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Thread: Humiliating...

  1. #1
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Humiliating...

    Gosh. I know I've been sounding like a huge crybaby lately....but I've had a month of one of those days.

    I almost didn't want to post this because I was so embarrassed. But I've grown to trust alot of you ladies and gents and your support has helped me in the past. Random stuff happening has been bringing me down lately, just a long stroke of bad luck. Well, tonight I decided to go back to work. I was excited, too. I decided I was going to have a good night. I wore a new dress that I felt gorgeous in, I spent extra time on my make up, and for only about the 2nd time in my little life I felt beautiful and confident. This never happens...I had even lost 6 pounds since I started my diet this past week.

    Well the night was kind of slow because of Houston happenings...and Fridays aren't usually great anyway but I was still in good spirits at least and was getting compliments about my new outfit and my make up...

    Well. Then the most degrading and humiliating thing happened and it hurt me and pissed me off alot more than it should have. I know judgement comes with the business. But why today? Why when I finally felt good about me? Why when I'd had such a bad week after week lately. The main manager tells me in the dressing room in front of everyone else that I had gained a ton of weight, and I'd gotten way too big, that I was only allowed to work weekends until I did something about it.

    For one thing...I was already doing something about slimming down a little bit for myself, but I am not, by any means fat. I could have named off at least 6 dancers standing in front of me who were bigger than me - and they weren't fat either. He was so rude about it and said it in front of everyone.

    I just turned and walked away, went and put my jeans on (it was about 4 hours before we are allowed to leave) and hid by my locker for a bit to try and settle myself down but I started crying of course like a big stupid baby. A few girls came and talked to me and made me feel a little better, and the housedaddy, too, and I just felt so stupid. One of the other managers came to see what was going on and he made me feel a little better, too, and he walky talkied the door girl to tell her I had his permission to leave early (meanie manager is the one that usually decides who can leave). (sidenote...as he is telling me I'm a hippo, theres a girl literally unconscious, passed out over a chair with about 9 glasses next to her...way to prioritize..)

    He just made me feel so incredibly shitty. I try so hard to be nice and friendly and sweet to everyone even when I'm having a horrible time, and I'm always trying to be a good person and all that jazz and it just seems like the world takes pleasure in constantly throwing piles of shit at me - little ones here, big ones there...just to see if I'll still get up and smile afterward. Why can't it just leave me alone and pick on someone else for just a little while and let me have a break.

    I'm going to meet my OWN goals for my body that I had already set, and not because some stupid prick doesn't think I'm good enough. I'm going to show him, indeed, but not for his sorry ass.

    I'm humiliated by his lack of discretion, I'm annoyed that I let it hurt me so much, dissapointed just in general, and just want to have a good day, already...I think I deserve one but maybe I'm wrong.


  2. #2
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Aw, I sorry Pooka. Managers are assholes. ****BIG HUG FOR POOKA****
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  3. #3
    Newbie Cyndi69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    How sooo wrong of him, what a prick!

  4. #4
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Thanks guys... Cally and Paige can vouche for me that I am not a PookaHippo, I sent em PookaPorn.

  5. #5
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Wow. Assholes!

    Another reason I can't go back to dancing; while I think I look healthy now with some curves, I'm afraid since I'm not stick thin I will be called a cow FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE.

    No thanks

  6. #6
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    you know what, once this guy told me, as i asked for a tip, "here's a tip: go to the gym!" and it made me feel like someone ground up my self worth into a ball and sat on it. so i understand pookster but you arent a hippo, he was just mad because he wasnt getting any! so he took it out on you. he'll get his; karma's a bitch babe.

    Love it!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    What an ass! MF had no right to tell you that in front of the other girls. Had he no sense of decency? Maybe he shat it out along with the consideration for others feelings.

    He has no idea what its like to be a girl and put your body on display for hundreds if not thousands of men in our time of dancing. To put yourself out there is alot to handle as the cheers and jeers that might come with such a display.

    Just remember you are not a cow, overweight or fat in any way at all. You are doing something good for yourself to feel better in your own skin and I applaud you. His words are complete crap just like he is.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  8. #8
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    *cuddles up to TM*

    For everyones amusement let me add that this man is literally like 4'9.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Quote Originally Posted by PookaShell View Post
    *cuddles up to TM*

    For everyones amusement let me add that this man is literally like 4'9.
    There ya go. Short man syndrome. Did you see him drive away in a Ford 350 lifted on 24in wheels? *pets pooka* its ok now the little mean old leprechan man is gone now.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  10. #10
    Cally
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    OMG!!! Im going to kill the fucker! You are NOT fat.. you are gorgeous and sexy and have the best naturals i've ever seen. *cuddles her pooka*

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    ^^ Maybe someone should donate him as green suit for St. Patrick's day, they he could be outed for the leprechaun he is.


