even an introduction the first time, it makes it very easy to say no the the second time. If you're going to approach me a second time, you don't have to remember my name but at least remember you spoke to me earlier. If you weren't successful on the first attempt, the timing may not have been right for the guy or maybe he was waiting to see a particular dancer (who turned out not to be working that night).

    Following this idea, I'm a little surprised why some girls don't approach a guy a second time after he got dances from you earlier. While I agree, the odds may not be as good the second time, if the club is slow and he enjoyed the dances earlier, there's still a possibility he would be interested in a second round. Some nights, I have been in a 'sampling' mood and gotten dances from a girl a second time later in the night.

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Honestly I don't mind being approached but there are some simple rules of common courtesy that score points with me:

    I think it's rude to the dancers on stage if you approach me and ask for a dance while I am watching and tipping them. Even if you are the hottest woman in the club I am going to say no.

    Don't try to steal me from another lady. Don't come over the second the gal I am sitting with goes on stage to do her rotation. If she's been sitting with me and I've bought her a drink the chances are I'm enjoying her company. I may enjoy yours later but not if you try to barge in on another lady.

    Do not under any circumstances assume that it's OK to sit down at my table or next to me at the bar without asking if I want some company first.

    I'm going to be honest and polite with my answers when you approach me. No means no, maybe later means just that. Please accept my response politely and move on. Don't ask me why I don't want to buy a dance from you, don't whine about what a lousy night you are having and don't call me names (don't laugh, it happens).
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    I like to have time to settle in, have a drink, and scout out what kinda gals are in the club.

    Sometimes I will wave a gal over to my table. Waving a bunch of $100 on my money clip will get them over pornto. They can spot ol Ben from clear across the room and he is a good pal to have along in a SC.
    I date strippers, especially if they love to model for me.



    Parker

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    If I haven't been to the club before: give me time to look around and get my bearings, find a seat and get a drink.

    After that, I'd rather be approached than ignored.

    I'm not buying any dances until I've seen a few stage dances and had a chance to look around - but I don't have a preferred "type". I like surprises and I'll base my LD decision on the way you move on stage, take my tips etc etc.

    If I've been there before and have gotten dances from you, it would be very welcoming if you would say hi when I walk in.
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    Featured Member gameover's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    it's up to you, but if i don't have a drink yet, you aint getting a dance

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    Okay guys, this has probably been asked a thousand times but I didn't feel like going through all these pages. So when you go into a club by yourself, how soon do you want to be approached? I'm the girl who waits until the guy at least has his first drink. Do you prefer someone right away? What about if you're with a couple of other guys, not necessarily a bachelor group but like 3 other guys? It's been really slow lately so as soon as a guy comes into the club he's got a girl right away, is that cool?
    God bless you for asking.

    Seriously, for me? It's right after the obvious "Hello" smile

    That eye contact, with a smile right afterwards? That's this custy's sweet spot.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Quote Originally Posted by FONDL View Post
    Sorry, I couldn't resist one of the oldest (and probably worst) jokes known to mankind.
    Old linguist joke.

    A woman jumps into the back a cab in Boston and says, "take me someplace where I can get scrod."

    The cabbie looks back at her and says, "Wow, that's the first time I've ever heard it in the pluperfect subjunctive."

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    In general I only want to be approached after I've made some indication that I would like your company. Most obvious is after I've tipped you on stage and asked you if you'd be free to come over to my table. Less subtle would be after we've made eye contact and I've smiled at you or in some way showed that I'm interested.

    Even if I haven't given any indication of interest, as long as I'm not already sitting with someone else, it's alright to come up and just say "hello" at any time. Wheter I've just shown up or been sitting there for several hours. Make an informal greeting and then be on your way. If you don't make a sales pitch out of it, you're much more likely to peak my interest and I'll find some way later on to signal you back over.

    Otherwise here are some "dont's" from my standpoint ...

    1) Don't approach me from behind and then embrace me or grab me in some way.

    2) Don't approach when it's clear that I'm avoiding eye contact with you and am not giving any body language indication of interest

    3) Don't come right up and jump in my lap or try to drag me off for a dance, and especially DON'T reach out and grab my crotch.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    I’m an older guy and I usually go to strip clubs alone. When I go I have money to spend. If you don’t know me, I’d prefer that you give me time to get a drink before you approach me. I’m probably not going to get a lap dance until I’ve settled in, relaxed, and seen a few stage dances. If there’s alcohol I like to feel the first effects of the drink. D’wanna’s aren’t going to be very successful at first unless you are incredibly attractive to me. Your best bet is to walk where I can see you, establish eye contact, approach with your best friendly smile, ask is I’d like some company or something so you can sit down with me, and then talk with me for a while. At that point I’ll usually get 1 or 2 dances no matter what. More if you make a good impression.

    If you know me, come up to me right away with a big smile and greet me like I’m an old good friend. That scores lots of points. Whether you sit with me then or say you’ll see me later, I’ll be thinking of you all night.

    It’s OK to stop by later even if I’ve turned you down before. At the very least, walk by and say hi and give me a chance to start things up with you.

    When I go with other guys, it’s more of a male bonding experience. We may get a few dances, but generally we’re just rail tippers. We love your company, but I usually think we are a waste of your time.

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    [QUOTE=Svelt;938307]Totally depends.

    If I am in a sporting mood and sampling, give me 10 mins or so to loose the days headaches and then I am good to go.

    /QUOTE]

    Ditto for me. I also hate it when I get jumped as soon as I walk in. Give me 10 minutes or so to relax and scope out the place.

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    For me it varies...Depends on my mood.

    Sometimes I am feeling a little "closed in" by the outside world and so need a good 10-20 minutes to chill and let the guard down.

    Other nights I'll be jovial with a look of mischief in the eye.

    And then other nights I just want to take the initiative.

    The Best bet? Give the customer the old eye for a minute or two and passively observe him. Or wait until he has at least taken up a beverage if you are the impatient sort. Being able to read a person is a great skill.

    If the worry is that someone else will snatch him first, dont worry about it. Unless it is a known regular, that aggressiveness can backfire. As it always does with me.

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