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Thread: when do you want to be approached

  1. #26
    Senior Member velour1141's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    ok speaking as a dancers husband i have watched it all happen but as a customer i would rather have a drink and watch the rotation go round 1 time and if i see a dancer i like i will tip here and ask her to sit with me when she can. but i hate being approched but thats just me.
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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    There are a number of times that I hate to be approached, but I can't expect dancers to be mind readers, so I'll list the three that should give an obvious visual clue.

    1. There's no drink at my table (i.e., I just got there).

    2. I'm seated at the stage (i.e., my attention is focused on the gal who is up there). In a lot of clubs, it is considered a no-no to hit up guys at the rail anyways out of consideration for that dancer.

    3. I have a gal seated with me at my table. They do tip walks at my home club and while I don't mind complying with that if I'm sitting by myself and watching the stages, but its kind of a pain to be nagged for tips when my attention clearly was with the gal seated with me (if anything I should be tipping her). Sometimes, I wish they'd come up with a separate seating area away from the stages for this.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  3. #28
    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    When I first get in the club, I like to watch the stage, get a drink, get a shot from the shot girl, get a feel for the place. I don't mind if you approach me during this time, but I hope you'll come back again a little later.

    If you see a guy watching you intently, chances are he is sending you a mental message asking you to come over. This will most likely happen to you while you are sitting with some other guy, since we are not going to approach you while you are there, even if we want a dance from you very much. So, if you see a guy looking at you, go over and ask him if he wants a dance.

  4. #29
    Veteran Member Smokeless's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Honestly I don't mind being approached but there are some simple rules of common courtesy that score points with me:

    I think it's rude to the dancers on stage if you approach me and ask for a dance while I am watching and tipping them. Even if you are the hottest woman in the club I am going to say no.

    Don't try to steal me from another lady. Don't come over the second the gal I am sitting with goes on stage to do her rotation. If she's been sitting with me and I've bought her a drink the chances are I'm enjoying her company. I may enjoy yours later but not if you try to barge in on another lady.

    Do not under any circumstances assume that it's OK to sit down at my table or next to me at the bar without asking if I want some company first.

    I'm going to be honest and polite with my answers when you approach me. No means no, maybe later means just that. Please accept my response politely and move on. Don't ask me why I don't want to buy a dance from you, don't whine about what a lousy night you are having and don't call me names (don't laugh, it happens).
    I like Yoda's rules. I'd only add:

    - If we have a previous relationship, by all means greet me immediately, if I've not already become engaged. If so, at least nod or smile. I'll do likewise, not interrupting you if you are otherwise engaged.

    - While it is rude to interrupt another dancer on the stage, feel free to converse with me when you are on the stage and I'm not otherwise occupied. If you are on the stage and I give you some attention (not to mention an acceptable tip), please give me some attention in return. Please feel free to visit me immediately after your dance, if I'm throwing some attention your way.

    Much of this is common courtesy, being observant and sensitive to the needs of the customer. I'll return the courtesies.

  5. #30
    Veteran Member casaubon1's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Quote Originally Posted by pipermarau View Post
    i have a question similar to the OP:

    what is a girl to do when every dancer has approached each customer (slow night) and they have all given up and gone to the back to occupy themselves with something else and management runs every one back on on the floor to a room that doesn't want any company? is it better to retry the guys or sit at the bar (if possible)?
    Piper, it is kind of strange, but I sometimes find myself more interested when a dancer to whom I have said no comes around a second time, especially in a slow club. I am not sure why. Maybe it's because of the confidence a dancer shows by coming back. Or maybe its because when a customer comes into a slow club he gets hit so quickly by everybody that he starts saying no just to get back in control of the situation. Then when a dancer comes back later, she is no longer part of a constant stream, and it is a little easier to engage with her.

    I would certainly suggest that you should try at least your best prospects a second time.

    One related point -- for some reason some of the most enjoyable dances come from dancers in whom I did not think I was interested when they first sat down. I think maybe the presence and sales skills that they use to turn that situation into a yes also make them exciting dancers.

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    I can be approached at any time, so long as the dancer is willing to accept the possibility that I'm not interested. That said, under normal operating conditions I would defer to Yoda's ground rules, generally speaking.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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  7. #32
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    I personally look for the smartest girls in the club (or the most freakish -- usually the same girls), and that takes a while to find in a new club.
    Freakish, you say? Please define, if you will.

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    At least give me time to get a drink, find a seat I like, get relaxed. I don't need to watch all the dancers on stage first, I just need a few minutes to get settled in.

    Something I've noticed a couple of times...if I turn down a dance right away, when I first arrive, sometimes a long time will pass before another dancer approaches me. Maybe I am paranoid, but I was wondering if the girls think I am not there to spend money if I turn down the first couple of girls. When this has happened it is because I was not settled in yet and was not ready to get a dance.

    I'm not the type of guy that like to approach the dancer...too shy I guess. It can be frustrating if I get attention before I am ready and then nobody cames back.

    I hope I'm not being rude. I really try to be polite.

  9. #34
    Senior Member GuyPOV's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Get a drink first, WTF. I could have got a drink from a bar, restaurant, store. You don't have to wait for a drink. If you are smokin hot, great attitude and not coming with a crappy opening line come by anytime. Just be smart about it. If you see I just got there come by but not with "wanna dance" bs. Time is money.

