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Thread: Can't be friends with you ....

  1. #1
    Senior Member yolanda's Avatar
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    Angry Can't be friends with you ....

    ..... because you are a stripper. Nice. Way to be spiritually involved in your "program". What a effin bitch face. These ppl. were / are about to give my bf a share of a land deal that he got the permits and zoning changed for. I hope it didn't ruin it for him, you know, being I am such a whore. I have taken on a coulple shifts (barely one a week) because we need the money and have been waiting for this transaction to come through
    These ppl are in AA, and that is not how it works ~ I'll wait for my amends on this one. She invited me to a women's group early in the morning and when I explained how I work at night, I got a phone call today ~ My husband doesn't want me to be around you and I don't want to you to be around him because you are a stripper. The man has known my bf almost 20 years and had many a sucessful business deals. They know my SO have been together 4 years (living together) and how could they be blind that I am actually a shy dork who when others find out I had danced, were totally shocked..

    Done Ranting .... this was an immediate reaction ..... I feel better .... not taking it personally .... praying for their sickness ...... I KNOW I AM A GOOD PERSON!

  2. #2
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    closed minded people suck ass. at least you have more class than them... if that ruins a business deal, that's absolutely not your fault. people amaze me, like you are going to jump her husband because you know, us strippers can't control our sex drive, and we are such sluts. *hold... me... back....* they will realize that you are just a regular person with a different job one day, and then they will feel very stupid for being prejudiced. but karma will get them.. and i bet anything this was all the woman's doing, not the man's. don't worry girl, you *are* a good person... just hold back that sex drive and try not to attack her husband you know? lol.

    Love it!

  3. #3
    Senior Member yolanda's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    Thanks. I don't even have a sex drive but if I was looking for inspiration it wouldn't be them. My bf and his sponser agree (they know her better) that it most definately was her doing. They don't think her husband knows and or would pull the deal out. We are going to wait until the check clears until we give her a response. My bf said he would of cussed her out even with all of his spiritual and bettering thyself actions he is taking. He is surprised and proud that my conversation with her, on my part, was civil, I basically said that I had a feeling all last night that she would be judgemental and politely hung up on her.

    You know how about before ten years ago mental health issues were not talked about and shame ridden and now it is a very open topic, people not seeming to mind saying they are on prozac and such .... I wonder if the adult entertainment industry will get to that point .....
    Last edited by yolanda; 01-13-2007 at 06:19 PM.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    I think all dancers have this expereince from time to time. In my case it was a photographer who hired me for a nude shoot. It went really well, and I felt like we would really get along well, so I invited her out several times. Finally she told me that she couldn't hang out because I was a stripper. I was like...Huh? She photographs people nude for a living.

    Anyway, people are silly and narrow minded. They probably aren't worth wasting your time on anyway. I hope the business aspect of your relationship isn't negatively effected.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  5. #5
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    I had a similar experience to this, but not with stripping ironically. But I *did* have people who "couldn't be friends with me," simply because I didn't have a car and other things. This occured in my days before I got into dancing, when I didn't have any money. Those people were not true friends. This one guy Dr. Tom(I'm not gonna even bother changing his name to a fake one!) is one example...we were friends, he was even nice enough to let me stay with him until I moved in with a friend, but then he up and out ditched me. He didn't even want to talk on the phone to me anymore! He was convinced that I was an "unworthwhile person" because I didn't have money, a running car, or a respectable job. He probably assumed that I was in that situation because of laziness or other bad traits that one can voluntarily help; but in reality, I was just a good girl with bad luck and a lot of unintentional financial obstacles.

    Haha little did Dr. Tom know that I would become a dancer, and then use dancing to my advantage to climb myself outta my financial hole! Did Dr. Tom expect me to finish college and drive a brand new car less than a year later? Or, did he think that I would turn out to be "good enough" to nab one of his good friends S--n? LOL a certain guy friend on SW(I won't disclose HIS name!) says that Dr. Tom "missed out."

    I also remember a few people ditching me because I wasn't working a "respectable" job. (I was working in stupid retail at the time, because it was the best I could find...sad, I know. This occured before I got into dancing.) They mistaked me for being "dumb" or "not working hard enough," just because my bad luck with finding jobs meant that I had to work in retail(or else face unemployment). Man I'm glad that those times are over with...

    As far as the stripping thing goes, I posted about stripping on a certain job forum. A lot of people bashed dancing and blatantly flamed me. So I stopped visiting the site. Some time later, I went to the same job site again and wrote a thread venting about how people are so quick to bash strippers, but do not stop to think that stripping is a legal job, PLUS it is less of a tax burden to them for me to earn my living by stripping, as opposed to working a $6/hr job and requiring Welfare/food stamps/housing assistance/student loan default. After that, some people saw my point and applauded me for it.

