So I got my marks back for last semester today. And I did a WOO HOO dance, because I really didn't anticipate my marks going up after exams...My exams were really just term papers, and I didn't exactly give them much more effort than my earlier papers. But for both of those worrisome classes, I went up a letter grade!

But then I thought WTF?? I still vaguely remember those papers. They weren't anything special, so how could they have yanked up the marks that much? I know these two profs like me...I'm a subtle, almost unintentional, suck-up. This one guy, even when he gives me a B+, his comments are like he's loathsome to do so, and feels so bad because I "came so close", and he "really wishes I got that one point a little better" (me too, dude). And then I get a little uncomfortable (I remember clearly thinking this last essay I read over...his comments were kind of pitying...like poor little blonde girl, this material is so far beyond you, but gosh-darnit, you're trying!!)...I just get this feeling that my marks are very, very slightly inflated because of good favour. Our classes are tiny (<20 students). They know who we are. It's Arts, so it's not like a shoddy B+ couldn't be bluffed into a so-so A-, you know?

Anyway. I am paranoid, but still...I am happy about the marks, but I can't help but wonder if maybe my sad little Molly looks of woe-is-me-and-my-stu-pid-ity didn't maybe get me a little pity padding (I was kind of going through this random dark feeling last exam period...uhh). I am so skeptical of those grades. Not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I love gift horses! But I don't want to be a charity case either.

Anyone else ever feel this way? Like you get something because people feel a little sorry for you?