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Thread: Sobriety and the dancer

  1. #1
    Tart
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    Sobriety and the dancer

    Just a lil' rant/rave and question.

    For the new year I swore off even a swig of drink while at work, now before at another club this wasn't an issue. But where I am now I swear to you its driving me insane.

    From the time i start till about oh 1 am i'm fine. The caffiene is still working ( however I cut myself off of that at arond 11 or midnight ) but after that 1 am mark Im slowly ready to kill people. Everyone is on next level, and im tired of babysitting drunk men and women.

    The champagne rooms are individual, meaning its me and that other person. for an hour im fine but if im not dancing , by the second hour ( with them drinking ) I'm just out of it. Im tired, cranky and bitchy.

    How the hell do i catch my second wind or be able to face the crowd when im starting to crash? BTW we are open till 4 am so I have a good 3 hours after 1 that I need to be making money.

    The entire hustle is different if I can't have a sip of champagne ( literally ) in a toast or one drink to settle me. But these guys can be obnoxious and as the night wears on the good guys leave only to be replaced by the young asshole types.

    Any suggestions are appreciated.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    i guess i drink only water at work and don't make a big deal of it, if anything i downplay it to me. when offered a drink, i'll get a bottle of water, it rejuvenates me. i maybe drink 2-4 bottles of water a night. no red bull, just water. but, i also put up a severe barrier at work when dealing with customers, meaning that young asshole types don't really ever get to me, if i can avoid it. of course, i have my moments, but not often.

    the way i avoid it is im totally not ME 100%. im a flirty version diff persona of me. always smiling, always flirting, always looking to connect with whomever in a new way. when drinking is made to be a big deal, i just remind myself and sometimes custies that this job is like any other job (to me) and if i was working with patients (at work i say if i was a 9-5er) , i wouldn't be drinking on the job. so...that replaying in my head plus reminding myself that i'm strong enough to hold forth that barrier and remember that when someone is rejecting me, or not buying dances from me or being plain old douche-baggy to me, they aren't doing so to ME, they are doing so to club persona me.

    this keeps my energy level high. i break for five minutes to find a work friend to laugh and make fun of something to get myself out of the floor atmosphere. but that's about what does it for me. hope that helps you somewhat.

    Love it!

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    When I go to work I am Bridgette the Stripper. She is a different girl - definitely has me in there, but she is a very exaggerated version of me, and lacks most of my less aggressive traits. I make very clear distinctions between work and personal life; this helps keep me sane, is less draining on me mentally. I laugh at the drunks - it's entertainment!

    I used to drink at work too, but since I've gotten used to working sober, I actually do BETTER. I think you will just need to get used to it, to find your sober diva. She's in there. You've been dancing long enough so you've certainly got it, just gotta find it.

    I mostly order water if a guy offers me a drink. Once in a while I'll get a diet coke with lime. The lime gives it a nice twist. If I actually do get a drink it's a special treat, but I worked stone sober for quite a while, before I could allow myself a little booze and remain fully in control.

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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    I usually do have a drink or 2 before I start my rounds of hustling. It can help me loosen up if I am extra stressed. I can make more money if I don't drink though. Not all the time but most of the time. I have to be in the mood for it.



    I Love Life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. #5
    Tart
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    thanks. i dont get buzzed or drunk., before. but because the enviroment was different where im at now, when i started there i wouldn't turn down a glass of champagne if i was in the champagne room. because of the way it was set up etc ..it would help me kill time. and you are virtually alone with the customer at the club im at now.

    the other club the vip room was one big open room, so at least there there were distractions and not only that but it was a lot cheaper, so it was nothing to be able to get another girl up there with me. at 600 an hour where im at now, getting another girl up there typically isnt even an option.

    i dont have a 'dance' hustle. mine is a talk hustle. by the end of that hour or 2 hours im just fucking worn out. im out of shit to say ...sometimes so are they. i'll do a few dances but when its a talk hustle... eh its just all strange.

    im defintatley not 'me' when im there. im more outgoing..flirty and laidback. but seriously the enviroment where i work makes me a lil on edge., because EVERYONE is fucking wasted.

    half way through the night i feel like im babysitting people. when i start to feel that way i start to get edgy and over it.

    hell if i only had to work 5 hours i would be more than fine. but by the 6 hour mark of drunk and disorderly guys and girls...im ready to call it a fucking day and that's when i get lazy.

    the last 2 hours in the club are almost the most vaulable. thats when we are fixing to close and people are all going to get dances and go. i need to start capatlizing on it and i cant seem to get in the goddamn mood!