  6. #6
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    I had a very religious Christian friend in high school. We were best friends for a couple years.Last year she just changed- she said she couldn't be my friend because I was a stripper. When I tried to ask "WTF? I'm your BFF!" she stopped responding to any way I tried to contact her.

    Finally while I was talking to my mom one day she mentioned my friend. I told mom how effed up she was about the whole exotic dancing job I had and stopped speaking to me, and said "Mom, I don't need a friend like her!" My mom looks at me and shakes her head:
    "Do you want to know the real reason she said she stopped talking to you?"

    "Uhm, I thought that WAS the real reason, that's what she told me!"

    Mom shook her head again.

    "I talked to her at the hospital last week (this ex friend has Crohn's disease and is in and out of hospitals). She was talking about you and how she couldn't be your friend because she said you were bragging how you were so cool because you got married in Vegas while you were drunk"

    I almost hit the ceiling. Who the hell did she think she was? She was making up lies about me to my own MOTHER just because she knew me being a stripper wasn't really enough to stop being friends with me!

    I wrote her on myspace saying I hoped her daughter learned better manners than her mother.

    Oh, did I mention? My ex BFF who was super Christian, went to Christian fellowships, groups, church all the time who was too holy to be my friend is actually quite the hypocrite. She did more sexual things in high school than I came close to (how becoming of a strict Christian girl!) with several guys, got pregnant with a boyfriend 2 months after she met him, and ended up marrying him. I have no doubt that under that happy marriage facade she has, she only married him for it not to look so bad to the church being pregnant out of wedlock.

    Now i see pictures of her. She is so pale and overweight I almost don't recognize her.

    Karma is a bitch.

  7. #7
    Senior Member yolanda's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    When I was a younger dancer, I was always worried what people thought of me, judging me, etc. but no one ever really did. Now that I am a little older, wiser, sober (ish)....I didn't think it was an issue and I figured that just by talking to me, ppl would see that I am not the "stereotype" This made me cry and I NEVER (well, rarley) do that. Plus with her being in the "program" she could of sent me off the edge. What if I was really struggling with sobriety right now? Having someone talk to a "newcomer" that way is just so sad and potentially deadly. It's all good though ... she obviously has to work on herself a little harder and gosh, I hope she doesn't sponsor anyone.

    I am still having repeats of " don't want you talking to us because you're a stripper" running through my head but hopefully that will fade tonight.

    Oh, I forgot to add, she said my man " could still cycle with hers though" I think I said " I doubt that will happen"

    Thanks for sharing! (inside AA'ism )

    I am glad you all are here to listen, umm...read & type!

  8. #8
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    AA and Al-Anon are 12 step cults, most of the people there are nuts or brainwashed, or both. There's many places that will tell you that those programs only have a 2% success rate.

    I wouldn't expect less, take it all with a grain of salt.


    (Im being forced to do Al Anon as a community service, blah)

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    Honestly, I don't know anything about AA. But I do know this: years ago, my friends had an "intervention" and told me how I was ruining my life by stripping. I quit, and couldn't pay my rent, all this bad stuff happened and I got to the point where I was like, "What the fuck are you doing this for? You're broke and miserable so that people will like you better? These people don't live my life." I am still friends with these people, and sort of forgave them because we were all 20 years old and stupid when this went down, but really. If someone is going to be so close minded as to judge me for being a stripper, they aren't someone I would want in my life anyway.

  10. #10
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire View Post
    AA and Al-Anon are 12 step cults, most of the people there are nuts or brainwashed, or both. There's many places that will tell you that those programs only have a 2% success rate.

    I wouldn't expect less, take it all with a grain of salt.


    (Im being forced to do Al Anon as a community service, blah)
    If you are in a larger city, there are different AA groups. My ex had to bounce between a couple of them before she found a comfortable one.

  11. #11
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    Uhm Deo? I said I was in AL-ANON, not AA for COMMUNITY SERVICE as per my diversion program.

    I have no idea how that's supposed to be community service.

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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    Oh, please, my mom's been in recovery for 18 years and I've never heard anything like that. It's their own damn hang-up or that of their sponsor and has nothing to do with AA. NOTHING.

    And it's not a cult, people. It's saved the lives of some of my nearest and dearest and that 2% rate is a joke. People who successfully overcome alcoholism and drug addiction are NOT "nuts or brainwashed or both."

