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Thread: People that go from warm to cold

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default People that go from warm to cold

    I was just wondering if any of you have been around a person that goes from "warm" to "cold". Everything is fine for a while than suddenly something goes bad for them and they are cold to you. It kind of keeps you on guard because you don't know when they are going to go "cold" again on you.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Hmm, can you explain this a little more? It sounds kinda like a 'personality disorder' or maybe a sociopath?


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Well, I have a friend that's all fine and dandy the majority of the time but when something comes up unexpected in her life or something doesn't go right for her she takes it out on those around her including me. Then after the argument or dissagreement she goes back to like everything is fine. I can't continue doing it with her. I just assume she not talk to me or refuse to talk to anyone except maybe a therapist when the shit hits the fan if you know what I mean.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Oh. Well, it could be immaturity, or maybe, from what I've read, borderline personality disorder? There've been threads on that here before. I couldn't take that type of behavior either.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    I used to have these kinds of friends...but I don't anymore.

    I have to ask...why do you keep bringing people like this into your life?

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    Veteran Member Krissy Kennedy's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Sounds like one of my managers...and my husband!
    Si hoc non legere potes tu asinus es



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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Green, I had a friend like that. She was great to hang out with and was so much fun, but as soon as something in her life went awry, and it may not even have anything to do with me, she was insta-b*tch. I always thought it was a way for her to get attention "What's wrong? Talk to me. What can I do to help?" etc.... As soon as I stopped giving her attention when this happened she stopped doing it to me. But as a result, she stopped being a friend as well.

    It sucks this other person is pulling you along with her emotions, I would say the best thing to do is remove yourself from her when she gets like that. Or tell her openly that it hurts your feelings.

    I wound up having to tell this girl that I could no longer be friends with her. It sucked, but I'm happier for it in the long run




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    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    I'm gonna go with bad-tempered and immature on that one.

    Next!
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    I know what you mean Green. My mom is like this to me, and my Grandpa is like this to her. It must run in the family. Glad to know I don't do this!! It does grow tiresome to always have to walk on eggshells with people like this. But when its family, its hard to avoid...

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    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Yep, sounds like an immature bitch. I too wonder why you seem to be so attracted to people who subject you to emotional abuse. You should really consider counselling; you need to grow a backbone and some self-respect.

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    Featured Member short skirts's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Sounds bi-polar to me.

    Tell her how she acts to you andthat you won't tolerate the behavior any longer. Next time she has an outburst, just walk away, leave, hang up, etc. Call her later when she's calm and see how she's doing. Eventually she'll learn to control this around you.

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    Pamela
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Quote Originally Posted by short skirts View Post
    Sounds bi-polar to me.

    Tell her how she acts to you andthat you won't tolerate the behavior any longer. Next time she has an outburst, just walk away, leave, hang up, etc. Call her later when she's calm and see how she's doing. Eventually she'll learn to control this around you.
    Could be. So many people are Bi-polar and don't know it.

    I surround myself with people who are nice and warm...if they throw a fit that is really for no good reason, they are out of my life.
    These people will make your life horrid trying to figure them out. I had enough of them in school, not now. To easy to walk!

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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Hmm. I don't know if this is the same thing or what you are talking about. One of my best friends just has a hard time handling problems that are unexpected, and she'll get wrapped up in them and will distance herself from people instead of asking for help. Its probably a less severe version of what you are talking about. I just give her space. It bothers me but its just the way she handles it.

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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    I don't have friends like that. I have even met some "nice" people that just give me a bad feeling. I stay the hell away from them as well.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Yes, gut feelings about people are what work for me.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess View Post
    I used to have these kinds of friends...but I don't anymore.

    I have to ask...why do you keep bringing people like this into your life?
    Well, I don't know they are like this initially, then I find it out I guess I'll become a better judge through experience.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Yep, sounds like an immature bitch. I too wonder why you seem to be so attracted to people who subject you to emotional abuse. You should really consider counselling; you need to grow a backbone and some self-respect.
    I started counseling last week and having being reading a good book. It relates to Frued's theory regarding the id, ego and superego. It says we a lot times look for people who can give us something we lost during our childhood. But a lot of times we end up picking people that mirror our parent's mistakes instead of people that compliment us and give us what our parents did not. My counselor is going work with me on my confidence and insecurities as well.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Yep, sounds like an immature bitch. I too wonder why you seem to be so attracted to people who subject you to emotional abuse. You should really consider counselling; you need to grow a backbone and some self-respect.
    Quote Originally Posted by Pamela View Post
    Could be. So many people are Bi-polar and don't know it.