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    Are you eating anything? Sounds like maybe when the caffeine is losing its edge you probably are getting low blood sugar or something. Is it possible to eat in VIP? It might be a nice time killer. Otherwise, you might want to pack a little something (apple and string cheese works really well) and give yoruself ten minutes to eat them and drink a bottle of water when you have about two, three hours left. It'll help you think more clearly and focus on the hustle.

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    Also it's good to eat that food because if you do choose to drink you won't be doing it on an empty stomach.

  8. #8
    Tart
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    ^ eh my diet sucks i wont lie. i can eat in the lil kitchen in the dressing room. i just try to stay out of the dressing room and on the floor. sometimes people in the champagne room order sushi or pizza. we dont have a customer kitchen thing.

    me drinking isnt an option. i swore it off this year. i had one of those issues that once every few weeks when i went out i'd not maintain my drinking very well and ..well. lets just say when i'd go out i went all out. lol. my bf had enough of my once a month drunken stupors so that part of my life is gone.

    my issue has always been that im somewhat socially retarded. so im working on that and i dont want anything to render my actual progress in it.

    im wondering if there is something i could eat that would bring my spirits up and would be quick so i could get back on the floor.

    i just get so goddamn bored talking to the same person after awhile its insane.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    I never make money when I drink. I make my best money when I'm sober. If I'm even a little buzzed, I'm too happy and complacent to care if the electric is overdue. The clarity of sobriety helps with my hustle. I get drunk on my nights off for fun.

    Try just being sober for a few nights and see if you miss drinking at all.

  10. #10
    Tart
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    ive been sober something like 13 days in total. i didnt work before, drunk. i want to sorta make that clear. and before i switched clubs , where im at now. i hadnt drank at work at all in over 7years. ( i drank for the first 2 weeks i turned 21 that was the last time ) I did drink, not often but at where im employed now if i went to the champagne room and there were bottles being bought. And the last day i drank entirely. I figured i was at work that night, and i had made the decision not to drink anymore like a week prior to that. i just figured fuck it im at work, right before the holidays with friends..might as well drink it up here since its free lol. but i by no means ever required it before to work.

    i quit drinking entirely not because i had a problem , because truthfully I hate drinking. But because when i do go out with friends ( which seriously might be once a month if that ) i would get fucking wasted and some sorta shit would happen. Like me losing my car, or when i got mugged. Drama follows me anyways, but when i was drunk and left to my own vices..holy shit lol.

    it wasn't helping shit in my relationship. i cant come around my bf if ive drank because he's straight edge. and personally doesnt agree with any substance.So out of respect i didnt come around. and he's more important than a drink or a night out imo. so i chose to end my relationship with things of that sorts and concentrate on something healthy and productive which is my relationship with him.

    And i agree with everyone that sober does make more money. Mostly because you tend to pay attention.

    my problem is now when im up in the champagne room, for hours i tend to get bored, they tend to get wasted..and im getting worn out. its hard to handle the same person or people after awhile when you arent on their level anymore.

    and after that or by 1 am i get fed up with the drunk assholes in general. Im finding it hard when im not on the same page as them, when im up stairs or having to be upstairs with an already drunk person.

    i guess i just dont know how to view it or how to hustle around it.

  11. #11
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    Dealing with drunks while sober totally sucks. But dealing with drunks while buzzed can be DANGEROUS.

    Just stay POSITIVE, as cheesy as it sounds if you look on the bright side, it helps. You sound like you're sad or in a rut Figure out something to do for yourself that would make you happy to motivate yourself to hustle those drunks.

