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Thread: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    I have a friend, I've posted about her before, that I used to work with. Fun girl when she's happy, a real b*tch when life goes wrong. Turns out she probably suffers from depression, she is definiatly OCD (organizes sunglasses on her coutner in order of color and size, REALLY freaks out if her clothes are out of order and reorganizes objects so they are symetrical without realizing she's doing it), and has some body image issues, as in I have known her to not eat well or take care of herself when she thinks hse's getting heavy. But she has an AMAZING body....no joke.

    Anyway...she's pregnant, told me the other day. So now I am worried about her. Big time...and not just her but this baby! She is past the point of return. And my fear is that she will harm the baby by not eating well or falling into severe depression over her body image and emotions.

    So, this leads up to my question..... should I try and talk to her about it? Should I butt in or keep my nose to myself? I thought of calling her and saying "Look, you and I both know you have some issues (she called me during her bried suicidal day, drove her to a counselor) and some women can experience SEVERE depression if they are allready influenced by it, I'm here if you need to talk."

    Ugh, I dunno, I'm just worried she'll do something stupid like not eat, or freak out about the weight gain and hurt herself. I guess I'm venting....




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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    I think you should talk to her. It's just not about her anymore, it's about another little helpless life that's at her mercy. You'd do something if someone was abusing a child outside of the womb so I'd do the same for in the womb. Just talk to her and say you really care about her and worry, and that you want her to have the healthiest most gorgeous baby ever.

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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    ^ That's exactly my feeling! I mean, k, she's a grown woman, if she wants to live her life one way, who am I to stop or judge her...but now there's a baby involved...and while I am not anti abortion, I STRONGLY feel once you are at the point where a life is depending on you, you do it right!

    Just finding the right way to approach her, without her feeling embarassed or upset at me for thinking she might need help. Does that make sense?




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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    Yup,you don't want to seem like her mom but a friend.

  5. #5
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Just finding the right way to approach her, without her feeling embarassed or upset at me for thinking she might need help. Does that make sense?
    Matter of fact would be the best way. I mean, you've been through stuff with her before, so it's no secret to her that you know she's prone to depression, etc. You should just voice your concerns and let her know that you're there for support, to talk to, whatever.

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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    That would be my first way to do it...plain and simple.... We haven't been "close" in a while, not since I told her I couldn't handle her self induced drama anymore. But my sources tell me since we broke off our friendship, she hasn't really done much, no haning out with the girls, no going to the gathering ,etc...just became "His Girlfriend". So, while we're not that close anymore, I think I might be the closest female friend she has around at this point.

    I think I'm going to try and get her to go to lunch with me this week.....see what happens.




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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    I know this sounds bad, but maybe stretch the truth? Say you knew someone in the past who wasn't healthy during the pregnancy, and her baby had problems when he was born etc. It is lying, but for a good cause. People always respond better when they hear about a real life situation.

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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    Personally, I think you should kind of butt out. If she's not ACTIVELY doing things to harm her baby...you implying that she's a bad mom (if you've never been through a pregnancy...you wouldn't understand the hormonal emotional outbreaks) already could very well "tip the scales".

    I think the way you should word it is something along the lines of you being there for her during the pregnancy...and not mention anything about her body issues and her OCD. I mean, I was bulimic for a long time...and although I've been NOT bulimic for many years...it was still hard as a pregnant woman watching my body get bigger and stretch and change and not have some "twinge" to control it. It comes with the territory. I was lucky that I had some wonderful people around me who cared about me and "talked" me through the bad days. But, I can tell you that I would have been very upset if someone said, "You can't be trusted with having a healthy baby cuz you just have issues."

    Maybe telling her that you know how emotionally challenging pregnancy and delivery can be and that if she ever needs someone to talk to or to help out...to call you. You are basically saying the same thing, but not telling her that she's liable to screw up the new baby cuz she's crazy or whatever.

    KWIM?

