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Thread: I want to cry.

  1. #1
    Senior Member lux_44's Avatar
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    Default I want to cry.

    Well tonight was the second night ive gone home with nothing. Thats right ladies and gents, nothing. Except for the one $5 I got on stage.

    These past few weeks seem to be so difficult. All last week I made no money. Then on sunday night I didnt even get a chance to sit down, i was so busy. I seem to be having a really hard time at things, and i dont know whats changed. My dancing is still the same. I look the same. I think im acting the same.

    I read hustle hut every night before work. But i dont seem to be doing much better. Its easy to say that i shouldnt be discouraged. But, when ive been turned down by every guy in the club. And,when i see the tall thin blonde girls walking out with fist-fulls of cash. Its hard to stay positive.

    Im not making very good money. When i got into this everyone said they made awsome cash. Way better than i ever would waitressing. Now i feel like a lame ass for leaving my waitressing job, and because now im lying to my waitress friends about how well I do!


    Any suggestions? advice?

  2. #2
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    maybe you are putting too much pressure on yourself. have you checked out the how to relax before work tips? also, it sounds like lacking confidence- there's ABSOLUTELY NO NEED to compare yourself with the
    tall thin blonde girls walking out with fist-fulls of cash.
    you are not them! you are YOU and YOU are selling something different than them. when you are selling, are you confidently not taking no for an answer? are you making eye contact and thinking how the custy just HAS TO HAVE YOUR DANCE? because if you aren't, then he isn't thinking that either. those messages come through in your body language and in your eyes, even in your sex apeal filled talk.

    read this, too.
    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...ght=work+guide

    Love it!

  3. #3
    Veteran Member JettaNyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    totaly agree with you Chrissy. I'm a fat (5'3" 165lbs) red head, second day on the job i brough home nearly $200 (i'm not playing up the whole "i'm new, tehe." crap. i just warn them i might fall over while dancing). i see the opening of a hustle like hanging out and thats what i call it when the guys ask about how we dancers keep asking for dances, "i'm just here to hang out and keep you company". after like 15-20 minutes then i'll weasel in a dance..so far so good .

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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    where r u working?

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    Senior Member ShellyBElly's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    die your hair blonde, work out more and wear taller heels
    It doesnt matter whether ur black or white, cuz the only color that matters is green...


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    Banned Helle's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    Do not 'die' your hair blonde. Jesus.

    I don't know your club dynamics, but perhaps a different place of employment is in order? If you feel uncomfortable in your club, maybe try one where you feel more on level with the girls. I've worked at clubs where I could just not get over feeling like ALL the girls were ten times hotter than me. I liked having a few hotter girls, for competition but... I needed to be somewhere where I felt I fit in.

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    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    and dont EVER believe what other people say..esp. concerning how much they make.You yourself are lying to your friends about your income....what makes you think others arent lying to you? Those "fistfuls"...a lot of girls bring money IN with them to look like they are making more....
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
    -- Anna Nicole Smith

    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
    http://www.myspace.com/cameronkeys (real myspace)

    http://www.myspace.com/sexyhotdancer(work myspace)


    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    Find the club that fits you the best. I am a petite, attractive, black girl and they just weren't feeling me at my old clubs, I now work at a club far from where I live and often out earn the tall blond girls.

  9. #9
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    Chrissy68, it is true that the OP shouldn't compare herself and her money to what the other girls are making...it is self-destructive. However, perhaps the OP's point of mentioning about the tall blonde girls banking, is to point out that there IS money in the club, but it's not going to her. Sometimes when people vent on the site about how horribly they're doing at their club, a popular response is "travel, try out a new club" or "the economy is causing hurtin earnings." So perhaps she mentioned the "tall thin blondes with fistfuls of cash" ahead of time so that we wouldn't inaccurately suggest that the club is declining. Just an idea.

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    Member TrewJewel's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    The whole industry is going to hell in a hand basket, and I respect anyone who's actually still out there trying to make a living being a 'clean' dancer. Good luck, and here's to hoping it will actually get back to being a good living one of these days!

  11. #11
    Member TrewJewel's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    Quote Originally Posted by TrewJewel View Post
    The whole industry is going to hell in a hand basket, and I respect anyone who's actually still out there trying to make a living being a 'clean' dancer. Good luck, and here's to hoping it will actually get back to being a good living one of these days!
    Arg.. sorry guys I'm so negative. The business just bent me over the last couple months before my retiring. I didn't look any different, or hustle any worse.. it just made me realize dancing isn't what it used to be.