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    Veteran Member layka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Tart View Post
    ^ eh my diet sucks i wont lie. i can eat in the lil kitchen in the dressing room. i just try to stay out of the dressing room and on the floor. sometimes people in the champagne room order sushi or pizza. we dont have a customer kitchen thing.

    me drinking isnt an option. i swore it off this year. i had one of those issues that once every few weeks when i went out i'd not maintain my drinking very well and ..well. lets just say when i'd go out i went all out. lol. my bf had enough of my once a month drunken stupors so that part of my life is gone.

    my issue has always been that im somewhat socially retarded. so im working on that and i dont want anything to render my actual progress in it.

    im wondering if there is something i could eat that would bring my spirits up and would be quick so i could get back on the floor.

    i just get so goddamn bored talking to the same person after awhile its insane.




    Have you tried honey? All you really need is a teaspoon, and it will immedietly give you an energy boost. And if you want to take advantage of the end of night rush take five mins to yourself, stretch, take a shot of honey, and speak a positive affirmation to yourself before going back out there. Give yourself an EXACT end of the night goal ( not the nightly goal that you set for yourself every night, just a goal for that last two hours). Keep repeating your affirmation * I tell myself that I'm in a much better position than most, money over bitches, stop being a biatch layka and go get that money* Motivate yourself by not allowing yourself to constantly moan and groan. This can and will kill anyones spirit. You must remember... at times we are our own worst enemies. I try to ask myself, if this was my sister that was having the same difficulties, what would I suggest to her. You see, you have an idea of the old mantra * you are your own best friend* the shit sounds corny, but it's true. And you understand that, if you didn't you wouldn't have come to grips with how drinking is a waste of your time at work. With that being said, apply that same attitude towards the end of the night. Be gentle, yet firm with your stripper persona. I was raised by men, therefore I have adapted a mans mentality towards issues that women tend to over analyze. Example, have you ever heard men repeating mantras like "money over bitches" well this gives you an idea of how men have to hype themselves up to get that money. I'm not glamorizing thug life, nor the street hustle, but I know that once I adapted this cruel " get money or die trying" mantra while dancing, it leaves little wiggle room to psych yourself out. So while I can highly suggest a teaspoon of honey for that quick rush, stretch real quick to destress and relax muscles that have been making you money, also talk to yourself, you are your best hypeman. I'm not saying look in the mirror and talk lovey dovey. I'm talking about some real deal, girl-get- yo- ish- together- and- get- those- last- dollars speech. Imagine this, while you're talking to these boring people at the end of the night, ask yourself what is it that you're so pressed to get home to in the next two hours. If it's too rest remind yourself that you will have plenty of time to sleep when you die. When you yawn or feel yourself zoning out and losing focus, I find that the best way to jolt yourself to the present is by giving ya'self a harsh dose of reality. I also play into my mind really hard when I'm at work. Towards the end of the night I am my stripper persona times two!! This is around the time most girls are slipping, best time to flex your pimping. I block every thought at the end of the night except "hustle", I don't have a cat, mother, boyfriend, nor family at the end of the night. I tell myself to "tuck" them away somewhere safe in my thoughts family, loved ones, and friends) because the last two hours are going to be a bumpy ride. So at the end of the night, you take five mins, catch your second wind. The more you have a tunnel vision on your hustle, the quicker the time will fly. If you fully commit yourself to your shot-o-honey ( I also eat energy bars with at the end of the night) your silent "money over bitches attitude" (remember this is a very forceful thought that you have to remind yourself, this isn't a stripper persona, this is the stripper persona's survival mantra) and tucking your distracting thoughts away ( they have no place at work, everytime you have a distracting thought deduct $2.00 per thought, place it in a clear jar to remind yourself that you are coming out of character at work, if the jar is full the first week that's good and not unusual, most people don;t realize their distracting inner dialogue until it is bought to their attention. Every week that you count the money in your mind jar, remind yourself that you are fading in and out too often, here's the good part..... Donate the money. Yep, I'm hiting ya where it hurts, your distraction will rightfully be your lose, and someones gain. You didn't think I was going to say keep it ) Tart, you are a very headstrong person, so what better way to conquer your inner demons than to hit them where they hurt, in your head. Sure, like I said before, the honey and energy bar will give you a much needed energy boost. But all the honey and sweets in the world won't solve the end of the night ruts. TRUST ME, I'm very opionated and strong as well ( fuck it... stubborn) and once I adapted ways to handle the end of the night, and hustle without drinking stratergies I respected myself more. I figure it takes a special person to juggle drunks while not being drunk, be sexy, make money, handle my thoughts, stay in the moment, and stay in character. You will actually have alot more respect for your stripper persona once you find her strength without drinks. Now, I actually look up to the persin within me who can handle so much shit without a single drop of drink. Hell, the way I figure it alot more people would benefit from knowing that inner show stopper that can do as much as she does on any given shift. Respect, honour, and cherish that girl within you. She is special, and she deserves to be rewarded as though she is. That means stay on your hustle so you won't let her down at the end of the night. This is not about the money, this is about seeking approval and having satisfaction within yourself at the end of the night. Treat that inner show stopper within you as the big sister you always wanted, the diva that you have within that you secretly admire. Don't let her down, because she is always watching, and you have to go home with her lol. So Tart, once you read all of this you can take bits and pieces as you see fit. I don't expect everyone to look at theirselves this way because it is intense. But you are an intense person, so challenge yourself to step it up within yourself a little bit. That's the only way you will be able to find the sober inner stripper, and respect her. While at work she is in charge, not you, you are dismissed for your own protection. So if you fully commit to your inner stripper, than banish your thoughts of what you could be doing ( or who ) and concetrate on the task at hand. Take ya break, stretch, repeat strong affirmations ( not the pussy lil sunny sunshine ones you read in self help books, you are insulting your persona, she isn't exactly a librarian) eat an energy bar, or take a shot-o-honey, and get that fine ass of yours back on the floor. Your audience is waiting on you.
    If you don't stand for something, you fall for ANYTHING.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    Another thing to realize about alcohol is that it's a depressant. It makes you think slower, so by putting into your body, you are literally forcing your brain to work on a slower pace. While obviously physical this business is, it's also mental as well, especially when you are selling. So by messing with that part of the equasion, you should expect the results to be reflected by that. Just food (or drink) for thought.