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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    Hehe, I doubt I would say to her "you can't be trusted with a having a baby." lol....and I have been through the emotional hormonal outbreaks....

    But that's my point, butt out and let nature take it's course or somehow let her know that I'm there if she needs support.
    It's not as if she were reckless years ago... this is like two months ago! So yah, I'm worried, but like I said, I don't want to hurt her feelings or embarass her.

    If I didn't think it was really possible for her to do something along those lines, then I wouldn't be so worried....unfortuantely, I really think it's possible.

    So, no. I wont come right outand say "Hey fruitcake, your batty and we're all scared your going to go off the deep end while preggers." But finding a nicer way to say it is what I'm looking for.




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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    Or send her atleast 1,000 baby books, she has to pick something from one them right .

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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    How far along is she?

    Sometimes when women who have "issues" cannot get through them otherwise, they find a reason to do so when they get preggers. I don't know if your friend is like this, though.

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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    She is a little over 2 months...and I really hope she is like this. I talked to her tonight on the phone, asked how she was doing and tried to get a vibe on whather emotions were like. She said she tired of being sick and not being able to sleep and etc etc etc...I asked how she was feeling and I got "I dunno. Fine. I guess."

    So I asked her if we could do lunch this week....I'm thinking all I can do is tell her that if she needs an ear, or to vent or whatever to give me a call. Yah?




  13. #13
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    So I asked her if we could do lunch this week....I'm thinking all I can do is tell her that if she needs an ear, or to vent or whatever to give me a call. Yah?
    I would say that's the best you can do right now. But don't push it...One of my girlfriends, bless her heart, everytime I talked to her was just hounding me about how I was "doing" and how I "felt." It's like, man, I'm pregnant, not sick or dying. She has calmed down a little more now, I think she's getting used to the idea a little. Just don't annoy her, treat her like you normally would, do lunches, call and chat, whatever, but make sure she knows that you're there if she needs to talk. It's always nice, pregnant or not, to know that you have someone to listen when you need it!!

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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    So, I went to lunch with my friend. Oh girls, she was SO skinny! She had this beautiful face before, full cheeks, pretty smile, and now she is so drawn and jsut gone! Her shoulders are nothing but bones and her legs used to be thin and muscular and so sexy! She had the best legs...now they are jsut skinny skinny skinny!

    Glam, you actually know this girl I think.... Anyway, we had lunch, I got her talking, got her laughing and got her to relax a bit, she actually ate quite a bit there... I dug in a bit and yah, she's depressed, she wasn't thrilled about being preggers at all, her man's family "made me feel like I had to, it was so expected of me." and her man (they are engaged right now) is "Being grumpy with me all the time now."

    She said she wants to work in the club again for a while, just until she shows, she says. From a previous conversation she had told me "He would leave me if I danced again, he hates it." and another time "He doesn't even want me to go into a bar while pregnant, he wants nothing to happen it."
    So her telling me that she determine to dance again....ugh...I don't know...not good though.

    We took a walk and talked a lot, I told her that if she get's frustrated, upset or just needs to hang out and blow some steam to call me. Wether she will or not, I don't know... I still have a bad feeling about all this...but I guess beyond that, there's nothing else I can do?




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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    Hopefully when she's futher along and starts to feel her baby move she will be happy about the beautiful life inside of her and maybe she will change sometimes pregnancy can change a woman for the better. I know in my first months of preggers. I didn't feel like i was happy to be preggers and didn't bond with my baby at all. I just slept and went to work. But the moment I felt his little body fluttering around in me it was like Ok this is my baby and i'm gonna be the best mom their is and nobody better fuck with me or him.

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    Default Re: OCD, Body Issues and Pregnant

    I really really hope so. For both of them.

    I remember when I was preggers, my ex and I were partiers, and I wasn't exactly the motherly type....it idn't take long though for that switch to get flipped and I changed things around. So here's hoping!

    Thanks for the advice girls.




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