    Oh and all managers have a little asshole in them, strip club managers get at least a double helping. Did I mention short man syndrome?

    I know there is a song about this guy...
    One more cup of coffee for the road,
    One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
    To the valley below....

    Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
    A Blogging?

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    /me shifts tank into high gear. LOL

    -Why a tank and not a gundam.... oh well.
    One more cup of coffee for the road,
    One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
    To the valley below....

    Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
    A Blogging?

  13. #13
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    I'mboutfittin (how's that for a Florida term) to come over there and start stabbin folks.
    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
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  14. #14
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    You don't need to change a thing dear and don't worry assholes like that dont change either but you cant waste your energy on a guy like that the hell with him !

  15. #15
    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Sorry to hear that, Pooka. Are you new at that club? Sometimes girls who have been at a club for years get away with murder, while new girls get bitched at for the dumbest reasons.

    If that's you in your avatar, you look very pretty and I can't see your body, but you don't look fat to me!

    Hope things get better for you!






  16. #16
    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Fuck him. Seriously...is there someone above hi myou can go to? I did that once..a manager told me I shouldnt get any fatter..blah blah...I went to the GM and told him that if there was a problem with me he should tell me himself. And I was actually thinner then when I had started there. He told me he had NO problem with me and the other manager was reprimanded.

    About a yr later the owner sent me a message that I was too fat(yeah..I quit, that was the last straw). This guy is seriously 400 lbs. I told him not to screw with me...I was NOT fat..and if he wasnted to see morbidly obese he should look in the mirror. The problem wasnt me.....they were systematically getting rid of all the American girls....the foreign ones were easier to control.
    I went to a new club, and was happy ever after.
    Get out...there HAS to be a better club in Housten. You are gorgeous and deserve better.
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
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  17. #17
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Pookah, you're beautiful! Congratulatins on losing six pounds already! That's amazing!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  18. #18
    Veteran Member Krissy Kennedy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Next time I'm in the area, I'll come kick him square in the nuts for you. I'm sorry that happened to you...I've seen your pictures and you're absolutely beautiful. I guarantee the manager in question was some big, greasy, balding lard ass, too. Keep your chin up, and don't let the opinion of one moron get you down. Hugs!
    Si hoc non legere potes tu asinus es



  19. #19
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    managers are jerks. youve had a lot of shitty stuff going on lately but it cant get MUCH worse, can it? when it rains, it pours. cant last forever

  20. #20
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Wow...so sorry to hear that...

    There's still some room on my lap.

  21. #21
    Veteran Member I_luv_dancers!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Public criticism is the mark of a bad manager - that's the first thing they cover in "Management 101". It's also the mark of a "difficult" person.

    When the criticism is unwarranted, as it is with our sweet Pookashell, it's so much the worse.

    YOUR job is to not let this person make you feel badly. He's a bad manager, everyone around you knows he's a bad manager. He's going to do bad manager things - and you should expect him to do bad manager things but you should not accept his behavior. Do not let him get away with it. Next time respond to him, right away, about how inappropriate it was for him to criticize you publicly.

    Don't even get into the argument about the validity of his criticism.

    The guy's a tool, certainly not worthy of your tears.

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    ....And I_Luv_Dancers.....can I say that your post brought a tear to my mildly buzzed eye? Right on...you are so awesome, thank you for the post. I really needed to hear it, esp. after what's happening with someone close to me. Big hugs and tugs to you!

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  22. #22
    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Pooka-I'm so sorry that happened! *Hugs* How effing rude and uncalled for. I've seen you at work and guys LOVE you. You're beautiful-I know it, and all the girls here know it!

  23. #23
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Awwww...I'm sorry to hear he's such an ass! I hope you're feeling better today!

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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    I'm going to go down there and kick his ass!
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

  25. #25
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Humiliating...

    Oh honey. That's awful. Managers are jerk offs who care way more about keepig you in line than about actually managing the club or making money. Keep that in front of you. Another way to look at it:

    Would you accept this person's recommendation for a baby sitter? For a roofer? For a good movie or book? For a painting or gallery opening? Would his opinion mean ANYTHING to you for any of these things or, if he recommended a book to you, would you be all "Hmm. Thanks. I'll see if I get around to it." If (as I suspect is the case) the answer is "no" - his opinion, if anything, would vitiate any desire to see/read/look at/hire anything he thought was good, WHY would you accept his opinion of YOU as meaningful? Managers are jerks - there is nothing to be done about that. If you really want to work the club, I would suggest that you go to ANOTHER manager, tell him that you did what the first guy said and lost the weight (it DOESN'T matter if it is true - but it is important that you don't undercut their precious authority), and that he was right, you feel much better, and you would really like to work again. Then when the first guy asks, you can just say "Yeah, I lost weight and xxx said that I could work again. Thanks for the advice."
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