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    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    wow layka... great post. i'm going through the exact same situation as tart and i'm going to try your ideas. this is motivational for real.

  15. #15
    Tart
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    amazing posts!! thank you!!

    im going to do the honey thing tomorrow. !!! on top of it i'd like to take this time to full on admit that what kills my hustle more than anything else is that I start to feel pity for these customers. and that is whats getting to me.

    I know this is going to come off all sorts of fucked up, but i begin to humanize them. IE instead of seeing it as a buisness, and them as a dollar sign i start viewing them as people and emotions get involved...meaning i dont really do my job. for a long time I prided myself in this and now i think its' causing me to lose money.

    while its great to not be a cold hearted cunt, i think that i need to start taking my job more seriously because obviously they aren't. and their pity game is just that...game.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Tart View Post
    I know this is going to come off all sorts of fucked up, but i begin to humanize them. IE instead of seeing it as a buisness, and them as a dollar sign i start viewing them as people and emotions get involved...meaning i dont really do my job. for a long time I prided myself in this and now i think its' causing me to lose money.
    I have the same problem sometimes. Once I see a customer as a human being with feelings, I can't look at them like a stripper needs to look at them - a life support system for an ATM card. Because of this, I keep it on a totally superficial level. It helps me. They're there to be distracted and soothed, not psychoanalyzed. I can't help but feel like everyone, dancers and customers, are at the strip club because they have not been loved enough.

  17. #17
    Tart
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    how do you get into that mode? Or what do you do to focus with that. Because seriously as I get older instead of getting bitter i've gotten nice

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tart View Post
    how do you get into that mode? Or what do you do to focus with that. Because seriously as I get older instead of getting bitter i've gotten nice
    Keep it light, keep it fake. Remember the horrible popular girls in high school who never talked about anything sad, deep, sincere or intelligent? Be like that. Guys might not like that from wife candidates, but they want it from strippers.