  12. #12
    Senior Member destiny2980's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    Quote Originally Posted by ShellyBElly View Post
    die your hair blonde, work out more and wear taller heels
    What the hell kindof advice is that? You are who you are and thats what will make you money. And like I have told every heavy dancer the harder you work the more toned and thin your body gets.

    And every red head I have ever met is amazing and sexy and Im sure you are too. Experiement with music and clothes to make yourself feel good and you know what that is what is going to make you successful in this buisness. You have to be confident or atleast fake it right now. Good luck girl keep trying.

  13. #13
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    ^ ^ I agree with you that ShellyBElly's advice wasn't the best, or the most appropriate for that matter, but I think there can be a small point to it. Basically, one could take her "advice" as saying...that if you do not like the way you look, or you see that a different type of look is more "marketable," then you can always change your look. For example, perhaps the OP lives in an area where the market demand is more geared towards blondes? Then maybe dying her hair would be a good idea. Then again, I do not know what the OP looks like, so I cannot say anything with certainty. Or, perhaps dying her hair blonde would be a bad idea if she looks better as a brunette.

    Let me share with you my own experience. When I first started dancing, there were days that I didn't make much money but saw customers preferring the girls with bigger boobs. So to make myself more marketable, I went ahead with the idea to get breast implants(I had already wanted them for my own personal reasons anyway; plus, I disliked my boobs ever since the age that my peers started growing boobs!). I also noticed that although my youthful looks were able to nicely pull off the innocent "cute" girl-next-door look, that customers seemed more into the seductive look/attitude. So what did I do? I started acting more like a dominatrix(as opposed to acting virginal) and that helped me get more lapdances. I also started purchasing more sexy outfits, such as corset-type costumes and fishnets and things in black(such as my black patent pleather cop costume! lol). These things helped me to make more money. However, I also made these changes because I realized that I myself preferred the sexy outfits over the "innocent" outfits, and I wanted the implants.

    Now what do I think about the OP's situation? Perhaps she works at a competitive high-hustle type of club. Crazy Horse Too in Philly is one example of that kinda club...it is great money for seasoned dancers who know how to hustle, but not a good place for first-time dancers to start. Perhaps she should seek a club that would be a better fit. Or maybe she IS a good fit at that club, but just had a few bad days? Maybe she would make more money if she marketed her look more towards the customers' demands, or perhaps she looks great and is simply dwelling on her looks because the recent bad nights have lowered her confidence. I think that the OP should take off a few days to regroup, give the club another shot, and if the zero-money days consistently continue for another week after that, then she should find another club where perhaps there is less hustle involved. Maybe she should even try a variety of other clubs until she finds a good fit. And if nothing works out, then maybe (and this is a last resort tactic) she should question if dancing is "for her" and possibly consider another type of job(such as waitressing; I heard that waitresses at upscale and/or high volume places make pretty good money! )

  14. #14
    Senior Member Lisbeth's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    Heres my advice, don't change a damn thing about yourself. A, its a slow season. B, Everyone has rough nights, sometimes rough weeks. C, Be yourself, its the differences in us that makes us attractive to different people. There is no universal look for sexy, everyone has different tastes.
    Trust me, I got depressed the other night at work because I wasnt making anything, but the tiny little stick figure sized girls were. I'm 5'4" and 120 lbs. I swore to my husband that I was obviously too fat and insisted on a diet ect ect. He told me exactly what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. He told me to shut it, get back out there and be myself, make my money and quit complaining. I understand, being a redhead myself in a club full of blondes, but in truth customers get tired of the same thing all the time. After dances with 5 different blondes and you see a redhead or brunette, well, why do men come to a club anyway? For something different. (no offense blondes) But find your own place, most importantly, the best advice another dancer gave me. If you don't think you're sexy, the customers won't either.