    The line of crap she fed you is not representative of any 12-step program. She's just a judgmental bitch who makes assumptions about your character based on one aspect of your life. *cough*

  13. #13
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    Quote Originally Posted by PhillyDancer1982
    I also remember a few people ditching me because I wasn't working a "respectable" job. (I was working in stupid retail at
    the time, because it was the best I could find...sad, I know. This occured before I got into dancing.) They mistaked me for
    being "dumb" or "not working hard enough," just because my bad luck with finding jobs meant that I had to work in
    retail(or else face unemployment). Man I'm glad that those times are over with...
    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire View Post
    Oh, did I mention? My ex BFF who was super Christian, went to Christian fellowships, groups, church all the time who was too holy to be my friend is actually quite the hypocrite. She did more sexual things in high school than I came close to (how becoming of a strict Christian girl!) with several guys, got pregnant with a boyfriend 2 months after she met him, and ended up marrying him. I have no doubt that under that happy marriage facade she has, she only married him for it not to look so bad to the church being pregnant out of wedlock.

    Now i see pictures of her. She is so pale and overweight I almost don't recognize her.

    Karma is a bitch.
    Hahahahaha Corsica Fire, I can relate to the whole gratification that you feel when a "hater" becomes fat or ugly later in life! Remember how I said that some guys started viewing me as "unintelligent" and "not good enough" when they found out that I worked in a lowly retail job?(even though this job was definitely NOT my choice!) I remember one guy in particular, named "Stan." Stan was a former fattie who lost nearly 100lbs on Atkins. He literally looked like a completely different person when he lost the weight!(in other words, he looked HOT) But with the loss of weight, also came a loss of politeness and friendliness...he started snubbing me, simply because he wasn't interested in the dumb girl working retail out of college, and used my "interest" in him against me. So annoying!

    Well anyways, he went to Harrisburg to work for the scumbag of all scumbags, former senator Rick Santorum. When he came back to his hometown, he'd gained back all of the weight, plus was starting to bald! I know it's mean, but I can't help but feel pretty damn smug that he's gotten fatter, while I've gotten better looking(I've gotten fatter in the boobs! lol) and have a decent job that I can admit to.

    On the other hand though, I kinda wish that he WASN'T fat. Because if I act like a snob around him, or make snide comments about him and his narrowminded ways, people are bound to assume that I'm "hating on him because he is fat." Doesn't it always work that way?...make fun of a fat person, or an older person(i.e., around 60 but still kickin), or a person belonging to a minority, and they automatically assume that you're "prejudiced"? So in a sinister way, I kinda wish Stan was still thin, because then if I acted bitchy to him, everyone would figure it was because Stan is a jerk, as opposed to it being because "Stan is fat."

  14. #14
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    Oh, please, my mom's been in recovery for 18 years and I've never heard anything like that. It's their own damn hang-up or that of their sponsor and has nothing to do with AA. NOTHING.

    And it's not a cult, people. It's saved the lives of some of my nearest and dearest and that 2% rate is a joke. People who successfully overcome alcoholism and drug addiction are NOT "nuts or brainwashed or both."

    The line of crap she fed you is not representative of any 12-step program. She's just a judgmental bitch who makes assumptions about your character based on one aspect of your life. *cough*
    Well if you really read up on the programs, you never "recover". You have to "keep coming back" or else like in AA they say that the person never recovers, they just become a "dry-drunk". They have made it so you will need them forever because according to the program you are in a perpetual state of recovery.

    I'm going to quit this talk now with a final link and go back on topic, because if I keep going on this I'll never stop.

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    Veteran Member lexXe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire View Post
    AA and Al-Anon are 12 step cults, most of the people there are nuts or brainwashed, or both. There's many places that will tell you that those programs only have a 2% success rate.

    I wouldn't expect less, take it all with a grain of salt.


    (Im being forced to do Al Anon as a community service, blah)
    Ummm I'm going to have to disagree with this comment. One of my best friends is apart of NA and has been clean for almost five years. Before NA, nothing worked for him. He has become extremely spiritual, motivated and grounded. To say that most of the people there are nuts or brainwashed is extremely unfair. I have seem it transform the lives of many (since I've been around the people in his program).

  16. #16
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    Quote Originally Posted by lexXe View Post
    Ummm I'm going to have to disagree with this comment. One of my best friends is apart of NA and has been clean for almost five years. Before NA, nothing worked for him. He has become extremely spiritual, motivated and grounded. To say that most of the people there are nuts or brainwashed is extremely unfair. I have seem it transform the lives of many (since I've been around the people in his program).
    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire View Post
    Well if you really read up on the programs, you never "recover". You have to "keep coming back" or else like in AA they say that the person never recovers, they just become a "dry-drunk". They have made it so you will need them forever because according to the program you are in a perpetual state of recovery.