  19. #19
    Tart
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    Ahh see that's my problem.

    I'll freely admit I discuss way too much with customers, however that's always been how Ive managed to make money from a talk hustle.

    I have a hard time pulling off the ditsy girl. Or the slutty chick. So, I've always stuck to the chick with issues haha

    I feel so stupid that I have to ask for advice on how to be at work considering i've done this for a goddamn decade. But hey , shit changes right ? I guess I can keep being real to those that works best with. Because there are many nights I make over a grand by being that "one" out of the crowd that is nice and honest.

    Can i still do the personable shit like sit down and talk with the light and fake stuff? Because that seems to work best. But you are right. The girls at work that make more than me are the ones that are so completely... how to put this..cuntish on the floor in a way but in the dressing room so nice and smart. Youd never know by the way they let on.

    I guess it boils down how to cold read people, and how to change an attitude on a drop of a dime.

    I need some help in all of this new found knowledge I think.

    help!!!

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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    This is where it is handy to have other skills and abilities such as massage. I'm not kidding! Where I know I'm going to spend a fair amount of time with someone and/or don't want to talk alot with that person I will suggest that they let me give them a head massage.

    I'm not strong enough to give the customer any other type of massage. I tell them I feel I do a pretty good "head job" (yes play on words) and would love to treat them to one if they will allow me.... and no it isn't a bother because the more I do it, the better I end up being with it. Usually they are willing and it doesn't strain me to do it for awhile..... and I have made some very relaxed due to it and thus makes the time go by quicker.

    Just a thought as it seems one of your troubles (besides lack of energy and/or mental stamina after 5 hours which can be helped through diet/food/drink) is what to do so long with someone when you have them for longer than an hour.

    (Oh... it can work the other way too if you can convince them to give massaging you a try.... some of them are willing to massage you)


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    Veteran Member layka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Tart View Post
    Ahh see that's my problem.

    I'll freely admit I discuss way too much with customers, however that's always been how Ive managed to make money from a talk hustle.

    I have a hard time pulling off the ditsy girl. Or the slutty chick. So, I've always stuck to the chick with issues haha

    I feel so stupid that I have to ask for advice on how to be at work considering i've done this for a goddamn decade. But hey , shit changes right ? I guess I can keep being real to those that works best with. Because there are many nights I make over a grand by being that "one" out of the crowd that is nice and honest.

    Can i still do the personable shit like sit down and talk with the light and fake stuff? Because that seems to work best. But you are right. The girls at work that make more than me are the ones that are so completely... how to put this..cuntish on the floor in a way but in the dressing room so nice and smart. Youd never know by the way they let on.

    I guess it boils down how to cold read people, and how to change an attitude on a drop of a dime.

    I need some help in all of this new found knowledge I think.

    help!!!