  15. #15
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    ^ ^ Very good point, Lisbeth. I hope my post didn't come off as too offensive. All I meant is, if you do not like the way that you look, then go ahead and change it if it will make you happier and could possibly raise your earnings. I tell my extremely insecure guy friend M--k this all the time...he constantly complains that girls won't go for him because he's "uglier than a bouquet of dead flowers."(This is definitely NOT true, however M--k could definitely look better if he made a few subtle changes, such as plucking his unibrow or dressing in more flattering clothes. That's why I took him shopping! ) If the OP is happy with the way she looks, then that should be what matters. She should tell herself more often, so that she remembers this at work, and in return will come across as more confident and sexy. However, if she WANTS to lose weight or change her hair color, she should do it because then she will be happier with herself and it might look very good on her. I went through the same thing with my implants...I knew that getting implants would raise my earnings, but I also got them because I had wanted them and because I had hated my boobs since the 4th grade.

    I agree though, that being the only redhead or brunette in a crowd of blondes can help the OP to stand out and make more money. I sell a lot of dances to Indian guys for example, because my hair is red and the Indian girls that they commonly see/date do NOT have red hair; basically, they like me because I look different than what is the "norm" in their home country of India.

    It is up to the OP to decide what is best for her. If she thinks that her hair color is blah, then she should go ahead and dye it...it'll raise her confidence. I did just that when I was 13...my naturally mousy-brown hair color was really bland, so I dyed it blonde and it looked a lot better on me, plus it made me feel better about myself. But if it is her hair that's the issue(as opposed to being non-blonde), and she wants to dye it, I would suggest dying it red or a color different from blonde so that she can stand out.

    By the way, are you sure that the OP is the redhead? I don't recall her ever specifying her hair color. Wasn't it one of the responders that said that she had red hair?

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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    Well it is fairly slow now that Christmas has past & probably will be until Super Bowl Sunday.

    I don't know your look or your style. But, you may want to make a few simple changes - hairstyle, hair color, make-up, clothing, dancing, or attitude (sultry, flirty, dominatrix or whatever). You may need to create an act. Try it out and see if it helps.

    Also, maybe take a little time off to regroup and get your mind right. Sometimes, I get burnt out, stressed out or overtired and it shows. So I make little money.

    Working out is a great idea no matter what your body type is because it makes you naturally feel healthier, stronger, sexier, and happier. Try some yoga videos or learn how to relax and meditate. Incorporate that into getting ready for work. Make yourself "at peace" before you hit the floor.

    I know the others say don't compare yourself to the other girls. But I think it would help for you to look and see the type of crowd and how they tip certain girls. Of course the tall blond will almost always make money...they don't count. I am talking about the other girls. Check their style, what they are doing and their tips/dances along with the type of customers that come in. It may all be in the matter of catering to the type of customer. I know at my club, if I am making money certain girls will not make money and vice versa. Then you have the girls that if they aren't making money...noone is making money.

    But mainly you really do not need to stress about the money. Don't think about what bills are due, how much you need to make or how much you made. Don't count your money while working. It will discourage you if you are not doing as well as anticipated. I think that customers can feel the desperation and the stress. Kinda like when you don't have a boyfriend & really want one, you can't get one and when you got one, they all want you.

    Strange but I also found that when they ask if I have a boyfriend I give them the "kinda/sorta" answer then follow with "it depends on the day or week. we just don't get along anymore." Helped a decent bit. They decided to spend on me & try to become my boyfriend. haha...as if. Of course this will only bring them back a few times before they give up or start asking you to meet them outside of the club. It's a temporary fix.

    I hope some of this helps. Good luck!

    Taylor

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    Featured Member short skirts's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    is it possible that you are stressing so hard about not making the money that you're trying too hard? Relax, have fun with a few guys and be a good salesperson while maintaining your physique and charm. Guys can sense when you're trying to hard or feeling inconfident so just try to relax a bit more. Hang out with a nice guy who's by himself and get to know him a bit. Don't put a hard hustle on. A rule of thumb, people LOVE to talk about themselves. A key word someone important taught me is *REALLY* it's a great way to keep someone talking about themself since the word can be used in so many ways i.e. REALLY?!?!?! really! reeeeaaallly... Really? really. REALLY! see? let them talk for awahile so it develops a more personal rapport. Then go in for the kill. Good luck, don't be so down on yourself. Try it for a given period of time and start checking out other clubs in the meantime.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want to cry.

    Quote Originally Posted by cameronfl View Post
    Those "fistfuls"...a lot of girls bring money IN with them to look like they are making more....
    Oh so true and very obvious when they have just walked out onto the floor and the only customers in the club have just arrived and standing at the bar and the dancer already has a $100 in her garter hehehehe.

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