    I'm going to quit this talk now with a final link and go back on topic, because if I keep going on this I'll never stop.
    Disagree if you like. It's my opinion since I'm having to attend Al Anon.

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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    Oh, please, my mom's been in recovery for 18 years and I've never heard anything like that. It's their own damn hang-up or that of their sponsor and has nothing to do with AA. NOTHING.

    And it's not a cult, people. It's saved the lives of some of my nearest and dearest and that 2% rate is a joke. People who successfully overcome alcoholism and drug addiction are NOT "nuts or brainwashed or both."

    The line of crap she fed you is not representative of any 12-step program. She's just a judgmental bitch who makes assumptions about your character based on one aspect of your life. *cough*


    Agreed. AA and NA do a lot of good for a lot of people. Sure, it wont be the cure all and fix all for every single person. And a big part of it is WANTING to go and be clean and sober. I have a lot of AA/NA friends, and they all know what I do. Hell, some even come visit me at work. Its all groovy to them.
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  18. #18
    Veteran Member lexXe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    Quote Originally Posted by CorsicaFire View Post
    Disagree if you like. It's my opinion since I'm having to attend Al Anon.
    I understand that you feel differently than I do. That's cool. I just wanted to give people the other positive side of it, in case someone out there is reading this and looking for answers to how to deal with their addiction. Like anything, it won't work for everyone but it's a better choice than continuing down a path of destruction.

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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    I agree, when you're in AA or NA you're not ever "cured", you're "recovering" and it's something you must work on everyday. I've not known many people in it but my one friend's bf has truely amazed me on how well he's doing, especially how he was doing before I met him. I heard plenty of scary stories and he's actually inspired me to want to start attending the programs for me to get sober. Some people are genetically susceptible to becoming an addict, they have an "allergy" to it and some don't. For the ones that have the allergy, the 12 steps is the only thing that works to this day. Maybe one day they'll actually find a cure, but for now all they have is a treatment solution, it's a great support group.

    Sorry to get off topic, as for Yolanda, this is girl is obviously f$cked up!!!! Maybe not drunk f$cked up but in other ways. She should not have said that to you, especially being in the delicate position you are in. However, please do not take that to heart, it's not you that's the problem, it's her, it's her own insecurites. Who knows, for all we know her husband or an ex-b could have cheated on her with a stripper and now assumes all strippers are whores. If that's not the case, she's very hypocritical and very judgemental. Someone who you DO NOT want as a friend and someone you would never want as a sponser or someone for the AA supportness. You are not a whore, you are a loving, beautiful, very talented & intellegent and wonderful friend to have!!!!!!! She has no effing clue who she just lost, and remember it's her loss!!!!! Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend and she doesn't deserve that. She's obviously a very unhappy person and you just happened to be a target, it made her feel better about herself to put you down, that's what people do to make themselves feel better when they feel like crap.

    Yes, you maybe a dancer, but you are NOT a whore, not by a long shot!!!!!! Just be glad that you found out her true colors before really becoming friends with her. Think how that would have made you feel if you became close friends with her and then she pulls that crap? It would've been so much harder for you. I think everything in life happens for a good reason and this showed you she's not someone you want to be around. When you call someone a friend, you call them a friend for a reason. Friendship is earned, not just given to someone, you don't need a loser like that in your life, especially when you have many friends that truely love you like a sister and would NEVER judge for anything, all your friends are here to support you & love you. Forget that stupid bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's not worthy of walking on the same ground as you, she's not even worthy enough to lick the bottom of your shoes!!!!!

    P.S. This bitch better hope she never runs into me, because you know it won't be pretty, you knowing how I am!!!!

  20. #20
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't be friends with you ....

    AA and NA are just like any other groups of people. Some you can trust, some you can't, some will judge, some will not, some will gossip.......you get the gist.

    I was always told that you are supposed to stay on topic in meetings. I can't imagine how you being a stripper would ever come up unless it was between you and your sponsor. Personal details like that are not even appropriate for meetings, that is what your sponsor is there for.

    I've been in and out of those programs, and only about two people ever knew I danced. It was and isn't an issue amongst the 12-steppers I know. Maybe I just know a cool group. The steps didn't do shit for me, but the people are great. I'd recommend the groups to anyone with a problem.
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