    And that's exactly why you have to allow your inner show stopper to show up. If you are in character intensely, at the end of the night you won't feel guilty for the way you are treating these people. The stripper persona is their to not only protect you, but she can be a scapegoat for such a harsh, extreme " I'm about my money attitude". Listen, I'm from the side of town where the grass doesn't grow, and allow me to again stress that I AM NOT glamorizing drug dealers, but after being around these hustlers for so long, I've studied them, their attitude, and ego. These guys put fucking drugs practically in their mothers hand, when you approach one of these street hustlers they will tell you " money over bitches". I do not agree with the extent they are going to make money, but I'm not making this point to judge, I'm merely pointing out their outer shell that they have in order to survive in the streets. These guys will tell you in a heart beat that they aren't forcing anyone to buy drugs, the lame excuses will go on and on, but what I want you to take from this is acknowledge their hustle. They make excuses and dehumanize their customers because they have their own family to worry about. So what I'm saying to you Tart is develop that inner persona that will say to herself everynight " I'm about my money". And when you really think about it you ARE in a field where you can help these people, although not in a life altering manner per se, lol. Tart you bring smiles to these guys faces everynight, the sight of you alone release endorphins in their system, the way I see it, we are doing the world a total service. Sure the complainers can be draining to listen too, and if one particular customer is really fucking up your mood....... be your own best friend....... get another dance, console him, but burn rubber!! DO NOT subject yourself to the constant whining, steer the subject away from depressing topics, YOU are in control. That's why I try to keep conversations light, b/c hearing people whine does the exact opposite to me.... it can tick me off. You wanna know why, I'm a type A, complusive lets do this shit woman, and to hear someone complain actually offends me! I've been through alot of shit in my life, therefore I have little patience for whining men. My favorite saying is " A man with excuses will earn my pity, but not my respect". So ultimately, you need to remind yourself that you are NOT a counselor, but you can make them feel better by getting their attention, after you get their attention you get their money ... how.... entertain. That's it, if you do your job right, it will be a win win situation. No customer should leave feeling worse than when they came to see you, and you should not leave without the cash that you deserve. Don't allow their pity party to destruct your income, ( or distract you) because if they are breathing, than it's up to them to change their life around, channel that sympathy into the best performances ever. That way you will be able to smile to yourself and say " I did my part". If you put a smile on someones face, make them laugh, and allow them to vent just a lil, than you have planted your seed..... it's up to the next random stranger, family member, lover, friends to take it from their. You can't solve these guys problems, and although you may have the solution they don't want it. Sometimes these guys are very vulnerable, and the irony of it all is that such a testosterone driven meeting place is actually the ONLY place these guys have to express their feminine side. Wierd ain't it, but think of the way they act when at the club, they just want to nurse some drinks, moan, complain, and admire/groap beautiful women because this place is allowing their vulnerabilities to be exposed without judgement from family and peers. How do we women act when we're emotional, we cry to our significant others just for them to hear us out, we don't want solutions, we want empathy. Guys have a role to play at home, and at work. They have to be strong for their wives and children, they can't vent to the guys, but once they find out that their is a place where you can get out a number of frustrations ( feeling inadquate won't be an issue at clubs once you wave those bills in the air, amongst a ton of other frustrating issues they keep pent up) drink, ogle women, and feel like the king that he feels so despertely like he's not at home, than bingo, you have the average strip club patron. With these things in mind, you will be able to put your energy to better use, entertain them, these guys obviously need attention, that's when you come in to give them a dose of sexual healing ( but of course without the sex lol). Again, I cannot stress to you the importance of you realizing that it is your job to guide the conversation, Tart you must manipulate to an extent. No one benefits from a dreary conversation, and allowing him to keep reflecting on his negative thoughts while also drinking a liquid depressant before your eyes while you're in your head pitying him is fuckin both of ya'll up. He's starting to feel worse, you're starting to feel worse, WTF, these moments you have to lighten the conversation, make him smile or laugh. But you can't allow their druken stupor to affect your money. Damnit, you're at work lol, these guys are naturally going to be depressed if they had a hard day, week, month,life and are thinking negative thoughts while drinking, you have to keep on ya feet. I don't give much thought to their druken depressed state, these men won't recieve my empathy within club walls b/c their are often too many unforseen influences (including the booze) that is exagerating their current state. This is a place to vent, moap, and try to groap. I'm pretty sure that once they leave to go home, the majority have normalcy that can rival ours But they can't play up on that while at the club, oh no, that would mean no stripper sympathy. You have to do whats best for yourself, stop trying to figure these guys out
    The reason the cold cunts bank is not neccesarily because guys like bitches, it's because of that bitch exterior they can stay in the moment and focus on the most important matter at hand, getting that money. I said earlier to be a lil bitchy, but that doesn't mean it has to be your persona, the magic in the cunt craft is they(I) have seperate thoughts and seperate actions. A guy will never be able to tell by the way I'm flirting with him, that I'm actually having an inner dialogue with myself that is something along the lines of * this conversation is heading south, I'm losing him, and I got to make this quick so I can make my next sell* The entire time I'm definately being a bitch, and I'm being firm, but the trick is too not allow these guys to be able to catch on to whats really going on. Being a cold cunt doesn't mean you have to be cold towards these men, but it's about no strings attached I'm here to make money and that's it attitude that you apply and the operative word here is ADHERE to. The cold cunts don't cut corners, we are about that dollar, bottom line. Therefore while I would love to chat more, I gotta go and continue to make that money You simply can't afford to waste your time contemplating their emotional state and lively hood, fuck that, make em smile, make em giggle, make em feel good, but make em pay.