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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    I usually go to clubs while travelling on business so I am alone. I do like to be approached right away although I don't buy private dances immediately. I like to settle in a bit and check out the scene (especially when it is a club I have never seen). A hello and a little conversation is nice. Sitting alone for a while is okay, but I prefer some nice company.

    I like good conversation as that is a big part of why I am there. Conversation that centers on anything, but work. I am looking for relaxation and downtime. Approach nicely and not make me feel pressured or rushed. I tip based on time and how much fun I am having. Has little to do with the number of dances I purchase.

    In fact, my favorite at my home club has never asked me for a dance. She will come sit with me at the stage and assist me in "spreading cheer" for as long as it takes. I really enjoy her sense of humor and I appreciate that she has never pressured me. I have fun with her and I know she has fun with me (I am not saying she wants me. I am not delusional). She makes as much off me as all the others in that club combined.


    When I go to a new club ( far from home) it can be difficult as dancers do not know me. I am sure you have all been screwed by time wasters and when you don't know a guy it can be hard to tell if your time investment will pay off. I do take that into consideration.

    Best advice I can give is if you see a decent looking 40ish guy come in alone. He is not from the area and seems to have something (meaning not a hobo). Chances are at least 50-50 that he is interested in company as much as dances. A little extra time investment (especially in a slow night) could really pay off.

  11. #36
    Newbie Yummyzimcat's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    So is it ok if i just came and introduced myself without asking you to come for a dance when you first arrive?

  12. #37
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Quote Originally Posted by GuyPOV View Post
    Get a drink first, WTF. I could have got a drink from a bar, restaurant, store. You don't have to wait for a drink. If you are smokin hot, great attitude and not coming with a crappy opening line come by anytime. Just be smart about it. If you see I just got there come by but not with "wanna dance" bs. Time is money.
    I wish all men thought like this I'd say 98% of men I run into prefer to order a drink first..regardless of how hot/not you are.







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  13. #38
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Basically until I get my drink, and get comfy, it doesn't matter how hot you are, I'm going to say thanks, but maybe later. Besides, I'll come get you when I see you, and I want you. No reason to waste time with introducing yourself or wanna dance offers.

  14. #39
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Quote Originally Posted by Yummyzimcat View Post
    So is it ok if i just came and introduced myself without asking you to come for a dance when you first arrive?
    Definitely. A nice smile, hello, how are you doing...it can pay dividends and does not take much of your time.

    I understand that when I am in a club where no one knows me that most dancers aren't going to sit with me endlessly. They have no idea if I am going to waste their time, or not.

    Part of why I have posted things such as this is that I am trying to get pointers as a customer. I like a certain experience. What signals do I give off, so that she will recognize that I am not a waste of time? I observe a lot of posts on here trying to glean bits of info..

  15. #40
    Member Vinnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    This is probably one of those questions where it's different for every person you ask. When I go to the club, I go to see a certain dancer I like, so personally I don't like being approached since I feel bad for turning dancers away.
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  16. #41
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Quote Originally Posted by crizgolfer View Post
    What signals do I give off, so that she will recognize that I am not a waste of time?
    Three easy steps:

    1) Open wallet
    2) Extract money
    3) Give money

    She will know you are not a waste of time.

  17. #42
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    Three easy steps:

    1) Open wallet
    2) Extract money
    3) Give money

    She will know you are not a waste of time.
    Hold on....I'll get a pen...

  18. #43
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Of course it annoys me when I just walk in the door and I'm approached very quickly. I like to get a beer and see a few dancers on stage before I like being approached. Before you drop by, make sure I have my beer sittin' there. When you see me with a beer, then proceed.

    If you're a dancer, it's impossible to put a stopwatch on every guy who walks through the door and know when he's exactly ready for you to approach him. So, the best way to approach him is to say, "May I have a seat?" NOT, "Do you want a dance?"

    Don't act like you're in a hurry or are just in it for a quick buck. If you say to me, "Do you want a dance?" I'll say, "No thanks, I just got here, maybe later." I feel rushed with the "Do you want a dance?" approach, but I don't feel rushed with the "May I have a seat?" approach.

    Another sales technique is to put your arm around the guy's shoulder (if you can stomach him) and ask him if you may have a seat. The dancer also has to size up the guy to see if he's interested in a dance or if he's just some asshole who's gonna waste her time.

    If a dancer takes a seat with me after I get my first brew, that'll give me an excuse to tell her that I'd like a "dance," but that I just got here and I'd like to drink this beer first. That'll give me 20 minutes of chat time with her.

    So, a customer will tell you he likes being approached after such and such conditions are met, but fuck that, 50% of the time, it's first cum, first served. Don't let another dancer beat you to the punch.

    Bottom line: The more aggressive girl (but friendly) will out-earn the dancer who's waiting for the customer to settle in.

  19. #44
    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    To hell with the drink.
    If the club is busy and you're hot as hell, I'm gonna get the dances NOW.
    If I don't do it then, there's a good chance I probably won't see you again for the rest of the night.

    If the girl is really hot, I always figure that I probably won't get a second chance before someone else grabs her up for the rest of the night.

  20. #45
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    Default Re: when do you want to be approached

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    I personally look for the smartest girls in the club (or the most freakish -- usually the same girls), and that takes a while to find in a new club.
    TOO, you have it so down.

    KR, your avatar is exactly what I like. I'd make eye contact right away and smile, because I don't want anyone else... ever... in this club.

    Supercute and slender rules.

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