    I surround myself with people who are nice and warm...if they throw a fit that is really for no good reason, they are out of my life.
    These people will make your life horrid trying to figure them out. I had enough of them in school, not now. To easy to walk!
    She gets stressed about things that are a big deal and I understand why it would indeed be stressful but it's not my fault. I don't mind being a listening ear if she wants to bitch or vent but I can't be a mental punching bag for her.

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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    When I'm down, I find it hard to keep in touch with friends. I'm not bitchy to them outwardly, but I will avoid people/ life in general. I confess to not returning calls, emails, etc. when I'm out of sorts. I like to hole up and shut the world out. It pisses people off. Also, I am immature in many ways. If it's any consolation, I'm sure they don't mean it personally. Not that it's any excuse.

  20. #20
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Oh yeah, I know people like that too. I just leave them to it. If they want to be shitty and negative its not my problem and Im not going to be brought down by them. They can come back when they're over it but I refuse to be a part of other peoples unnessesary shit and drama which is what it is.
    Im quite happy to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on for "real" problems but theres a huge difference between that and people who try to effect and control others regularly on perpose. Bah, I feel shitty just thinking about it, lol! :-D

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    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    I used to work with a guy like that. He'd be a real ass if he was in an off mood. I think he might have been bipolar. I do know he was in addiction recovery.

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    I was just wondering if any of you have been around a person that goes from "warm" to "cold". Everything is fine for a while than suddenly something goes bad for them and they are cold to you. It kind of keeps you on guard because you don't know when they are going to go "cold" again on you.
    I've known two people like that. I consider them both to be sociopaths, but I didn't know that until the 'cold' thing hit. I don't have much experience because I cut them both out right away after they were mean to me (unprovoked)...I don't need that kind of bullshit.

    On the other hand, maybe people consider me cold? I can be uncommunicative...I rarely answer the phone, for example. It depends if you're talking about aloofness or someone actually being mean to you. The former is OK, the latter inexcusable, imo.

    Feature costumes for sale!

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    Featured Member sunnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    She gets stressed about things that are a big deal and I understand why it would indeed be stressful but it's not my fault. I don't mind being a listening ear if she wants to bitch or vent but I can't be a mental punching bag for her.
    I used to be like this when I was younger (until my late teens, maybe my very early 20s too). So I guess I'll try to explain it from the other point of view.

    My brother is bipolar and my dad had issues with depression, so I guess it is in the family.

    when I was younger and things would go wrong I would explode inside and could not deal with the people around me...I was probably like your friend, explosively angry, and it was always misdirected. Over the years it has dwindled, but even now I just kind of shut down and cannot talk to anyone. My friends know the signals, especially my roommates (if my door is shut to my office, do not attempt to speak to me)...but it is simply not possible for me to just get over it and be normal.

    But this IS anger management. It has gotten WAY better over the years, but it takes a long time. On the other hand, when you have a kind of extreme personality, the benefit to the people around you is that when you are *on* you are so excited about everything and so enthusiastic that you become really magnetic...or so I have been told. I think it is true.

    Gosh, i don't think I can explain it very well, cause it really is unjust to be abusive to the people around you. It happens, you know it is happening, you regret it and want to stop, but there is like a wall blocking you. Does that make sense?

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    Member miss_c's Avatar
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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    Quote Originally Posted by PookaShell View Post
    Hmm. I don't know if this is the same thing or what you are talking about. One of my best friends just has a hard time handling problems that are unexpected, and she'll get wrapped up in them and will distance herself from people instead of asking for help. Its probably a less severe version of what you are talking about. I just give her space. It bothers me but its just the way she handles it.
    i'm pretty much that same way. it seems to always bother people so much, and i honestly don't understand that sometimes. my problems aren't always big and significant, but they can bother me a lot. and most often i just don't feel like burdening others with my problems.. yet it seems like everyone wants me too or something?

    i guess sometimes i'm also tired of hearing the same shit from people who just don't understand (when it comes to the bigger things that you can't understand until you go through it yourself). i also hate trying to explain myself.. it always feels like i have to explain and justify every feeling to make them valid to someone else.. what a waste of energy.


    and now i'm rambling. this is actually part of the whole reason i'm looking for a new roommate right now. i'm not mean, i just keep to myself.
    i may have lost my virginity, but i still have the box it came in.

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    Default Re: People that go from warm to cold

    My thoughts as well . Get away from negative people because that is all your gonna get from them and it will make you one of them .

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess View Post
    I used to have these kinds of friends...but I don't anymore.

    I have to ask...why do you keep bringing people like this into your life?

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