    I know how easy it is to sympathize with the customers, but allow me to point out something....... they pity US! lol I'm pretty sure that to some degree most of these men think they have our state of mind, lifestyle, and desires figured out. Sure, they're excited and may enjoy our company, but I won't put it past these guys to actually feel bad for us. I've been offered to be "rescued" too many times too count, and I'm sure we all have. Everytime you feel your heart string tug remember that most things aren't as they seem. We are an online community that proves that. We all seem like bitches in heat at work, but how many articles on here are dedicated to loliness, seperation anxiety from the love in our life, or just not having a desire for sex at all!

    They aren't being tortured, what it boils down to is they are subjecting themselves to OUR world, OUR hustle. I have never gone out side, put a gun to someones head and said :

    * YOU, come watch me dance, drink yourself into a depressed druken stupor, and give me your rent money... NOW*

    And neither have you damnit!! LMAO You have to find strength in your stripper persona, this way you won't feel extremely guilty at the end of the night, you were doing ya job, staying in character, playing the role.
    Last edited by layka; 01-14-2007 at 09:58 AM.
    If you don't stand for something, you fall for ANYTHING.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  22. #22
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Tart View Post
    Ahh see that's my problem.

    I'll freely admit I discuss way too much with customers, however that's always been how Ive managed to make money from a talk hustle.

    I have a hard time pulling off the ditsy girl. Or the slutty chick. So, I've always stuck to the chick with issues haha

    I feel so stupid that I have to ask for advice on how to be at work considering i've done this for a goddamn decade. But hey , shit changes right ? I guess I can keep being real to those that works best with. Because there are many nights I make over a grand by being that "one" out of the crowd that is nice and honest.

    Can i still do the personable shit like sit down and talk with the light and fake stuff? Because that seems to work best. But you are right. The girls at work that make more than me are the ones that are so completely... how to put this..cuntish on the floor in a way but in the dressing room so nice and smart. Youd never know by the way they let on.

    I guess it boils down how to cold read people, and how to change an attitude on a drop of a dime.

    I need some help in all of this new found knowledge I think.

    help!!!
    You don't have to switch from a nice and honest person into a bimbo gold digger. Seriously! I'm STILL nice and I'm STILL honest with people. I don't try to be slutty or ditzy, I'm just Cameron Diaz goofy and happy all the time, even if I'm actually sad. Customers don't care if I'm sad, and if I dom then my relationship with that customer is too personal. I can still talk-hustle people who are WORTH spending time with to listen to or to talk extensively to, as in you can get money out of them for your time. But money-for-time is too much of a gamble. I just try to get dances. Every second that you are in that club counts. I used to have people pay me to hang out, $100 for a half hour, but it's too much of a gamble, in a half an hour I could have done 10 dances, which is $200.

    I call people who eat up your time without paying Time Burglars. People who dump their psychological bullshit on you are Emotional Vampires. Either way, they're STEALING from you! Your time is money.

    I once had a guy tell me his life story against my will. Everytime I'd try to get up or interrupt him, he wouldn't let me! What a waste. I should have just gotten up and walked away

    The other night, a guy paid me to listen to him CRY and dump his problems on me for $60 for 3 songs! It was a Saturday night, close to closing, and I had just given him dances. He was really wasted and sad, but I told him "I have a LOT of bills I'm behind on, and I really need to be making as much money as I can!" so he paid me to stay and talk! Did I feel bad? No. In REAL LIFE, when I wasn't AT WORK, of course I would have listened to this guy's problems "for free", but I was AT WORK.

    BOTTOM LINE: I don't want to look like a bitch for being a hustler, so I always have an excuse to spend as little time with them as possible. Like "I have $2,000 tuition due in a week!" or "I'm really behind on my bills!" or "The electric is due tomorrow and it was $400! I can't believe it! I have to go make the other $300 by tomorrow!"

    Don't feel bad. You're a stripper. If you show too much compassion, you're just encouraging delusional fantasies that you're actually interested.

    When guys ask "Why are you doing this? Are you just about the money" I tell them "Don't overanalyze this. Just enjoy it"

  23. #23
    Tart
    Guest

    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    Im going to have to read through this all in a bit, i have to geta shower and haul my ass into work.

    Layka I'd love to read your post but holy fuck its way long. it would be easier to read if it was in paragraphs.

  24. #24
    sun child
    Guest

    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    ^it's definitely worth the read!

  25. #25
    Tart
    Guest

    Default Re: Sobriety and the dancer

    A man with excuses will earn my pity, but not my respect"

    Best line ever.

    Now, Im going to go into a boring lil' sphill about my hustle. Feel free to tune me out lol.

    My hustle is, I have no hustle. I swear to god I really don't. I know what to say, and what words to avoid ( that would inturn fuck my money up. ) However, I don't have this way of operating., that always earns me money.

    I have this not so great knack of getting people to open up to me. Now, that is awesome and everything for lovers and friends. When it comes to customers, not so great. I'd like to be able to keep it a friendly buisness relationship. Knowing a regular is one thing , a total strange is another.

    In the defense of myself here, I do enjoy when people have something hard they've been through, that they chose me to open up to and let it out. While yes it can be a mood drainer, at the same time I know that Im lifting a weight off their shoulders and they will remember me for something positive not just a stripper.

    Of course I'm not talking about random convos had on the floor. I'm talking more about convos where I've already been paid.

    I do well on the floor, in terms of not getting into anything deep or meaningful. I have to stay busy and going to the stage helps with that.

    But once im up in the champagne room , its an entire other story. I'll be honest in stating that if I dont have to dance...my ass isn't going to. Sure it'll break up the mood but , hey im lazy!

    Anyone who has worked where I'm at now will tell you its a rather unique place with the fact that most guys that do pay the 600 an hour are seriously just there to talk. Very few have I ever danced for ( only when its large groups )

    Now before that hour is up I'll dance around to get the next hour , but by hour 2 im almost always ready to either rip my hair out or go to bed. And to be able to snap out of a deep convo into the lightness of the floor is something that i can't do right off the bat.

    So maybe I'll start talking myself up towards the end of the hour or something, so i can get a headstart.

    While I can understand what you mean about street hustling etc, Its still another world.

    I myself live where grass doesnt grow, and see my fair share of shit daily. Between the street girls and the corner soldiers... its another world here in good ole chicago. However, they are doing what they are doing out of desperation and IMO people that are cruising around seeking drugs or sex from hookers, aren't too human at that point as is. So its easier for those selling pussy or drugs to see those people as something less.

    But I do get your point.

    My issue is more being able to stay light hearted after feeling drained. When I was younger and dancing, I seriously paid no mind to anyone. GOD i wish I was that way still.

    I think now as I get older and the customers aren't too much older than myself, I find that I relate to them on levels. It's strange.But i dont want to lose sight that they are human beings as well. Sure they line my pockets but the aren't beneath me.

    I just want to figure out how to recapture energy after long stays in the VIP area, or how to stay focused when drunk retards are talking and talking...did i mention talking..about shit i wanna just gouge out their eyeballs to.

    lol. And on that note, why must I always get the guy that is in LOVE with me ? WHY?! then they come back while in town and take me upstairs and either try to get away with shit or talk about how I fucked up their head?! why?! goddamn i hate that.

    Does anyone have a good comeback or anything good they say to those types? I dont wanna be a dick to them and go " you have no chance in hell " but at the same time maybe it would be better time spent if I did say it followed by " so lets just enjoy the time we do have "

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